His Bear Hands (Bear Creek Grizzlies Book 1) (10 page)

I
t took more
courage for Simon to walk into the bar to face Zoe than most things in his past required, even when he'd run into buildings full of guys who wanted him dead. That was nothing compared to the sheer devastation she could wreak with just a few words.

He sat across the table from her, so he could see every inch of her and faced her head-on. And he thanked Rosie for leaving the whiskey on the table so he could get a little liquid courage before he talked to Zoe about staying. Simon folded his hands on the table after two or three shots and took a deep breath. "First of all, Tate is fine. Well, he was fine when I left him. Since Rosie headed that way, I can't be sure."

A hint of a smile crossed her expression and something in Simon's chest eased. He concentrated on the peanut shells on the table, though, and stirred the mess with his finger as he went on. "The game wardens showed up, along with the sheriff and a few other cops, to arrest Castellano and his guys for poaching."

"Poaching?" Zoe sat up, frowning.

"Yep." Simon smiled as he tipped a little more whiskey into both of the shot glasses and nudged one towards her. He always found it easier to speak from the heart with a little booze. "What else could they be doing, running around in the forest with a bunch of rifles and camouflage, but illegally hunting? We take that very seriously around here, particularly since Cooper swears up and down he saw them take a shot at a couple of bear cubs."

Zoe shot him a sideways look. "Mick Castellano is an organized crime boss with friends all the way up through the Justice Department and into the Senate. I know that for a fact — I cooked books for all of them. Do you really think any of that will stick?"

Simon smiled. "You don't know our game wardens. Besides, didn't they get Al Capone on tax evasion?" That shadow of a smile reappeared, and her shoulders relaxed a little. Simon knocked his knuckles on the table. "So that's taken care of for now. I made it clear to Castellano that there will be hell to pay if we see a hint of him or his guys around here. He's all busted up anyway. From the car accident."

A giggle escaped and Zoe's green eyes grew wider. "The car accident, or the bear accident?"

His bear liked hearing her giggle, wanted to hear a full body laugh. Wanted to see her let loose with joy. Fling her head back and shout to the world, spin around like a dervish. He wanted to pick her up and spin with her until they were both so dizzy they fell down. He cleared his throat and tried to keep from beaming rainbows at her. "As far as the cops are concerned, it was a one in a million car accident. With some strange claw marks in the roof. That could have come from anywhere."

She rested her chin on her elbow and watched him, and some uncertainty crept back into her expression.

Simon went on before he lost the rest of his courage, or had to search for it in the bottom of the bottle. "And since Castellano is out of the way, or mostly out of the way, Tate said that means you can go back to California. If you want."

Zoe went still.

"Only if you want." Simon tried to quiet the bear and his grumbling at the thought of suggesting she leave. "I want you to stay. I want you to stay here with me, at the lodge. Forever. Stay with me."

She didn't speak. The silence stretched.

Simon's heart started to pound. He cleared his throat and spread his hands on the table. "I'll get better wifi. I'm sure there's a way to make sure everything connects. And better generators, so your computers will always work. I'll try that business software you wanted, and if you want to do all the books, I would love it. I would. And if you want nothing to do with the lodge or the business, I'd love that too. Whatever you want, Zoe. Whatever it takes for you to stay, I'll do."

Her forehead wrinkled, and he talked faster, the words tripping over each other until he didn't know if she could even understand him. "I'll show you how to be a bear. How wonderful and freeing it is. We can go fishing at dawn, and running through the meadow in fall when the leaves are turning and the air is crisp. And — and I'll build you a den. A cabin behind the lodge, I know the perfect location. So it'll be just us. No guests, no Ethan or Cooper or the rest of the guys. Just you and I. Just — stay, Zoe. Please stay."

She breathed a little faster, her chin wobbling as she looked at him. Her voice broke. "But what about Tate?"

"What about Tate?" Simon looked at her, struggling to understand. What the hell did he care where the mountain lion went? "Well, he can stay if he wants, or he can go back to California and do what Tate does. If you want him to stay, I'll chain him up in our basement."

A brief smile, despite the way she trembled, and Zoe fiddled with the basket of peanuts. "What did you mean when you said I'm your mate? What does that mean?"

He took a deep breath. A dive bar in the middle of the afternoon, shortly after a series of near-death experiences, was not his idea of a place to have a romantic conversation. "My bear recognized you, the first night we met. There's supposed to be one perfect person, in the entire world, for each of us. Sometimes people search their entire lives, looking for that person, and don't find them. So when you walked in with Tate, I almost didn't believe my luck." Simon desperately wanted to touch her, wanted to smooth the worry lines from her forehead.

"Is that why you turned me into a bear? So we would match?" She hesitated as she asked, and started peeling the label off the whiskey bottle.

He couldn't take it any more and caught her hands in his, tangling their fingers together. "Yes and no. Whether you stayed human or not didn't matter — I loved you exactly as you were, and I love you exactly as you are. I turned you because that was the only way to save you. And I couldn't live without you. I can't live without you. Zoe, the thought of losing you..."

His voice broke and he cleared his throat, frowning fiercely as he leaned on the table and studied her hands. Her wrists were bird delicate under his fingers, all of her fragile in his hands. "I couldn't take it. And this morning, when Castellano's guys were shooting at us at the lodge, all I could think about was you. Where you were, if you were in trouble or afraid or in pain, how fast I could get to you, how many people I needed to kill to keep you safe. You're my air, Zoe. Without you, I can't breathe."

By the time he finished, she was crying. He felt even worse. He made her cry.

Zoe's hands shook in his and she tried to brush away the tears but he couldn't stand to let her go, to lose an inch of contact, so she ended up shrugging her shoulders and wiping her cheeks on her shirt. She snuffled and squeezed his hands. "I have one condition. Well, two."

"Anything," he said. He almost launched over the table to hug her. She would stay. She wanted to stay. "Anything you want, Zoe, it's yours."

"I want to buy that land you talked about." She set her shoulders and got that determined look on her face that was so adorable he almost couldn't stand it. Simon had to bite the inside of his cheek to keep from saying anything. Zoe frowned at him, even as more tears shimmered in her eyes. "So there's more room for your trips and cabins and the adventure camp. And for bear things."

"Bear things?" He struggled not to laugh.

"Right. Hunting and climbing trees and roaming around. Right? Isn't that what bears do?"

Simon couldn't wait and lurched up to drag her to her feet so he could kiss her. He wanted to breathe her in, to taste her, hold her close until she smelled like him and no one would ever doubt their connection. He held her close and chuckled, stroking her hair back so he could see her face. "I can't wait to show you what bears do, Zoe. I really can't."

She snuggled into his embrace and rested her cheek on the flat plane of his chest, her hand resting just over his heart. "And I want to build that cabin behind the lodge. So it's just ours. And you let me sleep in until at least nine. At least. Ten would be better."

He laughed, squeezing her so he could lift her off the ground and spin them both around. "You'll be my mate, Zoe? Stay with me and be my mate?"

"Maybe eleven," she said, voice muffled against his shoulder.

Simon put her back on her feet and held her at arm's length so he could see her green eyes and that hint of a smile, the laughter he heard in her voice but desperately wanted to see on her face. "Zoe Stewart, will you be my mate?"

Her eyes searched his and her palms rested flat on his cheeks, maybe so she could feel his smile when the beard hid his joy. In that too serious voice she used, she said, "Yes."

And that was enough to set him spinning again, carrying her with him until they whirled through the bar and knocked over tables and chairs and almost broke the bottle of whiskey. He didn't care at all. He didn't want to stop dancing with her for even a moment.

I
t took
a month for the land purchase to go through. The neighbors were happy to sell to Simon, and even though they didn't understand who Zoe was, she didn't care. The land was in her name as well as Simon's, so it was even more of a commitment than the mating ceremony he insisted they have. Eventually, Zoe always added, because there was a part of her that knew it was too good to be true. She waited for the other shoe to drop, for Castellano or his guys or something bad to show up and ruin it.

But as she waited for the lawyers and realtors to do their thing, and for the long process of transferring the digital money into real money without getting caught at something illegal, Simon started building her cabin. Zoe didn't know how he did it while running the business, taking the guests on long fishing trips into the backwoods, and working with the game wardens to track predator levels throughout the newly acquired land. But Simon advertised needing some construction help down in town, and all the young men with extra time on their hands or a desire to show Simon Crawford they could work hard showed up to cut logs, split shingles, and mix mud.

Zoe still helped in the lodge but focused on getting Simon's books in order. It turned out her business degree was worth something after all. She spent most days in Simon's office, especially since he spent so much time out and about, and usually wore one of his sweatshirts just to remind herself what he smelled like. She frowned at the new computer she'd made him order, clicking through the accounting software she installed to try to re-create his archaic ledger in a manageable, useful format. Zoe didn't look up as the door swung in and Simon appeared. "Hey."

He grumbled something that might have been a greeting, but she could tell he was tired. He walked around the desk and waited until she stood up, then took his place in the big chair. He pulled her onto his lap, just like he did every night, regardless of how much it distracted her from what she needed to get done. Zoe concentrated on the computer as he sighed and relaxed in the chair and drew shapes on her back. She flipped through the ledger and exhaled in irritation. "This is a ridiculous way to run a business, you know."

His hands settled at her waist and she jumped. Simon didn't comment on it, but she knew it bothered him that she still wasn't entirely relaxed around him. She couldn't help it. It still felt too good to be true, too much a dream. As if she would wake up any moment and it would wisp away like fog in the sun. Simon squeezed her sides and wrapped his arms around her to draw her back against his chest, nuzzling her neck. "Maybe it's a good time to pause. I have a small surprise I want to show you."

"A surprise?" She wiggled to face him in his lap, rewarded with a groan and immediate evidence of how much he liked having her there. "What kind of surprise?"

"A good surprise." Simon stood her up and closed the ledger, turning off the computer monitor before he led her out of the office.

Zoe's heart beat a little faster as she followed him out the back of the lodge and down the narrow deer track toward where their cabin would be. The guests and the guys, including Tate, congregated around the fire pit out front, so no noise disturbed the night as Simon meandered through the trees. She squeezed his hand. "Where are we going?"

"It's a surprise, girl. Be patient."

"Did I ever tell you I don't really like surprises?"

"You'll like this one," he said, and paused long enough to kiss her. "Now hush."

Zoe rolled her eyes but followed along, and when they turned a small bend in the trail, she saw the cabin. She hadn't seen it in a week or so, and stopped dead in her tracks. It looked nearly complete, the walls up and the roof shingled. She covered her mouth to keep from saying something ridiculous. Simon chuckled and picked her up, carrying her the rest of the way to the cabin and through the doorway. He kissed her and set her down, and for a long moment, Zoe could only stare at what waited inside the cabin.

A fire crackled in the stacked stone fireplace, and though the floors weren't finished, he'd spread a small mountain of blankets, sheepskins, and furs across the area in front of the fire. A few candles cast just enough light to see by, and a bottle of wine and two glasses waited as well. She turned to look at him, speechless, and Simon laughed.

He rubbed a hand through his hair until it stood up in spikes. "We're so booked up with guests, I wanted to stay with you here for the night. For a little privacy."

Zoe laughed; she knew what that meant. He didn't like being quiet when they made love.

He closed the door behind them, then caught her hand and laced their fingers together. Zoe almost couldn't see through a blur of tears as Simon led her to the big open space to the right of the door. "This is going to be the kitchen, and over there is the living room. I thought we could put the dinner table here, and in the back..."

He kept talking but the words rushed past Zoe until she didn't understand any of it. A house. He'd built her a house and wanted to show it off, leading her through the spacious floor-plan with only framed walls to the back of the cabin. Simon released her hand long enough to stand in the middle of what he called the master suite, frowning as he gestured and turned. "I thought the bathroom should be here. We laid the plumbing for two sinks and a shower, but I think we need a tub, too. A big tub. Deep."

"Oh?" She wanted to laugh at him; sometimes he was too much a bear, even in human form. No doubt the extra large tub was just so he could submerge himself in hot water and bubble bath, not so they could share. Zoe pressed her fingers to her lips to keep a giggle in. Her knees weakened as she watched him. Imagine — he was hers. All hers.

Simon grinned and winked. "Bet your ass." But then he waved at another corner of the room. "And the walk-in closets should be here. I didn't know how big of a closet you wanted, so I asked Rosie and she said as big as possible. So here's your closet."

"I don't have that many clothes," Zoe said, still wanting to laugh. "Even with everything Tate boxed up and brought out here."

"I'll buy you more." Simon grumbled as he picked her up again and swung her around, pausing only long enough to kiss her hungrily before putting her down and taking her hand again. But he hesitated as he gestured at a small adjacent room, or at least the set of framed walls. "And this is supposed to be — a nursery. If you want. When you want. In case we — you know."

Her breath caught as she looked around at the empty space. A nursery. She hadn't even thought about kids. Hadn't
ever
thought about kids. She didn't know how to be a mother, but she knew he would be a damn good father. They could learn together, when it came time. So she gripped his hand and nodded, taking a deep breath. "Yeah. This would be a good nursery. But where will the first one go when number two and three come along?"

His smile almost blinded her, and he pulled her in for a rib-cracking hug. Zoe squeezed her eyes shut and wondered if it was possible to die of happiness. To literally just stop breathing from too much joy.

Simon cleared his throat a couple of times before launching toward a basic staircase. "Upstairs, of course. A guest room up here, too, and a couple of bathrooms. So no one fights over the sink. That happened a lot when I was a kid."

Zoe wasn't quite brave enough to test the two-by-four steps, and was glad when Simon didn't insist on showing her everything. Instead, he kissed her, walked her backwards toward the crackling fireplace, and tugged at the front of her jeans.

She laughed and backed up, eyeing him sideways as she played with the hem of her shirt. "What, you build me an amazing cabin and I'm supposed to put out?"

Simon's grin sparked heat all the way through her, until she was pretty sure she must have backed right into the fireplace. His voice got all deep and grumbly as he pulled off his flannel shirt and tossed it aside, large hands flexing as he studied her. "That nursery isn't going to fill itself, babe."

Zoe shivered in anticipation. His intensity still made her nervous, but he went out of his way to be careful with her. Like she was delicate china. Something precious. She swallowed another knot of emotion and his expression softened. Zoe kicked off her shoes and unbuttoned her jeans, let them slide low on her hips as she tried to pull her shirt off. She wanted him too, in a sudden desperate surge that flooded through her until every piece of clothing was too much. Sometimes it was the bear, demanding to stake a claim on him again, and sometimes it was her, needing to be touched. The gap between the two narrowed, until some days Zoe didn't know whether it was the bear's idea or her own, and that was just fine by her.

Zoe only got halfway out of her shirt before Simon started to help, tearing the fabric in his determination, and Zoe laughed as clothing flew everywhere and then they lay on the soft pile of blankets in front of the fire, naked together.

He lay over her, running his fingers over her face, and breathed against her mouth for a long moment. "I love you, Zoe."

She lifted her head to kiss him, to taste the warm whiskey he'd been drinking earlier, to feel the heat of his tongue against hers. He gripped her sides and her breath caught. She managed to say, "I love you too," before Simon rose over her and filled her in one smooth thrust.

She sighed and moved under him, always ready to feel him inside her, pressing into her until they were so close she almost lost where she ended and he began. Simon groaned and pushed up on his elbows so he could see her face, and Zoe held on to his arms as their bodies collided. Rapture rolled through her as he kissed her again and Zoe wanted it to last forever. Wanted to be with him forever.

Simon grumbled and slid his hand under the small of her back, then rolled until Zoe lay on top. She pushed upright and shook her hair back, reveling in the way he stared at her, lusted after her, held her hips until bruises formed. He loved when she rode him, and not just because he was a lazy bear who wanted to share the hard work. He couldn't keep his hands off her hips and stomach and breasts, would have kept her naked all the time if Zoe allowed it. He groaned and squeezed her thighs as she rocked her hips against him, rolling and thrusting as her pleasure grew in a tidal wave. Zoe's head fell back as it crested, as she fell over the edge of pure ecstasy, as her muscles seized and she froze, moaning as she tried to move through the aftershocks.

She sighed and leaned forward on his chest, dazed. He chuckled and squeezed her hip before sitting up to hold her closer. "We're not done yet," he said, all grumbly and rough and dark, and desire immediately lit her up.

Zoe worked her hands into his hair to drag his mouth to hers, though she murmured against his lips. "Simon didn't say."

He laughed and nibbled on her shoulder, and Zoe gasped. Simon kissed her deeply before he squeezed her hip, settling closer still. "Yes, I did."

Zoe held on as he started to move. Simon could say just about anything and she didn't mind at all. She could play his game for the rest of her life and not regret a moment of it. She held on to him tighter. She loved him, her bear loved him, and once again she felt content. At peace. At home.