Highlander Mine (16 page)

“Hamish,” I said softly, smiling, shaking my head as though amused by the follies of a naive child. I could feel our audience jumping to conclusions, and I did my best to brush off their eagle-eyed judgment and play my role.
Think, think, think,
I willed myself.
Come up with a convincing cover.
I smiled at the assembly: Katriona, Christie and Ailie and Knox, among others. “’Tis a technique that was taught to me by one of my instructors at the teaching college,” I explained. “For mathematics. The count of the dice is good practice for sums. As for the decision-making technique, that was in jest, Hamish. You know that. We make our decisions by considering the wisest option, the most altruistic option, the option that will better not our own situation but that of our fellow man. We consider our legacy and our reputation, always. Now give me the dice so I may put them with the rest of my teaching instruments. So the matter may be settled.”

Hamish handed over the dice. I could see that he understood his mistake, and had, for now, learned from it. We were always going to have the odd glitch in spinning the perfect lie. He was only nine; he couldn’t be expected to have the consistency of a saint. Nor could I, for that matter. I could only hope that I’d smoothed over the incident without any permanent damage to my plans.

And I was silently congratulating myself for the calmness of my response. I’d felt inclined to throttle Katriona, or at the very least warn her to leave my nephew alone. He was neither her charge nor her concern. But the fact of the matter was that I was leaving. I could not afford to create any animosity whatsoever. Hamish was an innocent child to be protected and nurtured, and I would soon no longer be on hand to do either.

“Please forgive me, Katriona,” I said. “This misunderstanding is entirely my fault. ’Tis true I have used the dice regularly with Hamish, to work on sums. And I regret that I did once settle a small contest between us by employing them. But it was all done in the spirit of play and with the educational value of the game in mind. I’ll make sure it never happens again. If you prefer, I will remove the dice altogether.”

Katriona smiled, moderately appeased. “Aye,” she said. “I insist that they are removed from any and all lessons with my children.”

“Of course,” I conceded gracefully.

Before I was further tempted to strangulate either one Mackenzie or several of them, I took my nephew by the hand and ushered him out of the hall and up the stairs that led to our private guest chambers for a much-needed hour of peace. Most of all, I needed some time to quietly savor the consuming memory of my first kiss, the effects of which had changed and charged the very alchemy of my soul.

* * *

T
HE
VISITOR
WAS
a man by the name of Thane Macintosh. He had a dark mane of wild, wavy hair and a handsome face. In his eyes lurked the possibility of danger, even malice, but he was civil enough. He had stopped in at Kinloch on his way south, to Edinburgh, where he was visiting an acquaintance he did not name.

We were seated at the evening meal, and I had made a point of sitting far from Laird Mackenzie, whose frequent, loaded glances I refused to acknowledge. I couldn’t bring myself to feel humiliated by my own behavior by the loch. Shamelessly, my only regret was that we’d been interrupted before I’d been able to conquer his reserve.

“Is there any news you need delivered to Edinburgh, Knox?” asked Thane. “I should reach the city within a few days.”

I was almost tempted to ask for a ride, but it was too soon. I hadn’t yet secured the money, and truth be told, I didn’t like the idea of traveling alone with a man like Thane Macintosh. On my gauge of men’s characters, I had one ideal and one nemesis. If I’d had to assess Thane’s placement on the spectrum, my instincts suggested he skewed toward the latter, and I had no intention of putting myself at the mercy of any man.
Save one.

“We have messengers that ride every few days, Thane,” Knox told him. “For trade and communication.”

The conversation faded out as I considered Knox’s statement. It was unwelcome information for two reasons. First, it meant that questions about my identity, and Hamish’s, could easily be researched. It also meant that traveling parties could be summoned to seek out a missing person, or one that happened to be on the run. I remember the boathouse I’d seen from the distance. If I could launch a boat when the builders left for the day, I’d have the whole night to sail, to hide the boat and to disappear altogether before the boat was discovered to be missing.

I thought I might have to act sooner than later. Maybe I could do without money. I decided that I’d sneak down to the boathouse this evening to see if there was a boat light enough to drag and launch on my own. Then I could solidify my plan one way or another.

“He’s quite enigmatic, isn’t he?” said Christie, after the meal had been eaten and cleared away.

“Who?”

“Thane Macintosh. Very mysterious. Inscrutable.”

I wouldn’t have picked Christie as one to find intrigue in the brooding type. It was true that Thane had watched her sporadically throughout the meal, although many people did: she was a bright spark, full of sunny, gentle laughter and kind praise. Thane Macintosh was a man whose dark side was a prominent feature of his countenance, and I was somewhat relieved, on Christie’s behalf, when she said, “I’ll be glad when he takes his leave of Kinloch.”

Katriona had disappeared with Greer. And when Edward was summoned to bed in the boys’ communal sleeping quarters, it was suggested that Hamish accompany him.

“’Tis typical for the noble boys aged ten to fifteen,” explained Ailie.

“I’ll be ten soon,” piped in Hamish. “In only two months and four days.”

Christie added, “Those are the lads Hamish will associate with as a fledgling apprentice soldier while he’s here at Kinloch. It might be good for him to meet them, if you’ll allow it, Amelia.”

The sisters might have thought I was reluctant to be separated from Hamish, and I was, but I could see the value in his inclusion. Ailie continued. “The boys rise early to help with chores allocated to them by the men of the keep. Those who will become their teachers and their guides in whatever trade they’re being trained to master. Their separation from their mothers is considered a rite of passage, so the boys can become well acquainted as workers and future leaders of the clan.”

I knew it was an exceedingly fortunate position for Hamish to be in, and I encouraged him to go with the other boys. He would be well protected as one of the nobles, and he would finally, for the first time in his life, be able to enjoy the regular company of children his own age, and with similar interests. I was sad to be separated from him, but this would become his new lifestyle, fending for himself within the Mackenzie clan. Best to let him begin.

Knox, as always, was central to the activity. There was always someone waiting to speak to him, to ask his advice, or to serve him. Christie and Ailie, too, were popular members of the clan and were sought after for conversation, and gossip.

And so it was relatively easy, once Hamish had left with Edward and the other boys, to quietly excuse myself from the hall and make my way back to my chambers.

There, I waited for a time. When the activity of the clan had quieted somewhat, I wrapped my shawl around my shoulders and silently made my way down the corridor, belowstairs and out the back entrance of the manor. I was careful, and I went unnoticed. The night was balmy, but the breeze smelled like rain. How enchanting to detect such a thing. The breeze in the backstreets of Edinburgh smelled like coal, manure and whiskey.

The boathouse was, as I’d hoped, quiet. The boat I had spied from the elevated vantage point of the bluff was still perched on its stand. I could see now that it had a hole in it and was being repaired. There was a larger craft moored near the shore, but I dismissed it immediately. It was a fishing vessel and was too large for what I needed.

I went inside. The boathouse was large enough to hold upward of ten small wooden boats, which were stacked on specially designed racks. Each had been paired with several oars of different designs, smooth and beautifully made, as everything here at Kinloch seemed to be. People of this clan were especially talented at design, innovation and organization. They took every tool and detail of their environs to heart, and I admired this about them. I knew Hamish would, too. I knew if I left him here and wasn’t able to return, he would learn to appreciate these values, as well. He would succeed and prosper without me, if need be. The thought vexed me, of course, but it could hardly be helped. I refused any wavering doubts or regrets.

And here was my escape. The boats were small enough for me to drag off the racks and down to the water myself. I could launch one of them and row down the small river, to make my way south, to find rides on hay wagons or to pay a passing carriage, if I had earned enough.

I could leave now.

But nay. I needed to say goodbye to Hamish, without actually revealing my intentions. I wanted to explain to him, in a letter, that I would come back to him as soon as I could. And I wanted to tell him not to look for me, or try to follow me.

Money, I knew, would be very useful. I wondered where the Mackenzies kept their bank.
It would make your journey easier, and quicker.
But nay. I wouldn’t steal. I’d rather go hungry now than steal from Knox’s clan. I would try to wait until my first payment from Katriona for the teaching, and then I would take my leave. I hoped I might receive my dues the next day, or the day after.

Outside, the rain began to fall. It was a heavy downpour and I could see the million droplets spiking the loch in a dancing, magical spectacle.
Damn.
I would get soaked walking back to the manor. At the edge of the horizon, above the jagged peaks of the Highlands, the sky was lighter. I thought the rain might ease shortly and decided to wait it out. One of the larger boats was supported by a swinging sling of sorts, strung low. It was lined, I could see, with blankets. I climbed into it, lying back for a moment, listening to the sound of the rain and hoping the storm would soon pass. The boat swung gently, lulling me.

My mind roved through a labyrinth of hopes and fears and aspirations, until I might have drifted into a brief, dozed revelry. But the dream was not a memory. From the shadowy depths of my hazy trance, it felt like a premonition.

The door was locked. The room was dark.

“Amelia.”

I knew that voice. Its devil-tainted rasp reached into my throat and grabbed my heart. I couldn’t breathe.

“I knew you’d agree to my demands eventually.”

Nay! I wouldn’t agree! Ever. I tried to scream and fight back, but I couldn’t move. My limbs felt weighted and powerless.

“Take off your dress.”

I would not allow this! “Please.” Hot tears wet my face. “Please leave me.”

“Ask me to take you,” he commanded. “Beg me to be the first to possess you. Do it now. I own you and I intend to take what is mine.”

I was swamped in terror. Black doom overcame my rage, engulfing me in its inky mire.

“Or I’ll have the boy’s throat cut,” came the unthinkable, horrific warning. “We found him.”

Oh, God, nay. Please.
“All right,” I sobbed. “I’ll do anything. Anything. Please.”

He was there, leaning over me. His hand reached out—

A bloodcurling scream pierced the darkness.

Mine.

Strong hands grabbed me, shaking me awake. “Amelia!” came the familiarly gruff reply.
“’Tis me, Knox.”

“Knox?” I breathed, taking in heaving lungfuls of air. “Knox.” My awareness gave way to rage. “What in God’s name are you
doing
here?” I cried. “You nearly frightened me to death!”

He had climbed into the boat with me, and was clutching my shoulders with his hands. And he was equally furious. “The question is not about what
I
am doing here,” he seethed. “I was told by one of my guards that you were seen—
yet again
—wandering off into the distance. Are you
mad?
What are you doing out here in the middle of a stormy night...in a
boat?
”

Damn it.
I’d taken great care not to be seen. How had they noticed me? “I—I like boats. I was admiring the craftsmanship.”

He stared at me as though I truly had gone mad. “You...
like boats?
”

Oh, hell.
I couldn’t have given a more idiotic answer if I’d tried. “I’ve never been in a boat,” I added. “I’d fancy a sail out on the loch one day, if it’s no trouble.”

He blinked incredulously. Those long lashes really were a work of art, I couldn’t help reflecting. “Oh, you would, would you?” he said.

“Aye.”

He was not fooled, however. He used his most authoritative tone, carefully, as though to make sure I understood his dictate. “You’re up to something and I want to know what it is. I
insist
you tell me exactly what you’re doing here. What is it you’re hiding from me, lass? Why is it that you seem incapable of being
honest
with me?”

Lord, how I wished I could. But my dream was still thrashing in my mind.

“Is Hamish all right?” I said, my heartbeat still thumping riotously in my chest.

My abrupt change of the subject clearly annoyed him. Hearing the genuine worry in my voice, perhaps, he allowed my question. “Hamish is fine,” he said. “He’s in the boys’ quarters, fast asleep, I would assume, with all the other boys. Being looked after by the matrons and guarded by twenty-foot stone walls and a four-hundred-strong, enviably well-trained, astoundingly well-equipped army. Does that ease your mind?” he fumed with cutting vehemence.

Nay, I wanted to say. It does not ease my mind. Not in the slightest.

Knox was crouched over me in a somewhat aggressive position, almost pinning my shoulders to the floor of the boat, which was swinging slightly. And we were alone. In the dark of night, with the sound of rain patting rhythmically on the slate roof. In the aftermath of my nightmare, his giant presence might have been distressing.