Hiding Out (20 page)

Washing her face with a cool damp cloth, Haley studied herself in the mirror.  Her first encounter with sex had been rape in its purest form.  Her attacker took something that wasn’t being offered.  This time, however, her wounds were self-inflicted for she had willing offered her heart.  Different beginning and middle, virtually the same end. 

Haley was calmer now.  She unlocked and opened the bathroom door.  Pausing in the doorway, she looked at Sam’s bed with its rumpled sheets and knew she couldn’t sleep in it any more.  Walking to his closet, she grabbed her duffle bags and started packing.  It felt good to be taking some action.

It had made sense at first.  Sam figured if he could just push her away a little, he could focus on Adam’s recovery.  He had stayed by his brother’s side day and night for a week and the first time he left Adam woke up.  He sighed.  And he was so selfish.  He left Adam alone because he wanted to have sex.  He shook his head.  No, that wasn’t right.  He loved her.  And he wanted so badly to be with her, be close to her, and to forget all the bad things happening to them right now that he hadn’t even paused to consider the consequences.  Now he had hurt Adam.  He frowned.  And Haley.  He would have to call Neville, tell him to keep an extra close eye on her.  The look on her face when he told her not to come to the hospital, when he told her he didn’t want her around right now.  His heart ached as he thought about it.  And it wasn’t true.  He did want her around.  He just felt he should punish himself for neglecting Adam.

Well, you’ve screwed things up royally this time, Sam
, he chided.  Suddenly, he felt the urge to do something he hadn’t done in so long. 
Please,
he prayed,
please let me have a chance to make everything right.  Please.
  But he didn’t feel any better.

Mr. Davenport warned him that she might be upset today, to keep an extra close eye on her for a few days until things settled down.  He had been in the kitchen making breakfast when the door slammed.  Mr. Davenport and Miss Haley had gone straight to the bedroom upon their arrival the night before and hadn’t been heard from since.  He knew what that meant.  Secretly, he thrilled in the thought that they might be in love.  Then he received the phone call.  With trepidation, he mounted the stairs.  It was quiet on the second floor, too quiet.

Neville entered the bedroom cautiously, unsure of what he might find.  The room was vacant, the bed thoroughly mussed up. 
Must change those sheets today,
he reminded himself.  The bathroom door was ajar, but still he knocked and called out before entering.               

“Miss Haley, are you in here?”

There was no response.  He slowly pushed the door open, but the room was empty.  He glanced around.  Her toiletries were gone.  Panic gripped him.  He walked over to the closet.  Her bags were gone and so were all of her clothes, all but the ones Mr. Davenport had purchased for her.  What could he do?  He couldn’t talk to Mr. Davenport right now.  Besides the fact that his cell phone would be off in the hospital room, he would have to exhaust all efforts before he brought Miss Haley’s absence to Mr. Davenport’s attention.

Slowly, he walked down the stairs and returned to the kitchen to contemplate his course of action.  Maybe something would come to him while he prepared all of Mr. Adam’s favorites.  Maybe Miss Haley would return before he left for the hospital at four.  She had to return.

After moving all of her belongings, Haley felt the need to clear her head.  She needed fresh air.  She changed into jogging pants, a long sleeved t-shirt and her fleece to do something she had never had the courage to do alone previously.  She snuck out the back door, let herself out the garden gate, and began running.  At first she thought it was a random jog, but soon she realized she was heading straight for Ellen’s.  It made sense, and Ellen would help her reason everything out.

Filled with a sudden sense of purpose, she picked up the pace, lulled by the sound of her feet pounding the pavement, calmed by the sway of her pony tail in the breeze, chilled by the cold battering her cheeks.  Through it all, she thought only of what she would say to Ellen.

“What are you going to do?”  Ellen asked, her sad gaze fixed on Haley.

“I don’t know,” she responded, staring at her friend over a steaming mug of hot chocolate.  “I can’t believe I…” Her voice trailed off in shame.

“Please,” Ellen began, waving at the air.  “We’ve all done that.”  She watched Haley’s expression.  “I know, but trust me, the rest of us have all given ourselves to some guy who turns out to be unworthy.”

Haley moaned.  “But that’s just it.  I thought he might wind up being ‘the one.’”  She shrugged.  “I mean…he’s always been so good to me, so kind, so…perfect!”  She watched Ellen nursing little Abigail and felt a twinge of jealously. 

“So, are you taking off now?”  Ellen watched for a reaction.  She didn’t want Haley to leave, but her life and her heart might be safer if she did move on.  The police had yet to locate the man in the sketch artist’s picture.  There had not been a single solid lead.  And Haley had never even seen the picture since she had been so busy with work and Sam.

“I can’t yet.  Not until you come back.  I made a commitment that I intend to keep.  Sam will be busy at the hospital, so it’s not as though I’ll have to spend any time with him.  Plus, I discovered that I love the advertising world.”  Her eyes brightened.  “And, Ellen, I’m good at it!”

She beamed, thrilled to hear the excitement in Haley’s voice.  Then she bit her lip as she remembered.  “What if I don’t come back?”

Haley paused.  “What do you mean?”

“What if I decide to be a stay-at-home mom?”  She smiled slightly and glanced lovingly at the sleeping infant in her arms.

Her face clouded over.  “I don’t know.  I guess if you’re not coming back I just have to give notice and decide where to go next.”  She saw the sadness creep into Ellen’s face. 

“Don’t worry.  Now that we’ve rekindled our friendship, you’ll always know where I am.  I promise.”  She glanced at the clock.  It was already four.  Where had the day gone?  “I really need to get going,” she said, rising from the couch.  “I have a long jog back.”

“Nonsense.  I’ll have Ryan pick up some dinner, and he’ll drop you off later.”

Sam glanced at the clock.  Had it only been six hours since he last saw her?  Even though he sat there staring at his brother, willing him to get well, his thoughts were consumed with Haley.  What was she doing at this very moment?  Did she hate him?  Could she ever find it in her heart to forgive his rash behavior? 

When Neville entered the room, Sam was holding his head in his hands, staring at the floor.  “Sir.”  He placed the box of food on the bedside table.

Sam glanced at him.  He knew he should thank him for the meal, but he had to know how Haley was.  He saw how uncomfortable Neville looked.  Slowly, he straightened.  “How is she?”  His hands gripped the arms of the chair as he awaited a response.

Neville shifted and averted his gaze for a moment.  “It’s difficult to say, sir,” he said as he reluctantly met his employer’s eyes.

Standing slowly, Sam asked in an even tone, “Why is it difficult to say?”

He cleared his throat and tugged at his collar, which seemed to be tightening uncomfortably around his neck.  “Because I haven’t seen her to ask,” he responded weakly.

The hairs on his neck stood up.  “Is she locked in the bedroom?”

Neville shook his head.

“The bathroom?”

Another shake.

“Where is she, Neville?”  He asked through tight lips.

His shoulders drooped.  “I don’t know, sir.”  Sam had crossed the short distance between them in a single stride.  “I went to check on her immediately, but she was gone.”  His head sank.  “I looked everywhere.  I’ll keep looking.”  He was desperate to soothe Mr. Davenport’s anger.

A new alarming thought crossed his mind.  “Her things?”  Sam whispered.

Neville swallowed.  “Gone, sir.”

Sam sat hard on the chair.  “Please, go,” he croaked, his throat tight.

Neville didn’t need to be asked twice.  He turned on his heels and bolted for the door.  There was only one thing that would make this right.  He had to find Miss Haley.

Sam paced restlessly, torn between being here for his brother and finding the woman he loved.  And while he paced he berated himself. 
You knew she was fragile.  You knew that anything could just set her off.  You knew she could just take off and never look back.  You might have been enough to hold her here, but not after the way you treated her.
  His throat burned. 
And this, hours after you had made love.  Hours after she gave you the most tangible symbol of her trust.  You were going to be different with her.  Now you’re just as bad as that other monster.

He needed to talk to someone.  He turned to stare at Adam, once again willing him to wake up.  It didn’t work.  The doctor assured him that Adam was shaking off the coma ever so slowly.  It was just a matter of time. 
I don’t have time,
he moaned. 
I’m losing Haley now!

Haley snuck back in the way she came.  It never occurred to her anyone would be missing her, worrying over her.  And right now, she just wanted a little peace.  She tiptoed up the plush carpeted stairs without making a sound and entered the guest room.  Once safely inside, she quietly closed the door.  Haley peeled off her jogging wear, toyed with the idea of a nice relaxing bath in the enormous Jacuzzi tub, but decided instead to let sleep overtake her.  She dropped into bed, too tired to dream.

“I need you to find her,” Sam said sadly Monday morning.

Jake gripped the phone.  “What are you talking about?”

“Haley is missing,” Sam said breathlessly, racing up the steps from the hospital cafeteria.

“No, she’s not,” he said leaning back in his chair.

“Of course she is.  Why else would I be calling?”  Sam snapped.

Jake sighed.  “I walked into the office with her this morning.  We rode the same elevator, exited on the same floor.  Her hair looks great its natural color, by the way.”

Sam paused on the third landing.  “I don’t understand.”  He thought a minute, then froze. 

“Can you make sure she’s not just packing her desk?”

“Fine.  I’ll call you back.” 

“No,” Sam growled.  “I’ll have to call you.  You have an hour.”

“Is there any reason why you can’t just call her right now?”  He sighed.

Sam frowned.  “Yes.  I’m an ass.  I can’t talk to her.  I just want to know she’s all right, safe.”

“Great.  Hard to argue with that reasoning, especially when it’s so sound.”  Jake rolled his eyes.  “I‘ll be ready when you call.”

Jake walked down the hall, wondering what kind of excuse he could use to talk to Haley.  Hell, he was a man.  He could just ask her to lunch.  Of course, then Sam would rip his throat out.  Then again, that might just jar him into action, but only if she agreed to go.

He pushed open the outer office door slowly, so as not to startle her.  Haley was reclining in her chair, reading through some paper work.  She didn’t have any personal effects on her desk.  She didn’t have a box either.

“So, how are you?”  Jake asked slowly, testing the water.

Haley studied him a moment in a way that made him feel incredibly uncomfortable.  “I’m fine.  Why do you ask?”  Her eyes held a wary look.

“I was just wondering.”  He shifted for a moment, trying to decide how to proceed.  “My lunch date canceled on me, so I was going to ask Samuel to join me.”  He glanced over at the closed door.  “Is he in?”  Normally he could lie without an ounce of remorse; it was part of what made him such a great investigator.  Today, with Haley weighing him, it was unimaginably difficult.

She arched an eyebrow.  “No.  He’s with Adam at the hospital.”  She placed the papers on the desk and folded her hands.  “Yet, somehow I think you knew this.”

“Ouch,” he said, not even having to fake a wince.  “You’ve got me.”

“So what do you really want?”  She was irritable, not having slept well.  And she was so incredibly sad that she was likely to take out her frustrations on the first person to cross her path.  How unfortunate for him.

“Well, I was really hoping
you
would join me for lunch.”  He ran his hand through his hair.  “This is really not going at all like I planned.”

“Sorry to mess things up,” she said tartly.

He leaned over, laid his hands on the desk and smiled at her.  “I like my women saucy.”

She frowned, eyeing his hands.  “Funny.  Right now, I don’t like men at all.”

Jake quickly stood and gave her his most disarming smile.  “I don’t suppose we could call a truce long enough to eat lunch, could we?”

She sighed.  “And if I say ‘no’?”

“I’ll hound you mercilessly until you give in.”  He relaxed some, confident in the outcome even though she wasn’t softening.  “Obviously, something has you irritated today.  I’m a really great listener.  At least give it a chance.  You’ll get a free lunch out of the deal.”  His voice rose pleadingly.

“And what will you get?”  She asked with more than a hint of annoyance.