Ryan hated being called
honey
by someone who was almost the same age, but this was Texas and she was getting used to it. The pain around her mouth had grown with the swelling. She held her fingers to her lips as she spoke—as if that was going to help. “I was attacked.”
The nurse grabbed the blood pressure cuff and wrapped it around her bicep. “Does this hurt too much?”
Ryan shook her head. “Can I have some water?”
“Let’s get you examined first.” The nurse asked a jillion questions. Thank God her mom was able to answer most of them.
Ryan expected to be sent back to the waiting room, but Justin must have worked his magic, because instead she was ushered to an exam room. She’d barely settled on the exam bed when a guy wearing navy-blue scrubs and a white coat entered the room.
He stuck out his hand. “Hi. I’m Alan Hayes.”
“Justin’s dad.” Ryan had never seen the man, but felt relieved just knowing they had a common bond. He pulled latex gloves out of a box and moved close to her. “What happened?”
“Girls from school. They dumped dish soap on me in the courthouse fountain and scrubbed me with scouring pads.” Ryan felt like a loser just saying the words. How low a dreg do you have to be to be tortured with a scouring pad?
He examined her face. “It looks like your mouth got the worse of it, but you have some nasty abrasions. How would you rate your pain on a one to five scale?”
Emotionally? A ten.
“Five or six.”
“Let’s get you something for that, then.” His gaze flicked between her and her parents. “Are you planning to press charges?”
“No.” Ryan answered before her parents had a chance to speak. Her mom looked at her dad. Her dad bowed his head, but Ryan could see him working the muscles in his jaw. “I just want to get past this.”
Mr. Hayes pulled the gloves off his hands. “We’re going to treat this as an assault case. You might change your mind later. I’m going to have an advocate speak with you. Her name is Regina, and she’s a specially trained RN. She’s going to take pictures. She’s also going to take some scrapings from under your nails.” His forehead wrinkled with concern, but he spoke with a soothing tone.
“But I know the girls who did this.”
“It’s protocol. It’s not painful, it just takes a while. If you decide to press charges, we want to make sure we’ve gathered evidence. I’ll order some pain meds. Would you like some juice?”
“Grape would be nice.”
Ryan’s mom was at her side as soon as Mr. Hayes left the room. “Are you okay, sweetie?”
Ryan nodded. But the truth was, she didn’t know if she was or not. This was all so surreal. She figured she’d get some cream for her face and be on her way. She hadn’t expected them to go all
CSI
on her.
A nurse named Cayla brought her some grape juice and a couple of pain pills. She scanned her hospital bracelet and the pills. “These will probably make you a little sleepy and they could make you dizzy. Don’t get up without help.” The nurse watched Ryan swallow the pills. “It’ll be a few minutes before Regina gets here. Is there anything I can get you?”
Ryan tried the fingers against the lips thing again to speak. “Can I have a wet cloth for my lips? And can my sisters and friends come in?”
“I’ll ask Alan about the cloth. You can have visitors until Regina gets here.”
Ryan looked at her mom. “Will you tell them to come back?”
“Sure.” She followed the nurse out of the room.
Ryan’s dad turned his back to her and placed his hands on the counter. His shoulders shook. At first she wasn’t sure what was happening—until she heard a sob escape.
She jumped off the bed and put her arm around him. “Daddy, I’m okay.”
Her dad sucked in a deep breath and turned to hug her. He didn’t say anything, just held her. After a few seconds he released her. “This shouldn’t have happened. This is supposed to be a safe place.” He shook his head and squeezed her to him. “I’m going to make this right.”
Good grief. She was the one who’d screwed up—literally—and he was still blaming himself and trying to protect her. She hadn’t done a lot to make her family proud of her. In fact, she’d done nothing. But that was somehow, some way, going to change.
She pulled away. “No, Dad.
I’m
going to make it right.” She was sure he didn’t get that they were talking about two different things. It didn’t matter. Talk was just that. Changing her reputation wasn’t just about joining some stupid club.
She
was going to change.
She heard Kelsey’s voice outside the room and was glad to have company to relieve the tension. The curtain whooshed back and Cayla entered the room carrying large and small IV bags.
Ryan’s stomach knotted. “That’s not for me.”
Cayla smiled. “’fraid it is. Alan wants you to have some antibiotics.”
Ryan climbed back on the exam bed.
As if on cue, Mr. Hayes returned. “Sorry. I talked to our attending physician, Dr. Mays. You have quite a few abrasions. These things tend to get infected, so we’d like to nip it in the bud with some IV antibiotics. And it wouldn’t hurt to give you a little fluid. We’ll send you home on oral antibiotics.” He turned to her dad. “I think it’d be a good idea for her to see a dermatologist. I can refer you to a good one in Dallas.”
“Okay. Think we can get a fast pass to be seen?”
“I’ll do my best. I’m a little worried about the skin around her mouth.”
Ryan’s heart sped up despite the pain pill that was making her woozy. “Will I scar?”
“We’re going to try to avoid it.” Mr. Hayes patted her shoulder. “I don’t know who did this to you, but think seriously about whether you want them to get away with it.”
Cayla opened a tub of gauze sponges and poured sterile water over the top. With gloved hands, she wrung out a gauze square and handed it to Ryan. “See how this feels on your skin.”
Ryan placed the square on her mouth and sighed. She would have told her it was like heaven, but the pills were making her groggy. She lay back on the bed and tried to keep her eyes open. “Where are Kelsey and Kenzie?”
Kelsey stuck her head in the room. “We’re just outside.”
Cayla put on a fresh pair of gloves. “As soon as I get this IV started, they can come in.”
Ryan nodded and closed her eyes. She felt the nurse clean her arm and then pain as she introduced the IV. But before she could register enough to open her eyes, the nurse said, “All done.”
Instantly the room was filled with her parents, sisters, Austin, and Justin. She forced her eyes open and focused on Justin. The bottoms of his suit pants were still rolled to mid-calf and he was sockless in his loafers. His dress shirt was untucked and the sleeves rolled halfway up his forearms. He had deep circles under his eyes. But he still looked dang hot. She stretched her un-IV’d arm to him. He took her hand and moved close to her. She crooked her finger and he leaned in. “You look goofy.”
He laughed. “Goofy? Hey, I’m a trendsetter.”
She squeezed his hand. “Thanks for saving me. I’m gonna call you Sir Goofy cuz you’re my knight in shining armor.”
Kelsey leaned over her. “What did you say?”
Ryan looked at her sister and shrugged.
Justin held tight to her hand. “I think she’s a little high.”
Nervous laughter filtered through the room, soothing Ryan. She was safe, surrounded by her protectors. She let herself drift in and out of sleep until she heard the curtain scrape along the track. The room got eerily quiet and she opened her eyes.
Mr. Hayes entered with a large pale woman with a salt-and-pepper braid trailing down her back. “This is Regina.”
“Hi. I’m sorry it took so long to get here. There was a train.” She looked at everybody in the room before focusing her smile on Ryan. “How are you feeling? I understand you’ve had something for pain.”
Ryan nodded. “Better.”
Regina looked her over. “Good. Are these the clothes you had on?”
“No. I was in a Homecoming gown.”
Regina turned to her mom. “Don’t wash them. Put them a large zip-top bag and seal it.” To Ryan she said, “Have you showered?”
“No.”
“Good.”
Mr. Hayes said, “While Regina gets her part ready, I’ve asked Dr. Cooper to consult. He’s a plastic surgeon who is here on another case.” He looked at Ryan’s parents. “I’d just feel better if he took a look at her mouth.”
Her dad said, “Whatever we need to do.”
“Okay. It’s going to take me a few minutes to get ready.” Regina looked around the room. “I’ll ask everybody to leave during the exam. As soon as we finish, you can all come back in.”
Ryan’s throat closed. “Can my mom stay?”
“I’ll need to ask some questions first. Then she can come in.”
Do they think my parents did this? Or that I was raped?
Regina left the room and Dr. Cooper came in. Justin tried to release her hand and move away, but she tightened her grip. He was able to stand to the side and out of the doctor’s way.
Dr. Cooper gloved his hands and touched the places that hurt the most with pinpoint precision. With each poke, pull, and pat, Ryan squeezed Justin’s hand tighter.
When Dr. Cooper was satisfied he’d tortured her enough, he stepped back and removed his gloves. He turned to her parents. “It’s hard to tell the extent of the damage until the swelling goes down. The lip is a concern. I’m afraid some of these abrasions will leave scars.” Then he spoke to Ryan. “The important thing is to protect that skin. No sun, no makeup. I’ll write a prescription for some cream.” To her parents he said, “I’m here once a week. I’d like to see her either here or in my Dallas office in about a week.”
Anger burned in Ryan.
Those bitches left me with a mangled face.
Tears threatened, but she’d be damned if she’d cry. She would not let them win. That meant no tears, no pity, no hiding away.
Dr. Cooper shook Ryan’s hand and pointed to Justin. “And who is this?”
Justin let go of her hand and stuck his out. “Justin Hayes.”
Dr. Cooper shook his hand and smiled. “Kin to Alan?”
Justin nodded. “He’s my dad.”
“Ah. Then Ryan is in good hands.” He shook Ryan’s parents’ hands and left the room.
Regina returned and shooed everybody to the waiting room. Ryan thought she’d be more nervous, but whether it was the pain pills, exhaustion, or Regina’s calm demeanor, she wasn’t sure. It wasn’t as bad as she’d imagined. Almost the first question out of Regina’s mouth was whether she’d been sexually assaulted.
Ryan almost laughed. She assured her there was nothing sexual about it. The second question was whether it had been Justin, the third about her family. When she had assured Regina that it was nothing as heinous as that, she allowed her mom back into the room. Regina took scrapings from beneath her nails, clipped them, and meticulously placed each item in a bag, labeled and sealed. When she’d finished gathering physical evidence, she held Ryan’s hands. “This has been traumatic. You may not realize it now, but it’s bound to affect you. We have counseling available. Even if you decide not to press charges, you need to tell someone who did this to you.”
Ryan started to tell her that she’d already done that, but Regina was on a roll.
“I’m going to give you my card. It has my cell phone number on it. There are three of us who are certified Sexual Assault Nurse Examiners. I know you weren’t sexually assaulted, but you were assaulted. If at any time you need to talk, you call. There is one more thing.”
Ryan was ready for this to be over with.
“Even though you are not going to press charges now, a police officer would like to ask you a few questions. It’s important that she takes a statement in case you change your mind.”
Ryan nodded and Regina released her hands.
By the time everybody had asked their questions and examined her, Ryan was sure she was not going to press charges. She’d had enough. It was after lunch when they walked out of the hospital, and she hadn’t slept in over twenty-four hours. She just wanted to get home, shower, and crash.
She watched Justin walk to Austin’s truck. There was something about his casual gait that made her smile. She’d never thought about how anybody walked before and wasn’t sure why his counted—but it did. Or maybe she was just too crazy tired to make sense.
Austin and Kelsey were ahead of Justin. Kelsey opened the back door of the truck and called, “Come on, Sir Goofy.”
He smiled and jogged the rest of the way to the truck and Ryan wanted to hide forever. Had she really called him Sir Goofy?
Yes. And I held his hand like he was my boyfriend.
Surely he knew she was just drugged out. This whole boyfriend thing wasn’t happening.
Because that was the last thing she needed. No way. No how.
When they got home, Ryan’s mom convinced Justin to crash on the couch for a few hours. Ryan dragged her bones to bed. When her mom woke her up, she felt like she’d just lain down. It was time to get the two o’clock meeting over with so she could crash for a year or two.
She wasn’t about to wait for the PC in the den like a sideshow freak. Instead, she sat halfway up the stairs. Justin sat next to her and Kelsey, Austin, and Mackenzie sat behind her. It was the perfect vantage point from which to see and hear everything happening in the den without being noticed.
Mr. and Mrs. Brown and Macey were the first to arrive. Mrs. Brown handed Ryan’s backpack and purse to Ryan’s mom. Macey stood between her parents looking all confused and innocent. Ryan wanted to take a pad to her face—that’d take care of that look. Carle Davis and Katie McDonald showed with their moms. Christy Kaufman’s dad came with her. Jessica Stern didn’t show at all. At least the other girls had the decency to look scared.
Jeez. Does Macey really think she’s going to get away with what she did?
When her dad invited everybody to sit, Ryan’s stomach tightened. Her mom sat in a high-backed wing chair looking like a woman who did not want to be messed with.
Her dad walked around the room and stopped in front of each of the girls. Even from where Ryan sat, she could feel his gaze bore into them as he asked one by one, “Do you know why you’re here?”
They all said yes. Before he’d made it around the room, Katie McDonald spilled tears. After he asked each of the girls his question, he straightened and said, “We’re clear that the girls all know why they are here.” He paused and looked around the room again. “Your daughters assaulted Ryan and I’m here to tell you, something is going to be done about it or we will press charges.”
Mrs. Brown smiled at Macey, sandwiched between her and her husband on the sofa. “Assault?”
Macey managed to maintain that lying smile, but her eyes told the truth. She was scared shitless. “We didn’t mean anything. We were just having a little fun.”
Heat rose in Ryan’s cheeks.
A little fun? Is that what you call nearly killing someone?
Her dad stepped closer to the sofa. “You didn’t mean anything? Tell your parents what you did. Let them judge how much
fun
it was.”
Carle sobbed. “She made us do it. It was all Macey’s fault.”
Mrs. Brown’s lips twitched. “My daughter does not control anybody.”
Mr. Kaufman leaned forward in his chair and steepled his fingers. “What exactly are you accusing the girls of doing?”
Ryan waited for her dad to tell them, but he paused. Tension built in the room. He looked at the floor and cleared his throat before looking Mr. Kaufman in the eyes. “They held her down in the courthouse fountain and scrubbed her skin raw with scouring pads.”
Mrs. Brown stood and faced Ryan’s dad. “Raw? Really, Tom, they were just having fun. We’ve all had club initiations. They didn’t intend to hurt anyone.” It was all Ryan could do to keep from running down the stairs. But her dad was handling it. Then Mrs. Brown turned toward her mom and worked her neck as though she were scolding her. “You should know that your daughter left the fountain with a boy. She left with Justin Hayes.”
Ryan’s mom barely acknowledged the comment. “We’re hear to discuss the assault on my daughter.”
Mrs. Brown huffed and looked down at Macey. “Did you assault Ryan?”
“It was an initiation.”
Mrs. Brown turned dramatically around the room. “See. There was no assault. Macey wouldn’t lie. Our family is built on God’s word.”
Anger flooded Ryan. “That’s it.” She bolted downstairs. As soon as she entered the room, everybody stood. She strode up to Mrs. Brown and pulled the sleeves of her shirt up. She tilted her face toward her and said, “This is what they did to me. Macey sat on top of me and did this to my face. The other girls held me down and went after my arms and legs.”
She’d barely gotten the words out when Mr. Brown slapped Macey so hard it knocked her flat onto the sofa.
Mrs. Brown turned toward her daughter sprawled on the couch and covered her mouth. Tears filled her eyes.
The whole room stood still. Everybody was too shocked to breathe. Mr. Brown glared at his wife. “She’s no better than you.” He turned and walked out of the house.
Mrs. Brown lowered herself to the sofa and pulled a crying Macey into her arms while everybody just stared.
Kelsey jogged down the stairs into the room. “This isn’t about Macey.” She looked at the red mark on her face. “I’m sorry that happened to you, but look what you did to Ryan. Jesus, if Justin hadn’t come along…”
Macey looked at Ryan’s dad. “You don’t understand. We were cleansing her of her sins. She needed to be purified. We were only trying to save her soul.”
The room echoed with sniffles. All of the PC girls had broken down. Mrs. Brown was the only parent who looked like she had any sympathy for the girls.
Ryan’s mom glared at Macey. “No. You were bullying her. There is no excuse for what you did.” She stood and walked close to Macey. “The question is, who is going to cleanse you of
your
sins?”
Macey looked at Ryan. “Forgive me?”
“I saw pure evil in your eyes. You enjoyed the power you had over me. You need serious help.”
Mrs. Brown put her arm around Macey. “How dare you?”
Ryan backed away and sat on the fireplace hearth. Justin took a seat on one side of her and Kelsey the other. Austin and Mackenzie stood at the bottom of the stairs. Ryan had never seen her mom like this—she was so angry her lips trembled. When she spoke, her voice was dry, the words staccato. “We… spent… half the morning… in the ED. This… is serious. Her face will be scarred. She might have to have plastic surgery.”
Mrs. McDonald swiped tears from her eyes. “I’m sorry this happened. Thank you for not taking this to the police. I’m not sure I’d have been so generous.”
Ryan’s dad nodded toward her and said, “I’m not the one who’s generous.”
Ryan looked around the room. How could she have thought these girls were her friends?
Carle looked at her. “I’m sooo sorry, Ryan. Please forgive us.”
Ryan couldn’t answer. She wasn’t ready to forgive.
Her dad spoke to the room again. “Monday, I will have a meeting with the principal. I’m expecting the club to be disbanded.”
Mr. Kaufman rose. “I can’t apologize enough for what happened. Christy will take full responsibility for her part in all of this. We will pay for whatever medical bills you incur. You do what you have to do, and if that includes pressing assault charges, she’ll accept the consequences.”
Mrs. McDonald stood too. “I feel the same way. Katie will accept whatever you decide and of course we’ll help pay the medical bills.”
Katie sobbed into her hands. “I’m sorry. I wish we could reset last night.”
Mrs. Davis agreed with the other parents and everyone apologized to Ryan.
Everyone except Macey and her mom. They stood too. Mrs. Brown looked around the room. “We don’t have a ride.” She locked eyes on Carle’s mom. “Will you give us a ride?”
Mrs. Davis looked down and ignored the question.
“Will anybody give us a ride?” The rest of the room remained quiet. “But how will we get home?”
The air grew thick. Until Ryan’s mom said, “Walk. Think of it as a pilgrimage. A soul cleansing, if you will.”
Mrs. Brown and Macey walked out the door with their heads bowed.
Mr. Kaufman handed Ryan’s dad a card. “Keep me informed about the treatment for Ryan.” He shook his head. “These are all good girls. I don’t understand how they got it in their heads to do such a thing.” He put his hand on Christy’s shoulder. “Come on. We have some talking to do.”
The girls and their parents filed out of the house like a funeral procession, but Ryan didn’t feel as though anything had been put to rest. So their parents had offered to pay her medical bills. Their world would go on.
She was disfigured.
*
Two days ago, if anybody had told Justin he’d be accepting a ride home from Austin McCoy, he’d have said they were crazy—just being in the same room with the guy made him want to punch something. But two days ago, Ryan Quinn hadn’t rocked his world.
As soon as they pulled onto the highway, Austin started in on him. “I don’t know what’s up with you and Ryan, but if you hurt her I’ll bash your freaking brains in.”
If Justin’s head hadn’t been doing that trying-to-stay-awake bob, he’d have had a decent comeback. As it was, Austin’s words barely penetrated the brain fog. So he just gave a thumbs-up sign.
He wasn’t conscious again until Austin pulled into his drive. “Thanks for the ride, man.”
“I did it because Kelsey asked me to.”
Justin got out of the truck and rubbed his hands over his face to wake up enough to make it into the house and to his bed. As he walked up the sidewalk to the door, his heart sank. The house was dark. It was after four in afternoon
and the house was dark
.
He opened the door and the weight of exhaustion tripled.
Shit.
He kicked off his loafers and padded down the hall to the bedrooms. But he didn’t go into his room and fall into bed. He couldn’t. He had to take care of her first.
“Mom?” He knocked on the door before pushing it open. The room was darker than the rest of the house. He knelt next to the bed. “Hey, are you okay?”
Of course she’s not okay. Why else would she be in bed on a Saturday afternoon?
The covers had been pulled over her head to shut out any light that might have seeped through the closed blinds and curtains. Her thin hand reached out from under the bedspread and touched his arm.
He uncovered her head and stroked her hair. “Can I get you anything?” Conflicted feelings churned in his gut. His mom couldn’t help her depression. But he was exhausted. And just once, he wanted to come home and find his mom the way she’d been before the accident.
“No. I’m sorry, Justin. It’s been a dark day.” Tears ran down her cheeks and onto her pillow. “I haven’t thought about dinner.”
“It’s okay, Mom, I’ll do it.”
Again.
“I’m not much of a mom anymore.” She dabbed her eyes with what was left of the wadded-up tissue she held.
“Don’t say that.” He handed her a fresh tissue. “Have you eaten anything today?”
She didn’t answer.
“Come on. Let’s get some food inside you.” He helped her sit up and grabbed her robe off the end of the bed. “Have you talked to Dad?” She shook her head and allowed him to help her with her robe. “Let’s move to the den.” She leaned on him as he led her to the den and then plopped onto the sofa as if the walk down the hall had taken the last bit of her energy. He was tempted to join her. Just flop down on the couch, sit in the dark, and rest. But knew he couldn’t. No matter how tired he was, he had to take care of her.
He pulled open the vertical blinds covering the sliding patio door. Light poured into the den and kitchen. His mom flinched.
“What do you want to eat?”
“Maybe some crackers. I’m not hungry.”
He dug his keys and wallet out of his slacks and tossed them on the eating bar that separated the kitchen from the den. “How about a salad? You like salads.” He riffled through the refrigerator and found an anemic-looking head of lettuce and a squishy tomato. She hadn’t been to the store in a while, and he’d been so busy with school and football practice that he hadn’t noticed.
He pulled his cell phone from his pocket and called his dad. “Hey, I just got home. Are you working late?”
“Dark day?”
“It’s bad. I got her to the den. Dad, there’s nothing to eat. Can you pick something up?”
“Sorry, son. I’m working until eleven.”
“Don’t worry about it.” He hung up and tore the pale lettuce into a bowl. It felt good to shred the pieces, but not good enough. As tired as he was, he wished he had something to hit—hard. This was not supposed to be his life. He shouldn’t be taking care of his mom. It wasn’t like his dad was too dense to see that she was in a severe depression. Anger surged at his dad for not insisting she get help.
“Was that Dad?”
“Yes. He’s working until eleven. Do you want me to bring your salad to you?”
“No. I’ll come there.” She got up and moved to the eating bar.
Good, maybe she was coming out of it.
He chopped the tomato into her bowl, squirted some ranch dressing on top, and pushed it in front of her.
“Are you wearing your suit?”
“Yeah, I just got home from the dance.”
She nodded and let out a long sigh. “Eric is a good kid—good family.”
Yeah, a good kid. Except he screwed Chelsea and dumped her.
He wanted to tell her about the fight, about rescuing Ryan from the fountain, and the drama at the Quinn house afterward. But the mother he could share those things with had died along with his sister.
Tears rolled down her cheeks. “I can’t erase the image of her lying there, cold and all alone.”
“Think of something else, Mom. I’ll get some crackers for your salad.” He placed a roll of crackers next to her plate and poured some ginger ale into a glass. There was no point trying to stop her—he’d been through this countless times. It was always this way when she was having a dark day. But he had to try.
“Eat some salad.”
“I was house shift manager that day. I had to go to the ER. Careflight was on the way and they called in extra people to work. Both trauma bays were full and the third girl was taken to room eight.”
He felt his chest tighten. He hated this part of the story. “Mom, it was horrible, but it’s done. Please, eat some crackers.”
“I saw her there, Justin. All alone.”
“Mom, they didn’t know who she was.”
“It didn’t matter—she shouldn’t have been alone.” His mother’s tone turned angry.
“She was gone, Mom. They were trying to save the other two.”
She shoved the bowl across the counter toward Justin. It dropped off the end and clattered into the sink below. “They should have tried to save her.”
He rounded the counter and placed his hands on her shoulders. “She was gone by the time they got there. You know there was nothing anybody could do. You have to let it go. We can’t fix this.”