Hero at Large (13 page)

 

Bitsy pulled up to the curb and looked at Chris expectantly. “This is it, folks.”

Chris stared at her town house. “Are we here already? I don't suppose you'd want to drive around the block three or four hundred times?”

“I assume you have a problem?”

“Boy, have I got a problem.” She held up her finger. “Look at this. What am I going to do with this? You know what this says? Engaged. Engaged. Engaged. You can't miss it. It's enormous.” She pulled her mitten over the diamond. “Maybe if I leave my mitten on…”

“Yeah, that would help, but it's going to be hard holding a fork. If you're that bummed out why don't you just give the ring back?”

Chris sighed and sank lower in her seat. “I can't,” she wailed. “I love this ring. And I'm ridiculously
in love with Ken What's-his-name.” She punched the dashboard. “And I hate him. The creep.”

“This is complicated.”

“The real problem is Edna and Lucy. I don't want them getting all excited about this. I'm not sure what I'm going to do, yet.”

“Then why don't you tell them that you're engaged, but that you're not planning to get married for a long, long time…maybe never.”

Chris nodded solemnly. “That sounds good.” She got out of the car. “I'll go with that one.”

Chris opened the door and nodded a grim hello. She hung her coat in the hall closet, looked down at her mittened hands, sighed, and resolutely pulled the rag wool mittens off.

Edna saw it immediately. She put her hand to her mouth and gasped. “My stars! Well, for goodness' sake.”

Chris pasted her best professional smile on her face. “Yes, I'm engaged. Your dreams have come true, Aunt Edna.” She saw a fleeting glimpse of emotion cloud Ken's eyes. Hurt? She'd said it with unmistakable bitterness.
Hell, the man isn't stupid,
she thought.
And he isn't insensitive, either.
Chris lowered her eyes to the beautiful ring and whispered, “…and my dreams, too.” She was immediately horrified at the admission. Why had she
said that? But she knew the answer. Partly because it was true, and partly because she didn't want to hurt Ken. She wanted to make him miserable…but she didn't want to hurt him.

“It's beautiful,” Edna clucked over the ring. “It's just about the nicest ring I've ever seen. And it's big. It's bigger than the diamond Margaret Kulesza got when she married that weasel-faced mortician back home in South River.” Edna shook her head. “Such a to-do over that scrawny undertaker. The man couldn't even do a decent job of laying-out. Picked out terrible ties. And had a real heavy hand with the rouge. I don't like that. I like when they lay you out to look natural.” She turned to Ken. “What do you think? Don't you just hate to see a phony-looking stiff?”

“Yeah, now that you mention it…” He turned to Chris and mouthed “help!”

Edna ushered them into the kitchen. She took the wooden spoon to a pot of bubbling stew. “So, when's the big day?” She ground a touch of fresh pepper into the pot and continued stirring. “We could have the wedding right here. Or would you want a church wedding? And a dress…you have to get a dress. I think ivory would look nice—you look good in ivory, Chris. You can't wear white, of course, but ivory would be okay.”

“Actually, we haven't set a date,” Chris said, shifting her weight from one foot to the other and avoiding Ken's eyes. “It could be a long engagement—really long. Maybe we won't ever get married. Maybe we'll just be engaged for a long time, and then…”

Edna looked at her as if she were crazy. “Lord, being engaged makes you silly. Why the devil are you rambling on so? And you don't want to wait too long. A Christmas wedding would be good; the house could be decorated with garlands and bows. I always wanted to have a Christmas wedding, myself. I was a June bride, but if I ever marry again it will be a Christmas wedding.”

She was losing control of the conversation…correction—she'd never had control of the conversation. Edna wasn't even listening to her…no one ever listened to her…

Edna stirred more vigorously. The gravy slopped over the edge of the pot and small cubes of potato were ground into mushy oblivion as Edna became increasingly excited. “We don't need a caterer. I could do it all. Little meatballs, and we could slice up a nice big roast beef. We'll order the cake. I know a lady up the street that does wonderful cakes.”

Chris looked to Ken for help.

“I think it sounds great. Maybe we could feed them the turkey leftovers.”

Oh swell. The man-of-a-thousand-names thinks it sounds great. She could just see them standing at the altar, and he says…“Oh, by the way, there's something I have to tell you.”

Edna waved the spoon at Chris. “You haven't said much about all of this. Would you rather have turkey? What do you think? Roast beef or turkey?”

“I'm not doing anything until after Nationals in January. I'm not interested in dresses or meatballs or instant marriages.”

“Hmmph,” Edna grunted, lips compressed.

“Hmmmph, yourself,” Chris teased good-naturedly. She peered over Edna's shoulder into the stew pot. “This smells terrific. Let's eat.”

Ken cut himself a wedge of fresh-baked bread and ladled a generous portion of stew onto his plate. “I have a few announcements of my own. I'm afraid it's necessary for me to go back to work.”

“That's good,” Edna exclaimed. “A man with a family needs a paycheck coming in regular.”

Chris felt the anger sweep back over her.
He's making a fool out of you, Edna,
she wanted to scream.
According to the magazine article he has enough money to last him a lifetime.

Ken pushed chunks of meat around on his plate as if they were chess pieces. He was clearly a man with something on his mind. There was a grim set to his mouth that reminded Chris of the magazine photograph. She felt a stab of remorseful panic, knowing that Ken Callahan was living on borrowed time—that someday soon Kenneth Knight would emerge, and she didn't think she would like him. Ken looked up. His eyes held hers for a moment, and she knew he would wait. Ken Callahan had received a reprieve.

Chris breathed an audible sigh of relief and was shocked at her reaction. She actually wanted this man to continue the deception.
This will never do,
she told herself sternly.
You are living in a make-believe world. You are in love with a man who does not exist.

Ken leaned across the table. “I know I'm in big trouble. The expression on your face just went from breathless expectation to blind panic to total relief. Then there was a brief look of love that made my stomach flip, and it was instantly replaced with the promise of a personality that could be a cross between Jack the Ripper and Mata Hari.”

“Funny thing, I thought I detected a few character changes going on behind those deep blue eyes of yours, too.”

He studied her with guarded curiosity.

Edna cleared her throat and rapped her fork against her water glass. “What are you two whispering about? Don't you know it's rude to whisper? I can't hear a blasted thing you're saying.”

 

Chris grunted in exasperation and looked at her clock for the hundredth time. One-thirty. Everyone was asleep but her. She thrashed to her side and smashed her face into the pillow. She was so mad she could barely breathe. Ken had spent the night being as nice as pie, reading to Lucy and joking with Edna. How could he be such a phony? Chris fumed. How dare he pretend everything was just wonderful. A man like that should be taught a lesson.

Chris threw the covers off with a vicious sweep of her hand. “He's just leading us on,” she hissed. “If he wants to see leading on…I'll show him leading on!” She stomped to her bureau and searched through her lingerie drawer. Nothing here but flannel nightgowns and thermal underwear, she dismally concluded. Nothing black and depraved. Nothing diaphanous and enticing. Everything she owned was warm!

She dropped her best white flannel nightshirt over her bare shoulders and placed a dot of Chanel
at the base of her throat. She considered her image for a moment, mumbled “Oh, blast,” and splashed a smattering of perfume on the inside of each thigh. She combed her hair until it was a shining cloud of golden waves and applied eye-shadow over a heavy smudge of black liner. She carefully brushed on a liberal amount of black mascara. “Better,” she smirked at her reflection. She smoothed dark red glossy lipstick across her lips and pouted for effect. Yes, she decided, this should do it. She wrapped her velour robe around herself and with a fiendish grin set her alarm for two-fifteen. Ken Callahan needed a jolt. Something to  get him thinking. He didn't deserve to sleep soundly while she was in such agony.

There were no lights shining under Ken's door. Chris listened for a moment but heard no sound. Carefully, she opened the door and allowed her eyes to adjust to the darkness of the room. Ken slept on his back, one bare arm thrown overhead, resting on his pillow, the other arm palm down at his side. There was no innocence to his sleeping form. Thick black lashes formed an arc against skin that seemed permanently tan. His mouth was soft and sensuous within the sinister close-cropped beard. Black hair spilled over his forehead to meet a slash of black brow. The strong
column of his throat led to broad shoulders and a well-muscled chest that made Chris shiver with the knowledge of his latent power.

For a moment she quailed under his impact, frightened by the force of his virility. She dredged some of her previous anger to the surface.
Don't be a wimp,
she told herself.
Chin up. Bust out. Courage.
She took a deep breath and closed the door behind her. Quietly she lit the candles in the wooden wall sconces and dropped her robe to the floor. She stood a foot from the bed. The curve of her breasts and thighs glowed golden under the flickering candlelight. “Ken,” she called softly. He stirred in his bed. His eyes opened lazily. She stood motionless, watching the drowse of sleep leave him. He held his arms out to her, as if this were expected and natural…as if she belonged in the warm comfort of his bed.

“I've come to seduce you,” she said huskily, moving toward him.
And then I'm going to leave you hanging!
she added silently.
Revenge is a shabby emotion…and I'm going to enjoy every ignoble minute of it.

“Mmmm,” he murmured thickly. “I'm glad. It's lonely in my bed without you. I fell asleep wanting you.”

Chris felt the anger being diffused with more
gentle emotions. He always managed to say just the right thing in just the right tone. She sighed. And those trustingly vulnerable dark blue eyes were her undoing. Why had she ever thought she could pull this off? Sheets rustled as he sat up, revealing a lean naked torso that seemed bronzed by firelight. His fingertips touched hers, then moved to caress the length of silken thigh that had been placed so tantalizingly close. Chris heard his breath catch in his throat.

“Chris,” he whispered almost painfully. “You're so beautiful.”

The world rocked around Chris at the touch of his lips. It didn't matter who he was. He was the wind that rushed past her window on a moonlit night. He was the sun that burned its brand into her skin on a summer day. He could kiss a scraped knee and make it better. He could tell a terrible joke and make it seem funny. And he was passion. One heart. One soul. One need. They raised each other higher than any one being could ever go alone and hung suspended in time for a precious moment savoring the black, mindless ecstasy found only at the brink of sated desire.

Afterward, they clung together like two victims of a shipwreck, dazed at the joy of being alive and together on a peaceful beach. Ken held
her close and brushed damp hair from her temple. “Wow,” he said, his voice shaky, still hoarse with emotion.

“Wow, yourself,” Chris giggled. “I don't know how I'm going to get back to my bedroom. I don't think my legs will support me.”

“Stay with me.”

“I can't. I don't want to set a bad example for Lucy.” She glanced at his clock. In four minutes her alarm would be going off! She leaped out of bed and struggled into her bathrobe. “I have to go. It's been really nice,” she called over her shoulder as she rushed from the room, feeling like Cinderella about to turn into a pumpkin. She took the stairs two at a time, marveling at what reserves of strength she could muster in an emergency. She hurtled herself across her room and slapped her palm on the off button just seconds before the digital clock clicked to two-fifteen. She flopped onto her bed with her hand over her pounding heart, waiting for her breathing to normalize.

A tear slid down Chris' cheek at the realization of what had just happened—at the realization of the depth of her love and the hopelessness of the relationship. A debilitating lethargy radiated from her chest. She wanted to sleep until the pain was all gone and Ken Callahan was a distant memory.
But first she would have to put an end to the relationship. To let things continue wasn't fair to anyone. And she didn't like herself, anymore. She had no willpower. No scruples. No pride.

Tomorrow,
she thought.
Tomorrow I'll find a way to end it.

Ken sipped at his coffee and studied the financial section of the
Post.

“Do all carpenters read the Dow-Jones so avidly?” Chris asked.

“I have a few stocks.” He laid the paper aside and buttered a waffle. “What does your schedule look like today? Do you have any time for some Saturday fun?”

“My first lesson is at two o'clock.” She chewed her toast thoughtfully. “I thought maybe we could take a ride out to Loudoun County and visit your monster dog. You could show me this place where you stay sometimes.”

There was a flicker of surprise behind the dark blue eyes. He raised his eyebrows at her in silent question, but—although she winced inwardly at the tightening of his mouth—she kept her face emotionless. She wondered if it was Kenneth
Knight who studied her coolly then drained his coffee cup before answering.

“Good idea. It's nine-thirty. If we leave now we'll have plenty of time. Darby Hills is just outside of Middleburg.”

“Darby Hills?”

“Yeah. That's the name of this place. People give their houses names out there.”

“Did you name it Darby Hills?”

“I told you it's just a place I stay sometimes. It came with the name just like it came with the furniture and all the damn azaleas.”

Chris had to smile in spite of herself. “You don't like azaleas?”

“I'm allergic to them.”

“Do you own this house?”

He nodded his head, yes, while he carried his dishes to the kitchen.

“Then why don't you just get rid of the azaleas?”

He rolled his eyes. “We're not talking a few azaleas. This place is packed with them. And besides I'd feel like a murderer.”

Chris helped him load the dishwasher. “Why on earth did you buy a place you so obviously dislike?”

“I don't know. It just didn't turn out to be what I'd expected.”

Boy,
she thought,
I can relate to that.

 

The ride to Middleburg was awkwardly quiet. Suburban towns of Fairfax and Chantilly gave way to frozen fields and spindle trees, their branches pressed against brilliant blue sky like fine French lace. The highway narrowed as it approached Middleburg, and Chris turned her attention to the venerable houses that lined the road. Chris liked Middleburg. It was a town that had absorbed civilization slowly. It had been spared the plastic tract houses and overdevelopment of its neighbor, Fairfax County, because it was too far from downtown D.C. to be a comfortable commute. The golden arches hadn't found Middleburg. Its shops reflected the surrounding wealth. There were saddleries, and Williamsburg-style taverns, and tweedy clothing stores. A lone supermarket hunkered at the back of its parking lot, looking awkward in its bleak brick and glass facade. The small town ended abruptly. Ken followed the black road for a few miles and then turned northwest, giving Chris a view of the Appalachians. After living most of her  life under the shadow of the Rockies, Chris
wondered how these gently rolling hills could even be considered mountains. She watched grimly as the fields turned manicured; they were in hunt country now. Every now and then a huge estate could be glimpsed among stables and boxwoods, set far back from the road.

She had decided that she would be fair. Maybe the magazine had exaggerated. Maybe he really was a simple carpenter with his own little construction company. She would give him a chance to explain.

Ken turned the truck into a private drive. After a half mile they approached an electronic gate. Ken took a small box from the glove compartment and pushed a button. The gate swung open. Chris read the name on the gold plaque. “Darby Hills.”

“Afraid so.”

This was going to be hard to explain. This was going to be opulence. Freshly painted white board fence enclosed pastureland on either side of the drive. “There are cows here,” she said, dully. “You have cows in your front lawn?”

“Steers, actually. And there aren't very many of them.” He sounded apologetic. “I suppose there are a few hundred. I don't even know why I have the blasted things. I think we eat them once in a while.”

Chris folded her hands in her lap and stared straight ahead. She didn't want opulence. Maybe other women wanted Prince Charming, but Chris wanted the frog. You could come home to a frog and count on his being there. Frogs were dependable. The truck slowed at a large, beautifully landscaped stone house. The house was cozy and not terribly intimidating. “Is this your house?” she asked hopefully.

“No.”

There was a touch of exasperation to her voice. “Well? Whose house is it?”

A muscle twitched in his jaw. “This is Henry's house. Henry's sort of a caretaker.” He thrust his chin out pugnaciously. “My house is just past that copse of evergreens.”

Oh boy,
she thought.
This must be one pip of a house.
She steeled herself as they passed through the evergreens. Sunlight broke overhead and illuminated the enormous Georgian country house that dwarfed the top of a small hill. “Holy cow,” Chris breathed. In her wildest dreams she had never imagined anything like this.

“It just looks big. It's actually a lot smaller inside.” He drove along the circular drive and parked at the door, his eyes fixed firmly on the house.

Chris kept her hands clenched in her lap. Ken
Callahan was gone. He'd been lost somewhere en route to Darby Hills and would never be seen again. And she was left with Kenneth Knight—a stranger. She searched for something to say—something that would hide the sudden feeling of awkwardness. “This is…big. Bigger than Mount Vernon.” She spread her arms in disbelief. “This is bigger than Mount Rainier.”

Ken sighed and turned to her. His eyes roamed her face for a clue to her feelings. “I suppose you've guessed I'm not just a carpenter?”

Chris felt guilty at her hidden knowledge. She nodded her head and swallowed against the lump in her throat. When she finally answered her voice sounded strangely thin. “Actually, Bitsy recognized you from the cover of
Newsweek.
”

He stared at her wordlessly, absorbing the impact of her admission. A flicker of anger passed across narrowed eyes and was instantly hidden behind a controlled mask. He stroked his beard. “I thought I was disguised.”

“Why did you lie to me?” Have a good reason, Chris silently pleaded. Something solvable—like amnesia, or drugs, or problems with the police.

He flicked at the keys dangling from the ignition. “I guess it started out as a lark. It was obvious you thought I was a bum, and at the time it seemed
like it would be fun to be a bum.” He smiled ruefully. “I haven't had much fun lately…until I met you. For the past six months I've been trying to straighten out my business…my life. I had a business partner who expanded a small construction firm into a multinational corporation and bred graft and corruption everywhere he went. It took me three years before I could nail him on embezzlement and force him to sell out. For the last six months I've been rooting through every company we control, reorganizing and firing. When you broke down on the highway in front of me I was on my way to ax a man I had always considered to be a good friend. I've had a three-week vacation, and now I'm afraid I have to go back and finish the job I started.” He leaned his head against the headrest and closed his eyes. “I didn't like being Kenneth Knight when I met you, so I became Ken Callahan. It was actually only a little white lie. My mother's name was Callahan. Callahan is my middle name.”

Chris felt the fine line of civility snap. She made a swift, angry gesture with her hand. “A lark?” she shouted. “You moved into my house on a lark? You seduced me on a lark?”

“I didn't seduce you. Women only get seduced in historical romances. What we had was mutual lust.”

He was right, but, dammit, she didn't like hearing it. Lust. It was such a narrow emotion, and what she felt for him was so beautiful and complicated. But she couldn't deny it. In the beginning there had been a lot of lust going on. She shook her head. “Who cares what you call it, anyway. You're starting a battle over semantics to avoid the issue. You took advantage of me and my aunt. These three weeks have just been a diversion for you. Three weeks of lies and a phony engagement just to amuse yourself because you're tired of being Hatchetman.”

“The business about me being tired of Hatchetman might be true, but there's nothing phony about our engagement. I love you. There's nothing phony about that, either.”

“Unfortunately, I love Ken Callahan. I don't even know Kenneth Knight.”

“They're the same person, Chris. They just dress differently.”

“Are you kidding? Look at this house! What sort of a person would live in this house? Lord Fairfax couldn't have handled this much grandeur.”

“I hate this house.”

“You bought it. You must have liked something about it.”

There was a moment of strained silence before
a mischievous twinkle appeared in his eyes, and an embarrassed grin spread across his mouth. “I guess I had an image of myself lounging about in bucolic majesty.”

Chris was caught short by the sudden change in tone. The tension in her eased a little and she giggled. He really did have a way with words. “Bucolic majesty,” she repeated. “I like that.”

His smile was stiff. He looked at the red brick monster that dominated the hillock. “A little pretentious, huh?”

“Everything is relative. Louis XIV would have thought this was modest.”

“We could gut it and make it an ice rink.”

“Yeah. It'd have about the same seating capacity as the Capital Center.”

The two of them burst into gales of laughter, relieved that they could still find humor in a crumbling world. Chris finally wiped her eyes and sank down in her seat. “My sides hurt.” She gasped for breath.

“You're lucky. It's my heart that's breaking,” he whispered. “I love you.”

Chris blinked against an annoying mist in her eyes. She didn't feel up to a discussion about love. She had achieved her goal. She had forced him to tell her the truth, and now she wanted to go home.
She wanted to be alone to lick her wounds and restore some order—some peace to her life. She bowed her head and studied her skirt with unseeing eyes. She had expected to feel hurt and anger and resentment, but she only felt sad. She had anticipated this confrontation for days—had lived through it in minute detail every waking hour since she'd seen the magazine, and now she was incapable of real communication. She had rehearsed speeches, but she couldn't remember any of them.

Ken draped his arm over the wheel. He gently touched her cheek with his thumb, wiping away an errant tear. “Why did you ask me to bring you here?”

“To force your hand. To help myself decide what to do about this ring.”

He kept the tone of his voice light. “Got cold feet?”

She nodded. Tears choked her throat, and she swallowed them down. “Could you take me home now?”

 

Chris glared across the room at Ken Callahan Knight. “You're being unreasonable.”

Ken lounged against the dining room wall and watched the two women working in the kitchen.
“I don't consider it unreasonable. I've paid my rent through December, and I'm not leaving.”

Chris slammed the freezer door and marched over to the stove with a box of frozen corn. She wanted him out of her house. His presence was like a drug, robbing her of her ability to make an intelligent decision. And Lucy was becoming more attached to him with each passing day. “You took the ring back. Why won't you move out?”

“I didn't take the ring back. It's sitting in a coffee cup on top of the toaster because you refuse to wear it. And I'm not leaving because I like it here.”

She ripped the box of corn open with a vengeance and thunked it into a pot of boiling water. Already he was behaving like Kenneth Knight. Unreasonable, unbending, unflappable tycoon.
Just look at him standing there so outrageously handsome and infuriatingly relaxed. Damn. How can he be so cool when I'm in such a turmoil? He almost looks…amused!
She slammed the lid on the pot filled with corn. “Aunt Edna, tell him to leave.”

Edna studied the gravy she was making as if it were incredibly fascinating…almost spellbinding. “Well, he did pay his rent.”

“Aunt Edna, you're siding with him. How could you?”

“I'm not siding with anyone. I'm just being fair.”

“All right. I'll give you your rent money back.”

Edna cleared her throat. “That could be tough. I don't think we have it, what with paying bills and buying Christmas presents…and I already ordered our Christmas turkey.”

Chris and Ken exchanged horrified stares at the mention of a Christmas turkey.

“I don't know why you don't want him around, anyway. I like him.” Edna waved the gravy spoon at Ken. “What did you do today to screw things up? Everything looked hunky-dory until you took her out to see that house of yours this morning.” She turned on Chris. “What's wrong with his house? Why did you give his ring back?”

Chris didn't know what to say. She didn't exactly know what was wrong with his house or why she'd given the ring back. She just felt uneasy. She didn't want another marriage that lasted six weeks. She wanted a marriage that lasted forever, and the brooding executive on the cover of
Newsweek
didn't seem like the home-and-hearth type. And the fact that she'd started out as a lark to him still rankled in her mind. Despite all his assurances, she wasn't sure that the lark had ended. Chris carried the mashed potatoes to the table. “His house was fine, Aunt Edna. I just need a little time to make sure I'm doing the right thing, and I
thought I could make the decision better if he wasn't living here.”

Ken lit the green Christmas candles on the table. “You spent three weeks living with Ken Callahan. I think you should give Ken Knight equal time.”