Read Here Be Sexist Vampires Online
Authors: Suzanne Wright
“Sounds fair. But I still say I don’t need the help.”
“Anyone who’s so narrow-minded needs help, being prejudiced just holds people back.”
“Is that right?” he asked, smiling and crossing his arms over his chest.
“I can guarantee you that within seven nights you’ll see a difference with
our
new recruits’ control of their gifts. When that happens, you’ll owe me an apology. A public one
.
”
He strolled over, stopping only when he reached my bureau. The challenge in his eyes made me stand up. “Care to make that bet interesting?”
“Bets are always interesting.”
“
If
you manage to improve their control in five nights -”
“Five? I said seven.”
“What, you don’t think you could make a difference within five nights?” His smirk was triumphant as he knew I wouldn’t show any weakness.
“Fine.Five nights.”
“So, as I was saying,
if
you manage to improve their control in five nights, I’ll apologise. I’ll even make a public apology if that’s what you want. But if you
don’t
make any difference” – he leaned across the table, leaving only inches between our faces – “I get to taste you.” His gaze wandered down to my throat and his irises began to glow red again. I’ll reluctantly admit that I liked that tasting my blood was so appealing to him.
My instinct was to say ‘You can
sod off
.’ But that would be the equivalent of me saying that I wasn’t one hundred percent confident in my ability. His grin was smug; he knew he had completely cornered me. “Fine.”
“I’ll look forward to collecting on my bet.”
“Why would you want to give yourself false hope?”
In the space of two seconds there was a tiny knock on the office door, a female voice calling out ‘It’s only me, sweetie!’ and then a girl had barged into the office. Immediately I didn’t like her because she was obviously Jared’s girlfriend. With her shoulder-length pitch-black hair, her penetrating Keja-amber irises, chunky scarlet lips, and coal-black dress, she made me think of a witch. She was beautiful, yeah, but she was also so skinny to the extent that she was all bony. Her skimpy dress perfectly illuminated this fact.
I sent a thought to Jared.
Oh come on, there’s no meat whatsoever on those bones. And she doesn’t even make up for it in the boob department – they’re like bee stings. I really thought you’d have better taste than that.
He looked amused.
Jealous?
Of a stick insect? Yeah, right.
He didn’t look convinced, and well he shouldn’t. I
was
jealous, which surprised me.
Her eyes narrowed slightly as she saw Jared leaning across my bureau, but she quickly pasted a wide smile on her face and paced over to him. She held my gaze as she planted a kiss on his cheek. Possessiveness twinkled in those eyes. I really didn’t like that. I was pretty sure that I’d later question why on earth it had bothered me so much.
I smiled pleasantly at her. “Hi, you must be Nancy.” Damn if I knew any Nancy. I just wanted to enjoy seeing the possessive twinkle become paranoia.
Her own smile faded. “I’m Joy,” she said emphatically before turning to Jared. “Who’s Nancy?” Although she had clearly tried to sound aloof, she hadn’t at all pulled it off.
Jared gave me a knowing smile. “One of the human girls.” No idea why he was playing along. “Joy, this is Commander Parker.”
She sniggered. “Since when does a woman – or a Sventé, for that matter – work
here
?”
“Since she kicked my ass.”
“So
she’s
the one who did that. But she looks so, well, ordinary.”
Before I could snap her head off her twig-like body Jared said, “Joy, it’s really not smart to irritate someone who could kill you easier than she can breathe.”
The phone on my bureau rang, snapping me out of my planning what would be the most rewarding way to watch her die. I answered quickly, “Hello?”
“Sam, luv, Sebastian’s here to see you,” Fletcher informed me.
“Send him in, Fletch. Thanks.” No sooner had I hung up the phone than Sebastian was stood before my bureau. Jared backed away with Joy nibbling on his ear. He was more interested in what Sebastian had to say, though, by the look on his face. I already had a pretty good idea what this was about.
“One of my assistants managed to reach Victor and inform him of your new circumstances.” I guessed right. Sebastian puffed. “He more or less indicated that...”
“I should get back there or he’ll hunt me down and drag me back himself?” I supplied. That was the kind of stupid thing Victor would say, considering he had always viewed me as a possession. Losing me also meant losing his consort and his main weapon.
“Something like that.”
Is Victor your Sire?
Jared asked.
“The threat is pointless, of course,” continued Sebastian. “There is no way that Antonio will hand you over to Victor unless you wish to go of your own free will. However, Victor insisted on you being personally given the message and for you to respond imminently as to whether you will be going back to him.”
With all seriousness, I replied, “I’d rather lick my own arsehole.” Sebastian, apparently now accustomed to my occasional harsh language, only smiled. “You be sure he gets that message, word-for-word.”
Sebastian nodded his head obligingly. “I shall do so, Commander. With extreme pleasure. Oh, I almost forgot to inform you that your apartment is ready for you.”
“My a-what?”
“You didn’t think Antonio was going to ask you to stay in shabby accommodations, did you?” He threw me a key card. “I’m sure Fletcher will take you when you’re ready.”
“Thanks.” And I sincerely meant it.
Before leaving, Sebastian shot Jared a look of distaste, just as nauseated as me by how Joy was now moaning while dabbing Jared’s neck with noisy kisses. I decided to take a leaf out of Sebastian’s book and get out of there. Hearing Victor’s name had made my skin crawl, I just wasn’t in the mood to listen to some twig drool all over my colleague who I inconveniently found so gorgeous.
Tidying the documents on my bureau I spoke to Jared as one professional to another. “Fletcher said he’ll have the personal files on the recruits done by dusk, so could you leave them on my desk once you’re finished with them? I’ll need them before lunch break.”
“Where’re you going?”
He had asked that as though he actually thought he had a right to know. “Why? Do you need me for something?”
His brow arched suggestively as a devious smirk surfaced on his devastatingly gorgeous face.
I corrected,
Do you need me for something that doesn’t involve tasting my blood?
Five nights and I’ll be tasting you whether you like it or not.
I snorted.
You keep telling yourself that if it helps you sleep in the day.
Chapter Three
(Sam)
Fletcher, the gem, insisted on accompanying me to the Residence Hall that he had earlier pointed out as the place where the commanders all reside. In front of the hall was a spacey garden with a pebbly path that wound toward the entrance. The main doors were black and bulky yet easy to open thanks to my vampire strength.
It was even quieter inside than it was outside. Quieter than I thought anything could be. You know that feeling when everything’s so quiet that you can actually hear a weird little buzzing sound in your ear?
Fletcher’s voice was like a boom in the silence, “All of the personal assistants of the commanders, me included, live on the ground floor and basement. Our apartments aren’t as big as yours but they’re nice and cosy, that’s all I ask of life.”
“Have you always been a personal assistant here?”
“Oh yeah. When my Sire got the position of one of the security guards about forty years ago he brought some of his vampires with him – one being me. I’ve only been Jared’s assistant a few years. Before that he had a dozen different women. I think Antonio appointed me for Jared because he just wanted Jared to have an assistant he couldn’t shag.”
I giggled. “Something tells me you would shag him given half the chance.”
“Am I that easy to read?”
Together we ventured up the soft regal-blue carpeted staircase until we came to the eighth level. We walked along a beige-painted corridor, passing two or three black doors until we finally stopped at a door that sported the sign ‘Commander Samantha Parker’.
Earlier I’d pictured myself dashing inside that apartment content as a pig in shit. Call me odd, I know I would, but I now found myself procrastinating. I’d spent the past three years sharing a flat with Victor and having him and his guards spying on my every move. Now I would not only have privacy, I’d have things that were
mine
and just mine. That title on the door was mine. This apartment was mine. The new job I had and the wages that would come from it would all be mine. What’s more, I didn’t belong to anyone now except myself. There was a lot that my slow brain needed to absorb, so many changes so quickly.
“You’re gonna love this, I just know it,” said Fletcher excitedly as I finally unlocked the door with my key card. “The walls are even vampire sound-proof. How great’s that!”
Noiselessly the door swung open and presented me with my new home. Wow. It was much more stylish than what I’d been expecting. I walked along the soft luxury beige carpet of my living area. The walls were brilliant white, as were the window frames, the curtains, and the balcony doors.
“Oh yes I have a balcony,” I drawled, passing a crescent-mooned shaped three-seated sofa in the centre of the living area that was angled toward a wide screen T.V. – at least thirty-two inches – that was hanging on the wall.
Ooh nice
. In between the two was an oval pine coffee table that was positioned comfortably on a white fur (fake fur, I could tell) mat. In one corner was a large dish lamp while in the other was a C.D. player and a collection of C.D.s. As I swerved back to flash a delighted smile at Fletcher I noticed that my duffel bag had been placed near the sofa.
“Come see your kitchen,” urged Fletcher.
The carpet ended at a small glossy-cream kitchenette which was tiled the same glossy-cream. Although it was miniature it was all there: cupboards, oven, hob, sink, refrigerator, microwave, kettle, washing machine, and tumble dryer. Fletcher did a Vogue-worthy pose against the fridge before opening it and doing a
viola
sound. “In here they’ve stocked you a load of NSTs -”
“NSTs?”
“Sounds like a sexually transmitted disease, doesn’t it? No, luv, I mean Nutritive Supplemental Tonics. They’ve got blood in them and a load of other funky vitamins. Antonio has them made so we don’t have to move thousands of humans into The Hollow to feed on.” He took one of the glass bottles out and sniffed. “They’re not bad, actually. And they get to your thirst quick enough and they give you a good boost. This one’s supposed to have a vanilla flavour to it but I wouldn’t know if it does, I’ve never tried it. I think these ones are the best.” He pulled out another of the glass bottles. “Honey flavoured. Go on, have a sip.”
Mainly because I knew Fletcher wouldn’t shut up until I tried some, I took the Honey flavoured NST and removed the cap. The aroma that escaped the bottle was alluring and hypnotic, drawing you to the liquid. It was the kind of smell that would make you feel hungry even if you originally weren’t. But I was hungry – well, thirsty – so I aggressively chugged it down. I probably looked like an animal but I couldn’t have cared even if you paid me to. “That’s alright that.”
“Good Lord, you must’ve been parched. Why didn’t you say something?”
The feeling that came from devouring the drink was strange. I felt relaxed the way I did after a mug of Hot Chocolate, but I also felt giddy and hypo the way I did after a can of Red Bull. There was such a silky feel to the liquid that it soothed my throat and made me feel refreshed rather than groggy. But although it got to work on the thirst pretty quick like Fletcher had said, it at the same time had left me wanting more. Nothing quenches the thirst other than pure blood itself.
Fletcher tugged on my arm. “Come on, come see the bedroom suite.”
The beige fluffy carpet began again after the kitchenette, leading into a gorgeous bedroom where there was a Queen-sized bed adorned with rosy-pink satin bed sheets. Fletcher and I exchanged a knowing look and then simultaneously we both dived on the bed.
“My word, this is comfy,” he purred. “I think you’ll struggle to get out of this bed in the evenings. I know I’d never leave it if it was mine.”
“And it’s
all
mine!”
“You’re not getting yourself a consort?”
The word always gave me a chill. I’d been Vince’s consort against my will for the past three years. Having sex with someone you despised had a way of making you feel ill inside. I had to question whether sex itself had ever really been that thrilling. “Not a chance in hell. Do you have one?”
“Better. I have a boyf. Norm. We’ve been together ’bout a year now. But maybe you should think about getting a consort just for a little. Pardon my saying this but it looks to me like you could do with a good shag. I mean it might help with the aggressiveness and then maybe you wouldn’t get so hot around Jared all the time.”
Completely taken aback by the comment and the way Fletcher had said it so casually, I guffawed. “What?”
“Oh don’t muck about, it’s obvious you want him, and him you. You might have decked him at the tryout but those red irises tell me he’s gotten over it quick enough. I’ve heard he’s well hung if that helps.”
“I do
not
get hot around him.”
“That’s a little thing called
denial
.” He waved a hand. “Anyway, if you’re not going to get a consort at least get yourself a vessel, luv.” A vessel being a human readily available to only you for biting anytime. “There’re plenty of NSTs but nothing compares to the act of biting and drinking blood, does it? Maybe you could have a little nibble on Jared’s -”