Here All Along (14 page)

Then he got some unexpected assistance from the cause of all his trouble.

Gabe wandered up to them and said, “Give us a few days, Karl. You know how the last few years of Sage’s career were before she disappeared, and if we want to have any chance of convincing her to make a comeback, we need time to convince her it’s worth the part.”

“Worth the part?” Karl turned a squinty-eyed glare on Gabe. “As in money?”

“No, it’s not about money,” Gideon replied. “Sarah likes her privacy. She’s been out of the business long enough that no one knows who she is. If she were to take on this role, she’d be recognized again, and I’m not so sure she’d be willing to give up her freedom for the spotlight.”

“But we’ll do our best to convince her otherwise.” Gabe met his gaze in a silent warning to stop while they were ahead. “In the meantime, let’s focus on shooting the scenes without Rae so we can stay on schedule.”

“This film’s going to give me an ulcer.” But Karl turned and went back to the set to review the lighting.

Gideon focused his attention on Gabe. “So that’s your plan? To get Red to take Mackinzie’s role?”

“Who would you rather have? That anorexic airhead? Or a woman with real talent?” Gabe crossed his arms like he was standing his ground. “It will be a win-win situation for all of us.”

“Are you certain? Because I know Red, and this is the last thing she wants.”

“And I think you’ve been babying her for too long. She wants to come back. She just needs someone with the balls to push her in the right direction.” Gabe relaxed and turned to walk away, adding, “Watch and learn, Kid.”

A whisper of doubt replayed Gabe’s words in the back of Gideon’s mind. Had he been holding her back? Was this what she wanted? And if it was, would she leave him behind?

Chapter Eleven

Sarah stared at the ceiling long after the sunlight had appeared through her bedroom window. Before Gideon had turned her world upside down, she’d known what she’d needed to do. She’d been resolved to leave, to strike out on her own and prove to herself that she could be independent. And she knew she should’ve left last night instead of sitting on the floor by the door, crying and stuffing her face full of yellow M&Ms until he showed up to change her mind.

But that kiss…

No, it wasn’t a fluke. There were definite sparks between them. Chemistry. A rage of hormones that had her more confused than when she was a teenager. But one thing was certain—if he kissed her again, she doubted she’d have the willpower to ask him to stop.

And there was the overly romantic gesture of him recovering her award. If she’d been any other woman, she would have gone to his room and given him a proper thank-you. But she hadn’t. She’d hidden behind the door, finished up her little balls of sunshine, and weighed the pros and cons of becoming his girlfriend. In the end, her desire and fear ended in a stalemate when her eyes closed.

She dug her fingers into her pillow and used it to muffle her scream of frustration. Once she got that out of her, her mind cleared enough to remind her that hiding in her room wouldn’t resolve anything. She crawled out of bed and dressed in her favorite yoga outfit.

Jason and Raul were both crowded around a computer screen when she left her room. “What’s going on?”

They both turned around quickly, wearing identical expressions of guilt.

“Nothing,” Jason answered. “Just, you know, keeping tabs on the boss.”

He was trying to cover up what they’d really been doing, but she had no desire to grill them right then. “Stay out of trouble. Gideon’s already making enough as it is.”

The bodyguards exchanged glances before nodding. “Got it, boss lady,” Raul replied.

It was almost noon based on the slim shadows crisscrossing the pool area, and the hot summer sun beat down on her bare shoulders when she rolled out her mat. Common sense would’ve told her to seek out shade or grab some sunscreen before she ended up with more freckles, but the heat felt good. It chased away the cold dread that had surrounded her heart since the first kiss yesterday. By the time she finished her poses, her mind had drifted to a place where she felt empowered.

Unfortunately, she still wasn’t certain of the best course of action. Stay and risk screwing things up? Or run away and possibly miss out on the best guy she’d ever known?

Her phone rang as she made her way to the shower. “Hello?”

“Hello?” a woman asked. “Is this Sage Holtz?”

Her heart skipped several beats until the tightness mounting in her chest seemed to restart it. No one who had this number knew her as Sage. She was just Sarah, Gideon Kelly’s assistant. “I’m sorry, you have the wrong number,” she said in a rush before hanging up.

She closed her eyes and steadied her breaths.
It’s just a fluke. A one-time mistake
.

But if Gabe recognized her after all these years, would someone else?

She managed to get through her shower before the phone rang again, this time from a different number. “Hello?”

“Hi, I’m looking for Sage Holtz,” a man with a nasally voice said. “Do you know where I can reach her?”

“No, I’m sorry, you have the wrong number,” she repeated and hung up even quicker than before.

Something was off about this, and her gut told her it had to do with what Jason and Raul were studying on the computer this morning. Still clad in her bathrobe, she stormed over to their command central. “Why do I have a feeling there’s more stuff going on than what you’ve told me?”

“Whatcha talking about?” Jason asked, his voice a bit higher than normal.

“I’ve gotten two calls in the last hour, both of them asking for me by my stage name.”

Raul cleared his throat before turning to Jason. “Might as well show her.”

Jason cursed under his breath and pulled up a webpage.

Sarah’s breath caught at the image of her and Gideon kissing. “Where did that come from?”

“Probably from the video on YouTube.” Jason flipped the page to show her.

Her knees wobbled, and she sank into a nearby chair. Yes, it was bad that they’d been exposed, but nothing compared to the realization that smacked her in the center of her chest. They looked good together, like one of the storied Hollywood romances.

“We caught the video this morning, but the article,” Jason continued, flipping back to the original page, “outed you. It said you were going to be replacing Mackinzie in the film.”

“It’s a complete lie.” Her voice was faint and shaky, so unlike the calm control she’d fought so hard to achieve over the last three years. “All I was doing was helping the Kid run lines.”

“Maybe so, but the article makes a pretty convincing case.” Jason moved away from the screen. “You want to read it?”

She shook her head. The anonymity she’d savored since her accident was gone. Now, everyone would know that Sarah Holtz, Gideon’s assistant, was really former child star Sage Holtz. Her empty stomach twisted, and the craving for more yellow M&Ms intensified. “Any way you can get that taken down?”

“We’ll try, but it’s through a major news outlet. Whoever leaked the news knew the right people.”

I’m going to be sick
. She rose to her feet like there was a hundred-pound weight on her shoulders.

“You okay?” Raul asked, placing his hand on her elbow to steady her.

“No, but I’ll manage.” After all, managing was what she did best.

The ringing of her phone echoed through the room, and she jumped. “Can one of you answer it?”

Raul took the phone from her. “
Hola?
” He paused to listen, then shook his head. “No, there is no one here by that name.”

Sarah wrapped her hands around her midsection and gave herself a hug. Maybe it was time to change her number.

Raul hung up and handed the phone back to her. “Wrong number.”

“You’re an awful liar.” But she gave him a weak smile. “I’m going to finish getting dressed and figure out what to do next.”

“Sure thing, boss lady.” Raul joined Jason at the computer screen, and the sound of the clicking keyboard filled the silence.

She’d barely managed to get dressed when the phone rang again. And like an idiot, she answered.

“This is Donna Carlson,” a woman said in a snotty tone. “I want to speak to Sage Holtz.”

Shit!
The reporter who wanted to eat Gideon for dessert. “I’m sorry, but there’s no one here by—”

“Wait a minute,” the reporter interjected. “You’re Sage, aren’t you?”

Sarah hung up the phone before she revealed her panic to the reporter.

The phone rang within seconds, growing more slippery in her sweating palms. Her pulse hammered in her ears, and she couldn’t suck in enough air.

Just ignore it
.

But as soon as the call was diverted to voice mail, the ringing returned.

Shit! Shit! Shit!

Sarah bolted for the door, holding the phone at arm’s length like it was a rabid animal. The ringing wouldn’t stop. Desperate to end this harassment, she turned toward the pool. One glance at the serene water provided the perfect solution. She pitched her phone into the pool without giving it a second thought.

And silence followed.

Raul came out after her. “You want me to get that before the water destroys it?”

She shook her head. “I’ll get a new one.”

Raul studied her like he was trying to see if he needed reinforcements. But after ten seconds, he returned to the villa, leaving her alone by the pool.

Sarah stared at the phone from one of the deck chairs, paralyzed by fear. First Gideon’s kisses. Then the recovered award. Now this. The serenity of her life hung by a thread, and the chaos in her soul was growing stronger every minute and threatening to destroy it. The last time she felt that way was the weeks leading up to her accident.

And just like then, the craving for a drink consumed her.

Her mind recoiled at the thought of falling back into her old ways and screamed at her to call her sponsor, but she was up and moving toward the bar before she knew it. Her hand trembled as she poured the vodka into a glass with ice.

Just one drink to settle my nerves. That’s all I need
.
I’ll limit it to that. I can be in control.

She kept telling herself that over and over again as she raised the glass to her lips.

***

Gideon scrubbed the makeup off his face and raked his fingers through his hair.

Today had been a special kind of hell. He moved through his scenes as though he was in a fog, just focusing on what was right ahead of him instead of trying to see too far ahead. Red never came by the set today, and he was left to worry about her location. Was she still in the villa, waiting for him? Or had she hopped on the next flight back to LA like she’d threatened to do last night?

He pulled out his phone and dialed her number.

It went straight to voice mail without ringing once.

Tension gathered at the base of his skull. Red always had her phone on her. For her to turn it off only confirmed his worries. Panic fueled his steps as he pushed through the crowded set. He had to go back to the villa and see if his fears were true.

The sharp ring of his phone halted him. Maybe she was calling him back. He answered without checking the number. “Red, we need to talk.”

A very different voice answered. “Sorry, sweetie, but this isn’t Sarah.”

He bit back the groan forming in his throat. Not another endless phone call with his mother. “Hi, Mom. I’d love to talk, but I’m right in the middle of something.”

“Are you getting ready to shoot another scene? I thought you’d be done for the day by now.”

It would be so easy to lie to his mom, but a small voice in the back of his mind urged him to talk to her. “I am, but I’m kind of in a tough spot.”

“Having trouble with Sarah again?” his mother asked with an air of maternal smugness. The woman knew him too well.

“Yeah, you could say that.” He searched the set for a quiet place to talk, finally deciding on a corner on the edge of the set. “She’s mad at me again, and for good reason.”

He recounted his version of the events of the last week in a rush. Everything, from Gabe’s plan to get Sarah to replace Mackinzie to his own conflicted feelings about kissing Sarah, tumbled out without interruption. And when he finished, his mother remained silent. “So, yeah, I’m in a big mess.”

“Is this what you want?”

“The mess? Hell, no.”

“Then what do you want, sweetie?”

Her question caught him off guard. There were so many things he wanted, but at the heart of the issue, he knew the answer. “I just want Sarah to be happy.”

“Good answer,” his mother replied. “But do you think she would be happy with you?”

His breath hitched. All this time, he’d been focused on what he wanted—on convincing Red that they’d be perfect together—that he’d never considered her feelings on the matter. They’d been friends for so long, why wouldn’t they be happy together as a couple? But his mother’s question reminded him of the times Sarah complained about her mother’s revolving door of husbands and her father’s issues with fidelity. She hadn’t grown up with parents who truly loved each other. She was probably terrified that their relationship would end up like her parents’.