Her Unbridled Cowboy (Harland County Series) (22 page)

Jordan inhaled and squeezed Kerri’s
shoulders at the same time. “Don’t you ever think that, Kerri.  Do you hear me?
Your feelings and problems are just as important as mine.” Her sister pulled
her in for a tight hug. “God, I am so sorry I wasn’t there for you. I let you
down.”

Kerri squeezed her sister back.
“You could never do that.”

 “Well, I sure screwed up big time
then.” Jordan drew back, but didn’t release her. “My gut told me there was more
to your divorce back then, but I didn’t push, and now I find out you’ve been
going through this all by yourself for over two years now.” Her sister took an
unsteady breath. “I’m so, so sorry I let you down.”

“Stop saying that. It was my choice,
and I can be just as stubborn as you.”

They both smiled at that. And why
not? It was a known fact.

Jordan put both hands firmly on Kerri’s
shoulders and stared intently. “I don’t want you to think, even for
one
minute
that you were the reason that Lance is gay.”

It felt as if someone had shoved a
fist into her gut and twisted. Her face must’ve given her away because Jordan’s pressure increased on her shoulders.

“I mean it, Kerri. It had nothing
to do with you.”

“How can I think that, Jordan?” She snorted. “The man wasn’t gay before we got married. I must’ve been so
undesirable, so horrible in bed that he went looking elsewhere.” She pushed out
of her sisters’ grasp and flopped back down onto the loveseat. Finally, she’d
revealed her dark secret—spoke the words aloud at last.

“If that were true, wouldn’t he
have just found a stripper or something? I mean, why would he look for a man?” Jordan asked as she sat down next to her.

“Because I was a lousy lover,” she
repeated.

“No honey, that’s not true.” Jordan smiled and put her arm around her. “Don’t you see, if it were, he would’ve found
another woman. Not a man. Lance obviously had some of his own issues to deal
with.”

Kerri blinked. Jordan’s words made some sense, but after believing herself to be the problem for so long,
it was hard to think otherwise.

“You need to talk to Lance.”

Kerri stiffened. “No way. I-I
couldn’t.”

Wouldn’t that be a fun
conversation?

Hi, Lance. So, um, is it true I
was such a horrible lover I turned you off women?

Yes, Kerri. Yes, it’s true. You
should seek some professional help.

Kerri shuddered.
Talk to Lance?
No thank you.

“It’s the only way you can move on,
Kerri. Don’t you see that?” her sister implored.

Kerri sighed. Jordan made a lot of sense. Darn her. “I guess you’re right, but I’m not ready.”

“Well, I hope you are by Sunday,
because he is coming in then,” Jordan informed quietly.

Kerri’s heart rolled in her chest. “What?”

“He’s coming to see you on Sunday.
Cole and I ran into him in L.A., and he said he’s been trying to contact you
and offered to drive the moving van that has my things. He’s on his way now,” Jordan told her gently. “I knew you two had some unfinished business so I agreed. And after
what you just told me, I am so glad I did.”

Kerri sat there in stunned silence
as the news sunk in.  Her ex-husband was coming to Texas to talk to her. Her
chest hurt. She was having trouble breathing. Talk to Lance? God, she didn’t
think she could do it.

As if sensing this, Jordan took her hand and squeeze.  “Kerri, you can do this. You are strong, and you need to
hear him out if you are ever going to get on with your life.”

She closed her eyes, drew in a
breath, then opened them. “I know you’re right. I really do, but what if he
confirms what I’ve been thinking all along?”

There, she voiced her strongest
fear.

“Honey, he is not going to do that.
He wouldn’t drive through several states, hauling someone else’s junk just to put
you down. Think about it. You know I’m right.”

Kerri managed to nod, though she
was still a little unsure.

“Now,” Jordan said firmly as she squeezed
her hand again. “What went on between you and Connor?”

Images of the sexy cowboy standing
over her and scowling, invaded her thoughts. Closing her eyes, she willed them
to go away.  They didn’t.

“Kerri, what happened?”

“I…” Her voice was suddenly hoarse
with emotion. She cleared her throat and proceeded to relate the events of her
date with Duke, finishing up by briefly skimming over the part about the couch
and Connor, and ended with his despairing remarks.

“Wow.” Jordan sat back, then
smiled.

Smiled. Why was she smiling?
I’m
here dying inside and she’s smiling.

“You have that man hogtied.”

Now it was Kerri’s turn to look at Jordan as if she’d grown two heads. How could her sister have possibly come to that
conclusion from what she just told her?

Kerri cocked her head and frowned. “Are
we talking about Connor or Duke?”

“Connor you goof.” Jordan playfully punched her arm.

“Did you not hear what he said to
me?”  

 Jordan nodded. “Yes, I heard
everything you told me, but I don’t think you see the picture as clearly as I
do.” Her sister smiled smugly. “Kerri, that man is so besotted with you, he’s
not thinking straight.”

Oh, that’s different then. That
clears everything up.
Not.

Looking into Jordan’s smiling eyes Kerri sighed. “You’re going to have to tell me then, oh wise one, because I
was there and that man was ranting and raving, slinging hateful words
and…and…glaring at me like I was garbage.”

“Exactly.” Jordan slapped her leg. “Connor followed you because he was worried about what Duke might do to you.
Then, after you made him sit outside while the two of you were inside, his
jealousy ran rampant so that by the time Duke left, he was out of control.”

Kerri narrowed her eyes as she
tried to believe those words.  They just didn’t explain why he stopped and said
those hateful things.  It could only mean that she was right about being
undesirable.

“No,” Jordan remarked as if she
could read her mind. “He said what he did because he was angry with himself for
being
so attracted to you.”

Kerri laughed at that. “Yeah,
right.”

“I am right,” Jordan said, cocky grin on her face. “He was trying to convince himself that he wasn’t interested,
when in fact, he was way interested to the point of obsession.”

Now her sister had jumped into
nutville, without a cape. Kerri stared at the woman sitting next to her because
she made no sense.

“What did Connor do before he said
those words to you?  It’s very important, so think.”

Not knowing where Jordan was going with this, Kerri thought back to that horrible night. “He pulled away and looked
around the room.”

“What did he see? What did the room
look like?”

Kerri closed her eyes and tried to
envision it as best she could. “I hadn’t cleaned up from Duke yet, so our
popcorn and soda cans were on the coffee table. Pillows were on the floor and
so was my…”

Her eyes flew open and she sat up
straight.

“So was your what?” Jordan asked excitedly.

“My panty hose and shoes.”

Her sister’s eyes widened then
narrowed.

“I took them off before walking
Duke out to his car.”

Jordan dropped back against the
loveseat and laughed hysterically for several seconds before she sat up and
smiled. “Oh my God, I love it! You are one sneaky bitch. You made me proud.”

Kerri smiled back.  “Well, he got
me angry by staying out there. He should’ve gone home.”

“Do you see what happened to Connor
now?” Jordan asked, and when Kerri shook her head, she continued, “He thought you’d
just made love to Duke, and you were giving him the same treatment.”

Oh my god!
Kerri’s mouth
dropped open.
Could Jordan be right?
Possibly. After all, that was the
whole reason she took off her nylons and let her hair down.

“Do you really think so?”

Jordan nodded. “Yes.”

Wow. Kerri stood and walked back to
the fireplace.
He thought I…he thought…

Turning around, she looked at Jordan and shook her head.  “You mean I didn’t turn him off?”
He was angry with himself
for finding me attractive because he thought I’d just had sex with Duke, then sent
Duke home and proceeded to lure him in for the same...

“Definitely not.” Her sister walked
over to her and smiled while taking both her hands. “Now do you see? Lance was
attracted to men, and it was
not
because of you. And Connor is so attracted
to you, he’s trying to push you away because he’s afraid of getting burnt for
the fourth time.”

Sucking in a deep breath, Kerri
squeezed her sister’s hands.  “If all of that is true, then that would mean
there’s nothing wrong with me,” she said more to herself than Jordan,

“Of course there is nothing wrong
with you.  Except that
you
seem to think so.” Pushing Kerri’s hair
behind her shoulder, Jordan continued, “You are a very beautiful and attractive
woman. You have a wonderful sense of humor and wit, and I think it is about damn
time that girl showed her head around here.”

“Okay. But don’t expect it to
happen overnight,” Kerri replied. She needed to take these new revelations and
let them soak in.

C
onnor was working on
the fence in the southern corral the next evening when he heard hoof beats in
the distance. He’d already told his mother not to expect him for supper. Not
because he had a lot of work, which he did. The spring cattle drive was coming
up. But that wasn’t what kept him from calling it a night.

No. It was desire to keep busy. To
not think. Work hard. Drop into bed too exhausted for anything but sleep. Yeah,
that suited him just fine.

“So, this is where you’ve been
hiding,” Cole said, approaching from the east on his horse. “I thought so.”

Connor stopped pounding the post
long enough to see his brother dismount and walk toward him with a bag in his
hand.

Great. That meant Cole was here to
badger. If an emergency had been the reason for a late evening ride, his
brother would’ve stated it outright. Or called. Cell phone reception was
actually great on the ranch. So, no, the reason for his brother’s interruption
was definitely to badger. He knew because he’d been guilty of it more than
once. Hell, just last year their roles had practically been reversed.

“I’m not hiding. I’m working,” he
said, continuing to pound the latest post deep into the ground.

Cole snickered. “Yeah, I can see
that. You’re the reason I’m out here having a roast beef sandwich instead of a
roast beef dinner.” His brother pulled two wrappers out of the bag, tossed him
one, along with a bottle of water. “Compliments of Emma.”

He didn’t want to eat. He wanted to
work, but knew the sooner he placated his brother, the sooner his brother would
leave.

Connor grunted, unwrapped part of
the sandwich and began to eat. It was good. Real good. He had half of it gone
before Cole opened his mouth.

“We need to talk.”

Looking at his brother’s broad
smile, Connor’s insides churned. “Whatever it is, Cole, I’m not in the mood.” Ignoring
him, he finished his sandwich and opened his water.

Cole chuckled. “Oh, boy. Avoiding
family, skipping meals, doing physical labor could only mean one thing.”

The goof was trying to get at
something, but Connor wasn’t about to help. He set his water on the ground,
picked up the hammer and began to pound in a nail.

“Has to be a Masters.”

It would’ve been fine if his hammer
hadn’t slipped off the damn wooden post and slammed into his friggin’ knee.
“Son-of-bitch!”
Connor stumbled around, alternately rubbing then shaking his leg.

“Yeah.
Definitely
a
Masters.” Cole nodded. “Looks painful, bro. That’s gonna leave a mark.”

“I’m gonna mark you if you don’t
shut it, Cole,” Connor ground out between curses.

Backing away, his brother held up
his hands. “Hey, just payback from last year when I smashed my thumb, thanks to
you.”

Connor grumbled, bending over to
rub his leg. “You don’t know what you’re saying.”

“Oh, I know, Connor, because I’ve
been there.” Cole slapped him on the shoulder. “Last year, I took a bottle of
Jack, locked myself up in my office and proceeded to empty it.”

He glanced at his brother in
surprise, wondering if that was during the Masters’ sister’s first visit or
second. Cole had been a bear both times.

“It didn’t work, by the way. Jordan still continued to haunt me, and that only stopped when a very wise person made me
see things clearly.” Cole squeezed his shoulder, then released him to lean
against the fence and stare intently at him.

“That was totally different. My
feelings for Kerri are not the same as yours are for Jordan.” He swiped his
water from the ground and proceeded to drain the bottle.

“Oh, so you don’t feel a tightening
in your gut when you look at her? Kerri’s kisses don’t haunt you at night and
the thought of her making love to someone else doesn’t make you want to punch
something?”

Well, hell.

Connor stared at Cole, then lied
through his teeth. “No.”

He could tell his brother didn’t
buy it. Yeah, the way Cole threw his head back and laughed his ass off was a
dead giveaway. Connor watched as his brother sobered and shook his head.

“That’s exactly what I would’ve
said last year, and
I
would’ve been lying, too.”

Grumbling, Connor stuffed his
garbage in the paper bag, then shoved it into Cole’s gut. “My love life is none
of your business.”

“That’s where you’re wrong, bro. It
is my business when I see you hurting.”

He held back a snort. No way was he
getting roped into this conversation. Shaking his head, he walked away to pick
up the hammer.