Her Shameful Secret (16 page)

He sat up and her eyes were level with his. Antonio guided her hips to counter each savage thrust. She placed her hands on his jaw and kissed his mouth.

“I love you so much, Antonio,” she said against his lips.

His fingers bit into her skin as he ground his mouth
against hers. She matched his raw passion with every kiss, every touch and roll of her hips. The need clawed inside her, stripping her control to ribbons. She arched her spine and tilted her head back just as a ferocious climax screamed through her. Her body clenched, her mind went blank and her skin went hot and cold. Antonio burrowed his face against her breasts, his stubble rasping against her as he let out a hoarse cry of triumph.

Time stood still for Isabella. She wanted to hold on to this moment but it was already slipping away. She clung to Antonio as he guided her back onto the mattress. She curled up next to him and pressed her face against his sweat-slicked chest. She inhaled his scent and closed her eyes.

This was how she wanted to end their affair. No tears, no drama. This was how she needed to say goodbye.

But she had to say it one more time, even if Antonio’s breathing indicated he was falling back to sleep. She had to do it now because she wouldn’t get another chance.

Isabella looked up at Antonio. His eyes were closed and his features were softened in sleep. “I love you, Antonio,” she whispered. “I will always love you.”

Hours later, Isabella stood on Antonio’s balcony which overlooked Rome. The November breeze was crisp but she didn’t go back inside. Her mood was quiet and reflective as she waited for Antonio to finish his phone call and leave his study. She knew he was a busy and important man, but she resented how his business intruded. She didn’t want to share Antonio’s time and attention while they were leaving for the airport.

Isabella glanced down at her clothes, wishing she had something sleek and sophisticated to wear. Something glamorous that he’d always remember instead of her usual jeans and T-shirt. The sweater did nothing to add to her appearance. It was black, bulky, and it hid her baby bump.

She absently rubbed her belly, excited and nervous about her growing baby. The changes in her body were a physical reminder that it was time to move on. She had been greedy and stayed longer than she should. She didn’t want to outstay her welcome and ruin these memories.

“Bella, you must be freezing,” Antonio said as he stepped onto the balcony. “What are you doing out here?”

“I just wanted one more look,” she said. To her horror, she felt her eyes water and her throat constrict with emotion.

Isabella ducked her head and reached for her backpack. She tried to focus on something else and keep her hands busy. She checked once again that she had her passport, ticket and money. As she was about to put them away something caught her notice.

“Antonio?” Isabella frowned as she read the printout in her hand. She straightened to her full height and looked at him. She tried not to think how masculine and powerful he looked in his dark suit and tie. “Is this a first-class ticket?”

“Yes,” he answered abstractedly as he looped a wayward strand of her hair behind her ear. His fingertips brushed her throat and lingered.

Isabella took a step away as dread settled in her stomach. That had to have cost thousands of dollars.
Money she didn’t have yet. Money she’d need for her baby. “You shouldn’t have done that,” she admonished in a hushed tone.

He shrugged and reached for her free hand, slid his fingers between hers. “You wouldn’t accept my private plane,” he reminded her as his thumb caressed her skin.

“I can’t accept it, Antonio.” It was going to take a long time before she would have the money from Giovanni’s will. There were strict rules about how she could spend the money. She could use it to raise her baby but not repay a personal debt. “It’s going to take me forever to pay off this ticket.”

“I don’t want you to repay me.” He raised her hand to his mouth and pressed his lips against her knuckles.

She sighed and rested her head against his shoulder. It was tempting to accept his offer. She was going to be a poor student for a while. She needed all the help she could get. But she’d made a deal and she wanted to honor it. “It’s too expensive.”

His hand tightened against hers. Isabella flinched and lifted her head to look at him. His expression was closed and she couldn’t tell what he was thinking.

“Then don’t use it,” he said.

Isabella blinked and gave him a small smile. “And do what instead? Swim my way back to Los Angeles?” she asked lightly.

She felt the nervous energy simmering in Antonio as he braced his shoulders. “You could stay.”

She stared at Antonio’s profile. He wasn’t looking at her but she saw the ruddy streaks against his cheekbones and the tension in his jaw. If she didn’t know any better she’d think he was feeling shy.

Stay? Hope blossomed through her body. She tried
to tamp down her growing excitement. She could have misunderstood his offer, but was he offering something more than affair? More than a duty to her and her child?

“Here? With you?” she clarified, her breath lodging in her throat.

“Yes.” He risked a glance in her direction. “If that’s what you want.”

Antonio appeared vulnerable. His muscles were stiff and his dark eyes were hooded. He was reaching out, uncertain of her answer. He knew she loved him, but he wasn’t sure if she would make the same sacrifices again.

She shouldn’t. She had put her life on hold to be with him and then, when he had dumped her, she’d had nothing. Working in that café, with no money or opportunities, she’d sworn she would not put herself in that situation again. She would protect herself and not rely on any man. Especially not Antonio, who had the power to destroy her.

So why was she even considering his offer? Hadn’t she learned anything? But this time it was different. This was not a vacation fling or an affair. Or was it?

Her chest squeezed with dismay. He had asked her to stay—something she’d needed to hear after he’d kicked her out all those months ago—but he hadn’t said that he loved her. He wasn’t offering anything more.

Isabella felt tears burn her eyes. “I want to,” she said in a raspy voice. “But I can’t.”

Antonio closed his eyes briefly. His throat tightened as he swallowed. “Why not?”

She pressed her hand against his cheek. Oh, how she wished she didn’t have to reject him. It hurt her just as much as it hurt him. “It’s complicated.”

He placed his hand on hers, trapping her against
him as he opened his eyes and held her gaze. “It’s actually very simple. I want to be with you. You want to be with me.”

Was that enough? It hadn’t been enough last time. And this time she had a baby to consider. She needed more. She needed to know that he was going to be with her no matter what.

“You shouldn’t make big changes when you’re still in mourning,” Isabella decided. She had learned that after her mother’s death. Antonio had had a complicated relationship with his brother and needed time to come to terms with Giovanni’s death.

“You think I’m doing this out of grief?” His eyes glittered with annoyance. “Do you believe that because I no longer have my brother I feel alone in the world?”

“Well, yes. It’s possible.” Isabella hoped it wasn’t. She wanted to believe that the bond they shared was deep and powerful, but knew his feelings might only be temporary. She wasn’t going to stay only to discover that Antonio had made this choice because he was bereaved.

“I’m not trying to fill a void,” he said, his voice low and rough. “If anything I’ve realized how I want to spend the rest of my life. I want to spend it with you.”

Isabella froze. Had he really said that or was she hearing what she wanted to hear? She was almost too scared to move. “What are you saying?”

“I love you, Isabella.” He turned his head and pressed his mouth against the palm of her hand. “I want to be with you. Always.”

Isabella inhaled a jagged breath.
He loved her
. She wanted to fling herself into his arms but something was
holding her back. She was scared to trust his words. Scared to find out that her idea of love wasn’t his.

“This is moving too fast.” She snatched her hand away from him and clenched her fists, her pulse skipping erratically. “I … I need to think about this.”

Antonio moved closer. His harsh features were sharp and there was a predatory gleam in his eyes. He didn’t like her answer and was determined to make her yield. “What’s there to think about? Why do you need to think about it in Los Angeles instead of here with me?”

“I.… It’s just that …”

There was an apologetic knock on the balcony door. Isabella whirled around and saw the housekeeper standing in the doorway. She was wringing her hands in her starched apron.

“I’m sorry to interrupt,” Martina said, trying not to make eye contact, “but your mother is here, sir.”

Antonio closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He didn’t hide the displeasure on his face as he held his temper firmly in check.

“Why is your mother here?” Isabella said. She couldn’t imagine that Maria wanted to see her off to the airport. She had not spoken to Maria since the day she had been invited for tea.

“I don’t know,” he said as he reluctantly moved away. “I’ll be right back.”

She didn’t say anything as she watched him leave. Antonio loved her and wanted her to stay. But as what? His girlfriend? His mistress? His wife?

And would he love her child?

She tried to imagine Antonio as a father.

He would be loving and affectionate. She knew that deep in her bones. He would be firm but gentle. He
wouldn’t make the same mistakes as his own parents. He would encourage and support his child no matter what challenges they faced. Antonio would give his child unconditional love, but would he give it to
her
?

Her opinion was swift. Yes, he would love her child. She didn’t know why she was even questioning it. Antonio was already a part of her baby’s life. He’d been there every step of the way.

Isabella felt as if a weight had been lifted off her. She was willing to take the risk and tell Antonio that she’d stay. She knew they could be a family. She didn’t need to hear a marriage proposal. She wanted one, but she didn’t need it to make her decision. Antonio loved her and cared about her baby. He proved it every day.

They could have a wonderful future together, Isabella thought as she grabbed her backpack and strode across the balcony. She was prepared to live and love boldly, without a safety net.

Isabella stepped into the apartment but didn’t see Antonio or his mother. She heard voices coming from the study and hesitated. She didn’t really want to see Maria Rossi. The woman intimidated her. But she was Antonio’s mother and the grandmother of her child. Isabella gritted her teeth and threw back her shoulders before marching over to the study.

“Why is she leaving?” Isabella heard Maria ask in Italian. “You were supposed to convince her to stay.”

“She hasn’t left yet,” Antonio replied. “And she can always come back.”

“Yes, yes, yes. She
says
she’ll visit so the child can know his heritage and his family, but there’s no guarantee.”

Isabella frowned as she listened by the study door.
Did Maria still think she would prevent her from knowing her grandchild? That she had no intention of keeping in contact?

Isabella was about to step into the study, but froze mid-step when she heard Maria’s next words.

“You were supposed to marry her and adopt the baby so we can gain full control of the Rossi shares.” Maria’s tone was sharp. “What happened?”

Isabella went cold. Antonio had said he wanted her. That he wanted to look after the baby. That he loved her. Her stomach made a sickening twist. It had all been lies.

“I
will
marry Isabella,” Antonio told his mother.

His confident tone scraped at Isabella. There was no question that she would have accepted his proposal. Hell, she would have jumped at the offer with pathetic eagerness. She loved him and had been about to give up everything again to be with him.

“And adopt the baby?” Maria asked.

Isabella gasped as pain ricocheted in her chest. She clasped her shaky hand against her mouth. How could Antonio have devised such a diabolical plan? And how could she have fallen for it so easily?

She should have known he wasn’t going to accept Giovanni’s baby into his heart. This was why he’d said he wanted to take care of them and show full support. So down the line he could win full custody of Gio’s child.

Isabella pressed her hand against the wall as her knees threatened to buckle. It would have worked. If she had married Antonio she would have wanted him to adopt the baby. She would have encouraged it!

And he would have stolen her child away from her. The cold-hearted bastard.

Isabella thrust out her chin and took a deep breath. She wasn’t going to let that happen. She didn’t care that Maria intimidated her or that Antonio wielded enormous power. She would protect her child from the Rossi family.

Isabella stepped into the study, prepared for battle.

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

W
HEN
Antonio saw Isabella enter the study a sense of dread shrouded him and weighed heavily on his shoulders. Isabella’s complexion was pale and her posture was rigid. Her hands were clenched at her sides but it was her eyes that gave her away. She looked wounded. He knew she’d heard his damning words.

Antonio prided himself on his quick thinking. He was usually a man of action. Yet at this moment he couldn’t move. His mind went blank as blinding panic flared inside him. There was no way he could recover from this.

His mother frowned as she watched his expression transform from annoyance to caution. She turned to the door and saw Isabella. Maria immediately pasted on a polite smile and acted as if nothing had been said. After years of gossiping and backbiting with her social circle Maria Rossi wasn’t flustered. She was in her element. The only sign that she was taken by surprise was the way she fiddled with her pearl necklace.