Her Secret Wish (9 page)

They made it through dinner chatting about inconsequential things. It was pretty amazing to realize how similar their lives were. They’d both moved to Denver within the past year. Both loved to work out with friends and play around, but they both had rock-solid work ethics.

And they were incredibly drawn to each other. Anticipation hummed in her blood and she wondered where the night would end up. She never imagined she would be a woman to go home with a man the night of their first date, but she was beginning to rethink those personal boundaries.

After paying the bill, they wandered through the trendy area around the restaurant, going from shop to shop and talking about the things they observed. Dean would hold her hand as they crossed intersections, then he wouldn’t let go unless she made a move to pull away. He made it a point to be affectionate without being clingy.

Rachel found she was the one wanting to be clingy. As they wandered through a tiny little artisan shop, she had to force herself to give him space as they shuffled through the narrow aisles. When they stepped back out into the cool night, Dean tugged her to the edge of the walk and kissed her. Rachel let her hands settle on his hips, her heart racing. Dean was the only man in a long time who didn’t make her feel awkward as hell. At five ten, she stood as tall as, or taller than, many men she knew. She’d been taller than most of her flight crew, which had been a point in her favor, actually. Height coupled with strong personality very often correlated to being the person in charge, which completely worked for her.

Dean, on the other hand, she did not need to manage, and she thoroughly enjoyed the fact that he was several inches taller than her. As they walked along the street now, he rested his left arm along her shoulders, then seemed to think better of the movement and pulled away. “Sorry, did that hurt?”

Rachel shook her head. “No, not at all. I just feel a little strain down through there right now.”

“What happened? Do you mind me asking?”

“I took heavy fire over Afghanistan and it was all I could do to get back to the forward operating base in Jalalabad. We landed hard enough that we wrecked our landing gear and hit dirt. Thirty-three thousand pounds in the sand. It could have been worse, but several of us were injured pretty seriously. I broke several vertebrae from the force of the hit. We had lots of broken bones and strains. Funny thing was they had to fly us out on a helicopter because of our injuries. Talk about getting right back on the horse that bucked you off!”

Dean winced and shook his hand. “Damn. You’ve survived a lot. Do you miss it?”

Rachel grinned softly. “I do, in spite of all of the hardships we had over there. In spite of being swiss-cheesed, I got all my guys home safe and mostly in one piece. I’m held together by plates and screws but it could have been so much worse.”

She leaned into his strong shoulder. “Yes, I miss it all the time, but not enough to go back to it.”

Dean pulled her close, pressing a kiss to her unbruised temple.

They walked in silence for a good while, just enjoying the night and being together. Dean fit to her side like they’d been made for each other.

Eventually they circled back to his truck. He unlocked it and held the door for her while she slid inside. But he didn’t pull away. Instead he leaned in close, his eyes parallel to her own. “I want you to know what an incredible night I’ve had, better than any other date I’ve ever had.”

As she looked at the sincerity in his face, she knew he meant every word. “I did too, Dean. Thank you for a lovely evening. I haven’t…” She looked away for a minute to order her words. “I am not a typical woman. I’m too strong, too independent, not what most guys go for.”

Dean lifted his brows and leaned in to drop a kiss on her nose. “It’s a good thing I’m not like most guys, then, huh?”

A soft smile lifted her lips and her eyes actually moistened. “Yes, it is,” she agreed. “Take me home, Dean.”

With a final lingering kiss, he pulled away and carefully shut the door, but his eyes stayed locked on hers. Rachel felt exposed but somehow liberated as well. Was this what it was like to be in love? Having all your secrets exposed, yet accepted?

When he climbed into the cab she smiled at him. “Drive me home, Officer West.”

One side of his mouth lifting in a cocky grin, he winked at her. “Yes, ma’am.”

Dean drove north then hopped on the interstate to take her home. Once they were cruising at a good speed he reached out to tangle his fingers with hers. Once again, Rachel’s heart leapt in her chest and she shook her head, unable to believe how much her normally calm, steady body reacted to his.

Dean had caught the slight movement. “What’s wrong?”

She sighed in the darkness, wondering how much to tell him. Everything, if she planned on having a future with him. “I’m just amazed at the reaction you provoke in me.”

“Good, I hope,” he told her around a toothy grin.

Rachel laughed. “Excellent, actually. I’m not normally the touchy, feely type but you make me not mind it.”

His attention had returned to the road, but he shot her a considering look. “Maybe you just haven’t been touched and felt the right way?”

“Perhaps,” she agreed. “Maybe you can remedy that?”

Dean’s eyes widened and they jerked back to hers. He stared at her a long moment before focusing back on the road. His right hand tightened on hers and he didn’t release her all the way back to her building.

The curtains twitched next door. Rachel knew Mrs. Lightner would be jotting down in her journal that Rachel had been dropped off by a big, strapping man but that man had stayed hours longer than was proper for an unmarried couple.

Rachel led Dean into her home, helicopters doing aerial maneuvers in her stomach. As she started to lead him to her bedroom, Dean slowed her in the hallway.

“Rachel, I won’t hold you to this. I don’t want to rush you into anything.”

“You’re not rushing me into anything,” she told him firmly.

Dean’s expression turned cautious. “I don’t want to rush
us
into anything then. Yes, I’m attracted to you like crazy, I’ve had a boner damn near since I met you, but I would rather take my time and do this right than rush into something that could possibly ruin the relationship. I’m in this for the long haul, sweetheart.”

Those damn helicopters bottomed out in her stomach. She hadn’t dared hope he would even say something like that.

‡

T
he fact that
he was willing to wait with no recriminations, no hesitation, confirmed what she already knew in her heart and mind. Dean West was an incredible man.

Her hand tightened on his. “I am too. But I want to enjoy this journey as much as I possibly can. As long as you don’t mind me moving a little stiffly, I would like to explore the physical side of this relationship.”

Those normally joyful eyes looked at her with mild reproach. “As long as you realize that this won’t just be a physical relationship. I want more from you than that, Rachel.”

Rachel nodded, hoping he couldn’t see the devastation in her eyes. She’d never expected to find anything even resembling love and now he was almost offering it on a plate. Daring, she looked up at him with that hope in her eyes. “And I’m willing to give you damn near anything you want, Dean.”

That heart-flipping smile of his spread across his face as he leaned down to cover her mouth with his own. Rachel opened to him, both physically and emotionally.

Dean seemed to sense her new openness. He nibbled at her lips as he pulled her body close. Rachel gasped as his chest brushed against hers, back and forth, as if he were deliberately teasing her. But he wouldn’t do that, would he?

Arching her hips, she rubbed against the erection behind his jeans. Groaning, Dean pushed her back against the wall, rocking into the cradle of her hips. His mouth took on a new fervency, fitting to hers completely, his tongue gliding against hers. A wave of arousal ran down the center of her body to her clit and it was almost
too
much. She didn’t remember feeling this way with the other men she’d been with and it was a little disconcerting.

Not so disconcerting that she wanted to stop, though.

Rachel ran her hands across the expanse of his abdomen. Muscles flexed beneath her touch, taut and rippled. Her fingers sought for a way inside to his skin. Dean helped her by ripping the shirt over his head and tossing it away to land in a heap against the hallway wall.

Rachel lost her breath as she looked at the beauty in front of her. Broad and massively muscled, lean hipped, Dean looked like the ideal man to her. His touch was incredibly gentle as he burrowed his own hands under her shirt to rest against her skin. Rachel jerked, unused to feeling a man’s hand there, but quickly decided she liked it.

“Can we move to my bedroom?” she whispered.

Dean nodded but didn’t want to let her go, she could tell. Turning in his hold, she kept his hands on her as she led him to the room.

Rachel was not an interior designer, but of all the rooms in the house she liked to think this one probably gave the most insight into her personality. Though she’d only worn a few shades of military throughout her career, she loved bold colors, quirky objects and things that didn’t necessarily go together. The bedroom walls were painted deep blue and decorated with a few pieces of art she’d picked up from around the world, not very expensive things but
expressive
. There were pictures of a herd of elephants in a fog-laden field, a craggy mountain landscape with a single climber and her favorite, a view of the cloud tops from above. It reminded her of flying.

Dean glanced around the room with interest but he didn’t let it distract him from his goal. Rachel was nudged into the room, his erection cradled by her butt cheeks. Even before they undressed she could tell they were going to fit well.

Dean ran his thumbs under the elastic of her bra. Rachel stilled, barely daring to breathe. When his hands abruptly left she tried not to be disappointed but he only moved to unfasten her bra. It couldn’t go anywhere because it was still under her shirt, but it was now loose enough that he could cup her breasts in his hands. Rachel gasped, hard, at the abrupt feeling of his broad palms cupping her, and her body responded with a flood of moisture down low. “Oh,” she moaned.

Dean caressed the weight of her, then his thumbs and forefingers moved to her nipples. Rachel felt like she’d been hit with an electric charge, but he calmed her with kisses against her temple. “If it’s too much, let me know.”

She nodded because there was no way she could speak right then. Devastating hunger rocked her body and she wanted more, she just wasn’t sure how to articulate it. When his hands drifted away from her breasts to her sides and lifted her shirt away, her enjoyment abruptly chilled. Her scars were not pretty at the best of times and she hated that she couldn’t see his face.

“Oh, Rachel,” he sighed.

Then the most incredible thing happened. He began to drop kisses along the length of her spine. Goose bumps pebbled her flesh from his touch. “Are you sure they don’t bother you? I can wear a T-shirt if I need to.”

Her breath stalled in her lungs until he moved his head into her line of vision. “And why would I want you to do that?”

She shrugged, a little uncomfortable with the probing look. “Nobody’s seen them so I didn’t know if they would freak you out or anything,” she muttered lamely.

He moved even more in front of her. “What do you mean no one has seen these?”

God, did she really want to tell him? Not really, but she felt like she needed to. “No one other than medical personnel, that is. I haven’t been with anyone since I was injured.”

She could hear the ticking of the tiny travel alarm clock on her bedside table, and the slow crumbling of her heart as the time stretched out interminably.

When he moved in to kiss her, Rachel was surprised.

“I’m honored to be the only lover you’ve ever exposed your injury to, Rachel. Thank you.”

Those fucking tears were back and she didn’t know what to do with the battering emotions rocketing around inside her. Dean kissed her thoroughly, wiped her eyes then moved back around her. He kissed and accepted every inch of her incision scar in a way that she never expected any man would do.

Hell, maybe it was just a bigger deal to her and he was placating her for sex. As soon as she had the thought, though, she knew she had inadvertently cheapened what they were doing. Dean would never do that and she trusted herself enough to know what she was doing.

When he tugged at the button on her jeans, she was more than happy to help him, shrugging her bra away in the process. Rachel had a process for getting her panties down without bending over very much but Dean took care of that for her, kneeling in front of her with no hesitation. He tugged the lacy pink panties down her legs, sighing as he revealed the moist juncture of her thighs. Nudging her back against the mattress, she rocked onto her back, hands over her head. Dean parted her thighs and leaned between them. Before Rachel had a chance to say anything, he’d buried his mouth against her.