Her Pirate to Love: A Sam Steele Romance (38 page)

Yet as they stood watching the flames and black smoke it didn’t feel like a miracle. Claire had her children close, but her face was pressed to Nate’s shoulder as she wept for both her home and Mrs. Davis who’d leapt in front of Adam when one of Roche’s crew had aimed at the lad. Alicia rocked a finally sleeping Violet in her arms, but her gaze kept going to the fallen men they’d laid out. Luke and Samantha held each other but Luke’s gaze wasn’t on the fire or their dead friends, it was focused across the yard. Luke’s thoughts, she knew, were with Aidan. And so it wasn’t so surprising when he whispered in Samantha’s ear, then kissed her soundly before heading toward the path that led to the estuary.

“I think I’ll join Luke,” Cale said softly.

Grace, still reeling from the night’s events, held him tight. She wasn’t ever letting go of what mattered to her again. “’Tis only been minutes since Jacques tended your wound. You need to save your strength.”

“Jacques confirmed it was only a graze. I wouldn’t go unless I was completely certain I was fine.” He swept his mouth over hers until every thought fled her head but how wonderful it was to have his arms around her, to know he was not only going to be fine, he was also going to be her husband.

“I’ll be back soon. Trust me, Grace, there’s no place else I’d rather be than at your side.”

She nodded but she held his hand tight. “’Tis unlike Aidan, though, don’t you think? I saw him with Samantha and Luke earlier. I would have thought he’d come running to see for himself his family is all right.”

Cale looked beyond Grace in time to see Luke’s shadow disappear into the forest. “You’re right. It isn’t like him at all.”

*

The
Revenge
was
gone. Dammit, he’d wanted it. He’d always planned on being the next Sam Steele and now the very ship he’d wanted to be Steele on was gone. Taken by the same bastard who’d stolen his family. Aidan’s hands curled into fists. He’d love nothing more than to smash his fist into something. To feel something,
anything
, but this tide of anguish.

He’d remembered. Lord, he thought, looking out at the cresting waves, he’d remembered it all in an agonizing moment of clarity. His mother, his father. The home they’d shared until he’d been stolen. Until
they’d
been stolen. He’d remembered his mother, screaming and struggling to get to her son as they’d lashed Aidan’s hands and feet together and tossed him over their shoulder like a sack of sugar.

Aidan shook his head but the next image came anyway. His mother, struck again and again while one man, then another, raped her. He’d seen it all. The wounded noise came from his throat, the very depth of his soul.

“Aidan? Son, what’s the matter?”

Aidan pinched his eyes closed. He’d always known he wasn’t Luke’s son but he nonetheless thought of Luke as a father and Sam as a mother. Until tonight, he’d believed himself an orphan. Now he knew different and the truth had him gasping. He bent over as the pain ripped through him. The warm, comforting hand closing over his shoulder only made him feel worse. Because he could no longer pretend Luke was his father.

“It’s only a ship, we can build another.”

The past was choking Aidan. It was closing in on him until he shook with the pressure to contain it.

“You’re scaring me, son.”

Aidan shot upright. His anger and grief exploded onto Luke. “I’m not your son, I’m his!”

Luke blinked, frowned. “Whose son? What are you talking about?”

With fury spewing like a geyser, Aidan roared. “I’m not your son, Luke. I’m Cale’s!”

*

Cale was near
the end of the path, about to step into the clearing, when Aidan’s words jarred him to a stumbling stop. His heart wasn’t so lucky. It kept bouncing around in his chest. Even as his head told him he couldn’t have heard right, that his son couldn’t be alive, his foolish heart was considering if such a miracle were actually possible.

Luke’s chains rang as he grabbed Aidan’s forearms and shook him. “You sailed with him for four years. If you were his son, you’d have known.
He’d
have known.”

Yes, exactly right
. Cale wiped his mouth. He couldn’t have sailed with Caden and not recognized his own son. Caden. Aidan. They were the same age. Hadn’t he thought it on more than one occasion, that had Caden lived he’d be the same age as Aidan?

This time when Cale swayed it had nothing to do with his wound.

“I had forgotten! Like Alicia did all those years ago after the pirate attack on hers and Sam’s family, I apparently had also lost my memory. I truly had no recollection of my past until I saw Roche tonight. And then…” Aidan shook his head, bared his teeth. “And then I remembered it all.”

“Which doesn’t explain why Cale didn’t recognize you. Aidan, think about it, you have to be mistaken.”

“I’m telling you I’m not.” He shook Luke off. “We were taken when he was at sea. My mother—” He tossed his head back and the pain on his face ripped Cale’s heart open. “Roche and his men beat her and worse. Then they tossed her into the ocean like refuse. Like she was nothing!”

The blood. Oh, God, oh, God, could it be true?

“Roche beat me then took me to Mr. Grant and sold me. I stopped being Caden Hunter that day. I didn’t care, not after that. I didn’t care about anything until Sam came. Sam saved me, gave me family. Then she married you and you gave me your name.”

Cale had never told anyone but Grace about his wife and son, not their names, not anything. There was no way for Aidan to know everything unless he truly was Caden. Aidan was Caden. Everything in Cale crumpled. His son was alive. For a moment, he just looked as scalding tears trailed down his face, as his hands and every other part of his body shook. He’d thought he’d lost his boy. But he hadn’t. Oh, God, he hadn’t.

Without realizing he’d made the decision, he walked toward his son. Aidan spun. Despite the narrowing of his eyes and the curl of his lip, there was no mistaking it and Cale couldn’t believe he hadn’t seen it before. Lord, how could he have missed how Aidan’s eyes were shaped like Catherine’s, how his hair was the same color as his mother’s? How could he, he thought, choking on emotion, have been face to face with his own son and not known it?

“I didn’t know,” he said, reaching for Aidan. “I swear I thought you were dead.”

Aidan stepped back, raised his hands. “Don’t touch me.” The venom in his voice stopped Cale more than his words.

Cale wiped his cheeks dry. It was all right. It would be all right. His son simply needed some time. But, by God, Cale shook with the effort it took to hold back. His son was there,
alive
, and he was desperate to grab him, hold on, and never again let him go.

“I searched for you. For you and your mother but I—”

Aidan dropped his hands and it pained Cale to see them curl into fists. “Not once in the time I sailed with you did you ever mention a wife or a son.”

“Because I believed you dead. You and your mother meant the world to me. You know I’m not much for conversation of any sort, let alone something so personal. I was hardly going to discuss such a matter on the quarterdeck or over a cup of grog. Just because I never said anything doesn’t mean—”

“Mean what? That you actually gave a damn?” Aidan spoke over Cale. “For the past fifteen years I’ve had no memory of what happened, of where I came from. But you did. You knew you had a son, knew he and I would be the same age. Did you not once wonder, look a little closer?”

“Did I ever look at you and think of Caden? Yes, on occasion, but I was hardly looking for family resemblances. You were Aidan Bradley, my first mate. There was no reason to look any deeper.”

“Well, God dammit, maybe you should have! Maybe you should have looked in that vast expanse of love you claim to have for me and my mother and—” Aidan swallowed, turned to the sea.

Luke stepped to Aidan’s side, put a hand on his shoulder. Damn, it should be Cale comforting the boy, not Luke.

“If you give me—” Cale attempted to reason with Aidan.

Aidan spun on his heel and Cale was blasted by the fury in his son’s eyes. “I’m not giving you anything. It’s been fifteen years since Roche attacked and the last four of those I spent with you. Every day with you.” He emphasized. “You had your chance.”

“I know and I’m sorry. I wish—”

“Wishes are pointless. I learned that after Roche stole me and murdered my mother.”

Cale felt the verbal blow as sure as if it he’d been hit by a fist in the stomach. While he reeled from the impact, his son squared his shoulders.

“I’m going after Roche.” He stated before disappearing up the path.

“Aidan, wait.” Cale turned to follow but Luke grabbed him by the forearm, yanked him back and snarled. “Leave him alone. You’ve done enough damage.”

It was one thing to have Aidan blame him, but Luke had no right to pass judgment. “Get your hands off me!” Cale shoved Luke back, wincing when the motion speared white-hot pain from his wound. “You know nothing of what I went through.”

Luke’s good eye widened. “What you went through? Do you have any idea what that boy went through? He’s lived through hell.”

Yes, Cale knew the boy had. And the knowing hollowed out a piece of his soul. His son had suffered because his father hadn’t been there to protect him. But it wasn’t as though Cale hadn’t tried to find him, hadn’t grieved and blamed himself ever since. God dammit, what more could he have done?

“I know Aidan’s suffered but he’s not the only one. I came home to find a house filled with blood and my wife and son gone. Do you know what it’s like not knowing what happened to those you love? Imagining the worst, day after day, until you go mad with it?”

“I’ll tell you what I know.” Luke snarled. “You were with him every day for the past four years and, as he said, you never once talked of a son or a wife and suddenly you expect him to believe you’re happy you found him?”

“Of course I’m bloody happy! I thought he was lost to me. You’d feel the same if you were standing where I am.”

“I would have recognized my own flesh.” Luke stated. “Had I been standing where you are.” He taunted.

Cale’s lips peeled back. “I’m not justifying myself to you. This is between me and Aidan.”

Luke went toe-to-toe with Cale, despite being shorter and outweighed. “You hurt my boy, which means I’m involved whether you like it or not.”

“He’s
my
son.” Cale shot back. “And
you’ll
have to deal with that whether
you
like it or not.”

“You think he’ll forgive you for not recognizing him when he was standing right in front of your bloody eyes? I know I wouldn’t were I in his shoes.”

Outrage had Cale’s hands curling into fists. “I saw him, damn it! But in my mind my son was five. I believed Caden to be dead. It’s not as though I looked at every young man his age and wondered. I had no reason to look!”

“Well, I hope that eases your conscience.” Luke sneered before marching off.

Cale blew out a troubled breath, fought the impulse to shove Luke aside, and chase after Aidan. Instead, he decided to let Luke win this battle. They all needed some time. Cale sure as hell did.

Still reeling from tonight’s events, he walked woodenly to the water’s edge and looked out to sea.
Caden’s alive
.
My God.
It was a miracle. One he’d long ago stopped believing in. He’d had to. Had to or he’d have broken under the endless disappointment and defeat.

Instead, he’d had Caden all along these last four years.

Cale ran a hand down his face and, for a moment, was surprised he didn’t feel the familiar bristle of his beard. He remembered Aidan’s expression when he’d first seen his captain’s clean-shaven face. He’d peered at him as though something about Cale’s new look was familiar. Now he knew. Now they both did.

Despite the words that had been spoken, the bitterness Aidan was carrying, a smile curved Cale’s lips. Aye, Aidan was angry and hurt, but Cale knew the kind of man his son had turned into and knew with time Aidan would forgive him. They’d had four years to build a relationship and while it wasn’t one of father and son, he knew there to be respect on both sides. Aidan would remember that. And once the emotions settled and Cale had a chance to better explain how he had searched, how he’d grieved, they could form the kind of relationship Cale had believed gone forever.