Her Homecoming Cowboy (13 page)

Annie had no way of saying no to that, and so she would be escorted to Gabi and Jess’s wedding by Colt. It was a nerve-racking thought.

The plan had been revealed to her today and her stomach was still rolling.

“Aunt Annie,” Leo called, shocking Annie by putting the
aunt
first...but then it really wasn’t a shock. Leo was growing up. She’d seen something else in him change since they’d been hanging around with Colt. He seemed more secure. More confident. The Annie Aunt tag was her special nickname, but Annie knew with maturity things would change. It was a normal, good thing.

“What, kiddo?”

“I’m working my spurs,” he called, and as Colt pulled the rope, Leo pulled his knees up, then let his heels come down on the sides of the barrel as if he were riding a bull. To her dismay, he had great form.

“Pull me faster, Colt!” he called, doing well as the barrel went back and forth.

Smiling, Colt yanked a little harder. “Ride ’em, cowboy,” he called, and gave it another gentle yank.

“Yee-haw!”
Leo yelled just before he lost his balance and fell into the soft dirt. He yelled in pain the moment he hit the dirt—Colt and Annie reacted instantly.

Colt was closer and was kneeling beside him first.

“What’s wrong, son?” he asked, worry etching his face.

Leo was writhing and holding his shoulder. Colt cringed.

“My arm,” Leo whimpered.

“Looks like we need to make a trip to the Ranger emergency room.”

“Ohhh,” Annie groaned. “He could have a break.”

Gathering him up, Colt used his healthy arm to carry Leo to the car. Annie followed him as he strode to his truck. “Do you want to drive and me to hold him, or do you want to hold him and me to drive?”

“My hands are shaking. Do you think you could drive?”

“Hop in. Let’s roll.” After she climbed into the seat and got strapped in, he gently placed Leo in her arms.

“It’s going to be okay,” he said, then hurried around and slid behind the wheel.

Within minutes they were on the road and heading to Ranger. It was an hour drive to Ranger. Leo groaned as they hit a bump.

The look of alarm on Colt’s face as he looked in their direction made Annie’s heart jerk even harder. The love mixed with terror for his son was unmistakable. Annie held Leo loosely so she wouldn’t hurt him more and prayed that God would get them safely to the emergency room.

Chapter Thirteen

“T
hanks, Doctor,” Colt said, shaking the doctor’s hand.

Annie hugged Leo and shook the young doctor’s hand, too. “We appreciate all you’ve done.”

The doctor grinned. “It’s what I do. Take care, Leo. And better luck on the next rodeo.”

Leo looked a little forlorn. “I sure wanted to ride in that rodeo.” He held his arm up with its brand-new, bright blue cast. “But I got this now.”

“And all your friends can sign it,” Annie reminded him.

“Oh, yeah.” He grinned up at Colt. “Can you give me your autograph?”

Colt looked torn, confusing Annie yet again. He’d probably signed many, many autographs. Was he conflicted because Leo was his son? That didn’t strike her as the reason he was acting weird.

“You know, Leo, maybe you should just have your friends sign your cast.”

Leo frowned. “But I want you. You’re my hero.”

Colt pulled a pen out of his pocket. “I’ll sign, but I’m just a cowboy, Leo. I happen to be good at riding bulls. Heroes are people who make a difference in people’s lives. I want you to know that. I’m signing this because you’re my...my friend. Okay?”

Leo grinned. “I like being your friend. But you
are
a hero. You just don’t know it.”

Annie’s heart warmed at Leo’s words. He was encouraging Colt. Colt was inspiring kids to achieve success and he was doing it by being a good role model. In that, he was a hero.

She’d been so worried about Leo, it had been a relief to have Colt with them.

As it was. He helped Leo off the examining table and, with a grin her way, they all walked out the door and down the hall. Nurses who had helped them waved and called goodbye. A few recognized Colt, and she could tell they had gotten special attention from a couple of them that had nothing to do with the fact that Leo was a darling little boy with a broken arm. Colt hadn’t flirted back when they’d flirted and, in fact, he’d looked uncomfortable even.

“Tell the nice ladies goodbye, Leo. And thank them for fixing you up real nice,” Colt said, placing a possessive hand on Leo’s shoulder.

“Yes, sir,” Leo said. “Y’all did real good,” he called. “Thanks.”

“Watch out for the barrels and the ground next time,” one of the younger nurse’s aides said as she came around the desk and smiled at Leo. Annie didn’t miss that she touched Colt’s arm and slid a folded paper into his hand. Annie almost gasped out loud, she was so shocked by the woman’s actions. But it was the jealousy that curled in the pit of her stomach that shocked her the most. They weren’t a couple, but this nurse didn’t know that, yet she was stuffing her phone number into his palm.

As they exited the building, she was feeling really low. She faced the fact that she’d been thrilled and relieved that Colt was with her during the emergency. He’d taken control and made her feel that everything was going to be okay. His support had...it had touched her. That feeling had dissipated the instant he’d accepted the note.

As they were passing a trash can beside the exit door, she was startled once more when he quietly dropped the note inside. Annie’s heart soon strummed with happiness. Colt caught her looking and winked.

A warm smile spread across her face and there was absolutely no way she could stop it from happening.

Leo fell asleep in the truck almost before they’d left the parking lot. Annie glanced into the backseat where he’d leaned his head against the armrest. “He’s out,” she said as she faced back toward the road. “This wore him down.”

“It’s made for a late night. Did you realize it’s almost midnight?”

Annie propped her elbow on the door and rubbed her forehead with her fingertips. “No wonder Leo’s passed out.”

“He was a little trouper, wasn’t he?” Colt looked proud and it did something to her insides. Almost everything he did or said, every look he gave her, caused her to feel something.

“Thank you for being there,” she said, sitting up straight and facing him as best she could. She couldn’t chance saying he was his daddy, not even with Leo sleeping. What if he overheard her? No, she didn’t want to take that risk.

“Hey, I’m glad I was. I feel bad.” He briefly met her eyes in the dim light of the dashboard. “You can say I told you so if you want.”

She chuckled. “I’m not saying that. I’m sorry he got hurt, but I guess if you’re going to be good at something you’re going to have ups and downs as you hone your skills. Leo was really enjoying himself.”

“So was I. Annie, thank you for bringing Leo to Mule Hollow to meet me. I need to tell you that.” She didn’t look at him but saw his good hand grip the wheel tighter.

She sighed. “That’s why I came. When I got trapped in the shed and couldn’t get out and I thought I was going to die...all I could think about was that Leo was going to have to go into foster care because he had no one. Or at least they believed he had no one.” Tears welled in her eyes, and when she looked at Colt there was no way to hide them. “He deserved better than that. I’ve told you all of this before. But, well, it was a relief to me tonight to have you there.”

They stared at each other for a heartbeat before he looked back at the road. Annie found herself wishing...she pushed the thought out of her crazy head. She wasn’t wishing for anything except for Colt to admit to Leo that he was his daddy. She closed her eyes in the darkness and prayed that it would be so. That Colt would deal with whatever was keeping him from admitting it.

And she tried her best not to think about how much his presence, his kiss and his strength meant to her as a woman. This was all about Leo.

“I still can’t believe,” Colt said, looking at Leo in the rearview mirror. No mistaking, the kid was sacked out sound asleep. His eyes were closed and he snored gently against the armrest. “I can’t believe I missed out on this little guy. I mean, I know my career was my life and I made that clear to women who were interested. I just didn’t want any of them to get the idea that I was anywhere near settling down. I had no intention of stringing anyone along.” He concentrated on the driving, watching the road intently. “I have enough memories of a childhood gone bad to last me a lifetime. I certainly didn’t want to string anyone along.”

“Can I ask about your childhood?” Annie asked.

Colt told her about his alcoholic dad and the neglect. He told her about his mother leaving and how Luke had taken responsibility for him and Jess. “When we moved here, I think my dad was running from bill collectors. Luke found a real job here working for Clint Matlock’s dad, Mac. Our life started getting better then, because Luke was such a mature kid and took on a lot. And the town was good to us. Mac would pay Luke bonuses for working hard. It was his way of helping without making us think we were taking charity. Of course, I was too young and Luke always made sure I had food.”

He didn’t talk about his past to anyone but Jess and Luke. And even then not much. His mother was back in their lives, but it hadn’t been easy. They’d all made their peace with her, because as Luke said, it was the right thing to do. But she wasn’t in the picture much, since she lived in Fredericksburg. He told this to Annie, too.

Annie ran her long, slender finger along the edge of the console, Colt liking the look of her hands. He liked the look of Annie. She was thin, but not as thin as when she’d first come to town.

“You were lucky to have Luke and Jess,” she said. “You were only two years older than Leo when your parents basically abandoned you.”

“You were younger than that, weren’t you?” he observed. “How could anyone leave their kids on a church step and walk away? Especially a two-year-old and a three-year-old?”

“We had messed-up childhoods, Colt. But I don’t want that for Leo. I’m so glad I brought him here.”

When they finally reached Annie’s house, Leo woke as Colt carried him inside. Annie wasn’t sure how Colt managed it with his injured arm, but he insisted on carrying his son. Annie watched Colt place Leo in his bed after she’d turned back his covers. Her heart ached for the tender picture they made. “You did good, little buddy,” Colt told him quietly, his voice husky.

Leo looked half-asleep. “You did, too.” He sighed, his eyes closed as he drifted back off. “I love you....” His words slurred as he curled up and was gone.

Colt froze. Annie’s heart clutched tightly for Leo. When Colt looked up at her from where he knelt, smoothing his son’s forehead, there was no denying the moisture glistening in his eyes.

“This is special, isn’t it?”

Annie wrapped her arms tight across her stomach and tried to lock her heart down, but it was impossible. “There’s nothing like it,” she whispered, knowing the undeniable truth—Colt Holden did something to her that breached her defenses and tempted her to let them fall away completely.

Colt looking at his son with such love filled her with longing for the family she’d always dreamed of. The family she was too afraid to open her heart to.

* * *

Colt followed Annie out onto the porch. His heart was full and every fiber in him wanted to claim Leo as his. It was a burning desire that seared his soul and cried out for the missing portion. On the porch he grabbed Annie in a tight hug. She was startled. “Thank you, Annie. Thank you for bringing my son into my life.”

She was speechless and he could understand why, since he’d grabbed her roughly, like a madman. Letting her go, he strode toward his truck. He needed to put distance between them and the feeling of home and hearth that had settled around him like the wrappings of a long-dreamed-of Christmas present. This was a present he didn’t deserve, and he couldn’t let himself linger too long in the land of fantasy.

Distance and the light of day. That’s what he needed. Tomorrow he’d have his head on straight. Tomorrow he’d have his heart put back behind the shield he’d come to need where Leo—and Annie—were concerned.

Chapter Fourteen

“A
unt Annie,” Leo said the next morning. His hair was tousled from sleep as he scooted into the chair and stared at the cocoa cereal she’d poured into his bowl.

“Yes, sweetie. You feeling all right this morning?” Annie had checked him through the night. Not sleeping much herself, she’d been pleased to see that his slumber had been deep.

“Yes, ma’am.” He studied his cereal and then looked thoughtfully up at her. “I wish Colt was my daddy.”

And there it was. Air whooshed out of Annie as if she’d been punched in the stomach. What could she say to that? She had been totally naive to not think this was coming.

“Well, he signed your cast. That’s special, isn’t it? Eat up, honey, we’re running late today.”

She couldn’t look at her nephew. Couldn’t tell him what she knew in her heart was the right thing to say...and it broke her heart. The memory of Colt’s arms holding her close sent butterflies swarming across her heart.

Shaken, she hurried to dress for work and didn’t let her thoughts dwell on the emotions swirling around her about Colt. This was about Leo. It had always been about Leo.

And Leo wanted his daddy.

Could she change this for the little boy she loved more than anything in the world?

Pausing while putting on her mascara, Annie met her own gaze in the mirror. “You are going to give Leo his daddy.” She hiked a brow. “And you aren’t going to stop until it is a reality. No backing down.” Nodding at her reflection, she caught the glint of determination in her eyes. It dug deep. “No backing down,” she repeated with a determination that refused to be denied.

* * *

Gabi and Montana were thrilled to have Annie drop Leo off at their house after work that afternoon. The two secret aunts were about to burst, wanting to spoil Leo. The desire for Leo to have it all was pushing Annie on as she hugged Gabi.

“Wish me luck... I mean, pray for me.”

“We’ve got your back, Annie. Jess and Luke are right here with us. Leo is a pure gift from God. And you don’t know it yet, but so are you. If you hadn’t come, this wouldn’t be a possibility. In the midst of his pain and his tragedy, God’s had a plan.”

“Colt has to agree to it, though,” Annie reminded her.

Montana came back from getting Leo set up with cookies at the kitchen table. “We’re going to pray for his heart and his eyes to be opened. Now, you go get him, Annie.”

* * *

Colt tested his shoulder as he tugged a bale of hay from the back of the flatbed trailer. The sun was a sizzler today. He felt certain that if he laid a piece of bacon on the steel wheel guard of the trailer, it would fry within minutes.

In the distance there was a dark cloud forming. It was the first hint of rain in months. Studying the cloud, Colt paused to swipe his forehead with the back of his arm, and he prayed that God would see fit to bless Mule Hollow with a good, soaking rain. And then he went back to unloading the hay. Heat or rain, it felt good to be exerting his pent-up energy.

Especially when his thoughts were so jumbled up. He hadn’t slept at all after dropping Annie and Leo off at home. He hadn’t wanted to leave. It had been all he could do to walk out of the house and leave them behind.

Part of the reason he’d been so disturbed was that it wasn’t only Leo he didn’t want to leave, but Annie, too.

She’d been so strong during the crisis when Leo had fallen off the barrel. She’d been shaken, yet held it together as they’d loaded him up and headed to the hospital. Colt was angry with God about the unjust death of the Everson family, but he had to be thankful and he had to praise God for sending Annie to keep his child safe and happy during the years when Jennifer had left him out of the equation.

His anger about that still ran high and always would... But Annie had been stuck between a rock and a hard place. He’d forgiven her for that, his resentment having dissipated over time as he watched her with his son.

He thought of how fiercely he’d wanted to hold her when he knew she was worried and trying to be strong. How much he’d wanted to be there for her when she’d told him how much his presence had meant to her.

Colt tossed the hay bale off the truck, then stared off in the distance—he had no right to want more from her. He had no right to want them.

But he did.

A plume of dust rose up over the hill line where the road trailed back in the direction he had come. A car or truck was heading his way. Through his dark aviator shades he watched the car top the hill—Annie.

His insides clamored at the sight of her old car. Stripping off his leather gloves, he hopped from the back of the trailer, his shoulder jarring only a little from the impact.

He tossed his gloves to the trailer and was waiting when she came to a halt. “Hey,” he said the minute she got out of the car. “Everything okay? Is Leo all right this morning?”

Annie’s brow was knit tight and her eyes were steady on him as she closed her car door. “Leo is good. He’s with Montana and Gabi.”

“Really.” He could see she had something on her mind by the telling sign of her eyes, dulled by sleeplessness or worry.

“They are his aunts.” Her eyes flashed. “What are you doing with these bales?” she asked, climbing up on the trailer and staring at the hay bales.

Perplexed by her behavior, Colt decided the smart thing to do in the face of the steam edging from beneath her tightly wound temper was to go with the flow. Let her ease back some of the anger building under there, and then push.

“I’m tossing it off in sections.” Before he got the sentence out, she started trying to pick up the bale to throw it off the trailer. Startled by her assertiveness, he could only watch her stubborn attempt at tossing the heavy bale. Grunting, her face was red with exertion and determination. She managed to get the hay bale up, half tossed it with one more push, then got it off the trailer. The woman had something on her mind and it didn’t take a genius to figure out what it was. He knew she wanted him to tell Leo he was his daddy.

“You’ve got muscles for a skinny girl,” he teased, because he didn’t know what else to say to her. He couldn’t tell her what she wanted him to tell her. No matter how much he wanted to.

She was breathing hard from her efforts and glared down at him. “I need to start working out. This is labor intensive.”

He chuckled despite the undercurrent running between them. She knew he knew why she was here. Staring at each other, it almost felt as though they were in a boxing ring together and were circling, getting ready to make the next move. “Ranching isn’t just watching the grass grow and the cattle eat.”

“Ha! Especially right now, when there isn’t any grass to speak of.” She grunted, taking another deep breath as she eyed another bale.

She was cute, standing up there in her oversize orange T-shirt, jeans and jogging shoes. Her hair was loose today, falling in a silky sheet of gold-and-bronze tones. Looking at her, Colt smiled. It reached in deep, shooting at the darkness curled up inside him.

She reached for another bale, but Colt stopped her. “I need to move the truck down a little ways before dropping more.”

She stopped what she was doing and sank to the edge of the trailer, dangling her legs off the side. Instead of hopping to the ground, she remained seated. “Thank you again for being there yesterday.”

“I was the cause of his fall. I’m glad I was there to get him some help. I’m going to be there from here on out, Annie. It’s going to be all right.”

“It’s
not
going to be all right, Colt. It’s not.”

Her words were edged with despair and it tore at Colt, even as he was prepared to deflect her argument that he needed to tell Leo.

“Leo told me this morning, before I took him to day care, that he wished you were his daddy.”

Her words were soft-spoken though he knew she wanted to scream them at him. His heart cracked—the pain, a violent quake, rocked through him. Leo wished he was Colt’s son.

Every ounce of willpower he had, every bit of strength and skill it took to ride the meanest, toughest bulls he’d ever ridden didn’t rank close to what it took to pull the edges of his heart together and force himself to shut down the need to tell Leo the truth. He couldn’t do it. Wouldn’t.

Colt’s disgust with himself was too deep.

“Doesn’t that get to you?” she asked.

“Yes, it does. How could it not?”

“Then tell him.”

“I can’t, Annie. No matter how much I want to do this... Look, Annie, I just can’t.”

Annie hopped from the trailer and looked up at him, searching his eyes as if she could probe deep enough to find answers.

“Why? Don’t you get it, Colt—this morning I couldn’t say anything. What was I supposed to say? You’ll just have to do with him being your hero, honey, because he’s not your dad.
That
would have been a lie. There will be more and more times when I’ll be compromised like that. You have to tell him, Colt.”

“I don’t
have
to do anything, Annie,” he said vehemently.

Annie tried to hold on to her temper. It was an odd combination that she felt toward Colt. She wanted to hold him and tell him everything was going to be fine. She wanted to shake him and tell him to step out of the fog of self-pity—but she knew that wasn’t what he felt. It was a worthlessness that he felt. But Leo needed him, and with every day that passed she realized more and more how much.

“Colt, I understand that this tragedy that you’ve lived through has caused you terrible pain and guilt. But you can’t continue to use it as an excuse not to claim your child.”
Please, Father, help get this through his thick skull!
The prayer shook her. She wanted this more than anything she’d ever wanted. She wanted Colt to be Leo’s daddy more than any prayer she’d ever prayed for her parents to come back and claim her as a child. The truth hit her. “Do you know how badly I wanted my parents to walk back into my life and claim me? I prayed every night for that to happen. I’m fairly certain that Jennifer’s behavior stems back to our abandonment, too, in its own way. I’m so, so sorry you were hurt by not being told about Leo. I’m so sorry you were hurt by the part you played in the Everson family’s deaths. The loss of that sweet family is tragic. But you couldn’t help it. And you can’t fix it now. The tragedy of you not claiming your son is something you
can
fix. You have control over that. How much more tragic will it be if one day Leo finds out you are his father, and knew it but still didn’t claim him?”

Colt strode away from her and she followed him. “Colt, where are you going?”

He spun. “Nowhere. I’m just thinking. Annie, I don’t...deserve him.”

“Stop that. Stop it right now. God gave him to you, so He must have decided you do deserve him. Jesus died on the cross for us and we don’t deserve that, but we got it anyway. Leo was born from you and Jennifer. He’s yours. God loves you, Colt Holden, and He knows you’re hurting and full of sorrow. And He knows you’re angry.” Annie pulled the paper that she’d written at work from her pocket. “Colt, Ecclesiastes says,
‘There’s a time for everything, a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance
.
’
There is a time to weep as you’re soul has been doing. But now it’s time to laugh—and not feel guilty. It’s time for you to stop hating yourself for the accident and start loving your son and the life God is giving you the opportunity to have. Your son needs you. Please, please, don’t throw away your God-given time with Leo. Don’t look back with regret one day.” She reached for his hand and placed the paper in his palm, then closed his fingers around the carefully printed words. “Think about it. Pray about it.”

Colt stared at the paper in his hand. “I’m not telling Leo.”

“Just like that. You’ve made your choice.” There just was no reasoning with this man! Throwing up her hands, she stomped back toward her car.

She couldn’t believe what she was hearing.

“Annie—”

“What?” she asked, whirling around. Her mind was reeling. “I need to get out of here because my mind is stuck on verse three of Ecclesiastes 30.”

He blinked. “What does it say?”

“There’s a time to kill! That’s what it says.”

“It also says a time to heal.”

“And a time to die.”

He shook his head. “Annie, come on. Cut me some slack here.”

Annie reached and cupped his face. “Colt, please,
please
wake up. Your son needs you as his daddy. Not as his bull-riding hero. I’ll give you time because I have no choice.” Before she dropped her hands from his face, she leaned in and kissed him. Her lips met his and the energy surging between them ignited. Annie gasped when Colt’s arms came fiercely about her and he pulled her hard against him. Her mind got fuzzy as the sensations overtook all thought. Suddenly he broke the kiss and buried his face in her neck as he clung to her. They were both breathing hard, and Annie couldn’t speak, so stunned by what had just passed between them that she couldn’t form words. All she could do was know that when he let her go, nothing was ever going to be the same again. Colt Holden had just tipped her world on edge and she was dangerously teetering on falling over.

A time to love...
Another line from Ecclesiastes struck her like an arrow to the heart. A time for everything...and this was her time to leave. Pulling out of his arms, they stared at each other, and he looked as stunned as she felt. His warm brown eyes were as muddled as stirred-up muddy water. Annie spun around and this time made it to her car without him following her or calling her back.

It was just as well, because she wouldn’t have stopped or turned around this time. She was hightailing it out of Dodge and she was moving fast.

Why, oh why, did love always end up becoming a no-win situation?