Her Heart's Desire (16 page)

When we will see peace again?

The wound ran to the bone. It was neat, not ragged. A sword had likely been the cause. If she could keep it from festering, he might live. If not...at best he'd lose his limb. At worst, he would die. And Erik would probably have her head for not saving his eldest son.

The door opened and snow swirled in ahead of Ealasaid.

“Has he spoken again?” Ealasaid's eyes were wide, her face full of fear.

“Nothing, my lady. I'm sorry.” Of course her sister-in-law longed for fresh news of her husband. Idunna's heart ached for the queen.

“Will he live?”

“I hope. If Eir sees fit.”
The goddess of healing must grow tired of my prayers.
“We will do all we can for him. You should be resting.”

“I need to be here in case—” A sob cut off Ealasaid's words.

The boy died? Or he woke with word of Hella? “It may be some time before he wakes.”

Ealasaid wiped away her tears. “Birgir will be heartbroken that such poor luck has fallen on his friend.”

“The two are close. When Erland is feeling better, Birgir can see him.”

Eoghann burst into the hut. His gaze hardened when he saw his sister. “I told you to remain in place.”

“I had to see him. The boy is my nephew. His father is my husband's closest friend.” Ealasaid lifted her chin. “Do not presume to issue orders to me.”

“Then remain here to help Idunna if she requires it. I will keep Birgir at my side. It seems necessary to—” Eoghann shuddered. “To take inventory of the available weapons. We may be attacked any time. The villagers should be prepared and there's no one else to do it. If they need repairs to their weapons, I will do them. We must be ready.” He squared his shoulders. “I will do what I can to make sure we are protected and safe from intruders.”

Ealasaid blinked. “I thought you had no wish to make or repair weapons.”

“Sadly, sister, in times of need, the most sacred vows form cracks.” Darkness lingered in Eoghann's eyes. “Aethelred will stand guard outside. Come for me if Erland wakes. I need a word.”

* * * *

Working a forge in frigid open air wasn't ideal. Eoghann stuffed another stick of wood into the mouth. The heat warmed his fingers for a moment.

“It will nae take long. A crude shelter with three sides is better than none. It would keep the wind off the metal while you worked. We could have something up in a day.” Aethelred walked ten feet behind the forge, then marked the space with the toe of his boot. “That's more important than the lodges now. We have too many unprotected families here.”

Eoghann shook his head. “You defended yourselves by hiding and with a few rusted blades. It comes as a surprise so many of you survived this long.”

“We have bows. Plenty of arrows. Knives and hammers. Pitchforks, if nothing else. Forgive us for nae training as warriors while we struggled tae survive, m'lord.” Aethelred's tone was light. “It's the best we can do. My da, he died attempting tae defend yours. I had nae one tae teach me swordplay.”

“I mean no insult.” Eoghann took the notch-edged blade Aethelred had brought. “I can smooth the edges and make it sharper. You know how to use it. Properly, I mean?”

“A bit. Do nae cut meself on the pointy end.” Aethelred shrugged. “I'll send Leofric to round up as many more swords as he can find. We're nae cowards. Merely cautious when strangers come here. It's easier tae hide than fight when our numbers are so few.”

“There's truth in your logic.” Eoghann placed the sword blade into the fire. Heat the metal, make it malleable, recreate it. All for Hella and this fight the king had brought innocent people into. Ealasaid would be displeased if she knew the anger Eoghann harbored for her husband right now.

“I'll keep a sharp eye on your woman folk, m'lord. Do nae worry about them.”

“I trust you. Please send Birgir to me. It might be best to have Hild deliver Fulla to my sister. Ealasaid will want to keep the baby near.”

“Of course, m'lord.” Aethelred made a short bow. “I'm sure we'll defeat any trouble that sniffs us out.”

“Pray to any god you believe in. We need all the help the heavens can summon.”

If Athelred begrudged Eoghann for the danger he'd brought to Suibhne, it didn't show. The man calmly accepted that a battle might be coming, and promised to be as much help as he could. The world needed more even tempered men.

Eoghann warmed his hands as the blade heated. Months had gone by since he last lifted a hammer to create or repair a weapon. He preferred the soothing techniques of goldsmithing or glass work. Preferred making beautiful things in a world full of darkness and grief. It seemed that was not his calling. But to save his family, he would do anything.

The world was coated in the blood of his enemies as it was. A few more could make no difference.

Chapter Eighteen

Shuffling footsteps pulled Idunna from a doze. She stretched her aching neck as male voices reached her ears.

“Nothing seems amiss, m'lord. All's quiet.” Aethelred's words were low, but the walls were thin enough to make out every sound.

“This is yours. A fine sword. I pray you won't need it.” Eoghann's voice, deeper and more melodic to her, dragged away her weariness.

He'd returned from the forge safely, but there wasn't time for pleasantries.

In the low firelight, Erland slept with his face turned toward the opposite wall. He hadn't woken yet, a fact that would disappoint Eoghann.

Only a short time ago, Ealasaid had taken Birgir back to the hut they'd claimed. Ealasaid had paced for hours after Idunna finished packing Erland's wound. In the time Idunna had known her sister-in-law, she'd learned patience wasn't one of Ealasaid's strongest virtues. The wait to find out what Erland knew of Hella must be eating Ealasaid like a starved wolf.

Eoghann came through the doorway, shoulders stooped, hair wild, cloak crooked, and his face a mask of lines. He hadn't appeared so defeated since the meeting of the jarls to determine whether they would hang him or let him live.

“You should be asleep.” His face relaxed a bit as he took her in.

“I was until a moment ago. I heard you outside.” She unclasped his cloak. “We should leave as Erland said.”

He glanced toward the boy. “He's badly wounded.”

“Not so badly as I first feared. He's exhausted, but I think he will be able to travel in a day or two.” She took his icy hands. “He's strong.”

“Where would we go?” Eoghann lowered his head closer to hers. “Where would we hide from our enemies?”

“Perhaps we could stay among the Scots. Maigread would welcome us, I'm sure.”

“Your heart believes we can trust her, but it remains to be seen. Besides, the men who want to wipe Hella's line from this world would not hesitate to remove a few Scots from their path.”

She sighed. “I feared you might say that.”

“
Vikingrs
don't run. We band together during the hard times and work as one for the good of all.” A soft smile curled his lips. “Isn't that so?”

“I don't know who you are. Saxon? Norse? It's hard for me to see.”

“Does it matter?” He pressed his forehead against hers. “Can I be Eoghann and still be enough?”

She tightened her hold on his hands. “I would rather miss the sun than you.”

“Cold comfort, me or darkness, when you're also missing the child you desire.”

That particular desire only gave a small tug at her heart. “Times are difficult for bringing children into the world.”

“Times have always been difficult. I can count on my fingers how often I truly felt safe.” Behind his stoic expression, a hurt lingered in his eyes. “Has something changed? You no longer wish to bear my children?”

“Nothing could take that wish from me.” She lifted her hand, then cupped his face. The bristly whiskers on his cheek rubbed her palm. His skin was warm, soft, and she longed for the feel of him inside her. “I still hope to bear you many children who will honor us.”

“I'd take you to bed now if we were alone.”

“I'd like that. For now, the best we can do is to find some rest. You must be weary.”

“It seems I was born that way. I see the exhaustion on your face too. Caring for my sister and Erik's son must cause you some weariness as well.”

“I've always cared for others. From the time I was old enough to hold a squalling babe. Someone always needed my attention.” She settled down on the blankets. “Come, let me rub some of the tension from your shoulders.”

He stepped around behind her. “You are still recovering from your swim in the river. Let me tend you.”

“I am well enough.” Worry pressed on her shoulders, but her needs seemed so small compared to those of the others. “You should sleep.”

“Soon,” he promised. Eoghann kneeled behind her, then put his big hands on her shoulders. “Tight as a bow string.”

She lowered her head. “I hadn't noticed.”

“I should have remembered sooner.”

“You were working hard.”

“So hard, I nearly forgot I had a wife. I'm a fool.”

“Only sometimes.” She bit back a moan as his fingers rubbed a sore spot. He paused. “Please don't stop.”

“To hear you say that if I were inside you.” He pressed his lips close to her ear, his voice no more than a whisper. “I cannot wait for that moment.” He nipped her earlobe.

She covered her mouth with her hand and prayed for her heart to stop racing. “Eoghann, you cannot say such things. Not now.”

“Forgive me.” His tongue graced the shell of her ear.

“Nor do such things.” She pressed her thighs together. “You'll drive me mad with longing.”

“Both of us.” He blew a cool breath across her damp ear. “We should sleep.”

Or sneak away. Surely just for a while we could spend some time alone.
But she didn't dare suggest it. If an enemy came into the settlement and hurt her friends and family, the guilt would never vanish.

“Hold me closely. I need your touch.” She stretched out, then pulled the blanket up.

He undressed and slid in beside her. “We will be together in my dreams.” His hands caressed her through the wool dress. “They will be good dreams, indeed.”

“When all this is over and we are home again, I will keep you in bed for a week.”

“I pray to the gods each night for that.” He brushed his lips over her forehead. His erection pressed into her stomach. “Being near you and unable to have you is a far worse punishment than hanging.”

She found his mouth, then pressed her tongue along his.

He grunted in approval, grabbed her, and slid her on top of him.

Idunna glanced toward Erland, but he hadn't moved. She pushed one finger against Eoghann's lips. With her other hand, she raised the hem of her dress, then lowered herself over his shaft.

He bucked beneath her.

She sank her teeth into her lower lip to stifle a moan as he pushed deep inside her. Rough hands cupped her buttocks, urging her to move faster. The time for savoring him would come later. If they survived an attack.

She opened her eyes, met his gaze. Fierce love for him filled her. She pressed him deep inside her again. “I love you, Eoghann.”

He froze.

“You need to hear it. Should the world we know end tomorrow, I love you with all my heart.”

He made a strangled sound, then tried to push her off him. “You don't mean it. I've caused you nothing but grief. Your husband—dead because of my brother. Your life upended because you saved me from the noose. Turned over again because we had to run. I all but forced you to come here.”

She sat firmly where she was. “All of it true, and all of it in the past. Wherever you are, I am home. Complete. Happy to be with you.”

A tear slid down the scarred side of his face. It glittered in the light before dropping to the blanket beneath his head. “How?”

“You've given everything you have to please me. I care not what anyone else believes. You are a good, kind man. The mistakes you made are washed clean. Remember them so you won't repeat them, but don't let them shadow your future.” She rocked atop him. “I love you.”

He gripped her hips, closed his eyes. With every stroke, he met her with an answering thrust.

It took care not to cry aloud when she shook with pleasure. He pulled her to his chest, kissed her hard to smother the noise she would have made.

Breathing hard, she lay against him. A soft puff of air lifted hair away from her ear.

“I love you too,” he whispered.

A tear to match his slipped down her cheek.
Please, Odin, don't take him from me. I can't bear to lose him.

* * * *

Eoghann worked knicks and chinks out of a few old swords. He straightened bent knives, even sharpened scythes. The men who came to him were farmers, not warriors. No more than forty people inhabited this rough settlement they dared call a village, but none of them shied when Aethelred told them a fight might come.

“If the Kentigern desires an army, an army he shall have.” Aethelred scraped a whetting stone across a long dagger. “There will never come a day when the men of Suibhne lay down and allow
vikingrs
to take what's theirs.”

“They already have. We've been beaten, burned out, and driven intae the forest before.” Leofric's face soured to accompany his bitter words. “Ye're daft if ye think we can beat blood-thirsty
Danes.”

“We were leaderless then. Now that the rightful master has returned, we have hope.” Aethelred scowled at his son. “If ye cannae say anything positive, say nothing.” He thrust a spear with a rusty tip at the boy. “Brush the rust off. While it would leave someone with a festering wound, there's nae need tae look as though we're the sorry bunch of farmers we are.”

“We'll all die if
he
leads us tae battle,” Leofric grumbled. He snatched the spear from his father's hand. “Slaughtered like sheep.”

“I'll send ye tae weave with yer ma and sister if ye do nae quiet yer mouth, boy.”

“We should surrender now. Give up before they ride in tae overwhelm—”

Eoghann cuffed the boy on the back of the head. “Enough. The difference between you and them is little. There are boys among the
vikingr
ranks who would never dream of questioning orders from their elders. They lift the weapons they are given, march into battle, and do not so much as cry when they are wounded. Even mortally. The Norsemen who fought at Freysteinn left the ground red with their blood, but they battled until they had no life to give. If you cannot stomach this, then by all means, go to the women.”

Leofric swallowed. “If ye love them so much, why not return tae yer king's side? Pass the title tae my father.”

“The enemy of my king is also the enemy of my people. I walk a thin line between the Saxon world and the Norse one. Why should I not care for both?”

“Because ye've brought that enemy here. Take them back tae yer wife's people. Leave us be.” Leofric threw down the spear. “I would not follow ye tae a stream much less intae a battle we have nae chance of surviving. The
vikingrs
have twice our numbers.”

“How would you know such a thing?” Eoghann narrowed his eyes. “Have you seen them?”

Leofric paled. “Nay. But they are many and we are few. Everyone knows.”

“We will defeat them. Hella's men won at Freysteinn because they knew no fear. We have reason to win.”

“What is that?” Leofric folded his arms.

“Because we love Suibhne. We would die for this place. It is ours and no one else's. Your father would die because he loves his wife, his family. He will fight to keep them safe. But he will live because he knows you need him.” Eoghann picked up the spear. “And you will fight at his side because you want to honor him.”

He offered the weapon.

Leofric glared. “I have more brains than that.” He turned, then ran.

Aethelred lowered his chin to his chest. “I'm sorry for my son, m'lord. He's a stubborn lad. I've nae idea what's gotten intae him.”

“He has no love for Norsemen. Nor Saxons who marry into them.” Eoghann pushed the tip of his finger against the spear. Dull. So poorly maintained, if thrown, it would likely bounce off any object in its path.

“Forgive me, m'lord. I'll speak tae him. Again.” Aethelred rose from his seat. “Though I do nae know another way tae say what I've already said.”

Birgir bounded toward them. “Erland is awake! You must come speak to him, Uncle Eoghann. He insists.”

“Does he have news of your father?” Eoghann leaned the spear against the crude wall the others had constructed to shelter the forge.

“Ma wouldn't let me talk to him. She sent me straight to you.” Birgir took his hand. “I can see him, though, after you speak, right?”

“If he's feeling well enough. We must not bother him too much. In a day or two, he will be much better.” He ruffled Birgir's hair with his free hand. While Birgir could brighten the worst day, Erland had been through enough without the never-ending attention of a young boy.

They crossed the open area to the hut.

“Wait outside. Just by the door. No wandering away, understand?”

Birgir frowned. “I remember. There are enemies close by.”

“Indeed.” He patted Birgir's shoulder. “I won't be but a moment.”

He opened the door.

Idunna's face brightened the moment she spotted him, but Ealasaid looked more drawn than ever. Erland was propped up on a stack of furs. His face seemed bloodless, his eyes sunken and mouth in a tight line.

“Christo, boy. I've seen dead fish with more life in them.” Eoghann kneeled by Erland's bed. “Talk, but don't strain yourself. Your recovery is more important than any message.”

Erland licked his dry lips. “Traitors throughout Ofan. Hella and the others fought their way free with a few refugees. Mostly thralls, a few women, children, and some elders. The weather has delayed their return to Solstad. Someone overheard him order me to find you. I was waylaid after the Scot village. Norseman with an axe.” He panted as he fought for breath. “Too dangerous here. Hella is days behind me. You must flee.”