Her Heart's Captain (5 page)

But it did matter. In the weeks since she and her mother had returned from Portsmouth, Jenny had reviewed the incident repeatedly in her mind although, fearful of a scold, she'd never told her mother a word about it. After all, she'd behaved foolishly from first to last, and listening to her mother belittle her conduct would not soothe her feelings of humiliation. But she'd felt an overpowering urge to confide in
someone
, and she'd related the entire incident in explicit detail to her dearest friend.

Andrea had listened to the tale with the most fascinated attention and had declared it to be a marvelous adventure. But what she couldn't understand was why Jenny seemed so depressed by it. After all, everything had turned out well, hadn't it? Robbie's baggage had been recovered, he'd gone happily off to sea, and Jenny had returned home unscathed. Why was she harping on the matter? “What I don't understand, my dear,” she remarked, “is why you're staring out of that window looking as low as a loaf of sad bread.”

Jenny smiled weakly. “
Distressful
bread, if it's Shakespeare you're quoting. I'm not low, exactly, but I
am
disturbed at having made such an idiot of myself.”

“I don't think you were so idiotic. After all,
anyone
might have been fooled by those thieves.”

“Perhaps, but that wasn't the full extent of my stupidity. Not only was I a dupe of those knaves, but in the company of that … impressive gentleman I behaved like a veritable wet-goose. Didn't I?”

“It doesn't seem so to me,” Andrea said, shrugging.

“Doesn't it? Don't you think I was … oh, too girlishly grateful, too trusting, too obviously eager for his companionship?” She pressed her palms to her cheeks. “Heavens, I
still
blush whenever I think of it.”

“I think you're making too much of it. Even if you
did
act a bit goosish, who will ever know? Even if the gentleman related the story to his friends, he can't identify you by name. He doesn't know it.”

Jenny sighed. “That's true enough. But I hate to have him remember me as a silly little
naif
.”

“My dear child,” Andrea said with her “air,” swinging her legs over the edge of the chaise and rising impressively to her feet, “the chances are that the gentleman doesn't remember you at all.”

“Yes,” Jenny agreed sadly, “that's the most lowering thought of all. Especially since I remember him so well.”

“Do you, Jenny?” Andrea looked over at her friend curiously. “He
must
have been impressive.”

“He was.” She drew her legs up on the seat, wrapped her arms around them and leaned her chin on her knees. “I remember everything about him, from the way the wind whipped at his dark hair to the way his boots gleamed when he strode off into the crowd.”

“Was he very handsome?” Andrea felt that an affirmative answer to
that
question might explain her friend's unusual obsession.

“No, not in the way you mean. His face was too dark and lined to be considered handsome, exactly. But he was … sinewy, you know … and rather steely. Very forceful in manner and appearance. One would have to say he was good to look at. Impressive, as I've said, and … and …”

“And memorable,” Andrea supplied drily.

Jenny smiled ruefully. “Yes, quite memorable.”

“Of course you must realize, Jenny, that your only course is to forget him, in spite of his being so memorable.”

“Yes, I realize that quite well,” Jenny said dejectedly. “In the first place, I acted like a ninny.”

“Yes, it seems so.”

“So he certainly didn't find me nearly as impressive as I found him. Which is probably why he didn't ask for my name or direction.”

“And which, even if he did, you couldn't properly have given him.”

“Quite true. And I don't know
his
name, either.”

“So that, memorable as he may be, he's not likely ever to cross your path again, is he?”

“Not likely at all.”

“Then you're in full agreement with me that the only course for you to take is to—”

“—to put him out of my mind.”

Andrea sauntered to the door. “Exactly. Forget him. And the sooner the better.”

But after Andrea had gone and Jenny's chin had sunk on her knees again, she gave a sad little snort. Forget him indeed. She'd been trying to do just that ever since her return from Portsmouth. Easier said than done.

Robbie had been gone for almost two months before the first word from him arrived at Wyndham, but then three letters arrived at once. They were delivered one May morning before Lady Garvin had come downstairs, and Cullum, the butler, knowing how eagerly his mistress had been watching for them, brought them upstairs to her abigail, who woke her at once.

A short while later, Jenny, who was lingering at the breakfast table wondering whether it would disturb her mother if she sat down so early at the pianoforte to practice the sonata by Haydn she'd purchased the day before, was startled by a noise in the hallway. The door of the. morning room burst open, and her mother (in a shocking state of
dishabille
, wearing only her nightdress) stormed in. She was waving a sheaf of papers and sputtering incoherently about Jenny's underhanded secrecy, flagrant immorality and treachery. “You've nipped your brother's career in the
bud
!” she declaimed. “And before it's even had a chance to bloom!”

“If I've nipped it in the bud, of course it hasn't had a chance to bloom,” Jenny said, laughing. “Whatever are you talking about, Mama?”

“Go ahead, laugh! It's all of a piece with your shameless conduct in Portsmouth. Jenny, how
could
you—?”

Jenny's smile faded. “But who—? How—?” Though utterly confused, Jenny could nevertheless feel herself coloring to the ears.

“Your brother has written about it.” She sank into a chair. “To think that a daughter of mine would comport herself like a common lightskirt!”

“
Lightskirt
? Really, Mama, I may have behaved unwisely, but surely Robbie doesn't say that I—”

“He says very little, but I can read between the lines. Taking up with a perfect stranger in a public place? How else can I interpret such conduct?”

“I should think you could find a less opprobrious interpretation if you tried,” her daughter said with a tinge of sarcasm. “But what has my conduct to do with Robbie's career?”

“Here. Read his account for yourself.” And she threw one of the letters across the table to Jenny's place.

Jenny smoothed the sheets and began to read.
Dear Mama and Jenny
, the boy had written,
I have been aboard the
Providential
for three days now and at Sea for two, and thus far I am finding it quite Disappointing. The work is very Difficult and Tiring, as I must stand Watch every four hours and never seem to get enough Sleep. On Duty, I must dash from Stem to Stern with messages, assist the Signalmen, help with the Guns during Gunnery Practice and assist the Lieutenants with Anything else they wish me to do. To make Matters worse, the Captain has taken a great Dislike to me, and that, Jenny, is all your Fault
.

My dealings with the Captain commenced in a most surprising Manner which I will relate to you in Detail since I have almost an hour until eight Bells when I have the Watch again. I had not been aboard Ship for more than an hour and was unpacking my Gear in the midshipmen's Berth (which by the way was the subject of much Mirth, for it should all have been packed in a sea chest) and becoming acquainted with the other Fellows, when a steward came in with a message that the Captain requested my Company for Dinner. This caused a great Stir among the other Middies, since none of Them had been asked. As you can well Imagine, I was quite Proud and dressed Myself in all my best for the Ocassion
.

When I presented Myself at the Captain's Cabin, I found that I was the lowliest Person there, the others being the first and second Lieutenants, and a Captain of Marines
—
not even a third Lieutenant in Evidence. No one paid any Attention to me at all, making me feel quite Awkward, as you can well Imagine
.

Then they all got to their Feet and Captain Allenby came in. You can well Imagine my Feelings of Shock when I saw that the Captain was None Other than the Fellow to whom Jenny had attached herself on the Dock
!

As you can well Imagine, I was rendered almost Speechless by the Sight of him, but he didn't make any acknowledgment of my Presence other than to introduce me to the others. How he learned my Name I can't Imagine, for Jenny did not introduce us on the Dock and specifically told me later that they hadn't introduced Themselves. She had called me Robbie, of course, and he could have guessed I was a Middy, but since there is another Robert in my Berth, how did he know which one I was? Of course, the Captain is very Shrewd, and I can well Imagine that it was not very Difficult for him to identify me
.

That Night, however, while we ate Dinner, I assumed that I had been chosen at Random (believing that he might ask one Middy to dine each evening) but I soon learned that that was not the Case. During Dinner no one said a Word to me, and you can well Imagine how Small I felt. But after Dinner was over and we had all drunk our Port (which I will admit was the only part of the Evening that I enjoyed, for I felt quite full grown when the steward filled my glass just like the others and you. Mama, were not there to tell me I'm not Old enough to
drink strong Spirits) and the Others took their Leave, the Captain indicated that I was to remain behind
.

You can well Imagine my Feelings. I had not the slightest Idea what he wanted with me. But he soon made his Intention clear
—
it was to give me a Thundering Scold! He said very coldly that the Officers aboard his Ship were all Gentlemen, and my Neglect of my Sister on the Dock was not the Act of a Gentleman, that it was Inexcusable even in the most Callow Youth, and that if I did not prove to him in Short Order that I could act like a Gentleman of Character and Sense, I would not long remain an Officer aboard his Ship. You can well Imagine my State when I at last was excused from his Presence
.

On my return to my Berth I found the other Fellows had already dubbed me Tris's Toy (Tristram being the Captain's given Name), implying that I was a Favorite. What Humbug! I've encountered the Captain three Times since the Fatal Dinner, and each Time he had a Fault to find. Once it was my improper Dress, once my Clumsiness and once my Inactivity. He never pays the least heed to any of the other Middies
—
Midshipmen are usually beneath the notice of Captains of Vessels as large as this one. If Jenny hadn't been so forward as to take up with Captain Allenby, he would never have even been aware of my Existence or cast so much as a Look in my Direction. I only wish she'd never laid Eyes on him. As you can well Imagine, my Chances for Promotion are non-existent and my Hopes for the Future very Dim
.

Jenny put down the sheets with hands that shook. Her emotions were in a state of upheaval. She was aware, first, of feelings of elation in having learned the identity of her stranger. (He was a Navy captain! She should have guessed it; everything about him had suggested strength and the ability to command.) She was excited by the realization that he now knew
her
identity, too. But with her mother glaring at her from the other side of the table and with Robbie's pathetic prospects spread on the papers before her, her excitement was overwhelmed by sensations of shame and guilt. “Oh, Mama,” she murmured, raising her eyes to her mother's face, “you don't think Robbie's prospects are as bleak as he says, do you?”

“Of course I do! My beloved boy, blighted in his prime! Jenny, how
could
you have done it?”

“But I didn't do anything so very dreadful. I only tried to show my gratitude. How could I have guessed it was Robbie's captain? The man was not in uniform but dressed as any proper gentleman would be.”

“That's no excuse. No female who calls herself a lady engages in conversation with a stranger, no matter what his garb. And you know that as well as I.”

“But it seemed, at the time, quite natural. And even necessary. I did have to thank him, didn't I? It would have been
beastly
of me to ignore his kindness.”

“Thank him? For what?”

Jenny briefly recounted to her mother exactly what had happened on the docks, but her mother, aware of the aftermath of the encounter, felt little sympathy for Jenny's plight. “You could have handled matters a great deal better than you did. You could have
cried out
when you realized you'd been robbed. That would have attracted a crowd around you. In a crowd, your lack of escort wouldn't have been so obvious.”

“But I wouldn't have felt comfortable making a scene, you know—”

“There, you see? Thinking of your own comfort instead of your brother's future. Your shyness is nothing but selfishness—I've always felt it.”

Jenny lowered her eyes miserably. “I'm sorry, Mama.”

“What good is being sorry? It will not bring back Robbie's prospects.” She heaved herself to her feet. “Not that I find you
completely
to blame,” she muttered grudgingly, turning to the door. “That dreadful captain is quite as much at fault. Taking it out on Robbie just because you behaved so foolishly as to let yourself be robbed—”

“Don't blame the captain, Mama. He was only being gallant.”

“Gallant? You
are
a goose. Read the other letters and see what a monster your uncle has foisted upon my poor son!” With that, she swept out of the room and slammed the door behind her.

Jenny reached across the table for the other letters and read them avidly. Then, her heart sinking in her chest, she read them again. Captain Tristram Allenby was the subject of all her brother's letters, and in all of them the captain was indeed monstrous. He was icy in his remarks, cold in his demeanor, exacting in his demands, aloof to his subordinates and heartless in every way. Robbie was miserably unhappy, homesick and hopeless. Jenny's heart bled for him. She had to conclude that Uncle Alistair had done the boy a disservice by urging him to join the Navy, her mother had been misguided in agreeing to the plan and Jenny had, albeit unknowingly, added the
coup de grace
by permitting herself to be robbed. By the time she left the morning room that day, her eyes were red with weeping.