Her Heart for the Asking (Book 1 - TEXAS HEARTS) (6 page)

She glared at him.  "Zero."

Beau chuckled softly and shook his
head.  "Then I guess you'd have to revisit your statistics
books because here we are."

"First of all, we're not together. 
Being in the same place at the same time doesn't make it so. 
So, even though we're physically together, that is where it
ends."

He shrugged and spun his straw hat in his
hand.  "Maybe so.  But we don't have to be enemies. 
You don't have to hate me."

"Hate is a strong word.  That would
imply that I have strong feelings for you, when I'm merely
indifferent."

"Do you always lie to yourself this
way?"

Mandy stood up too quickly, pitching the
open book in front of her to the edge of the desk, causing it to
tumble to the floor.  She took the extra few seconds needed to
retrieve the book to compose herself.

"You're the one who left, Beau.  You're
the one who lied to me."

His eyes softened in a way that made her
heart hammer more than her anger had.  She'd almost rather
Beau be smug and arrogant.  It was easier not to care about
how he was feeling at that particular moment.  But he was
neither.

"You're right.  I did lie to you eight
years ago."

She sat back down and turned away from
him.  He didn't need to see how much his betrayal still
affected her.

 
"But not in the way
you think.  I lied when I told you I didn't love you." 
The deep timbre of his voice was smooth, filled with emotion and
had her immediately thinking of those old days.

Mandy shrunk back in her seat, her body
trembling.  What was he saying?  She didn’t want to hear
it now.

"After all this time I'm supposed to believe
that?"

"Yes."  He shrugged and sighed heavily,
taking a few steps closer to the desk.  Much too close. 
"I guess not.  But you don't have to take my word for
it.  Just think of us.  If you let yourself think back to
what we were like when we were together, you'll remember that what
we shared was real.  No man can fake that kind of emotion,
Mandy."

"You did."

He shook his head.  "If eight years of
living with my lie has brought you to hating me this much, well
then I guess I deserve it.  It was wrong of me to take the
easy way out."

Mandy lifted her chin.  "Is this your
way of apologizing?"

"Would you accept it?"

"No."

"Well, it's an apology regardless.  One
that is long overdue."

"What about Hank?"

"What about him?"

She laughed sardonically.

"I told you Hank doesn't harbor any ill
feelings for me.  That's why I'm here."

They stared at each other for a long
moment.  Did he really expect her to forgive him?  For
everything?  Part of her wanted to forgive him just so she
could stop feeling angry and betrayed.  That made what she was
feeling much worse.

"What do you want from me, Beau?" she asked
softly.

For a fraction of a second, he looked
hurt.  The lines around his eyes shadowed and his jaw
tightened.

"Nothing."

Beau cleared his throat, dragged his gaze
from her and headed toward the door.

Mandy hadn't realized she was breathing much
too heavy until it looked as though he was going to leave without
turning back.  And then he did turn back and her heart skipped
a beat.

"If you are really interested in learning
about the ranch, a good way to do it is to get your nose out of
those books and come with me." 

He spun through the door and Mandy called
out to him, "Where are you going?"

He appeared in the doorway again and placed
his hands high on the doorjamb on both sides of the door, filling
the space completely. 
Locking her in.

"For a start, to meet with the cattle
auctioneer.  Then some of the other people in the area who
work with the ranch on a yearly basis to keep things running
smooth.  You'll find all their names and numbers in those
books you've been reading.  But until you meet them face to
face and see how they operate, you won't really have a handle on
how things are done.  You with me?"

She didn't answer.  She didn't want to
do this.  She didn't want to be with Beau.  But she had
to.  She closed the book in front of her and placed it back in
its rightful place before grabbing her hat.  

* * *

You're doing this for Hank, Beau reminded
himself.  Still, he couldn't help but think that part of this
was for him, too.  A second chance of sorts to go back and do
it right, make amends for the wrong he'd done to Mandy.

Mandy didn't believe him when he'd told her
he'd lied about not loving her.  And why would she? 
She'd had eight long years of hearing those awful words in her
head, reliving the pain she felt when he'd rejected her.  And
she still felt it.  Every time she glanced his way, he could
still see the pain in those rich brown eyes of hers.  He hated
himself for it.

And he felt the pain, too.  If he could
go back, he would erase that pained expression from her face. 
Kiss her sweet lips and...

No.  He couldn't go back.  And
even if he could, it wouldn't have changed the end result, he
realized.  The only thing he could hope for now was to move
forward.

* * *

After hearing John Bower from the feed store
go on and on about this and that and nothing at all, they were back
in the truck heading back to the Double T.  Mandy had been
talkative with the storeowner, but now that they were alone, she
was quiet again. 

Unable to take the sound of tires eating up
the highway, Beau turned on the radio.  Within minutes of
looking at the familiar Texas farmland on both sides of the road,
tension eased from his muscles.

Mandy leaned forward and turned off the
radio.

"What'd you do that for?"

Glaring at him, she said, "You're whistling
out of tune again."

Then she turned away to look out her window,
but not quick enough for him to miss the smile she was trying to
hide from him. 
A real honest to goodness smile
. 
Lord have mercy, they were finally making progress!

He couldn't keep his lips from stretching
into a satisfied grin.  "Admit it, you like it when I
whistle."

"Do not."

"Yeah, you do."

"In your dreams."

He could hear her soft chuckle even with her
face turned toward the open window, the wind blowing her blond
streaks in a wild mess around her face.

She finally looked at him and he caught the
first real glimpse of her smile.  Lord, how he'd missed that
face.

"Okay, you win.  I think it's kind of
funny."

He pretended to be offended.  "What's
wrong with the way I whistle?  It's jovial, it's--"

"Off key!  You can't carry a tune to
save your life," she said, laughing.  "And what's worse is you
think you're on key so you whistle louder.  Then you tap your
other foot on the floorboard to give it added emphasis. 
Drives me crazy."

He laughed himself, taking his eyes off the
road a time or two to enjoy her laughter.

"And it doesn't matter where you are in the
house or in the barnyard, I know where you are because I hear you
whistling all over the entire ranch."

"You keeping tabs on me, again?"

Her expression changed.  Afraid to
break this sudden change between them, he quickly changed the
subject.

"So what have you been doing these last
eight years?"

She adjusted herself in the seat before she
spoke.  "If you're looking for a complete rundown of my life
it could take all day."

"Give me the reader's digest version." 
In truth, Beau would have taken all day to hear about all he'd
missed in Mandy's life.  But he knew as soon as they got back
to the ranch, there'd be other people to intrude on this solitude
he had with Mandy now.  Selfish as it was, he liked having her
all to himself.  One of the unexpected little perks of Hank's
plan.

"Hmm.  I lived in Boston for a few
years while in college and now I work for my father's advertising
firm."

"Just like you always planned."

"Yeah," she said quietly.

"I imagine advertising must be a high stress
job.  Demanding.  How'd you manage to get away for a few
weeks like this on such short notice?"

She laughed again and he felt his heart skip
a beat.  It had been a long time since he'd heard that musical
lift in her voice.  Forgotten how much it reeled him
in. 

The distance between them was so
great.  But was it insurmountable?  Beau didn't want to
think so.

"I don't sleep much."

"Can't live on no sleep.  I guess it's
good you're getting away for while then.  At least for the
rest."

"Guess again.  I probably won't be
sleeping much while I'm here, either.  I had a big ad campaign
presentation due right before I flew out.  I worked two days
straight on it.  That's why I looked like I'd survived a
tornado when you picked me up at the airport."

"You mean, that wasn't the latest styles
coming out of all those New York City boutiques this year?"

"Hardly.  After the Hill Crest
Industries people left, I managed to catch a few hours of sleep on
the sofa in my office right before I took my flight to Texas. 
I thought I'd nailed that presentation.  But Dad..."

She stopped herself from saying anything
more.  And she didn't really have to.  It had been a bone
of contention between Mandy and Damien Morgan all her life. 
Nothing Mandy managed to achieve was ever quite good enough to live
up to her father's expectations. 

That was something Beau and Mandy always had
in common, a common thread that bound them.  Unlike Mandy, who
forged on trying to do her best to win that elusive approval, Beau
had accepted early on that the life Mike Gentry thought Beau should
be living wasn't in line with what Beau wanted for himself.

"Anyway, the Hill Crest Industries people
haven't made a decision yet.  Just in case they aren't quite
as happy with the work I've presented and want a different slant,
I'll be burning the midnight oil to produce something new."

"You've got to sleep some time."

"Yeah, well, sleep is overrated."

He stared at her.  The road ahead was
flat and straight and he didn't mind taking the extra few seconds
to linger on her mouth to see her smile had faded.

"Are you happy?" 
Please tell me you
are
, Beau prayed silently.  He wanted to hear that the
life he'd sent her back to was the life she wanted and now
loved.  He needed to know that giving her up eight years ago
hadn't been in vain.

"What about you?" she said, turning his
question back at him.  "You're going for World Champion this
year, right?"

"Yeah," he said quietly.  And he
was.  As soon as he knew Hank was going to be okay, he'd
hightail it back to the circuit.  The World Championship title
was within his reach for the first time in his career and there was
no way he was going to miss it.

"Doesn't this time away put a cramp on
things?"

"A little," he said honestly.  By right
he should be busting his butt, hitting every rodeo he could to make
sure his spot was secure.  He'd told Hank he might steal
himself away from the ranch for one of the closer shows coming
up.  Mitch being gone put a dent in that plan, but now that
Mitch was back there was no reason he couldn't.

"Then I guess it's in both our best
interests to convince Hank to have that surgery as soon as
possible.  So we can both get back to our lives."

"Yeah."

He didn't know why, but the thought of
leaving Texas didn't seem so bad.  Leaving Texas without Mandy
didn't sit as well with him.  He'd done it before.  He
was going to do it again.  He had a feeling it wasn't going to
be any easier the second time around.

# # #

Chapter Five

Mandy ran a soft cloth over the pictures on
the fireplace mantel, giving each one a good long stare before
dropping them back into place.

"Now what do you think you're doing," Alice
said, coming into the wide pine-paneled room carrying a bucket and
scrubs.  "Your Aunt and Uncle hired me for a reason, young
lady.  You'll be doing no house cleaning while I'm still
walking around these floors."

"I was looking at the picture and got my
fingerprints all over the glass.  I made the mess, I figured I
might as well be the one to clean it up.  Besides, it gave me
a reason to linger a little longer."

"If you do it all, I'll have nothing left to
do."

Mandy chuckled softly.  "I'm sure these
hands track in enough dirt and muck to keep you busy."

"That they do," Alice said,
smiling. 

She dropped the bucket on the floor, stood
next to Mandy by the mantel. 

"Every so often Corrine would rifle through
that big box of photos and rearrange the pictures on the
mantel.  As soon as she knew you were coming, she did it
again.  We're all so happy having you back with us."

Squashing a cascade of guilt, Mandy picked
up a picture and showed it to Alice.  "Remember this one?"

Alice's face grew solemn.  "That I
do."

It was the first time she'd visited the
reservation with Uncle Hank and Aunt Corrine, her first summer at
the Double T. 

Alice and her daughter, Sara, lived on the
reservation.  Aunt Corrine had told her all about Sara when
her mother had gone home to Philadelphia, leaving Mandy behind for
the first time.  She'd been so sad that first week that
everyone, including Alice, thought it would do Mandy a world of
good to visit and have the two young girls play together while Hank
visited with his mother. 

"That snapshot was taken the day you met my
Sara," Alice said, taking the photo from her.

"How is Sara doing?"

"Like you, she hasn't been home in a
while.  In fact, she hasn't been back home since that summer
before you left."