Her Fictional Fling: Scandals in Scotland Contemporary Romance Series Book 1 (14 page)

He relished the weight of her warm body in his arms and already hated the emptiness he knew would replace it when he finally let her go. Like a spear soaring into him from the darkness of a thick forest, the realization paralyzed him: he didn’t want to let her go. Not now. Not ever. He wanted to make her his own, to possess her, body and soul.

What the hell was wrong with him?
Hadn’t he gotten the lesson through his thick skull the first time round?

He’d done all of this before, had made the mistake of falling for a woman who eventually destroyed his ability to trust. If Nicole had the power to break him the way she had…imagine what Andi could do. Sure, right now she made him feel more masculine and more alive than he ever had. And she’d pulled a tenderness from him that surprised no one more than he. But what happened when she realized that he wasn’t anything special outside of the roles he played? What happened when, like Nicole, she simply tired of him and found someone else?

Only a bloody fool would make the same mistake twice, and he didn’t fancy himself a fool.

“Colin?” Andi said, her voice muddled with leftover traces of sleep. She propped her chin on his chest and looked up at his face, her eyes a deep navy in the fading afternoon light, squeezing his heart like a vice.

If he wasn’t careful, he would lose everything all over again. How stupid could he be?

He did his best to hide all the mess battling in his head, and gave her what he hoped was a convincing smile. “Hi,” he said, sounding like a big idiot.

She laughed and tickled his belly, sending a fresh wave of arousal straight to his groin. “Hi,” she repeated.

He made a show of checking his watch and gently moving out from under her, trying ineffectively to ignore the cold air as it slapped him the second he pulled away from her skin.

“Is something wrong?” she asked, beginning to gather her discarded clothing.

“No. Nothing’s wrong. I just lost track of the time. I’ve got some work to do, is all.”

“I could join you, if you like,” she said, and the softness in her voice made his heart sink.

“I think I’d better take you back to your hotel first,” he said, hating himself. “It could be a while before I’m free again.”

Andi tried to hide it, but he could see disappointment all over her face, and it seeped under his skin. He sure as hell hoped his plan would work, but beyond that, he hoped they’d both make it out unscarred.

Chapter Twelve

“Oh my gosh! That’s the one. You have to buy it. Right now. Go!”

Andi burst out laughing at Lily’s typical overreaction to the dress she had on. It was hard for anyone, even Andi, to be self-conscious with someone like her best friend around. Shopping with Lily was like having a pep squad follow Andi around, cheering her on at every corner and talking her down off a ledge when something made her look seriously wretched. If it wasn’t so cute, it would annoy the crap out of her.

Lily practically bounced in her seat as Andi spun in a circle in front of the dress shop mirror, which sat on a little raised platform in a corner of the store. If she wasn’t careful, she could easily drift off into daydreaming about trying out wedding gowns, imagining walking down the aisle toward Colin Walker, as their friends and family looked on, a few tearful eyes in the audience.

Yeah right. Colin would flip his lid and call the whole thing off if he knew she had ideas like that in her head. She stopped spinning and the folds of amazing navy blue tulle fell around her legs. She hadn’t even considered that she would never know Colin’s friends, or his family? She supposed it was for the best; they were both aware that talking about their personal lives would make it harder to end this thing when the time came. Even as much as they’d said already made the thought of leaving him far more painful than if they’d just stuck with impersonal sex as planned in the first place, if there really was such a thing.

“What’s wrong, sweetheart?” Lily asked, rushing to Andi’s side.

“I’m just not sure that any of this is a good idea. I thought somehow it would be easier – more fun. It feels less like a game and more like a terrible play headed toward an ending that causes the audience to throw tomatoes at me.”

Lily stood behind Andi and wrapped her arms around Andi’s waist, turning them both toward the mirror.

“You agreed to this, remember? You can back out any time you want. You don’t have to go through with it.”

Andi sighed. “I know, and you’re right. It’s just something I have to do.” No matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t think of an adequate way to explain her reasons to her best friend. It had to do with bravery, with owning herself, with being comfortable enough in her own skin, and guarded enough of her own heart to do a favor for a friend. Even if that friend was starting to feel like so much more than the label could hold.

She met Lily’s eyes in their reflection and offered a reassuring smile. She knew her best friend wanted to help, and Lord knew Lily had stars in her eyes when it came to Colin Walker, but Andi was alone in this one.

“You’re a beautiful woman, you know,” Lily said with dead seriousness, placing her hands on Andi’s shoulders to spin her around again. Then she winked at Andi in the mirror. “Just check out that fine ass.” Lily gave it a good hard slap causing Andi to let out an awkwardly loud laugh; a pair of women nearby glanced over to see what all the fuss was about. She covered her mouth to stifle the giggles but was unsuccessful, and they ended up in a heap on a nearby cushion. Folds of navy fabric covered Andi’s lap, her legs bare under the tea-length hem.

“You’re right. This dress is incredible.” She glanced at Lily. “It would really be a shame if I left it here all alone, don’t you think?” She ran her hands lovingly over the material covering her torso, the sleeveless sweetheart neckline enhancing her cleavage in a way that was both classy and sexy, especially with the magenta shoes and bag she’d chosen to compliment the dark dress.

“Absolutely,” Lily answered.

After almost an entire day of nonstop shopping, she’d finally found the perfect thing to wear to the film crew’s wrap party that night, where Colin planned to stage a public proposal.

He’d discussed their plan with his agent the day before and Colin was certain it was a great way to get the paparazzi to stop speculating as to what actress or model he’d date next. His agent still didn’t see why Colin disliked the publicity, but then Charles didn’t have to live with it. Andi wasn’t so sure that things wouldn’t just get worse after this, but she knew by now that Colin could be trusted. Plus, it was far too late for second-guessing.

Colin had become sad and distant after they’d been together at the loch two days ago. Andi wanted desperately to make him tell her what was wrong, but it wouldn’t do much good. His distance made her heart ache, but it was also easier to treat this as a business deal without the fun banter and flirty teasing she’d grown to like so much from him. If she could just keep reminding herself that that’s all it was—a simple business deal between friends, however unlikely—then she might actually be able to make it through without any bruises. At least, that was the plan.

The idea of going back into that ballroom after what happened with her reading made Andi’s stomach churn, but she would face her fear head-on, and maybe even kick its ass. She wasn’t the same Andi she’d been the first time she set foot in there, and she had no desire to go back to being that version of herself. Colin had helped her change in ways she could never thank him for, so the least she could do was be there for him and help him sort out his own life.

She refused to think about what would happen after that. The future would come soon enough, and there was nothing she could do to stop it. For the time being, there was no sense ruining a good day of shopping complete with Colin’s platinum credit card in her purse, her best friend, and a driver parked outside in a black stretch limo just for her and Lily.

Though she knew much groaning would ensue, Andi grabbed Lily’s hand and pulled her friend off the sofa and away from the tray of free champagne and cupcakes. She changed back into her jeans and purchased the cocktail dress of her dreams, adding it to her to-die-for shoes and clutch, and they made their way to the front of the shop, the garment bag draped carefully over Andi’s shoulder.

“Mind if we grab a coffee?” Lily asked as they opened the glass double doors. “I could use a cup.”

“Yeah, sure,” Andi said. “I could go for one, too.”

They headed toward a small outdoor cart just past where the driver had parked, the air infused with the delectable aroma of coffee beans. Andi bought a generous cup and added cream and sugar to her drink before stepping a few feet over to a magazine stand to browse while Lily ordered. She studied the glossy covers, helplessly sucked into the silly stuff printed there. She’d be lying if she said she’d never bought a tabloid before, as a guilty pleasure, but she would think twice next time after hearing about Colin’s experiences. She took a sip of her beverage, the warm caffeine strong enough to perk her up with just a few sips. Speaking of Colin, her eyes glazed over his name on a front cover, causing her to double back after she passed it. She placed a finger under the letters attempting to steady them a bit, just to be sure.

She swallowed too fast and hot coffee seared her throat.

It wasn’t just Colin’s name she saw. There was photo next to it…a photo of…Andi. She might have some trouble with words, but there was no mistaking a picture. Unable to think clearly, she started to pull her wallet out of her purse to buy the magazine but someone bumped her arm, spilling scalding liquid all over her legs and feet, and splashing the tabloid.

“Ow, shit!” she shouted, hearing a faint apology, but it sounded far away as she fought to gain control.

Lily heard her outburst from the drink cart and rushed to Andi’s side, grabbing napkins off the counter to help clean up. Thank heavens the dress was unharmed. The last thing she needed right now was a ruined gown with an obscene price tag.

“What happened, sweetie?” Lily asked, searching Andi’s face.

“Look at this,” she blurted, her heart beating like hunted prey. Lily grabbed the soggy paper from Andi’s hands and her eyes widened as she studied the front page, seeing for herself what had shocked her friend into such a state. Lily covered her mouth as she read.

“This is about you,” she said.

“I know that, silly,” Andi said, her voice quivering, “but look at what it says about me. None of that stuff is true!”

Tears pricked at her eyes and Andi couldn’t stop them from spilling over as the cruelty of the words sunk in. There was a picture of her and Colin in front of the lingerie shop, and Andi recalled the man standing out in front of the store as they’d left the other day. The angle of the shot was terribly unflattering, catching Andi with her legs bunched up to her abdomen as Colin had helped her climb into the cab high off the ground. A circle out to the side contained a close-up of her stomach, which, at that angle, appeared far thicker than it would have if she’d been standing up straight. But that wasn’t the worst part. Whoever said that shit about sticks and stones was most definitely kidding himself. The words splattered in bold font across the page left Andi feeling gutted.

Rising Star Colin Walker takes on a New Roll,
the headline read.

The clever spelling didn’t escape her, but it just got worse from there. Andi struggled to read the text as the letters jumped across the page, but it didn’t take much for her to get the gist. The article was a sickening discourse speculating as to whether Andi was pregnant—
had the famous Colin Walker knocked up some random plain Jane?—
or was this new unknown woman just fat?

She knew it shouldn’t bother her, but god, it did. It really did. How could someone write such things about a person he or she didn’t even know?

Lily looked up from the page, her face void of all color. She dropped the magazine into the nearest trash bit and lay a hand on Andi’s back, leading her to a bench.

“I have to pay for that,” Andi murmured as she allowed her friend to help her sit.

Lily pulled a few dollars from her pocket and headed back to drop them on the newsstand counter before returning to the bench and her distraught friend. Andi stared straight ahead for a moment and then appeared to gather herself.

“I’m so sorry, sweetheart,” Lily said, resting a palm on Andi’s hand. “I know this hurts you. How could it not? Even though it’s complete and utter trash, it’s mean as hell.” Lily shook her head. “But you’ve shed a few tears now, so you’ve got to let it go. They’re just words.”

“They’re not
just words
, Lily. Words are my life. I use them to entertain people, to make them happy. Someone used them purely to make me feel ugly. I know it’s not personal. They do this all the time to famous people and I know it’s just to sell magazines, but it still stings.”

Lily wiped a tear from underneath Andi’s eye before it had a chance to slide down her face. Andi looked at her and suddenly Lily’s expression changed; she understood.

“Oh god, sweetie. I’m so sorry.”

“It’s okay. It’s been a long time. It’s past time to forget about it.”

The nasty article had reminded her of the way she used to feel with Jared. All the pain rushed back as if she’d only left him yesterday, and she realized that a wound she’d thought healed was still open; maybe it always would be. If that was the case, she had no business trying to convince Colin that the two of them, given more time, could possibly build a real relationship. The actor had been right all along to insist on keeping things strictly business.

“Andi, honey. Jared broke you into a thousand pieces. It may take a lot longer than you thought to put everything back together again.” Lily pointed at Andi’s chest. “Especially that soft heart of yours.”

“I think it needs to borrow some of that Viking armor my Characters wear,” she said, offering Lily the best grin she could muster.

Lily indulged her with a small chuckle, leaning over to rest her head on Andi’s shoulder, her halo of wild red curls tickling Andi’s cheek. “Look, I’m speaking as your best friend here, not your agent. I love your books, Andi, you know I do, otherwise I wouldn’t have gotten you such damn good deals. But they are just books. You can’t go on expecting real life to turn out the way your stories do.”