Her Black Heart (The Dark Amulet Series Book 2) (19 page)

CHAPTER

FIFTY

Julia

Monsters made people weep; they didn’t break down over an angel. Julia stared up at the ceiling. Raz continued to stroke one of his feathers.

Don’t cry. Don’t cry.

This wasn’t her. There was nothing to cry about. She had to get out of the hotel room. Now.

She lumbered out of the bed and dressed. Raz watched her walk across the room. She swung the door to the suite wide so she would have an excuse to look over at her angel. Guardian angel. The girly girl in her waited for him to say something, to stop her from leaving. However, he lay there with one knee bent, head propped up on pillows, his densely muscled body on display. Her black heart pinched. She rubbed the center of her chest.

Don’t you want to know where I’m going?
She pleaded with her eyes.
I’m lost.

The door slammed loudly. Damn. She’d forgotten the keycard. No way would she knock, her pride wouldn’t let her.

Julia left the hotel out the front lobby doors and turned left. Navy Pier would be nearly deserted by now with the bars closed, the mall cleared out, and the boat rides long since stopped running. A dampness rolled off the water. She shivered as the wind tunneled through the large hole cut out of her shirt for her wings. Her hair danced around her head in amber waves. With her hands shoved into the front pocket of the sweatshirt, she trudged forward, her head down.

Lampposts lit the wide walkway. During the day, the place was packed full of tourists. In a way, Julia wished it weren’t very early in the morning before sunrise. Anonymity could be achieved in a crowd of people. You could convince yourself that you were just like everyone else around you. That you weren’t the monster you thought you were. Distraction was key to a good denial. But alone, you couldn’t hide from yourself. She marched onward.

Times when she felt her loneliest, Julia spoke to her BFF. “Salina…oh, God…it’s been a while and I’m sorry. I hope you made it to, um…Heaven, er, Arcadia. What am I saying? Of, course you made it. I didn’t. But you know that don’t you?” Tears rolled down her cheeks. She sniffled and regained some composure. “I lost my virginity. Yeah, I know right? About time.”

Julia giggled as if Salina were right there with her. “Anyway, I’m in a real mess—worse than ever before. I could use some of your virtuous, goody-two-shoe advice right now.”

One of the bulbs in a lamppost popped and went out. “Are you listening? Salina, can you hear me?” She ran over the light pole and placed her hand on it.

Please, I need you.

“Everything is shit. I can’t even die properly. I’m stuck. Help me. My whole life, I’ve made bad decisions. I never fucking learn. Why do I never
learn
?” Julia looked up, tears streamed down her face. “Salina, I’m sorry I killed you…so sorry.” Her chin quivered. “Please forgive me.” She slapped the post a couple of times, turned, and leaned her back against it. Her head hung low while she sobbed. “Abaddon, you asshole.” She’d meant to scream the words, but they came out as a whisper.

After a while she found a bench and laid down. The gentle sound of the water lapping against the concrete pier wall calmed her. When her tears dried, her cheeks felt tight. She closed her eyes only to rest them. One of her hands fell out of her pocket and dangled over the edge of the bench.

***

The sense of someone leaning over her made Julia open her eyes. A foul smelling hand clamped over her mouth.

“All I want is the cash sticking out of your pocket.”

She yelled but her “No!” was muffled. Her hands scratched at a man’s face and arms. No way was this happening right now. A fingernail took a chunk of skin off the loser’s face. He howled. She pushed him back with all her strength. The man staggered backward and fell. His head smacked the cement. Julia knew the thud sound probably wasn’t a good thing to hear, so she ran and didn’t look back.

***

Ra’zael

The door to the hotel suite slammed. Raz forgot to tune out the decibel range and cringed when the sound hit his eardrums. His first reaction was to chase after Julia. He reached for the door handle and cranked the lever down. It didn’t matter to him that he was naked. What stopped him was fear. The sad part was he could even admit abject fear kept him inside the room.

He released the handle and retreated to the bed. Spending the last however many decades in Netherworld because of a female wasn’t something he wanted to repeat. Julia was on a course for condemning her soul forever. Fuck that. He stepped on something that felt silky and raised his foot. A black feather lay on the floor. The color looked dead, as the plume held no sheen. Amalya’s wings were so shiny and at first glance they only seemed to be black. However, when the light struck them just right, greens and blues and even purples added depth. Reaching out and touching them had been such a natural thing to do. Her mating ward had blared across his senses, but he ignored the warning.

Stupid goat.

Exhausted, he lay on top of the mattress.

I should go after her. I should.
 

Raz cracked all of his knuckles, including his toes, concentrating on the street-level city noise outside. He focused in on the sounds, hoping to discern which direction Julia had headed. The skill had always seemed useless until now. He’d learned the rhythm of her gait back when he’d followed her in the storage facility. She turned left. Where was she going? Probably meeting Jeremiah again or—
ohmydeus—
the goat demon was an angel too and a Sacred one at that. He remembered when the angel had fallen. It had been on purpose, but he’d been lured by Abaddon. Sacred ones were so sheltered and easily persuaded. He shook his head. Poor bastard
.

Joelle appeared in his room. Raz sat up, choking on his saliva. “Deus, you scared the piss out of me!”

The white-winged angel laughed. “Not him. Yet. But I have a message for you from him, or it…I dunno, never figured that one out.”

“I believe the term you’re searching for is divine being
bent
on torturing me.”

Joelle laughed and his feathers fluttered. “You’re right about one thing, he loves to torture us. Anyway, Deus wants me to remind you that you’re not a Redeemer.”

“Yeah, uh, I already know this. What’s the point?”

Joelle shrugged. “I guess he means that you have to stick with this through the end.”

“What end?” Redeemers only helped souls for a short period of time generally. Guardians helped people, sometimes with crisis intervention, but continued to be a force in their lives long after the initial problem was resolved. Maybe that was what the deity meant. “Never mind, I think I got it.”

Joelle cocked his head to the side. “Can I ask you something?”

“Won’t you anyway? First answer me something. How pissed was Virgil when you took his job?” Raz was dying to hear the story.

“He cussed, if that’s any indication.”

Raz made a “
no way”
face. “Virgil, swore? Will wonders never cease?”

“So, I hear you pissed off Elliott.”

“I don’t wanna talk about it,” Raz mumbled. “You had a question?”

Joelle walked across the room and sat on the end of the bed. His shoulders sagged after a long exhale. “I missed you. I know there’s never been anything between us, or at least, well—”

“It was one night, a very long time ago, and nothing ever really happened. I’m sorry. I wanted to be like you…”

“But you’re not bi. I know, but I never got over it. Over you. I’m the one who should be sorry. It was my fault.” Joelle stared at his hands in his lap.

Raz’s brow furrowed at his old friend’s profile. “What was your fault?”

“I was jealous. Unrequited love and—”

BANG! BANG! BANG!

“Ra’zael! Open the door!”

“We’ll finish this conversation later,” Raz clipped. He unlocked the door for Julia as he glared behind him at Joelle. She rushed inside the room and stopped at the foot of the bed to catch her breath. Her hands on the mattress kept her from collapsing onto the floor. “Tell me what happened. Why are you all out of breath?”

Julia panted and gasped. She managed to plant her butt down next to Joelle. “Who are you?”

“He’s somebody that I used to—”

“Joelle,” he cut in over Raz. “And who are you?”

“Will you give me a break? You know who she is.” Raz looked at Julia. “What happened?”

“Some creepy guy tried to mug me at Navy Pier. I’m okay, though.” Julia shivered. Joelle looked heavenward.

“Why do I get the feeling there’s more to this story?” Raz said.

“There’s not.” She stared at the carpet. 

“Yeah, right.”

“Shut it, Joelle.” Raz gazed at Julia with a raised eyebrow.

Julia sagged. “Okay. Fine. I pushed the freakazoid off me and he fell. Hard. I dunno. I think I may have killed him.”

Joelle sighed heavily. “I’ll go check. Be back in a minute.” He disappeared, leaving behind a downy fluff. Julia’s eyes followed the feather to the floor.

CHAPTER

FIFTY-ONE

Julia

“What was that? Where did he go?” Julia asked Ra’zael. She sprang off the bed and walked around the suite. She patted the mattress where the angel had sat. “How did he do that…better yet, can you do that? Can I?”

“He teleported. And I don’t know if you can or not.”

She tried to imagine somewhere far away from him. The woods where she met him, her favorite place as a little girl. Nothing happened.

“What are you doing?” he asked.

“Tell me how to teleport.”

“No.”

“Why not?”

“Because it’s dangerous.”

“Joel did it. Didn’t seem to bother him any,” she snarled.

“Joelle,” Raz said quietly.

“Well, excuse me. Jo-
elle
. What’s the real reason you won’t tell me?”

He took a deep breath. “I don’t want you to leave. We’re not finished here…”

“Not finished with what?”
Us?
she wondered because it sounded like what he implied.

“Finding and destroying the amulet.”

Julia crossed her arms over her chest. “That’s all, huh?”

“Yep,” Raz said shortly, keeping his eyes on the floor.

“Ra’zael, please.” She softened and moved toward him. “I just want to know if I can too.” Her eyes misted over. He stared down at her. His harsh expression lightened.

He sighed. “Concentrate on where you want to go. Or who you want to see. I mean really think about it. Meditate on it.”

A smirk appeared on her face and she swung away from him.

Fool
.

Julia pictured the woods of her family’s favorite vacation spot. The trees. The picnic tables. The stupid tent her father loved. She heard her name called from far away. There was a buzzing sound and a whoosh of air. Her eyes saw nothingness and her body felt weightless.

The temperature around her changed. She looked up at the familiar tall trees. They cracked in the breeze at the top of the leaf canopies. She took long cleansing breaths.

Good air in. Bad air out.

She worked her way to the campsite. She walked until her feet hurt. The picnic pavilions should be…right over there beyond the clearing in the woods.

Maybe she went in the wrong direction. A small familiar voice called her name. The breeze rustled the leaves on the tress. She stopped and listened.

“Julia.”

Spinning around, she found no one was there. “Augustina?” What was she doing? The old woman wouldn’t be out here in the woods. Wind whistled through a hollow log. Julia relaxed.

It’s only the wind.

She began walking. Again, she couldn’t find the tables. She sat down on a fallen trunk and covered her face with her hands. Tears fell.

“Salina…oh, God Salina…” If she could just see her best friend. The girl had always been her moral compass. Without her, Julia wandered aimlessly through her life. “Please. Please…” she croaked as a sob bubbled out of her throat. “I told you, I was sorry…please. Come back. I need to talk to you.”

Wait a minute…she could concentrate on who she wanted to see.

Julia remembered her friend’s smile, the braces across her front teeth and the hot pink rubber bands on the brackets. Her cheeks scrunched up while she held her lids closed. The light changed. A shadow moved across her field of vision.

A girl’s voice giggled. “Why are you making that face?”

Julia’s eyes popped open. The sun peeked above the horizon behind her friend, obscuring her features. “Salina?” She swallowed hard.

“Yeah, well, I was told you wanted to talk to me. And considering you’re crying I—”

“Salina…ohmygod!” Julia surged off the log and hugged her friend fiercely.

“You’re hurting me.” Julia eased back. “Listen, I don’t have a lot of time. A Sacred one is waiting over there for me.” Salina pointed to a tree.

“Where? I don’t see anyone.”

“I guess I’m not surprised you can’t see him. I can see your wings and the pitiful amount of feathers. The Sacred are pretty special in Arcadia. Very protected, and if you ask me, more naïve than I was.”

“You’re really here, aren’t you?”

“Sort of. I can’t stay.”

“I never got to say goodbye and tell you how sorry I am,” Julia gushed.

“Eh, don’t worry about it,” she waved her off. “I’m loving the afterlife. But it doesn’t look like you are.”

Julia sighed. “No. I hate it.”

“All of it? ‘Cuz I hear Ra’zael is
hot
.”

Julia chuckled. “Well, not all of it. But I made a terrible mistake, or two, or three, oh shit, way too many.”

“Talk to me, but don’t BS me. We don’t got time for all that.”

She must’ve been more transparent than she thought. “I made a deal with Abaddon. Do you know who that is?” Salina nodded, her loose brown curls bouncing. “He now wants me to kill Raz for my amulet. Or for a ‘chance’ at getting it back. It’s mine.”

“Why is this so important to you? I don’t think you hear yourself. Because let me recap what I know and what I’ve heard from you. You were murdered over a stupid necklace. One, I might add, is covered in Taint. Made a deal with the Supreme Demon Ruler of Netherworld. And now he wants you to kill a Guardian angel. Are you serious? Over a lousy piece of jewelry?”

Julia gaped at Salina. Her eyes watered.

“Oh, no. I know that look. How could you even consider this? You’ll be condemned to Hell.” Tears rolled down her best friend’s cheeks. The two stared at each other.

“Abaddon will take you and make you a part of his harem.” Salina snapped her chin over her shoulder at the voice. Julia looked around her. Ra’zael leaned up against a tree about fifteen feet away. The feathers on his wings lifted in the wind. The plumes were whiter higher up their shafts; the gray was almost gone now.

Julia put herself between him and Salina. “What does that even
mean
?”

“What do you think it means?” Ra’zael stepped forward.

“He’s saying that if you kill him, you’ll be part of a group of women who serve Abaddon. You’ll be trapped forever,” Salina said.

Raz pursed his bottom lip. “That’s about right. Only you will be the one to complete his harem and make him more powerful than Deus. But, you know, go ahead and do it. What the hell? I didn’t like Earth’s realm much anyway.” He rolled his eyes.

“Give me a break. Salina, tell him he’s crazy.” Julia turned and found Salina gone. “Salina?”

“She’s gone,” Raz said.

“Great. You chased her away.” She threw her hands up. “I hate you.” They were half an arm’s length away from one another.

“No you don’t.”

“Yes. I. Do. I could kill you.”

“Do what you have to.” He slipped his hand around the back of her neck and weaved his fingers into her hair. The fire in his eyes lit like mini torches. Her lips parted and he licked his lips.

“You’d like that, wouldn’t you? Stop looking at me like that. I hate you.”

“Like what?”

“Like you want to either kill me or sex me up.” He smashed his lips to hers, the kiss a juxtaposition of reverent and demanding. They remained fused together as he backed her into a wide-trunked tree.

“Maybe it’s both,” he said against her mouth. He wrestled her pants off one leg. Tore her panties from her body and sprung his erection. She jumped up and wrapped her legs around his waist. Her eyes flared as he pushed into her with a groan. Her wings cushioned her backside.

“Oh, God. Yes!” Julia clutched his shoulders. Why did she want him so badly? She wanted him more than the amulet when he did this. He held her thighs while pumping in and out. In and out. “Harder,” she growled in his ear. “I want all of you.”

Her gasps burned her throat and her vision blurred. Before she realized what was happening, tears welled and poured from her eyes. The hard coating on the organ that beat inside her chest splintered and the shards blew away. She wondered if it caused a massive hemorrhage. Her hands slipped from his shoulders, resulting in her hugging him close. His quickened pace and jabbing thrusts signaled his imminent orgasm. He stilled for a second then his shaft kicked inside, giving her of all him. She sobbed with her head laid on his shoulder.

His head pulled back so she lifted her head. “Hey, why are you crying?”

Julia sucked down her tears. “I’m not,” she said, her chin quivering.

“Did I hurt you?”

“No.” Her voice sounded tiny. “I hate you.”

“I hate you too.” He smiled crookedly.