Her Baby Dreams (14 page)

He startled her when she turned around and found him standing there. “You're a good woman, Ash.”

He was so near she could almost hear his heart beating. Or was that hers, pounding out a staccato rhythm?

“Some man is going to be lucky to call you his wife one of these days.” One corner of his lips lifted and then he took a deep, shuddering breath. “You just need to slow down and wait.”

He turned and strode to her door. His long-legged stride had him there within the blink of an eye, and just like that he was gone.

A
shby felt as if she'd been turned topsy-turvy and shaken. Up was down and down was up and she felt certain that she'd run into a few walls before she made it to work the next day.

“Hey, are you okay?” Rose shot her a hard look the minute she walked into the shop.

“Fine. I'm fine.”

“You are not. Look at you. You look like you're carrying mail for the Pony Express with those bulging saddlebags under your eyes!”

“Aren't you sweet this morning.”

Rose laughed. “Sorry, I'm tired, too. I was up late helping Max with some homework. Talk about making me feel old.”

“I can only imagine. Did you get it done?”

“Finally. Math just isn't my cup of tea. Nive came in and helped us. That girl is so smart. Like you, trying to avoid my question. What's going on? The grapevine has it that Lance Yates has been asking questions about your relationship with Dan. Word is Lance's interested.

Ashby marked a price on the tag she was holding. “Lance…” she said. Handsome, Christian, a hard worker. She'd thought of the rather stilted conversation they'd had in the hallway at church a few weeks earlier. She'd thought then that Lance was the perfect guy to fall in love with…. Funny what a difference a few weeks could make. “He's a nice guy.”

“But?”

Ashby's brow creased as she looked at her friend and lifted one shoulder. There were things about Dan she couldn't explain to Rose. Things he'd confided in her that she knew instinctively he hadn't shared with many people. How could she tell Rose that he might not want children? She couldn't, because she suspected that the things he'd suffered through in his childhood had something to do with this indecision. She couldn't expose that confidence.

He'd shared his past with her and then he'd told her they had no future together.

She'd heard the message loud and clear when he'd told her that some man was going to be lucky to call her his wife “one of these days.” And had implied it wasn't going to be him.

Ashby knew God had a plan, and a timetable. But there were such things as detours. Was this a detour?

“But,” she said, echoing Rose, “I'm in a big mess. I'm falling for Dan, it's true, but it's complicated and I don't believe anything can come of it.”

Rose's teasing grin turned to one of comfort. “God can work anything out, Ashby. No matter how complicated.”

Ashby took her words to heart. “I know you're right.” But the question was, would He? And could she give her heart over to a man who might not want the same things in life that she did? Could she sacrifice her dreams of a family for a man who might not be able to overcome the way his past was holding him back? God forgive her, but she wasn't sure she could.

And it might not be a question left up to her. Dan clearly had his own thoughts when it came to this.

“Trust Him, Ashby. Let go, and trust the Lord.”

“I keep thinking I am, only to realize I'm floundering again.”

“Believe me, I understand completely. It's much easier for me to tell you to trust the Lord when you're the one in the midst of the turmoil. I've had my share of moments and I'm sure I'll have more. But as I'm certain you already know, God is very patient and gracious.”

Ashby was still thinking about Rose's words hours later when she was alone in the store. Rose had left for the day to pick up Max from school, having hugged Ashby before she left. The woman was a walking, talking blessing to Ashby, and by the time she'd left for the day Ashby was feeling better. She was just going to keep doing what she'd been doing and trust the Lord to show her the way.

When the door opened at four o'clock and Dan walked in, she felt such gladness inside that she couldn't deny it.

“Hi,” he said.

“Hello.” She glued her eyes to the computer screen, trying to keep her wits about her.

“Busy, huh?” he commented.

“Mmm-hmm,” she mumbled, scanning numbers she was no longer seeing.

“Look, I was on my way through town. I have on my farrier cap today and I'm heading out to fix up a couple of Jack Newman's horses. I was wondering if you would ride out to my place with me when I get back into town. I wanted to ask your advice about something.”

Ashby should have told him no immediately. “What is it you want to know?” she asked. She was amazed that she sounded so normal. She didn't feel normal at all.

“It's a secret.” That trademark smile bloomed across his face, sending Ashby's heart into a nosedive. “You have to come with me to find out.”

“Okay,” she managed to say.

His eyes lit up and the smile grew warmer still. “Good,” he said, backing toward the door. “Great. I'll be back.”

Ashby knew she'd lost her mind. Straight up, as Applegate Thornton would say.

Dan bumped into a clothes rack. “I'll be back around closing time,” he said, thrusting a blouse back into its slot before reaching for the door. She understood suddenly that he was struggling with feelings just as much as she was—or at least it appeared that way.

Ashby watched him go. It was as if she'd just dived off the end of a pier. The problem was she couldn't swim.

 

“A barbecue.”

Ashby stood in the center of the newly cleaned concrete slab and surveyed the area. Cleared off, it looked huge.

“Yeah, to thank everyone for all they've done. Don't you think this would be perfect?”

Ashby walked to the center of the slab to put distance between them. Obviously, he'd gone home and showered before coming to pick her up at the shop, and as he had the day before, he smelled of spicy soap and a light, appealing aftershave that did things to her concentration. Thus the distance. Who was she kidding—she needed the distance simply for the fact that she couldn't think while standing near him. Aftershave had nothing to do with it.

“That sounds like a wonderful idea.” It did. And like something the man she was getting to know—the man she was falling in love with—would do.

“So will you help me?”

“Help you?” The question took her by surprise.

He looked uncharacteristically sheepish. “Yeah, I figure with all that fancy upbringing, you could help me put on a great party. I don't know a thing about doing something like that.”

Ashby had to laugh. “You mean you want a barbecue spread set with crystal and silver? Pretty fancy stuff.”

He blushed. She actually saw the pink beneath his tan.

Adorable.

“Not exactly what I had in mind,” he said, his eyes twinkling. “But will you help?”

Ashby swallowed, feeling the lump in her throat. “Certainly.” She spun away and studied the area, her thoughts spinning. “You want to have the party before Thursday?”

He came to stand beside her. “Is that asking for the impossible?”

She looked up at him and shook her head, as much for her sake as his. He wanted her advice. That was all. “Okay, let's envision this.” She started to walk away again, but his hand on her arm stopped her, tugging her into his arms. She leaned her forehead against his shoulder and his arms tightened.

“Thank you,” he whispered, and kissed her hair.

The tenderness of the gesture caused a sadness to fill Ashby, knowing there were so many reasons this might never work. It felt right being in Dan's arms. She closed her eyes and lived in the moment. There was a protest going on inside her head, but she let it go. Reality would return soon enough. For now, as Rose had urged her, she lived in this sweet moment with Dan.

As if sensing her sadness, he hugged her tighter. “I have another surprise,” he said. She thought she felt his arms tremble and she felt a sense of loss as he dropped one arm, but felt happy again when he tucked her beneath the other one and started toward the barn.

“I don't know if I'm ready for more surprises,” she said, fighting back a sense of longing. The moment felt so perfect. But she feared it couldn't last.

He laughed and rubbed her arm as he hugged her, then continued walking.

Once there, he opened the door and tugged her inside.

“All the way down here,” he said, leading her to one of the stalls. “Ash, meet Gracie.”

It was a foal. A gangly, adorable black foal that couldn't be more than a few days old.

“When did this happen?” Ashby asked, her voice hushed in awe.

“Last week. She was over at Clint's so I could keep an eye on her, back when I was staying out there. We didn't transport them here until this morning.”

Ashby reached in and called to the baby. Her mother made a gentle snorting sound, and to Ashby's surprise, nudged the foal toward her. Ashby met the mare's eyes and wondered if they were kindred spirits. “What a proud mama you have,” she murmured, running gentle fingers down Gracie's forehead.

The mare lifted her head as if preening, and Ashby laughed softly.

“She likes you.”

“The feeling is mutual.” Ashby glanced over at Dan. He was watching her and she had to force her attention back to the young colt, feeling as gangly and unsteady as Gracie. “This was a nice surprise,” she managed, hoping it sounded less vulnerable than she felt.

“Oh, Gracie isn't the surprise. She's just standing beside it.”

His teasing words had Ashby looking around. There wasn't anything in the stall beside Gracie. Ashby looked at him with questioning eyes. “So are you going to pull whatever it is out of your hat? There isn't anything here.”

He nodded. “Oh, yes, there is.”

He moved past her and went into the empty stall beside Gracie. In a second, he came out with the bike he'd ridden in the race.

“I have been thinking about this a lot lately. For the life of me, I can't figure out why you wouldn't ride this thing. Why you wouldn't even get on it.”

She gave Gracie one last caress, then turned and started walking out of the stable.

“C'mon, Ash, don't run away.”

“Dan Dawson. If I don't want to ride a bike, I don't have to.”

“Ash, you can't ride, can you? That's what it is.”

Well, she couldn't be any more humiliated. He might as well know the truth. Ashby swung around. “No. I can't ride. And I can't swim, either. There, are you happy?”

He laughed and threw his hands up in the air. Of all the reactions, that was not what she'd expected. Spinning away, she stormed out of the barn and across the yard.

But she knew she was acting foolish and petty. After all, he'd shared his past with her, and this was a silly bike.

“Ash, wait. I wasn't laughing at you.”

His words stopped her short. She knew him. She hadn't known before, but she knew now that he would never do this out of spite. The knowledge was certain, so much different than her opinion of him all those weeks ago when they'd been in the bike race together. “I know,” she admitted with a sigh. “I overreacted. I'm sorry.”

“Completely understandable,” he said, pushing the bike toward her. “I've been puzzling over this for more than a month now, and honestly this was all I could finally come up with. You talking about your upbringing the other day planted this seed of an idea. Sure, you're a little stiff at times—now, don't blow a gasket! You've been better lately and I understand where that comes from now. But even that didn't explain why you wouldn't ride the bike. It finally hit me that people are generally defensive about things that are scary to them, new to them, or if they're hiding something. I took a chance that you couldn't ride.”

“It's just so ridiculous for a grown woman not to know how to do something most kids learn to do early,” she said.

“Not really. People don't always have opportunities to learn what some take for granted. I want to teach you to ride.”

Ashby shifted from one foot to the other. She took a deep breath. “My mother thought bike riding was a waste of my time. Swimming too dangerous.”

Dan studied her with an encouraging light in his eyes. “I'll teach you to swim, too.”

“I'm almost thirty years old.”

He laughed, threw his head back and belted one out. “You act like thirty is the end of the world. You can still learn new things even at that ripe old age.”

Ashby blushed. She knew he was right. She'd said she wasn't going to let her mother's insecurities continue to affect her life, but here she was, letting them do just that. “Then teach me,” she said, planting her fists on her hips. “Teach me how to ride that bike. We'll talk about swimming after that.”

He flashed that grin that made her toes curl up. “Well get ready, sugar pie. This is going to be one afternoon you won't soon forget.”

It already was.