Hellsbane 01 - Hellsbane (9 page)

“So, you’ve given in to your feelings before?”

He shook his head, eyes down. “No,” he said. “But there were times I opened my heart too much, loved more than was safe, and it cost me…dearly.”

“You were punished?”

“By no one other than myself,” he said.

“Then…?”

“I’ve trained hundreds of illorum, and I’ve watched nearly every one of them perish in battle,” he said. “Each death is vividly etched into my mind and seared forever on my heart.”

I could read his emotions. I wasn’t trying, but I didn’t have to. The way he held himself, the tension across the shoulders, the tightening around the eyes, the hesitation in his voice, gave away his feelings. I knew his pain was even more than he could admit.

“But one, at least, hurt more than all the rest,” I said. “Didn’t it?”

He shrugged—casually pretending the memories were less painful than he’d first let on. “There was one. Jeannette d’Arc. She lived more than five hundred years ago, in a small village in France. She was just a child when I first met her. All of twelve years old, with the light of faith and grace bright as Heaven itself in her eyes.”

“She was pretty?” I sounded jealous. Maybe I was.

“What is pretty?” He shook his head. “She was captivating. I’d never met a human so sublimely alluring and so fully connected to earth and spirit. She was the ideal blending of Heaven and earth if ever there was one. And she was mine. That is, she was my…responsibility. Or she soon would be.” He looked away.

“Relax, Eli,” I said. “You’re not the first person to stomp all over good sense and fall for someone y’know damn well you shouldn’t.”

He smiled and my heart skipped, stupidly pleased that I’d put him at ease. “I enjoyed being near her, talking to her. Strong-willed, fearless in a way I’d never known, she was…addicting. Her wisdom and grace, the ethereal beauty within her was a powerful thing.”

“Tommy talked like you’d crossed some kind of line with her. Or at least came close to it.”

Eli dropped his gaze, staring at his shoes. “It’s not my duty to protect—I am forbidden to interfere. I instruct, advise,
only
those marked for duty. In all respects, my interactions with Jeannette were suspect. She was not marked. She was not yet mine to instruct. I knew it then as I know it now, but I was…powerless to turn away.”

“You fell in love with her?” I made it a question but I knew the answer. Everything about his body language let me know his feelings for her cut to the bone.

“I love all those in my charge. But Jeannette…I loved her wholly and completely, with every breath of Heaven in my soul. I loved her…as I love God.”

“And that’s a bad thing?”

“It is a dangerous thing. It compelled me to act in ways that I shouldn’t have. The times in which Jeannette lived were tumultuous. Kingships and successions were argued and fought over. Her country was in turmoil. The simple tasks of life were treacherous. Every day brought the threat of death.”

“And you kept her safe.”

“Not directly—it’s forbidden. But I diverted danger when I could,” he said. “Even when her village was sacked time and again, I did what I could to keep her and her family out of harm’s way. I tried to stay hidden, to watch from a distance so as not to influence her life…”

He stopped for a moment, his gaze swinging up to the night sky, and then he exhaled. “That’s not true. I hid from her sight, but not from her. She felt me as you do now. I made sure of it. I wanted her attention, craved it. I wanted to see her smile for me, to hear her speak. When I wasn’t with her, I thought of her constantly. Worried she would come to harm and I wouldn’t be there.”

“You would’ve defied God to protect her?”

“No. I…” He looked away again. “I don’t know. Once she was marked, everything changed. My conflict between duty and desire both eased and worsened. Now I had cause to be with her always, but this only amplified my infatuation. She was besieged by demons almost instantly. And Jeannette’s superior swordsmanship drew the attention of military commanders who were desperate for any kind of edge in their battles.”

“They wanted her to fight with them,” I said.

“They wanted her to
lead
them,” he said. “Seeing her battle against demons disguised as English soldiers and common ruffians, they believed she fought with divine aid. And Jeannette knew with my help she could accomplish more than any mortal man.”

“Lead them?” Understanding dawned and pity pressed against my chest like a heavy weight. “Eli, are you talking about Joan of Arc? Is Jeannette d’Arc, Joan of Arc?”

He met my gaze. “Yes.”

“Oh, Eli…” It was both amazing and heartbreaking at once. I knew how this story ended. “And she wanted you to interfere in politics, in the evolution of an entire human society…that’s huge. But you aren’t allowed to do that, right?”

His jaw clenched for a second and his brows knitted tight. “I am well aware of what I can do and what I should do, Emma Jane.”

He pushed off the railing, striding to the center of the overlook, then stopped and turned to face me. “I knew what she asked of me was more than I could give, but I swear to you, I could not deny her. Still, I managed to temper my hand in matters. I played the invisible scout, going ahead to spy on the enemy, listening in on critical conversations. It was enough.”

“She used the information to help her army win?” I asked.

“Yes. And her army helped her defend against a constant, ever-increasing barrage of demons,” he said. “The two fates, hers and her country’s, seemed intertwined. The battles they fought brought her closer to the Fallen who sought to kill her.”

“You knew who it was,” I said. “You knew who the Fallen was and where he was hiding. Didn’t you?”

“Yes,” he said. “I put her on his path.”

“Did she know?”

“No. I couldn’t tell her. I shouldn’t have done as much as I did, but I wanted the attacks to stop. I wanted her to be safe, and only the Fallen’s end would achieve it.” His lips tightened. “My feelings for her ruined my reason. It was my fault.”

I wanted to go to him, comfort him. But I didn’t. The way he could make me feel on purpose worried me for what he might do by accident. What if I couldn’t stop? Instead, I leaned against the guardrail and hugged my arms around my belly. “Who was he?”

“The Duke of Bedford,” Eli said. “He’d amassed a great deal of power and influence among humans. And when he heard Jeannette and her fellow warriors had been captured near Compiegne, he ordered that she be sent to him.”

“You couldn’t do anything to stop it?”

“There was no reason,” he said. “Their meeting was inevitable. I’d set her on this path myself. But I underestimated the Fallen’s will to evade his punishment. She was brought to him bound and helpless. He didn’t leave a sliver of opportunity for her to free herself. For nearly a year she was tortured mercilessly.”

“Why didn’t he just kill her?” Seemed the smart thing to do, to get rid of the threat once and for all.

“He wanted to turn her,” Eli said. “He tried to seduce her to turn from her duty, from God. She wouldn’t. So he brutalized her every day. I cannot put into words how much I wanted to go to her, to ease her suffering.”

“You didn’t? You just left her to go through that alone?” My stomach twisted. How could he?

“You think I wouldn’t have rained down the fire of Heaven itself if I could have?” he said, anger burning through his tone. “Every wound, every snap of the whip on her tender flesh, cut me to the bone. But I couldn’t risk interfering any further. God help me, look what my interference had already brought her. My impatience to see her safe put her on this path too soon. I should’ve known she wasn’t ready. I should have surrendered to her destiny long ago. I should have…”

His knees buckled, and he dropped to a squat, his head falling forward into the cup of his hands. “Dear Father, forgive me. He tortured her for nearly a year and Jeannette never once forsook God or me. She fought to hold onto this world for Him…for me.”

Eli lifted his chin, his long fingers still covering his mouth. His cheeks were wet from tears, though none fell as I watched. He stared straight ahead, as though he could see his memories in living color before him.

“The Fallen’s desperation pushed his cruelty to unfathomable lengths. He demanded she turn from God. She refused, so he had her tied to a stake and set her ablaze. This time when she cried out in pain my courage crumbled. I couldn’t refuse her. Not then. Not anymore. I stood with her, shielding the worst of the pain until she finally let go her mortal coil.”

My throat closed, imagining her anguish as the fire ate at her flesh, imagining Eli’s as he forced himself to let it happen. I didn’t care what his effect on me might be. Eli’s memories were swallowing him up. He needed an anchor, and I was the only one around to offer it.

Kneeling in front of him, I held his wrists, his fingers still cupped over his mouth. I wasn’t sure he noticed my touch.

“She knew,” he said, his eyes wide, glistening and unfocused. “She knew I would finally let her go. Her smile was so exquisite, so beautiful, even as the fire burned the rags they’d given her to wear. She told me she loved me and then she…kissed me.” His hands shifted, fingertips touching his lips as though he could still feel hers there. “A moment later she was gone.”

His eyes focused, his hand reaching to brush my cheek. “Trust in this, Emma Jane.” His voice came on a soft shaky breath. “I would not feel that loss again for anything…or anyone. I swear it.”

CHAPTER NINE

“Joan of Arc died, Eli. I don’t want to end up the same way,” I said, swallowing through the tightness in my throat. “This may come as a shock to you, but I don’t want to have my head hacked off or be burned at the stake or have my arms and legs tied to four horses while they run in opposite directions.”

“I don’t want you to die either, Emma Jane,” Eli said, rising from his squat on the overlook.

“Right. That might go over better if I didn’t know most illorum die under your watch.”

“You’re fighting creatures stronger and more cunning than anything on earth. Their desperation makes them driven, not stupid,” he said. “Naturally, there’s some risk.”

“Yeah, I’m picking up on that.”

“You were born for this,” he said. “I’ll practice with you. Help you develop your angelic gifts.”

“Why? So I can die with skill? No thanks.” Images of heads rolling, fires licking at my feet, and brimstone boiling under my skin filled my brain. This couldn’t be my reality. “I want to go home.”

“Emma Jane, don’t you know how lucky you are? How special?” he said.

Oh, he had to be on drugs
. “Right. Lucky me.”

“Come.” He held a hand to me. “I have something to show you.”

I didn’t move. Everything inside me ached to reach out and feel his hand in mine, but I was tired, more than a little freaked, and maybe a smidge stubborn.

“I’m outta here.” I turned, heading for my car, but only managed five steps before I smacked my nose into Eli’s chest. He’d teleported into my path.

“Hey.” I rubbed my nose. “That’s not cool.”

“Perhaps you’ve mistaken my statement for a request,” he said. “It wasn’t.”

“Ah. So it’s like that, is it?”

He snaked an arm around my waist, jerked me to him so our bodies were flush against each other. I gasped, my hands going to his chest on reflex.

“Yes,” he said. “It’s like that.”

A soft wind shifted through my hair, and the world around us blurred as if in motion. But our feet hadn’t moved. The overlook, the cars, the townhouses, the sky, everything raced past us.

Then it was gone. Darkness engulfed us, with only the distant stars twinkling in the vast emptiness. My hands leached around Eli’s neck, brought us cheek to cheek.

“You’re safe in my arms, Emma Jane. Always,” he said, his lips brushing my ear. A shudder traveled straight down to my center with the sweet sound of his words. The man had an orgasmic voice. What a waste.

His embrace loosened, and I leaned back enough to see his face. A soft glow lightened the shadows from behind me, just enough to cast a silvery glow over his expression. Time and space suddenly rushed in on me, and my brain spun like I’d been twirling around on my toes for an hour.

I let go of him with one hand, pressing it to my forehead to stop the spin and to keep my brain from coming out of my ears. “What was that?”

“Your mind is struggling to match speed with your body. May I help?”

I’d told him never to use his power to give me false rapture, but I guess it was like asking a fish not to swim. I nodded and he rested his hand over mine, the warmth of his skin heating through me. The nauseating twirling stopped.

“I hoped moving slower would help lessen the shock, but it seems the effect allowed your vision too much time to try and compensate,” he said.

“We moved at angelic speed?” I asked, guessing.

“No. I am able to travel at the speed of thought. We moved an increment slower.”

“Um, thanks.” I tried to see over his shoulder, to get my bearings, but I couldn’t push up on my toes. I moved the muscles, and nothing happened. I looked at my feet—there was nothing beneath us. No floor, no ground, no…anything, just more blackness and millions and millions of distant twinkly lights.

An icy bolt of panic shot up my spine and I clutched at Eli. My gut twisted and a scream caught in the back of my throat. Eli hugged me tight.

“Where are we?”

“Look behind you,” he said.

It took a few seconds of internal argument, but eventually my courage rallied, and I glanced over my shoulder. “Is that…”

“Earth,” he said.

Sheer awe loosened my grip. I shifted my feet to his—I had to stand on something—and turned, holding his hands to my hips to anchor me, my back to his chest.

The world looked exactly the way it does in all the pictures…but so much more. More beautiful, more breathtaking than any picture could capture.

There was a storm swirling over one of the oceans, and night was quickly approaching for half the world. A thick line of darkness crept over land and water as the planet spun. On the other side, brilliant light ate away the darkness at exactly the same pace.

“This can’t be real. How?” I asked, my brain fighting reason and everything I knew about space and time and reality.

His hands slipped over my belly, his embrace enveloping me. “In the arms of an angel, Emma Jane, all things are possible.”

My eyes closed, and I leaned back into his chest. I tried not to enjoy the feel of him around me, but the heat of his body, the comforting strength of his muscles, and the sweet, summery scent of his skin decimated my willpower.

“Behold what your birthright has brought you, Emma Jane,” he said. “No mortal human could claim as much.”

I opened my eyes and felt that rush of awe all over again at the view. “It’s amazing, Eli. Thank you.”

“This is only the beginning. You have been chosen to battle creatures far more powerful than mere mortals. You are not like other humans; you cannot be. Your task requires much of you, and for it, much has been given. Time and space unravel for you to traverse with the same intrinsic understanding as those you hunt. The world is quite literally at your feet.”

Before I could take a breath, I found myself staring out over a large valley and an ocean beyond. Gone was the great global marble spinning in the endless black of space. Suddenly, I was blinking at a waking cityscape miles below with large water inlets and busy harbors. There was blue sky above me and green land below. We were back on Earth.

Hard, unrelenting wind whipped my hair, making it difficult to see. But I could make out the white sand-lined shores and the short mountain ranges that blocked sections of the city from the ocean.

“Where are we?” I yelled, but my voice was lost on the roaring wind.

Eli tucked me under his arm, and silence descended over us like he’d closed a door. My hair floated back against my head and I could stand on my own. I shoved at the strands over my face and tried to clue in my brain. “Brazil.” Eli pointed at the city. “Rio de Janeiro.”

“It’s beautiful.” My gaze followed the landscape below to the base of the mountain, then to the long winding staircase tracing up the side until they disappeared far below the edge of the outcropping we stood on. It’d been nearly six a.m. in Pittsburgh by the time Eli and I left Earth, which made it nearly seven a.m. in Rio, and the city was already bustling.

What are we standing on?
I fisted my hand around Eli’s jacket and leaned over for a better look. “No way. Christ the Redeemer? Seriously?” We were on his arm and I looked to the left at the huge, white, carved face of Jesus.

“Remarkable, isn’t it?” Eli said. “And yet it pales in comparison to the miracle that is you and those like you.”

He smiled wide, so pleased with himself, and I could
almost
forgive him for not warning me one wrong step could send me tumbling over a hundred feet to the very,
very
hard landing below.

I looked to the growing crowds and the endless line of pilgrims still climbing the mountain. “They don’t see us?”

Eli shook his head. “As in everything, humans only see what they wish to see, what is easily explainable—what is normal.”

With Eli, I was outside everything normal. And I was starting to like it.

“You could reach this spot on your own,” he said. “It’s within your abilities.”

“Really? How?”

“Speed of movement is the key. If not for the physiology of humans, illorum could travel from place to place instantaneously like their fathers,” he said. “But even moving faster than light, there are few places in the world you cannot reach.”

“Sweet.” My mind shifted through the possibilities. “What do I do? Is there a magic word or something?”

“Put the image of where you would like to go in your mind,” he said. “Allow your desire to stand in that exact spot fill you. Then take a step.”

I really wanted to be off the nearly two-hundred-foot statue. Not that I’m afraid of heights, but I figured it’d be better to aim small for my first run at teleportation.

I’d seen the wide landing at the base of the statue when I leaned over, and the stone railing that circled it. I closed my eyes and brought the image of what I’d been looking at seconds before to mind. Wanting to be at the railing was the easy part. Yeah, I wanted to be there, on the ground, safe, before I fell to a horribly painful death. The desire swelled up in me, like turning on a faucet. I took a step.

My second step stumbled me into the stone railing, cracking my knees, scraping my hands when I reached out to stop myself. Eli popped in beside me and scooped an arm around my waist, steadying me.

Tourists already milling about the base threw curious glances my way. It took a second, but I realized they weren’t freaking out, pointing at me in frightened astonishment because I’d suddenly appeared out of nowhere. It was like they hadn’t even noticed.

I forced a smile, nodded, and turned to find a seat on the wall next to Eli. He leaned toward me, bumping shoulders. “Don’t aim into solid objects; you’ll hit them.”

“Thanks for the warning.”

“I thought it went without saying.”

“You thought wrong.”

“Obviously.” He rocked forward onto his feet. “Would you like to try again?”

I rubbed my knee then brushed off my hands. “Where to? Some place soft?”

“The choice is yours,” Eli said. “I will know it when the image enters your mind.”

“Okay. We’ve been to Christ the Redeemer,” I said. “Let’s not play favorites. Ready?”

Eli raised a brow and dipped his chin in acquiescence.

This time the trip took a half second or so longer. I wasn’t traveling across the globe, but Sri Lanka wasn’t exactly a step away…at least not for most people.

The greater distance allowed me to learn more about this lightning-fast mode of travel. This time I felt myself move. Wind rustled through my hair, pressed at my body as I sliced through space and time.

I could see the world blurring by. There were no shapes, nothing I could identify, only a wash of colors gushing from a pinpoint ahead of me, like traveling down a tunnel with a sudden, very abrupt stop at the end. With my next step, I stumbled across the uneven lap of the giant Buddha and into the arms of Eli. My hands latched around his hard biceps, and his hands caught my waist.

“You beat me here,” I said, finding my footing before stepping back from him.

His hands slipped from my body and he rubbed them together, nervous and empty. A moment later he cupped them behind his back.

“My angelic speed is faster,” he said. “The Fallen travel an increment slower, but still faster than any illorum I’ve known. Most demons move slower than light, but far faster than anything humans can visibly track.”

I nodded, letting him know I understood. My gaze tripped out over the city of Kurunegala. Standing in the folded lap of the eighty-eight-foot Buddha statue atop Elephant Rock was a view worth a moment of awed amazement.

It wasn’t as windy here as it’d been in Brazil. At about three thirty, the day was well underway, and the air was warm, the gentle breeze welcome.

“This time,” Eli said from behind me, “you follow me.”

I turned. “Where are you going?”

“See it in my thoughts.”

“Of course. Um, how?”

He clasped his hands in front of him and smiled. “I’m not shielding. Simply find me in your mind and my thoughts will open to you.”

“Right.” I sighed and closed my eyes, reaching out to him with my mind, the same as I’d done a million times when I performed my readings. I found him, and the invisible door inside me opened.

My heart squeezed; a powerful swell of love and peace stole my breath. Electricity tingled down my arms, all over my body, heating my blood through my veins. Ghostly warmth tingled my palms. I rubbed my hands, trying to ignore the feeling, to forget it. But I wanted to experience it again, the sensation of flesh against flesh.

These were emotions I was feeling, Eli’s emotions, same as I’d ever been able to read from anyone. I was in his mind. I focused, pressed beyond the cloud of energy, the aura that surrounded every intelligent mind. I didn’t know if I could; another person’s emotions swamping through me had always been enough to make me want to pull back. I ignored my recoil this time and punched through.

Follow me to the Shiva. Bangalore
. The thought suddenly rippled through my brain as easily as my own.

“India?” I opened my eyes, but Eli was already gone. The image of yet another giant statue flashed through my head. I’d never seen this one before. Not in pictures, not on TV, yet it was clear in my thoughts. I closed my eyes again and imagined my gaze traveling up the statue. Thoughts, buried beneath the image I’d read from Eli, now emerged.

So beautiful. The details, the colors, the marvelous ingenuity of humans.

These were his thoughts. I was seeing the statue through his eyes, through his memories. It was enough. I wanted to go there and I took a step. My next step and the ones after that moved me across the black stone floor to Eli. He leaned an elbow against the guardrail at the base of the statue of the Hindu deity.

It wasn’t as big as the Buddha, but it was still scary big. The four-armed man sat with his legs folded, one set of arms resting in his lap, the other set bent upward at his sides. The right hand gripped a giant trident; in the other he held a small drum, shaped like an hourglass. He wore a cobra around his neck like jewelry and two more on each bicep. His bent knee was at least six feet over my head.
Scary big.