Hello Loved Ones (28 page)

Sally

If ever you need a best friend, it’s at one of the biggest moment in your life. And this—finding your father!—was up there with the best of them. So was a first kiss. And Frannie knew nothing about either. She wasn’t due back from vacation until the day before the banquet. Which, for Sally, was torture. She had to tell
someone!

So she called Patty Ann, who she couldn’t stand, and pretended to have a question about school supplies.
Um, I lost the list Mrs. DeLong mailed us. How many notebooks do we need?
She sounded like an idiot, but she didn’t care. Nothing could ruin the satisfaction of saying
thanks! See you at the banquet!

Nothing could hide the surprise in Patty Ann’s voice.
You’re going?

Yeah, with my dad. Bye now!

She could practically hear the rumor mill churning out the news. There was only a brief period of panic when she thought
why did I do that? What if he doesn’t show?
She’d drag a stranger off the street, that’s what. She had to have
this one night
. Maybe it was silly, but she thought of the banquet like an elevator, letting her off on a different floor. And wouldn’t she enjoy the view! Once she was there, she might never need to leave.

To calm her fears, she tried her dress on fifteen times a day, along with the pair of white pumps Aunt Flookie was loaning her. She set her hair in curlers and wrangled it into various styles, turning the bottom up in a flip, or under in a bob, before shellacking it with Aqua Net. The whole time her mother hovered nearby, babbling at her in an annoying way.
You know I think you’re beautiful, don’t you? I’ve always been so proud of you.

Then she started in with this
remember when
routine.

Remember when you were three years old, and you copied every move I made? You wanted to be just like me.

Or
I remember when I was young like you. I didn’t always make the best decisions. But things have a way of working out.

Sally knew darn well when someone was trying to buddy up to her. But if her mother felt bad about trying to keep Sally from her dad, couldn’t she just say she was sorry? Instead she went on sniveling, not giving Sally a moment of privacy, until Sally wanted to scream
Mother! I don’t really have time to traipse down memory lane!

Then, after all of Prudy’s weepy,
you’re-my-whole-world-Sally
drivel, when the big night came she refused to even wait with Sally in the living room. Even Nell didn’t stick around. She’d announced that morning that she wasn’t feeling well and wouldn’t be going to the banquet after all. But when Mrs. Dekker called from the church and said they desperately needed her help, she threw on her dress and left, looking grim. Sally sat on the nubby plaid davenport, alone, fingering the lace doilies her mother draped over the armrests to hide the threadbare spots. She found a loose thread in the cushion and slowly pulled, knowing her mother would squawk if she saw her. She didn’t care. Let everything come loose. All the resentments and grudges and stubbornness they were so bound up in. Sally wanted to be free of it all.

Besides, she didn’t want to admit it, but she’d expected so much more from her mother. Prudy was still single, after all. So was her dad. They’d loved each other once. Why not again? Not that she’d spend all night playing matchmaker. She planned to enjoy herself. Just a girl and her dad, out having fun. The idea of getting to know him was like a warm sandy path before her. She couldn’t wait to take her shoes off and dig her toes in.

When the bell rang she rose, hating that she had to answer it herself. She wished they had a stairway in their house so she could descend it slowly in her new dress, a picture of loveliness, just like in the movies. Only it wouldn’t be some dumb immature boy standing at the bottom gaping up at her, it would be her father, and he would be so proud of her. She reached for the doorknob.
As long as he’s presentable, that’s all I ask
.

She opened the door.

Richard stood there grinning, and though there was no hiding the gaps where his teeth were missing, his face was clean and shaved. His slicked back hair was freshly cut, and his clothes! Sally couldn’t hide her surprise. He actually looked handsome in a gray jacket with black pants and shiny black shoes.

“Good evening, my lady,” he said with a mock bow.

“Oh! You look wonderful!” And
sober
, she thought.

“What did you expect?” He looked at her with a wide-eyed, hurt expression. Sally didn’t know if he was joking.

“I wasn’t sure,” she admitted. “I’m just glad you’re here.”

He grinned again and took his hands from behind his back. In one he held a wrist corsage in a box. It was a small pink rose surrounded by baby’s breath, with a purple satin bow, and it was the most beautiful flower Sally had ever seen. The other held a box of chocolate-covered cherries. Sally didn’t happen to like chocolate-covered cherries, but she’d eat every last one, and when she did she’d remember how thoughtful her father was, and how perfect this night was.

Because it was going to be perfect. She knew it with a certainty she hadn’t felt before. She knew it by the easy way Richard smiled at her, by the perfect cinch of his necktie and the way he smelled of aftershave. She took his gifts with mumbled thanks and stepped aside to let him in, and that’s when he patted her shoulder, gently, two times.

She hesitated briefly, then threw her arms around him.

“Thank you for coming!”

He held her a moment, his breath warming the top of her head. He’s my dad, she thought.
My dad
. She knew that whatever happened, whether her friends made fun of him, or her mother was angry with her, or Nell and Lenny thought she was a selfish fool, this moment was enough.

“Sorry,” she said, pulling away.

He shrugged. “I have that effect on the ladies.” He looked around the empty living room. “Where’s your mother?”

“Um…she’s not coming out.”

He pursed his lips and nodded. “Nice to see you too, Prudy!” he called loudly. “Oh, yes! We
will
have a wonderful time. Thank you!” He rolled his eyes at Sally and gestured toward the door. She looked back only briefly, hoping to see her mother. How much more perfect this would be with her blessing. But that was one blessing she couldn’t count. Anyway, she wasn’t interested in tallies right now. She wanted to be a giant slate, wiped clean.

They crossed the porch together and headed into the night. Richard walked with such a jaunty gait that his suit coat swung open and Sally caught a glimpse inside: a silver lining, shiny smooth. A label with a name she couldn’t read. A pocket, mysterious and warm. Underneath, a beating heart.

This
must be the feeling the other girls thrived on when it came to boys, this decision to love a person before knowing a thing about him! Or the knowledge that whatever you learned wouldn’t make a bit of difference. Call it love. Or butterflies. To Sally it was heavenly.

“Your mom got a boyfriend?” he asked.

Sally laughed. The idea was so preposterous. She was about to tell him when a sudden pang made her close her mouth. Her mother didn’t deserve that. And maybe it would help to keep him guessing. So she said, “She thinks this sort of thing is silly.”

“Your mother was hooked into this sort of fuss too, when she was your age. You know she almost won Miss Clover Honey?”

She allowed a wry smile. “I’ve heard.”

“A banquet such as this isn’t any more silly than a beauty contest.”

“You knew her for a long time, huh?” Was this where he’d start bad-mouthing her?

But he looked thoughtful before he said, “Long enough to screw up her life. And yours.”

It was like cold water splashed on her face, hearing that. Well, good. No bitterness. No idle chit chat either. She could almost hear her brain slide into a higher gear. Just give me a moment to rev up, it said. This was so different from the family she’d known, where no one ever wanted to talk about anything.

“You’re here now,” she said. “We can make a fresh start.”
All of us
.

Richard cleared his throat. “Sally, I have to be honest with you. I don’t know that too much will change after this. I’m not the sort of guy you want to start counting on.”

But she was cruising now. “Don’t say that! I don’t believe what everyone says about you and you shouldn’t either.”

He groaned. “You’re not going to start talking about self-esteem and faith and that kind of shit, are you? ‘Cause I’ve heard all about how much Jesus loves me.”

“No. I’ll leave that to Nell.”

“Let’s leave it period. Some of the best preachers around have given up on me. I’m what you call a modern man, and the church doesn’t deal with modern.”

“What exactly is a modern man?”

“I make things happen on my own terms.”

Sally liked the sound of that. “I’m modern too,” she said.

He slowed and put a hand on her arm. “No, I’m a real son of a bitch,” he said. “We should at least admit that to each other.”

How she loved him! Each time he admitted something about himself it was a like a shutter rolling up with a snap. Here I am. Come in. Look at the mess in here.

She wasn’t afraid of it.

“I don’t believe that.”

“Then you’re the only one. What’s the buzz about me anyway?”

Buzz? More like a roar. Lazy, selfish, mean-spirited, conceited, good-for-nothing drunk.

“Stupid stuff,” she said. “People around here don’t know what they’re talking about.”

He snorted. “Anyway, what do I care?” But he looked like he wanted to give somebody’s face five good reasons why he cared. Okay. So maybe inside him there was a kettle on a back burner and it was set to boil.

She’d be careful with him. No sweat. But how come when you tell yourself that, you start to sweat? On top of that, she tripped.

“First time wearing heels?” he asked, catching her with one arm.

“No.” She sounded defensive, but it embarrassed her that he’d guessed. Besides, if he’d been around he would know that it was her first time.

“You must have been surprised to see Lenny again,” she said, to change the subject.

“You could say that.”

“I still don’t know why he tracked you down like that. He hates you.”

He gave her a
well-thank-you-very-much
face. He knew it, though. She could tell.

“He was concerned about you, I guess,” he said after a pause. “Just like Nell was concerned about you when she took Voss’ car.”

“They weren’t worried about me. They just wanted to keep me away from you so they didn’t have to see you again.”

That look again. “Is that so?”

Could it be he really didn’t know these things?

“I don’t mean to make you feel bad.”

“Don’t worry about me.”

“They just have memories, is all. They find it hard to believe a person can change.”

“Not like you, huh?”

She shrugged.

“Well, they may just be right. On the other hand, I probably mellowed a little over the years.”

Sally didn’t want to ruin things, but this talk of Lenny and Nell, well, it was like they were standing behind her tapping her on the shoulder.
Why don’t you ask him about the time he smashed the window? Or the time he made us take our Christmas tree out to the curb on Christmas Eve because we didn’t wait for him before decorating it?

“Lenny says he’s the one who made you leave,” she said, careful to keep her voice normal. “Is that a fair assessment?”
Assessment?
She sounded like a school teacher. In fact, those words might be something she’d heard the principal say to a boy he caught fighting in the hall.

Richard made that sound that when you see it in books it looks like
hmpf
, with all the vowels sucked out.

“Lenny was a kid,” he said.

Remember, clean slate. But there was that tap again.

“What was it made you leave, anyway?”

He rubbed his hand over his face. “Aw, who can remember that far back?”

“Nell can. And Lenny.”

He stopped suddenly. “So listen here. You want to have a good time tonight, or not?”

Sally nodded.

“Then let’s not rehash all that unpleasantness. I don’t see it doing anyone any good.”

Now the darn tap was like a pair of hands around her throat. Whether the hands came from Lenny or Nell, or from somewhere inside herself, she didn’t know.

She took a breath. “I just would feel better knowing the particulars.”

His jaw tightened. “And I’d feel better dropping it.”