Heller’s Decision (38 page)

“Hey!” I
protested. “That’s a bit harsh. Why don’t you focus on all the good
work I do for once?”

“And what’s
your point, Brady?” Trent asked impatiently.

He smiled at
us. Brady actually smiled, so I knew it wasn’t good news for me.
“And now the station manager wants to see her in his office
immediately.”

Chapter
25

I ascended the
floors in the lift with dread. I presented myself to the manager’s
personal assistant, the perfect embodiment of Corporate, with her
perfectly coiffed hair and a tiny skirt suit that probably cost as
much as my weekly pay packet.

“May I help
you?” she asked, with all the warmth of a frozen mammoth.

“I’m here to
see Mr . . .” I realised I didn’t even know the guy’s name, though
I’d seen him swanning around the station. I pointed a thumb at his
closed door and gave her my most charming smile. “Him.”

“Mr
Reynolds
,” she said with added emphasis for my benefit, “is
busy at the moment. Take a seat.”

And I sat and
sat for about an hour, growing more impatient with every minute.
The PA didn’t even offer me a glass of water and tried to look busy
so she could ignore me. I knew this was a way to remind me of my
lowly status and importance in the organisation, but the rudeness
irked me. So I pulled out my phone and pretended to nonchalantly
play games on it until I was – finally – summoned to his lordship’s
chambers. And I knew I hadn’t miss-seen his hand patting his PA’s
butt when she left after bringing me in – a rude git
and
a
chauvinist.
Yippee! I really hit the jackpot today.

After the wait
and witnessing that little spot of sexual harassment, I probably
wasn’t in the most respectful mood. I flopped into the chair in
front of his desk with some injudicious attitude.

He didn’t even
make eye contact with me, instead choosing to look down at some
paperwork in front of him.

“That reverend
weirdo person is filing a lawsuit against the station. So is the
animal trainer. And you’ve wrecked two fleet vehicles.”

“They’re not
wrecked, just a little damaged. And it wasn’t my fault either
time.”

“You’re fired.
Collect your personal possessions and leave.”

My cheeks
burned and blazed as if he’d slapped me.

“What?” I
asked, incredulous, even though I’d heard him loud and clear.
“You’re firing me? Without even giving me a chance to explain?
Without even a warning?”

“Yes, you’re
fired. We’re running a business here, not a circus. Do you realise
that? Go pack up your stuff and leave now. Security will escort you
out. I’ll get someone to contact you with details about sorting out
your final pay and all those other boring HR things.”

He turned his
back on me and pulled out his phone to make a call.

I appealed to
him. “Mr Reynolds.”

“Goodbye.” He
swung back and looked up from his phone screen briefly. “Best not
to cause a scene.”

Stunned and
stung, I stumbled back to my desk to pack up my belongings. Trent
came out of his office and squeezed my shoulder. Everybody knew
what had happened to me without me needing to say anything.

“I’m so sorry,
Tilly. That guy’s a bastard.”

“Isn’t there
anything you can do? I need this job.”

“I’m sorry. I’m
at management’s mercy as much as you.”

And with my
last flame of hope extinguished, I finished packing up my things. I
didn’t say goodbye or speak to anyone as I left the building,
humiliated by my situation.

I drove in a
total daze, completely unaware of my surroundings. A fleet of
police cars could have chased me home, flashing lights and sirens,
and I wouldn’t have noticed.

Back at the
Warehouse, I trailed up the stairs to the rooftop. It was empty. I
took off my watch, my shoes and took my phone from my pocket,
grabbed a wineglass and a fresh bottle of wine, and slid into the
hot tub – work clothes and all. And for the rest of the afternoon I
sat in the hot tub drinking wine and crying, undisturbed by
anyone.

Later in the
evening, Sid and Clive walked through the door, bickering over
something. Clive took one look at me and fled to safer, less
emotional, parts of the Warehouse. Sid approached me warily, patted
me on the shoulder a couple of times, made some vague comforting
noises, helpless to know what to say or do. He soon fled after
Clive.

A while later,
when Daniel came up, perhaps tipped-off by the twins, he didn’t
desert me. Instead, he refreshed my wine, poured himself one and
joined me.

“Come here,” he
demanded, holding out his arms. I scooted over to be hugged by him,
taking comfort from him in a way I hadn’t even realised how badly
I’d needed until then.

I leaned
against his shoulder and let it all flow out – detailing every
little thing that made my life such a stinking pile of flyblown
shit. Somehow he managed to decipher my snotty blubberings to learn
about my recent double-whammy with Heller and the station.

“So what are
you planning on doing?” he asked.

“I don’t know,”
I admitted, heaving in great breaths. “Leave? Go home to my
parents? Go back to live with Dixie and starve to death? Heller
won’t let me stay here without a job and I don’t even want to stay
with him after this. I have to sit here tonight while he’s off
fucking that other woman. I refuse to do that even once, let alone
all the times he’ll probably want to do it in the future, ‘for the
good of the business’.”

“Hard as it is
to take, that’s what he genuinely believes, Tilly.”

“That’s
bullshit, Danny! He just wants to screw around with whomever he
wants, whenever he wants. I was stupid to ever think I was special
or different to him. I was just another woman to conquer.”

“I don’t think
that’s true at all. I’ve never seen him spend so much time with a
woman or pay her so much attention. I truly, honestly believe that
he loves you, as much as Heller can love anyone.” We both sipped on
our wines. “Tilly, you know I love you.”

I managed a
weak smile. “That, I don’t doubt for a moment. And you know I love
you too.”

“Yes, I do.” He
kissed my forehead. “So when I say that I – that we all – want you
and Heller to succeed as a couple, I mean it in the best, most
respectful, way.”

I stared at
him, my wine glass halfway to my lips. “What are you saying, Danny?
That whatever he does, I should just suck it up and forgive
him?”

“I’m saying
you’re good for him. He’s calmer when you’re around. But he’s not
perfect, Tilly. You know that. And he’s never going to be. And he’s
not good with relationships. He’s going to make mistakes along the
way. Sometimes they’re going to be of epic proportions like this
one. Sometimes you might get hurt.”

Fresh tears
poured down my cheeks. “I’m hurting badly now.”

“I know you
are. But we all desperately want you to stay here.” He contemplated
the swirling, steamy water, taking a sip of his wine. “I don’t know
what he’ll be like if you ever leave.”

“Thank you,
Daniel. That’s enough for now. Matilda and I need to talk.”

I spun around,
not having heard Heller approach. I looked at Daniel with dismay.
“Did you set me up for him?”

“No, of course
I didn’t. You know he sees everything with the cameras. But in any
case, he’s right. You both really need to talk. At least hear him
out, Tilly.” He left as quietly as Heller had arrived.

I swiped my
eyes with my wrists, a bit of a mistake as the chemicals from the
hot tub water only made them redder. We sat in silence for a
while.

“You look
upset, my sweet.”

I stared down
at my wine. “I’m fine, thanks for asking,” I replied flatly.

He put a finger
under my chin and raised my face, so I was forced to meet his eyes.
“I don’t think you are.”

I stared at him
defiantly. “I was fired. There! You can laugh about how useless I
am if you want to; about how I couldn’t even hold down the job I
got when I lost my job with you. And don’t worry. I won’t be a
burden on you. I’ll pack up all my things and leave tonight, now
that I have no job and no way to support myself.” I sniffed a few
times feeling more than a little sorry for myself. “And I’ll catch
the bus too, so you don’t have to fret about me taking your
car.”

“You’re not
going to leave here. You’re not going to leave me.”

“I’ll do what I
want to. You can’t stop me. And you can’t make me stay here if I
don’t want to. I want to go back to my real home.” I started crying
again. “I need to be with my mum right now.”

“Daniel and Niq
need you to be here.”

“Don’t try to
guilt me out.”

“I need you to
be here too. What if I told you I decided not to go out
tonight?”

I stilled,
blinking tear-drenched eyes at him. “Why not? You seemed pretty
adamant about it last night.”

He half-smiled.
“I thought about what you said, and realised you were right. You
spoke from your heart and though you were angry, what you said was
true. My business
is
mature enough now not to need to do
that anymore, even though it’s been a huge business advantage to me
so far.” He shifted closer. I moved farther away. “I tried an
experiment this afternoon. Instead of delivering the surveillance
contract personally for her to sign tonight –”

“Followed by a
reward of you,” I snapped, moving away again when he closed in. At
this rate we’d soon be setting off a whirlpool.

“So instead of
me delivering it myself tonight, as I would with many female
clients, I sent Sid with the contract to her this afternoon. She
signed it without any quibbling, and that was that. I have a new
client and I didn’t have to become personally involved with
her.”

“Fantastic. I
guess as long as your business is functioning well, that’s all that
matters to you.” I stood up, ready to climb out. I’d heard
enough.

He grasped my
hand and yanked me back down. “That’s not all that matters to me.
Why do you think I tried that experiment and will keep doing that
from now on, now I know it’s successful?”

I shrugged with
feigned indifference, looking away. “I dunno. Maybe you’ve grown
bored of putting it about.”

“Maybe I have.
Maybe I don’t have the need to do that any longer.” He sank down in
the water, stretching both arms out on the rim of the hot tub.
Though he cast his eyes to the sky, pretending to contemplate, the
fingers of one of his hands brushed my bare shoulder. But when his
fingers began to delicately caress my skin, I knew it was no
accidental encounter. “Why do you think I don’t have that need
anymore?”

“I don’t know,”
I said, almost in a whisper, loving the sensation of his fingers on
my skin.

“Maybe there’s
someone in my life giving me what I need every day.”

“Yeah, well, I
guess having sex every day is going to do that for a guy like you,
no matter who it’s with.”

“It’s not just
the sex, though I won’t deny that it’s important for a ‘guy like
me’. In truth though, I could have sex with any woman, but none of
them would give me what you give me.”

I looked away
again. “I don’t have anything special to give anyone.”

This time I
didn’t scoot away when he moved a little closer – close enough for
his outstretched fingers to stroke the back of my neck. “Yes, you
do. You give me
you
– Matilda Chalmers. Twenty-six years
old, a complete disaster as an employee, a whole pile of trouble,
loving, warm-hearted, generous, smart, and . . .”

I waited. “And
what?”

“And with an
amazing pair of breasts.” His eyes lingered on those primly hidden
treasures, though my shirt had grown translucent with the water, so
he was probably copping more than an eyeful.

I smiled
reluctantly. “Stop it, you old perv.”

“Matilda,” he
leaned in closer, his other hand resting on my thigh. “Come with me
to my bedroom. We can finish talking about all this there.”

I snorted my
disbelief. “Right! Because that’s what we’ll do – talk.”

His hand crept
further up my thigh. “We might do some other things too.”

I picked his
hand up off my leg and stood. “I need some time on my own. These
last few days have really shaken me. I need to think about what I’m
going to do with my life now that I don’t have a job.”

I quickly dried
off and left him sitting by himself in the hot tub, not unhappy
about the disappointment on his face at my departure. It was about
time he realised I wasn’t there at his beck and call.

In the shower I
thought about what we’d discussed. I believed everything he’d said
to me and while in one way it warmed me to know that he’d made a
decision to remain faithful, in another I hadn’t recovered from the
hurt he’d caused by even considering the alternative. I’d told Mum
that he was one of a kind, and I suppose that meant if I wanted to
be with him, I’d have to learn to get used to the many things about
him that puzzled and frustrated me. I knew I had no chance of ever
changing him, but this whole sorry episode made me think that maybe
I could show him another way of being, simply by loving him. Maybe
it was the one thing he needed in his life? Maybe it was the one
thing I needed? Maybe our relationship could help us both grow as
people over time?

Those
contemplative thoughts followed me to bed. Without Heller’s
comforting bulk on the other side, my bed felt empty and lonely.
But though I missed him, I thought it would be beneficial for us to
spend some time apart, to give us a chance to both feel that ache
in our hearts from separation from our lover.

The following
morning, the beginning of my first day of unemployment, I was at a
loose end. Clive kicked me out the security section when I snooped
around there. Heller chased me from the main office when I dared to
poke my head in. I drifted upstairs to the rooftop, thinking I
could help by weeding the herb garden, but it was pristine, the
herbs lush, green, well watered and weed-free. Instead, I thought
I’d clean its kitchenette area and the barbeque, but they were
spotless and sparkling. I searched around for something to do, but
everything was neat and orderly, even the concrete floor freshly
swept.