Heller (31 page)

I sat up with
excitement. “Really? I would love to do that.”

“Yes.”

“I’ll really
be able to kick people’s butts then.”

He shook his
head with exasperation. I’m not sure what happened after that. I
leaned up to kiss him on the cheek in thanks, but he turned his
head at the last second, and instead I found my lips touching
his.

Dangerous.

The kiss
started tentatively, a quick brush of his lips against mine,
becoming harder and more insistent each time his lips returned. His
eyes were staring down into mine with an intensity I’d never
experienced. I parted my lips and our tongues met, hesitantly at
first, then more urgently. He moved one of his hands languorously
up my back and buried it in my hair. He bowed his head and kissed
the base of my neck, my skin tingling as he traced a trail of soft
kisses up my neck, over my chin and back to my lips, his tongue
flicking out again. Every nerve in my body was on full alert, my
nipples hard, a throbbing heat building inside. He brushed one of
my nipples with his fingers and I couldn’t suppress a low moan of
pleasure. God! It had been such a long time for me. And what an
amazing drought-breaker he would be.

He pressed me
back onto the lounge. I wrapped my arms around him, revelling in
the hardness of his shoulder muscles through his shirt as he pushed
my legs apart with his knee. We kissed again, more deeply, and he
slid his hand under my top to cup my breast, rubbing his thumb
gently against my nipple. His other arm reached around behind me
and pressed my hips closer to his. I could feel the rigidity of his
erection through our jeans, and was very interested in exploring it
with greater attention in the immediate future. I wrapped my legs
around him so he could press it up even closer to me. He moved it
against me in a very suggestive way that made my eyes roll back in
my head with pleasure. Oh boy, if only he was doing that while we
were naked!

He leaned
towards my ear and pleaded, his hot breath tickling me. “Sleep with
me tonight, Matilda. Please. I’m desperate for you.”

Just then
though, the image of Heller fucking the tanned blonde woman with
the red nails flashed unbidden into my head again. I struggled
against him, pushing him backwards. He let me go and sat up, utter
bewilderment across his face. He probably wasn’t used to being
rejected.

I sat next to
him and took a deep and shaky breath. “I don’t think that would be
a good idea.”

“I think it’s
the best idea I’ve had in years.” He ran his hand up my arm and
leaned over to kiss me on the lips again. Once more, I pushed him
away.

“Well, I
don’t. For one thing I’m quite pissed at the moment and I don’t
want to make that kind of important decision when I’m not sober.
Secondly, you’re my boss. Sleeping with you would affect our
professional relationship. It would be too intense – it would get
emotional. No, scrub that. I mean that
I
would get
emotional. I hate one-night stands. I always feel cheap and dirty
the next day. I just can’t be as detached as you. I can’t be so
casual about sex.”

“Who said it
would be casual or a one-night stand?”

“Do you ever
have any other kind of sex?”

He hesitated.
“No.”

“Heller,
please. I don’t want to be another notch on your bedhead. I love my
job and I want to keep working for you. Sleeping with you would
make that difficult.”

He sighed in
regret, running his fingers through his spiky hair, then cupped his
hands around my face and kissed me slowly and sweetly. “Okay
Matilda, the big bad wolf will let you go this time. But next time
you might not be so lucky.”

God, I
better not let there be a next time
, I thought frantically. My
will power was fading fast.

Later in bed,
after he had left, I wondered if Heller was as frustrated as me or
whether he had already carelessly shrugged off his
disappointment.

I slept until
noon and roused slowly and groggily to find Niq looking down at me.
I blinked and groaned. “Niq, what are you doing here? You’re not
supposed to just come into my flat.”

“I wanted to
make sure you got home safely.” He stared at me. “You look scary,”
he remarked rudely. I swatted him away and rolled out of bed,
cautiously testing my sore ankle. It wasn’t too bad. Heller was
probably right – with a bit of rest it would be fine by tomorrow. I
went into the bathroom and peered at myself in the mirror.

Niq hadn’t
been joking! I was an absolute fright. My eye makeup had smeared
everywhere, giving me the appearance of an evil panda. My hair was
completely flat on one side and tangled and sticking out creatively
on the other. I had pillow creases on my face. I was still wearing
the clothes I had on last night and everything stank like
cigarettes and booze. I spent the day righting the wrongs of the
night by showering, shampooing, washing, drinking litres of water
and popping some paracetamol and vitamins.

I forced Niq
to run errands for me while I rested my ankle and we spent the
afternoon watching DVDs. Daniel popped in for a while, but I didn’t
see or speak to Heller all day. That was fine by me, as I was
feeling a bit awkward after the night before. I didn’t ring Will,
but I thought about it during the day. I didn’t want to seem too
keen, but wasn’t completely sure I wanted to ring either. I went to
bed very early that night.

Next morning I
woke at dawn and decided to hit the gym. I hadn’t visited for a
while due to my injuries, but my bruises were virtually gone, my
ankle was fine and I thought I could handle the treadmill at least.
I grabbed my new iPod that Niq had thoughtfully loaded up with all
of his favourite emo, Goth and punk bands, even though I’d asked
him to put my favourite music on it. It was sure to be an
interesting selection.

I was walking
down the stairs when I met Heller walking up. He was dressed in his
usual ‘out on the prowl’ gear – black jeans, a beautiful midnight
blue shirt, pointed black shoes. He was carrying his leather
jacket. I stopped when I saw him. He looked tired, struggling to
walk up the stairs, but had that unmistakable look of fulfilment on
his face, his eyes soft. He paused for a second when he noticed me,
then continued to climb the stairs, drawing parallel with me. I
caught a whiff of perfume and alcohol from his skin.

“Don’t look at
me like that, Matilda,” he warned, and continued slowly trudging up
the stairs. I turned to watch him in silence until he disappeared
from view. He didn’t glance back.

I pushed
myself on the treadmill, hoping to banish the mental images that
were now crowding my mind, trying to convince myself that it was
not my business what Heller was up to in his time off. I managed to
get up to running speed listening to Green Day for forty minutes,
despite my protesting muscles. Exhausted, I went back upstairs,
showered and made myself a hearty breakfast of omelette and
toast.

I rang Dixie
as soon as I thought there was the slightest chance that she would
be awake. She was groggy until I told her what had happened the
night before last.

“Are you
shitting me?” she exploded. “You said
no
? You turned Heller
down? Tilly, are you insane? You said no to the best fuck you are
probably ever going to get in your entire life? Oh man, you are so
stupid.”

“It would only
make everything complicated and intense.”

“Hey, do you
reckon he’s still horny, cause you can send him my way if he is. I
bloody well wouldn’t say no to a piece of that! Ever!”

“I think he
sorted it out for himself already,” I said and told her my
suspicions.

She laughed.
“What a dirty dog he is! That’s what happens when you don’t put
out, Tilly. They go find someone else. There’s always someone else,
especially for someone as hot as him.”

“You know
Dixie, you are
such
a comfort to me at times like this,” I
said sarcastically. “And anyway it really pisses me off that he
just waltzes off and gets laid, like nothing happened.”

“You need to
do the same. Ring that Will guy. Get some action, Tils,” she
advised.

“I don’t know
if I want to,” I complained and could almost hear her rolling her
eyes down the line. We rang off.

I chose my
clothes carefully that morning. Heller had told me that we were
going to meet a potential new client and I wanted to look my
professional best. I waited for him in the office and grew anxious
when he didn’t appear. We had to leave in ten minutes or we would
be late for the appointment. It was another well-paying assignment
and it wouldn’t be smart to keep the client waiting.

“Daniel, I
don’t know where Heller is. We have to meet a new client. Should I
go up and check on him?” We agreed to go together.

Daniel knocked
on his door. No answer. He tried again. We listened, but couldn’t
hear anything stirring. Daniel pounded on the door. We waited half
a minute, but still nothing. Daniel took out his swipe card and
opened Heller’s door. It was quiet and cool in his flat. We could
hear a strange noise coming from his bedroom and reluctantly walked
towards that door.

“You better go
in,” I suggested, in case Heller was doing something embarrassing.
Daniel opened the door and disappeared. He came back out again,
uncertainty on his face.

“I think he
might be sick. What do you think?”

I walked into
the room and saw Heller sprawled on his back across his bed, still
wearing his clothes from the previous night. He was dead to the
world, snoring like a champion, a miasma of alcohol fumes around
his head. I noticed he had several hickeys on his neck.

I looked up at
Daniel and said in astonishment, “He’s plastered!”

“No way!”

I grabbed his
shoulder and shook it roughly. “Heller! Wake up.” He half-opened
one eye, tried to focus, groaned loudly and rolled away from me
onto his side. I tried to shake him awake again, but it was no
good. He was a write-off.

“Daniel, take
off his shoes and jeans if you can. Try to get him to drink some
water and have some paracetamol and let him sleep it off. He’s
going to have a bitch of a hangover later. Let’s keep this to
ourselves too. I don’t think he’d appreciate anyone knowing. Now
I’m going to this appointment myself. I’m sure I’ll be okay.” I
patted him on the back and took off down the stairs. I met Sid
walking up the stairs and had a bright idea.

“Sid, Heller’s
a bit, er, busy at the moment and we’re supposed to be meeting a
new client. Would you mind coming with me? I’ll do all the
talking.”

Sid readily
agreed and we jumped in a fleet vehicle, noting that Heller’s 4WD
was parked at a very unusual angle.
He must have driven home
last night.
What an idiot!
I thought angrily.

After our
interview with the potential new client, I was gratified when the
assignment was offered to us. It was some ongoing surveillance at a
major building site that would provide a decent stream of income
for the next couple of years. It was fortunate that I had taken Sid
with me because he was able to answer some of the technical
questions that would have had me floundering. There’s only so much
a nice cleavage can do in the business world, let’s be honest. Sid
drove me home and we chatted about inconsequential things. He told
me a tiny bit about the surveillance side of Heller’s business,
which was fascinating. Back home, I returned to the office to ask
Daniel to organise the contractual paperwork to be couriered to our
new client for signing.

“How’s his
lordship?” I asked in a low voice. “Have you checked on him
recently?”

“Yeah, I
popped my head in about thirty minutes ago. Still snoring.” He
shook his head in bewilderment. “Tilly, I just cannot believe that
Heller could be drunk. It’s never happened the entire time I’ve
known him and that’s over ten years. He hardly ever even has
one
drink, let alone enough to become drunk. And I’ve never
known him to go out again so soon after just going out the other
night. Something must have happened recently to unsettle him. But I
can’t imagine what it could be though, because nothing unsettles
Heller. Nothing.”

I professed
ignorance, but was weighed down with secret guilt. It couldn’t be
my refusal to sleep with him, could it? That seemed so unlikely
that I couldn’t give it any credence. He had cared so little that I
had said no to him that he had gone out and found somebody else the
very next night. It couldn’t be that, I was sure.

I tried to
push it out of my head, but keep chewing over it all morning. I did
a little paperwork and flipped through information on some
potential new assignments coming up. Dixie had sent me a photo of
Mike the mechanic, fast asleep, lying spreadeagled on her tiny bed,
his impressive penis flaccid between his legs. I had a quick squiz
before deleting it. I checked Niq’s schoolwork and had a cup of
coffee with Daniel. We chatted about food, and he expressed an
interest in borrowing one of my new cookbooks and trying a simple
dish himself. I was giving him some recommendations for basic
starter dishes when Heller walked into the office. Daniel and I
exchanged loaded glances, not daring to speak to him.

He had
obviously bathed and shaved but looked rough, his skin pasty and
his eyes bloodshot. The cautious way he was moving suggested he had
a massive headache. He had made no attempt to cover his hickeys.
His eyes slid in our direction, but he didn’t say anything. He
walked to the fridge, took out a bottle of water and went into his
office.

Daniel pinched
my arm. “You go in,” he dared.

I pinched him
back harder. “You go.”

“I don’t think
so. I quite enjoy living! Anyway, you’re the sweet talker in the
family. Especially with him.”