Hell to Heaven (41 page)

The stone didn’t reply so I tapped it.

‘Hm?’

‘Read this scroll and pass the information on to the Academy. We have to start preparing the students—and the House on the Hill—now.’

‘Oh my. One has to wonder what you did to piss him off, Emma, really. This is just harassment.’

I grumbled quietly as I took out the white-ribboned scroll and rolled it open. ‘Shit!’

‘What now?’ Chang said, beginning to be amused by my theatrics.

‘I have to go to freaking
Hell
and answer to Judge Pao
this afternoon
on why I keep getting my Retainers killed.’

‘Do you want me to tell him to piss off?’ the stone said.

‘Can I?’ I said. ‘It’s none of his business.’

‘Not really,’ the stone said. ‘It’s worth a try but it could annoy him even more.’

‘It shouldn’t take long. Says here the boat’ll be ready for me at 3 pm; all I have to do is go down to the dock, go to Hell, talk to him, and probably be back well in time for dinner.’

‘I love this job more and more every day,’ Chang said with wonder. He checked his watch. ‘It’s two now, ma’am, which dock do you have to go to?’

‘Shum Wan,’ I said. ‘Where you go for the boats across to the floating restaurants.’

‘Really?’ he said, grinning broadly.

‘Yeah. Let me get changed. You’re fine like that—you can take me down in the new Merc and wait for me there.’

‘Ma’am…’ Chang’s face became intense. ‘Any chance…’

‘Sorry, no humans allowed,’ I said. ‘You go into Hell, you never come out again.’

‘But you’re human,’ he said.

‘That is where you are very mistaken, my friend,’ the stone said. ‘She has never been human; she’s always been a cold-hearted, evil demon snake.’

‘My stone knows me better than the one I am promised to marry,’ I said. ‘Give me ten minutes to make myself all pretty and we’ll go down to Shum Wan.’

I put on my traditional black robe with the armour over it, pulled my hair up into a bun held with the ebony spike, and slipped the Murasame onto my back. I even put on some make-up to seal the deal. This was one meeting where I didn’t want to mess around.

Chang’s eyes went wide when he saw me. ‘You look like a scarier version of the Entombed Warriors,’ he said.

I bowed slightly. ‘Thank you. Let’s go.’

‘I like this human,’ the stone said as we went out to the lift. ‘He really has you picked.’

‘Who is that talking anyway?’ Chang said.

‘My engagement ring.’

‘Oh.’ His face cleared as he understood. ‘I was warned about it.’

‘Good,’ the stone said.

‘I’ll need a Retainer,’ I said in the car. ‘Stone, find Michael. Have him meet me at Shum Wan.’

‘Michael’s in hospital, ma’am,’ Chang said.

That stopped me. ‘What?’

‘Dehydration and exposure,’ the stone said. ‘Frostbite as well, but he won’t lose any fingers or toes. He’ll be fine, he’s just resting.’

‘I should have been informed of this immediately.’

‘Please forgive me, my Lady,’ Chang said.

‘Why didn’t you tell me, Chang?’

Chang was silent.

‘In future, I must know immediately of any injuries sustained by my Retainers. Understood?’

I opened my mobile phone to call Michael.

Why didn’t he tell me? Why didn’t anyone tell me?
I asked the stone.

He was supposed to tell you
, the stone said.

Why didn’t he then?
I took a deep breath.
Okay, one mistake. I’ll let it pass.

He’s jealous, ma’am.

Any more of that and he’ll be back with Lok on garbage patrol, and you can tell him that silently. Make it a private warning.

I watched Chang’s face change as Michael answered his phone. ‘Hi, Emma.’

‘Are you okay?’

‘I’m fine. I want to leave but they won’t let me. I should be out tomorrow.’

‘This won’t slow down your getting rid of that limp, will it?’

‘Nah, hasn’t made any difference.’

‘What about Clarissa?’

‘She’s here.’

‘Does she believe you yet?’

He hesitated, then, ‘We’ll get there.’

‘I’m glad she cares enough to put up with this, Michael.’

‘We’re not there yet.’

C
hang stopped at the lay-by next to the Shum Wan piers. I hopped out, pulled the Murasame out of the back of the car, then leaned in to speak to him.

‘I need you to wait for me; I could be up to a couple of hours. I’ll need you right here when I return, so don’t go anywhere. The car’s too new to have the invisibility charm put on it—’

His face lit up.

‘Yes, we have invisibility charms, but there isn’t one on you right now.’ I pulled my head out of the car and looked around; no police nearby. I stuck my head back in to speak to him. ‘If the police show, pull away, go around the hill a few times, then come back. Just don’t go too far away, okay?’

He nodded. ‘Understood, ma’am. I will be here when you return.’

I closed the door, rapped on the roof, then clipped the sword to my back—and turned to find a group of elderly European tourists staring at me.

‘Excuse me,’ one woman said in a strong London accent. ‘Can you tell us which is the right jetty for the floating restaurant?’

‘Uh…’ I looked around. ‘Which one?’

‘Jumbo?’

I pointed. ‘The middle one.’

She nodded. ‘Thank you.’ She looked me up and down. ‘Are you going there?’

‘No, I’m going to a…’ I thought frantically. ‘A fancy dress party on a junk out in the harbour.’

‘Oh.’ She smiled politely. ‘Have fun then. Thank you.’

One of the men in the group piped up. ‘Where did you get that costume? My son would give anything for an Entombed Warrior costume. Can you buy them here?’

‘No,’ I said. ‘It was custom-made.’ The boat to Hell pulled into the unused pier. ‘There’s my ride, have fun at the floating restaurant.’

‘Is that a real sword?’ the man said.

‘No, just plastic,’ I said, and the Murasame jabbed me in the back with the end of the scabbard, making me jump.

‘Are you all right?’ the woman said, moving closer, concerned.

‘I’m just fine,’ I said. I gestured towards the pier. ‘There’s the Jumbo boat—you’d better hurry if you want to catch it.’

Most of them scurried off down the hill, leaving the curious man and woman behind.

‘What do you have on under the robe?’ the woman said.

I lifted the hem. ‘Just a pair of jeans.’

‘Are those Doc Martens?’ the man said.

I nodded. ‘Completely everything-proof. Only problem is that the air cushions in the soles wear out just when you have them worn in.’ I gestured with my head towards the pier. ‘Your boat’s about to leave.’

‘Oh!’ the woman said, and took his arm. ‘Let’s go.’

He let her pull him down the hill and waved to me. ‘Have fun at your party.’

I waved back. ‘Thanks. Have fun at the restaurant.’

I shook my head and walked down to the pier where the demons were tying up the boat to Hell.

An official was waiting for me on the roof of the administration building as I stepped out of the lift. His eyes went wide when he saw the way I was dressed, then he composed himself and gestured for me to follow him.

I raised my hand to make him wait a moment, closed my eyes, took a deep breath and told the Murasame to
shut the hell up.
The sword couldn’t speak aloud but inside my head it was screaming for blood. It really,
really
liked being in Hell and wanted something to cut up—
now.
Its demands didn’t help my control over my demon nature, which wanted me to transform and rush to the Pits to share in a feeding frenzy. The voices roared around me, spiralling me into darkness. I took another deep breath, touched the serpent within me, drew upon my yang nature and silenced them. I opened my eyes again, saluted the official and turned to follow him down the stairs to Court Ten.

‘Are you well, ma’am?’ he said.

‘I am well. My Retainer has been injured and cannot attend me; please inform the Court that I will attend alone.’

‘That’s the reason you’re here, ma’am.’

‘Humph.’

We went down the stairs and along the path that skirted the lake that separated the Celestial and
Demonic parts of Hell. Court Ten was first on the left, at the end of one of the causeways that led to the Pits on the other side of the lake. I strode up to it, trying to appear as confident as possible, with the official scurrying behind me.

The Court building was a traditional Chinese two-storey house, with pillars and brackets holding up the green tiled roof and a balcony on the second level. Two demons stood guard at the entrance, one on either side. They opened the doors as I approached, and I took a deep breath and walked into the hall.

The entrance was deserted. A pair of red double doors stood in front of me, again flanked by a pair of demons. They bowed to me and opened the doors.

I took long, confident steps into the courtroom, stopped in the middle of the room, fell to one knee and saluted as a warrior. ‘I am Lady Emma Donahoe, Acting First Heavenly General, Regent of the Northern Heavens, Administrator of Wudangshan. I have been summoned.’

I remained on one knee with my head bowed as Judge Pao replied. He wore a traditional plain black robe and his dark-skinned face was fierce.

‘You have been summoned here, madam, to answer to the Courts as to the reckless endangerment of your army, Retainers and servants. These Shen,’ he gestured towards the benches at the side of the room, where Gold, Jade, Zara and Calcite sat together with the Tiger and Leo, ‘have all died multiple times recently in your service. The Lord Leo was only a day back on the Earthly before he was killed again—following you.’

I rose to reply but Gold got there first. ‘If I may, my Lord,’ he said, standing. ‘I represent the Lady Emma in legal matters.’

‘You are dead!’ Judge Pao said.

Gold raised his hands. ‘I may be dead, my Lord, but I can still speak on my Lady’s behalf.’

Judge Pao had a whispered discussion with an official behind him, then waved Gold forward. ‘You may speak.’

Gold bowed to me. ‘My Lady. Permission to speak on your behalf.’

Stone, quick. If I let him speak on my behalf does that weaken my image and make me look like a helpless woman?

Only if you act like a helpless woman
, the stone said.
It’s all up to the amount of bravado you throw around here.

Testosterone ahoy!

I stomped backwards and forwards a few times, head down, then waved one hand airily at Gold without looking at him. ‘You may speak on my behalf, despite the fact that you spoke out of turn. Speak well, stone, because I do not have time to be wasting with this.’

Oh, well done, ma’am
, Gold said with admiration.

I stood with my hands on my hips and glared around the courtroom. I desperately wanted to wink at Leo, who was staring at me.

Gold stepped forward to stand next to me and put his hands behind his back. ‘Lady Emma is one of the Celestial’s finest, but when people go to their deaths she does not lead them there.’

‘If she’s not leading then her role is undermined and she should step down,’ Judge Pao said.

‘Jade Building Block,’ Gold said.

‘Present,’ the stone said.

‘Master Leo and myself, Calcite and Zara have died twice in the last week following Lady Emma. The White Tiger of the West has died once. Is this true?’

‘This is true.’

There was a murmur of consternation around the court.

‘Did she order us to die for her?’

‘No,’ the stone said. ‘Unlike many Celestials, she will not throw Immortals to their deaths.’

‘No, that can’t be true,’ Gold said, feigning disbelief. ‘We’re Immortal, death means nothing to us, our Master is within his…or her…’ He bowed to me, acknowledging the difference, and I nodded back, trying to keep my expression stern. ‘…his or her rights to order us to our deaths. They all do it. It is only when we are ordered to our deaths with little forethought for our comfort and needs, or too many times in a short period, that there is a problem.’

‘That is the problem here,’ Judge Pao said.

‘The problem then, as I see it, is that we have been ordered to our deaths too many times in too short a time by Lady Emma.’

‘That is the case being heard here,’ Judge Pao said. ‘You are proving the case against her, stone.’

‘Jade Building Block, how many times has Lady Emma ordered an Immortal—any Immortal—to their death?’

‘Never,’ the stone said.

‘Not once?’

‘I am checking my memory matrix now. I am correct. Lady Emma Donahoe, the Dark Lady, has never ordered a Shen to die.’

‘But we die anyway,’ Gold said. ‘I’ve died twice in the last few days.’

‘You die following her. She does not lead you. It is your choice,’ the stone said.

Your turn
, Gold said.

I stepped forward and glared at Judge Pao. ‘You accuse me of leading my Shen to their deaths too many times.’ I turned and gestured towards the Immortals sitting to one side. ‘I never lead anyone to their death; they follow me by choice themselves. Your case has no valid basis.’ I fell to one knee and saluted. ‘By your leave, I will withdraw. There are demons out there who are duplicating elementals and humans; they must be stopped, and I will be the one to stop them.’ I rose. ‘My staff, my soldiers and my Retainers will follow me to fight; and if they follow me to fight and die it is their choice.’

I didn’t wait for a reply, I just spun on my heel and walked out of the courtroom.

‘What of those who are not Immortal and follow you to their deaths?’ Judge Pao shouted behind me.

That stopped me for a moment, then I took a deep breath and continued walking.

Are you sure he’s not possessing you right now?
the stone said.

Oh no, he’d have been much less arrogant. He’s way better at being soft and kind and getting his own way by scaring the shit out of everybody with just a look.

I think you just did exactly the same thing, ma’am.