Hell on Wheels (Four Horsemen MC Book 6) (23 page)

He saved up mental images of her, torturing himself with visions of her splayed open for him, his for the taking. And right now, he wanted to touch himself. Just the thought of her caused his cock to jerk.

With a groan, he wrapped a hand around his cock. He wouldn’t analyze it right now. His dick wanted what it wanted, and it didn’t matter if he got his release thinking about Charlie. She’d never know. He stroked the head with his thumb, teasing himself.

Fuck, he was hard, standing up against his abdomen. The flesh was dark at the tip, engorged with blood, and a little pebble of pre-come pearled at the end. He pictured Charlie on her knees in front of him, her mouth open, ready for his cock. He’d give her a taste at first, let her lick the head. And when she opened her mouth for more, he’d give it to her. Oh, he’d give her everything.

Charlie brought out some primitive caveman tendencies in him. He wanted to spank her, fuck her hard from behind.

 No, that wasn’;t it. Not the first time. He wanted to see her face when he took her.

Axel stopped touching, letting his cock twitch as he imagined Charlie spread out on his bed, her thighs apart, her pussy lips flushed and glistening for him. He wanted to be inside her so bad, he physically ached. He wanted to see how much of his cock she could take.

Axel grabbed himself, stroking harder. A little rough. It didn’t long.

“Charlie!” he shouted, spattering his chest with come. With a moan, he moved the shower head, letting it sluice the evidence away, down the drain. Out of sight, but not out of mind. He felt better and the tension had eased, for the moment. But he wanted the real thing.

“Oh, Charlie,” he murmured. “What am I going to do about you?”

Chapter Fifteen

Axel was proud of himself. He’d made it to the garage by five in the morning, which was a record considering his crazy schedule lately. He’d fixed Nancy’s car and even had time to make a pot of coffee before she came to pick up her vehicle at seven. Axel could see her from the window as Nancy was dropped off in the front of the building.

He could hear the click of Nancy’s heels on the concrete outside. Dani hadn’t arrived for work yet, and he didn’t want to be alone with his ex. She made him tense. She’d been over-friendly and something was up. They hadn’t talked in years and suddenly she’d shown up at the shop, asking him to do an oil change and a tune-up. Then awkwardly inviting him to lunch.

It didn’t make sense.

She walked in the door, swaying her hips, and he mentally braced himself. “Good morning, Rob.”

Nancy had never known him as Axel. “Hey, Nancy.”

If it was possible, she was wearing an even more provocative outfit today, another pair of tight jeans, heels, and a black, lacy see-through top over a red bra. Axel didn’t pay much attention to scantily clad women. Perdition was filled with them, but it messed with his head when his ex-girlfriend showed up at his place of business in something revealing.

He hadn’t been lying to Charlie.

Their romance was long done and the fact that she was married to another man was a deal-breaker, even if he
had
been interested. Axel believed in the institution and he’d never touched a married woman before. He wouldn’t start now.

“So, what’s the damage?” she asked.

Axel blinked. Oh, Nancy meant the car. He grabbed the bill from the stack by the cash register. “One hundred and fifty for the tune-up and the oil change,” he said, handing it to her.

She leaned over the counter as she examined the paper in her hands. So he could see down her blouse? Axel cleared his throat and turned away. He grabbed her keys from the pegboard along the wall. Then he slid them across the counter to her, so he could avoid an accidental touch.

The sooner she got out of there, the better he’d feel. Axel had been holding on to his past, to this stupid dream for too long. Having Nancy suddenly try to be part of his life made him suddenly realize that.

“Why are you so jumpy?” she asked.

“No reason. It’s gonna be a long day.” Axel grabbed his coffee cup from the desk and took a sip, even though it’d cooled. He didn’t offer any to Nancy.  It would invite her to stay longer. “How will you be paying? Check? Cash? Credit card?” Hell, at that point, he was willing to eat the cost of the repairs, just to be rid of her.

“I don’t think that’s the reason you’re so jumpy.” She rounded the desk and sidled up to him.

Dammit.

Nancy placed a hand on his chest and he stared down at it. “You don’t have to pretend with me, Rob. I know.”

Axel stepped back. “
What
do you know exactly?”

She closed the distance between them. “That you’ve been watching me, thinking about me. I’ve seen you in front of my house.” Again, her hand rested on his chest, fingertips sliding between the buttons, so she touched his bare skin.

Axel barely kept himself from cringing.  
Damn, this was awkward as ass.
His heartbeat sped up, thundering in his chest. He didn’t know how to handle this. He’d been caught doing something that looked downright perverse, or at the very least suspicious. Axel didn’t want to hurt her feelings, but there seemed to be no graceful way out of this situation for either of them.

Axel put a couple feet between them. “I’m sorry. It isn’t what you think.”

Nancy chuckled in a low, knowing tone. “It isn’t?”

His expression hardened. “Yeah.”

“You don’t have to lie to me. It’s okay, Rob.” Nancy approached him again and reached for his belt buckle, but he captured her fingers.

“No, it’s not okay.” Then he stepped back from her, releasing his hand. “I appreciate the offer.  You’re an attractive woman…but I can’t. You’re married.”

Her chin trembled and her eyes appeared overly bright. For a moment, Axel feared she might cry. “But I thought…”

“I know,” he said. “And that’s my fault. I should’ve left you the fuck alone. I’ll never stop by your house again.” And he wouldn’t.

Tears formed in her eyes. “Lately…things have been off. It’s not a real marriage. I’m a work widow, Rob. My husband stays in Dallas during the weekdays, every damn week. We barely talk. Hell, we hardly know each other anymore.”

Fuck, he didn’t have a clue what to say. Axel was truly sorry she was having marital problems, but he’d only make it worse. He’d been coveting a “perfect life” that didn’t exist. It only seemed wonderful from the outside looking in.

 “I’m sorry to hear that.”

Her eyes flashed. “So why the hell have you been watching me?”

He ran a hand through his hair and dropped his gaze. “I shouldn’t have done that.”

“Yeah, but
why
were you doing it?” she asked.

Damn, he didn’t want to talk about it. Not with her, but she needed an explanation. “I wondered what might’ve been.”

“See? You still have feelings. You still want me.”

“No, it wasn’t about you. I’ve been wondering what my life would be like if I’d married you and gone to college instead of joining the club. The old me, I mean.”

Nancy placed her hands on her hips. “I wonder about that, too. Maybe I shouldn’t have broken up with you.”

There’d been a time, long ago, when those words would’ve been a comfort to him. When he’d wanted to hear them more than anything, back when he’d been nursing the pain of a broken heart.

Now, it made him sad. For her. For himself.

Axel realized he’d been romanticizing the past, holding on to a past version of himself. Rob was long gone. Long live Axel. “I’m sorry your marriage isn’t working out. But who’s to say ours would’ve been any better?”

Nancy winced then wrapped her arms around her midriff. “I feel like a jerk. Sorry for coming in here dressed like a—”

“You look beautiful,” he cut her off before she said something critical. “I’m saying that as a platonic friend.” He smirked. “And I owe you an apology. Sorry for the stalking.”

Nancy laughed, but it had a bitter edge. “Don’t be. It’s the most excitement I’ve had in years, thinking my old flame still burned for me.”

“What are you gonna do?” Despite everything, he wanted Nancy to be happy.

She rocked back on her heels. “Counseling? A divorce? No clue. But I need to do something. Showing up here trying to start an affair with you is a billboard saying something’s seriously wrong.” She dug into her purse and pulled out a credit card. “So, ring me up and I’ll take off. Then we’ll forget this ever happened. And we’ll see each other…never. Deal?”

“Deal.” He rang her up and handed her the card, along with a copy of the bill, after he ripped off the canary colored receipt beneath it for his records.

Nancy grabbed her keys from the counter. “Bye…Axel,” she said. There was something lost and lonesome on her face.

“Bye, Nancy.” Axel took her signed receipt and placed it in the till.

Axel watched her walk out the door and out of his life for the second time. Only this now, he had some closure. And he wasn’t sorry to see her go.

But he was left with a conundrum. He’d been pining for something that didn’t exist. A perfect marriage with a perfect woman, a happy suburban life.

Could he allow ever himself to have who he really wanted?  Charlie.

***

After he finished both his Seventh Circle and club work, Axel knocked on his mother’s front door. “Hey, Mom? It’s me,” he called.

It felt strange to knock first. Eddie had an open door policy with him and Ryker, but since Captain had moved in, Axel thought he should at least sound the alarm before he walked in. God forbid he catch Cap in his drawers or worse yet…an intimate moment.

Talk about bein’ scarred for life.

While he might live in an apartment, Eddie’s house was the only
home
he’d ever known.

The door swung open and Eddie stood there in a green plaid robe and a pair of slippers. “Hey, kid. What brings you over so late?” She smiled. “Late from your perspective, anyway.”

Fuck. He hadn’t been paying attention to the time. It was nearly midnight. “I’m sorry to bother—”

“Let’s get somethin’ straight, honey, you’re never a bother. And you know I’m a night owl, but you’re usually in bed by nine. What’s goin’ on?”

Axel hesitated. “Can we talk?”

“Sure, but we have to be real quiet, Captain’s already in bed. Have a seat at the kitchen table with me.” She padded from the foyer into the kitchen then tapped the back of the chair. “I’m cutting up some potatoes for tomorrow night’s dinner.”

There was a scarred wooden cutting board and a mesh bag full of potatoes on the table, along with a paring knife and a plastic bowl full of water.

Automatically, he went to the drawer and pulled out another knife, along with a smaller plastic cutting board. Eddie liked to do all her kitchen prep before she cooked. They’d spent many nights at this table cutting up vegetables when he was growing up. They’d had many long conversations, too.  Focusing on another task made it easier to talk.

Eddie was more than his mother.  During his teenage years, she’d become his friend and confidante. Because his father had been out of the picture, he’d turned to her with questions about girls. And now that he found himself in a conundrum, it was only natural he’d seek her council again. While he loved Ryker, they didn’t trade confidences.

“Come on, out with it. I think I hear the gears whirring in your head.” She peeled her potato’s skin off in one long strip.

“Nancy came by the shop this morning.” Axel hadn’t meant to blurt it out, but there it was. He scraped his own spud as he waited for her reply.

Eddie groaned. “Damn, that woman has the worst timin’. She always waits until you’re right at a crossroads then slams you down.”

“Crossroads?” he asked.

“I heard about the panties, son. After all, it’s my bar and you know the brothers love to talk. What’d Nancy do now?”

“I know you don’t like her.”

“That’s an understatement. When someone hurts your child, you hate them for life.” She sighed. “I’m the one who watched you go through hell for weeks. And the pain of a broken heart it unbearable.”

He cut the potato into pieces and dropped the wedges into a clean bowl beside her. “Yeah, I remember that feeling.” If he pursued Charlie, was he setting himself up for the same kind of pain? “But I’m not a child. Far from it.”

She bumped arms with him. “You’re my child. Always will be, even when you’re old and walk with a cane and I’m in a wheelchair with adult diapers. Even then, you’ll still be my baby.”

Axel laughed. “Fair enough.” Eddie had developed an overprotective streak after Joker had gone to jail, and it’d never gone away. It’d been Ryker, Eddie and Axel against the world.

“You’ll understand when you have kids someday.”

Axel doubted he’d ever have children, but that was beside the point. And he hated to add any more fuel to the
I hate Nancy
bonfire his mother had stoked. Axel knew she’d blame his childlessness on Nancy, too. “Anyway, she stopped by the shop and propositioned me.”

This time, Eddie tossed her knife down and gaped at him. “She did what?”

“Nancy came on to me.” He wanted to move on to the next important point, but the news had to sink in first.

“So, she wants you to be her maintenance man.”

“Yeah, I think that was the gist of it.” Most men would be flattered by that kind of offer, but he’d always felt like a second-class citizen in Hell.

The townies whispered about the Horsemen, speculating as to what kind of evil deeds they were into. He’d had more than a few girls in high school treat him like a bad boy they wanted to screw and forget.  But he’d always resisted the label. In his book, it was more flattering when a woman actually wanted to date him. Be seen him with him in daylight hours. He never wanted to be anyone dirty little secret.

“And you told her no, right? You told her to fuck off and never contact you?”

“I said it in a nice way.” Axel omitted the stalker portion of the story. There were some details he wouldn’t be sharing with Eddie.  

She clasped his hand and he stopped peeling for a second. “Are you okay?”