Hell Inc. (12 page)

“How
old are you?” I asked. Terrence looked surprised at the change
in topic. “Because you look awfully young to be ... well,
whatever it was that you were.” Terrence laughed at that and
smiled fondly, as if remembering something that amused him. “I
guess you could say that I've always been a bit of a know it all.”
He looked at me pointedly. “How old are you, Ginger Malloy
because I'm starting to worry that maybe I'm too old for you.”
I blushed. I couldn't help it but really, I never blush.

“You
first.” I crossed my arms. “Besides, you know it's rude
to ask a lady her age.” I smiled to let him know it was a joke.
And frankly, I didn't care how old he was. I was interested and
just about ready to make that promise he wanted, as soon as I knew
what it was.

“I'm
twenty-seven,” he replied, cringing slightly. “Please
tell me that's not too old.” I grinned at him.

“Too
old for what?” I asked. I knew I was flirting, but I couldn't
help myself. Terrence didn't seem to mind. In fact, I sort of
assumed he was flirting back. Cynthia muttered something under her
breath, but I ignored her. The rest of the staff might as well have
been invisible for all the commotion they weren't causing.

“Promise
me you won't use your other wishes until we figure this thing out?”
I blinked slowly for a moment and then bit the side of my lip.

“Well,
I already kind of used one before. But I can promise not to use my
third one, at least temporarily. And at least not on purpose.”
I cringed at the thought of making the same mistake a
third
time.
Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me;
fool me a freaking third time, God please, I hope not.
Terrence
nodded as if that half-assed statement had been satisfactory.

“So,”
he gave his staff a once over as he spoke. “How old are you,
Ginger?” I smoothed my skirt down and adjusted my blouse. The
sphinx trotted back in and shook itself, like a wet dog might to rid
itself of excess water. At least I didn't have to worry about Levie
for awhile. Maybe Terrence and I could move to another table, maybe
we could eat together, just me and him ... My mind spun with
naughty possibilities about after lunch activities.

“What
is even worse to the people of a starving village than a collapsed
granary?” I ignored the sphinx and kept my attention on
Terrence.

“I'm
twenty. Too young for you?” Terrence shook his head.

“No,”
he said. “That sounds about right.”

“About
right for what?” I asked flirtatiously.

“Ginger,
would you like to go out with me tomorrow?” He leaned his elbow
on the table and rested his chin on his hand, head cocked to one
side. “On a date, but we could still try and brainstorm a way
for you to help all of these people.” He tapped the newspaper
with a finger. I sort of figured that would be the last thing on my
mind if I was to go on a date with him, but I nodded.

“Sounds
good, what time do you want to meet?” Terrence nodded at the
other staff. As a group, they stood up together and made their way
to the door. It was weird, to be sure, and maybe someone more
perceptive could have gotten something out of it, but all I could do
was take a small mental note. Terrence made me feel intoxicated with
his presence, and it only seemed to get worse by the second.

“I
can pick you up?” he asked casually as I gave his coworkers
another confused glance. I nodded and wrote my address down on a
napkin, smiling as Cynthia fumed in silence. “I hope you don't
mind,” Terrence said, pocketing the napkin. “But we've
got some business to attend to.” He scooted his chair out, and
I nodded again, slightly disappointed. On his way out, Terrence
leaned down and gave me a light kiss on the cheek.

“I
left my credit card number with the manager, feel free to order
something. Take care until tomorrow,” was all he said as he
left with the rest of the museum staff and a horribly angry Cynthia.

It
was approximately an hour and a half, a huge plate of fries, and some
beers later that I remembered Levie. Certain that I was going to pay
for forgetting him for such an extended period of time, I grabbed my
coat and hustled the sphinx out from under the table. I ran
headfirst into his chest on the way out of the restaurant.

“I
explicitly recall asking for you to check in with me.” I
grabbed Levie by the arm and pulled him into the alley next to the
restaurant before anyone had a chance to see me talking to him on the
sidewalk.

“And
I explicitly remember asking you not to come over here.” Levie
didn't look sorry, and I figured it would be a moot point to try and
argue. “Did you see today's paper?” I asked him, reaching
inside my coat pocket for the folded up newspaper.

“I
have neither the reason nor the desire to read up on human events.”
I rolled my eyes and handed him the piece. He read it quickly and
handed it back to me. “What reason do I have to care about
this? It is your problem, is it not?”

“But
you're my caseworker,” I shouted and cringed at the sound of my
words echoing down the alleyway. I lowered my voice and said,
“Doesn't that sort of make it your problem, too?” Levie's
face was blank, and he didn't look as if he were about to speak.
“Well?”

“You've
broken no rules as far as our contract goes.” Levie wrinkled
his nose and cast a disparaging look at one of the dumpsters. “May
we leave this place now? This sort of environment is far inferior to
what I'm accustomed to. Much like your apartment.” I ignored
the barb and peered around the corner to make sure no one from the
brewery was coming over here on a break.

“You
can go,” I said. “The coast is clear.” Levie just
stood there and stared at me.

“And
where am I supposed to be going?” He asked, stretching his
wings wide, yet still being careful not to touch anything.

“I
don't know: home, the cafe, wherever. I'm going to my yoga class. I usually go on Wednesday's but that whole lunch date,”
I crinkled my nose.
You mean lunch/attempted murder date.
“Screwed up my week. It clears my head, and I could really
use some clarity right about now. I think I'm about to have a
coronary.” Levie stayed where he was and glared at me. “I
don't have time for this. The teacher locks the door, and you can't
get in if you're late. Now, move.”

“Why
don't you just wish for a fortune and be done with this substandard
place? That is what most humans wish for.” Of course I had
thought about that, I really had. But now ... I was sort of
thinking that I was going to have to use this last wish to get out of
the mess that I'd put myself in. It was far too dangerous for so
many people to be focusing on supernaturals. I knew from hard won
experience the sorts of things they could do if provoked.

“If
I didn't know any better,” I replied. “Then I would think
you were just trying to get me to use my last wish so you could leave
and go back to Hell.” Levie shrugged.

“And
that would surprise you?” It shouldn't have. It was obvious he
was unhappy here and even more obvious that he didn't like me.
However, I still couldn't get that kiss out of my mind. Yeah, it had
been more of an insult than anything else but still ... guys
don't just kiss girls they hate for no reason. Right?

“Yeah,
Levie,” I said. “It would. And you know what else would
surprise me? Hmm? If you weren't at all curious about the fact that
Terrence and I are going on a date tomorrow.” I spun around
smartly and marched out of the alley, feeling like I'd come out of
this conversation on top.

What
I didn't see was Levie lighting the dumpster and all of the nearby
rats on fire. However, the later consequences of said actions were
quite obvious. I wasn't sure I was going to be able to breathe
through my nose correctly for several months. He'd left me alone
which was nice, but the headache I had from the wail of fire engines
and the stench of burnt trash sort of negated any beneficial effects
that I might've had from the class. I'd just wasted ten bucks and an
hour of time listening to Kundalini yoga music.

As
soon as I got out of the studio, I was looking to pick a fight with
Levie.
He owes me ten dollars and an iTunes gift card,
I
thought as I stormed down the dark sidewalk, hardly noticing the
shadows that moved at my back. It wasn't until a knife tip was
pressed firmly into my spine that I realized something was wrong. I
stopped walking, the bag of clothes I'd fetched from my truck before
class swinging back and forth on my shoulder like a pendulum. Mom
was good with a knife. It was kind of scary; she had put enough
pressure on the blade to hurt but not enough to pierce.

“Hello
there, darling,” a voice whispered in my ear. “Mommy
missed you, and she's sorry for what she did earlier.” Crap.

“Mom,”
I said as nicely as I could manage, given the situation. “What
are you doing here?” The knife ground further into my back
causing me to let out a yelp.

“Mommy's
making sure you aren't trying to leave her for anyone else. You know
that no one loves you as much as I do, sweetheart.” Her voice
then took on a much more menacing tone. “No one.” Strong
hands, too strong to be hers, grasped me by the throat and dragged me
against a very large, very
hairy
chest. The person (or
whatever it was) grabbing me had been careless and had caused the
knife to cut a large gash along my back. The pain was sharp and
immediate, and the heat of spilled blood traveled up and down my
spine as it seeped into the fabric of my shirt.

I
tried to scream but was cut off by my mother, the woman who had given
birth
to me, stuffing a dirty rag down my throat. Great.
Just great. You'd think I would have stopped being surprised by now.
Not me, not Ginger.
People never really change, do they?
I
realized as she stroked my cheeks with her plastic nails. This was
the last straw. After I got out of this, I was cutting her off
completely. Period. Briefly, I wondered where Levie and the sphinx
were. They had to be around here somewhere, didn't they? Levie had
said he would protect me from this stupid wish. And the black van
that was rolling up to the curb kind of raised a red flag in my mind.
This was definitely a situation where it would've been nice to have
a fire demon on my side.

The
van door slid open and inside was a group of ... cows?

What
the hell,
I wondered as I watched beady eyes and furry faces
stare back at me. No, not cows I realized as I found muscular
chests, beefy arms, and booted feet. Minotaurs. Now there was a new
one. I was going to have to start keeping a list. You know, like
bingo.
A talking sphinx, check; a cute but totally rude demon,
check; a mentally disturbed mother, double check; cow headed weight
lifters on steroids, check; and – .
I froze, a wave of
anxiety rolling over me as something else leapt from the vehicle.
And vampires, check. Bingo.
Damn. And double damn.

Even
after the craze of vampire love and the slew of T-shirts that said,
“Fangs are the new Gucci,” they still freaked me out.
Pale people with weird teeth. That's what most people saw. I saw
corpses with black eyes, bad accents, and an incurable need to wear
lots and lots of cologne. Maybe it was to mask the smell of death?
Maybe not. All I knew was that I hated vampires.
Why is mom
hanging with cows and leeches?
I wondered as I saw her smile.
Maybe she didn't know what they were. Maybe, like with Levie, all
she saw were cute boys with nice abs and pretty skin. I'm talking
about the vampires of course. As for the Minotaurs ... maybe
they just looked like Mr. Olympia contestants. Either way, things
did not look good for me. Mom wasn't just involved with drug
addicts. Mom was involved with vampire/Minotaur drug addicts. And
believe me, that was much, much worse.

The
man behind me (who was, I decided, actually furry rather than hairy)
shoved me forward into the emaciated, bony chest of the vampire. I
glanced up and cringed. This vampire was pretty unfortunate looking,
as far as vampires go, and was leering down at me with an expression
that made me ill. “Now, watch yourself there, Andrew, you don't
want to go touching that one.” A deep voice rumbled from the
driver's seat.

“Why
not?” Andrew whined and if I'd been able to, I would have
punched him in the face. He had the pinched face of a rat and
teeny-weeny eyes that he forgot to blink. He looked like a bank
robber from the 1920's. In short, he was creepy as fuck.

“Because
she belongs to me,” Andrea snapped, glaring at Andrew and
climbing into the backseat of the van next to a white and black
spotted Minotaur. Andrew frowned and sniffed the air. He let go of
one of my arms and looked at the red staining his hand.