Heaven Cent (4 page)

“An island that's a skeleton?”

“I understand that some islands are fashioned magically by the skeletons of creatures of the sea called corals.”

“Like the Brain Coral? I don't think—”

“Other kinds of corals. They aren't smart, they merely form reefs or islands. Such an island might be termed a—”

“A skeleton key!” Dolph exclaimed, catching on.

“So perhaps we have merely to look on such a key to find the Heaven Cent.”

“Great! Let's go there!”

“Unfortunately—”

Dolph waited. The skeleton's inability to formulate a complete thought in one effort might be because his head was hollow. Dolph was discovering that a certain tolerance made things easier.

“—there are a number of such skeletal keys off the coasts of Xanth,” Marrow concluded. “We may have trouble ascertaining which one is correct.”

Dolph considered. “Well, the message reads from west to east, so if I kept on reading east, that must be where the Heaven Cent is.”

“I am not certain that makes sense.”

“It makes Heaven Cents!” Dolph said. “What key is east of here?”

“Well, in very general way, there is the Isle of Illusion—”

“Then we'll go there!” Dolph exclaimed.

“But we don't even know that the message is for us!” Marrow protested. “The Heaven Cent may relate to something entirely different!”

“Non-cents,” Dolph said. “The Good Magician Humfrey always knew exactly what he was doing.” Though he wondered as he spoke how Humfrey could have been caught unawares by the holy smoke, if that were the case.

“But such an obscure message, so well hidden—”

“He did that so that only the right person could find it or understand it,” Dolph said confidently. “I am obviously that person. Tomorrow we'll go to the Isle of Illusion. Oh, my mother will have a fit!”

“She certainly will,” Marrow agreed with resignation. It was evident that the skeleton, like Queen Irene, had not anticipated this development. That delighted Dolph; now at last he could make the Quest his own, forging into uncharted territory. Sheer adventure!

In the morning they set out for the Isle of Illusion. Dolph had planned to fly there, but when he became the roc he discovered that his wing muscles were quite sore from the prior day's exertion. He wasn't a real roc, and lacked the stamina of practice; also, his flight was relatively clumsy. If he worked at it he knew he could get better, but it wasn't worth it; it was easier to walk for a while.

They followed the enchanted path north and then east when they came to an intersection. This was the path that Esk and Chex had used; he had seen them in the Magic Tapestry. Esk had seemed like a great guy, with his quarter-ogre ancestry. Then he got involved with that brass girl Bria and turned all mushy. Dolph knew that he would never get mushy about any stupid girl; he knew what they were like. Like his arrogant big sister! No boy in his right mind would have anything to do with any girl like that! Just because Irene bossed Dor around unmercifully, Ivy figured she had a duty to boss Dolph around. No, as far as he was concerned, the only good girl was one who was far away.

“You knew Esk,” Dolph said after a bit. “Why did he stop adventuring and take up with that creature from the gourd?”

“I was part of his adventure,” Marrow said somewhat stiffly. “I see no call to disparage my origin.”

“I didn't mean you, bonehead! I meant Bria Brassy.”

“We are both creatures of the gourd,” Marrow said, unmollified. It was not easy to hurt the feelings of someone as hardheaded as a walking skeleton, but evidently Dolph had managed it. He realized that he had been undiplomatic. Marrow was basically a good guy, and there was no reason to get him upset.

Dolph pondered, and finally came to a very awkward conclusion: he would have to apologize. That was one of the stupid things adults did, and Marrow was an adult. Sometimes it was necessary to cater to the foibles of adults, no matter how pointless it seemed.

“Marrow, I'm sorry if I insulted you,” Dolph said. “I know you're from the gourd, and you're okay. I meant to say that the brassy girl was the dumb one, and Esk was dumb for taking up with her. She probably bosses him around as bad as Ivy does me.”

The hollow eye sockets of the skull turned to glance at him. “You are sensitive to being told what to do?”

“Well sure! Nobody likes having dumb girls boss him around all the time!”

“Then I think I misunderstood the thrust of your remark,” Marrow said. “I may have taken offense erroneously, and I apologize to you for that.”

“Hey, you can't apologize to me! I was apologizing to you!”

“Sometimes it is possible to exchange apologies. But let me explain something about the gourd, and about women. There are many creatures of the gourd, and they are unlike the creatures of regular Xanth because they are animated by magic, but they do have duties and feelings too. It is not fair to dismiss them merely because they reside in a world that is unlike yours.”

“Yeah, I guess so,” Dolph said contritely.

“Similarly, women are in certain respects like another species, and men can have difficulty understanding them. But they too have duties and feelings, and should not be lightly dismissed. Bria Brassy is a fine woman, and an excellent match for Esk Ogre, and he is a better man because he recognized that.”

“But that mush stuff—ugh! I saw him in the Tapestry, kissing her.”

“In time you will understand why adults derive pleasure from such activity.”

“Never!” Dolph swore.

Marrow did not reply, but he seemed to be smiling.

“Would you kiss a girl?” Dolph asked challengingly.

“I fear a living girl would not appreciate such a gesture on my part.”

“Well, a bone girl, then?”

“Oh, yes, if she liked me, though we of the skeletal persuasion have other ways to interact. However, that is academic, as I am the only one of my kind out here in the outer realm.”

Dolph realized that Marrow, though he was an interesting fellow, was nevertheless still an adult, with those peculiar adult attitudes. He refused to condemn mushy stuff. It was a good thing there were no female skeletons here!

After a time, Dolph got tired of walking. But he realized that he would be just as tired in animal form too. He had been able to fly before because only his legs had been tired, but now his arms were sore. This was an aspect of adventuring he hadn't thought about, when he watched the Tapestry.

“Perhaps—” Marrow started.

“Yeah, maybe it's time to rest,” Dolph agreed.

“—I could carry you. I do not tire, and if you were to assume a small form—”

“Great!” Dolph became a dormouse. Marrow put down his hand, and Dolph scrambled up to his bony shoulder. Marrow bent to pick up Dolph's pack of belongings. It was much better traveling this way; now he could rest while still making progress toward the Isle of Illusion.

In due course the enchanted path petered out. It seemed that very few folk cared to travel this far. Progress slowed, because although Marrow's bones were tireless, it was slower to forge through the encroaching wilderness than along a cleared path. Now they had to weave around the more dangerous plants, such as tangle trees, and to watch out for dragons’ lairs. Dolph wasn't really afraid of such things, because he knew he could transform into something to fight off any obnoxious plant or animal. But it was better to stay out of trouble and save his magic for true emergencies.

They came to a river. Marrow merely started to forge through it, but then he hesitated. “Something is gnawing at my leg bones,” he said. Sure enough, there were dogfish under the surface, and more coming. Marrow quickly retreated to the shore. He did not suffer pain, but it would have been inconvenient for him to lose a leg bone, and the slowness of his motion in deep water would give the fish plenty of time to work at it. Dogfish liked to carry away their bones and bury them in deep muck.

Back on shore, Dolph assumed boy form. “I'll become the roc and carry you across,” he said. “My flying muscles are stiff, but I can do that much.”

“The flying room is limited,” Marrow pointed out. "You would have trouble both taking off and landing, because the trees come right up to the edge of the water.”

All too true. “I could become a big fish—”

“I fear the pack of dogfish would attack you. No, I think I shall have to facilitate my own crossing. Kick me, and I shall become a bone line that anchors to a branch on the far side. Then you may fly across in small bird form and haul me in from that side.”

That seemed sensible to Dolph. He became the ogre, and delivered a tremendous kick to the skeleton's hipbone. Marrow flew apart, and reformed as a string of bones that extended across the river. One bone hand at the end caught and grasped the branch of a tree, while the other caught the projecting root of a tree on the near side.

Dolph, about to change to bird form, remembered his sore wing muscles. It didn't matter what size bird he was; those same muscles would hurt. He looked at the bone line, and had a notion. He could cross on that!

He became the dormouse and scrambled up along the line of bones. He was surefooted in this form, and had no fear of falling. If he did fall, he would simply change to bird form and fly; better a sore muscle than a dunking in the river!

“I suspect—” the skull in the center began as he approached it.

“I'll be across in a moment,” Dolph replied. Because he was in mouse form, this emerged as a series of squeaks that the skeleton probably couldn't understand. All human languages were the same in Xanth, but each species had its own language, and few creatures spoke the languages of other species. Marrow, being a human skeleton, spoke human, and most of the human variants, such as elves, goblins, nymphs, and centaurs spoke it too. Ogres also spoke it, but they tended to be so gruff that they could not be understood, except for those who had direct human ancestry.

“—that you should hurry,” Marrow continued.

Dolph was in no trouble, but he couldn't actually run on the bone line; he had to keep careful hold on the bones. “Why?” he squeaked.

“Because a harpy is coming,” Marrow concluded.

Oops! Harpies were bad news. Not only were they female, they were ugly, and nasty, and hungry. A harpy would snatch up a dormouse just like that, and gobble it down instantly.

Could he make it across before the harpy arrived? Dolph paused to look, and saw the foul creature coming. She was flapping heavily with her gross wings, a clumsy flier; he could outrace her to the forest, where he could change. He didn't want to have to change in midstream; that could get complicated, and he might wind up yanking Marrow apart.

He scooted for the end of the line. The harpy definitely saw him; she veered to intercept him. Her foul odor preceded her; what an awful stench!

“I'll get you, you fine feculent mouse!” she screeched. Her voice was as unpleasant as her smell.

He made it to the end just as her dirty glistening talons snatched at him. He flung his arms around the trunk of the tree to which Marrow's hand attached, and became the ogre. “Me think she stink!” he growled.

“Oops! Didn't see you, pretty-face!” she screeched. “Where's the mouse?”

“Me mouse, she louse!” Dolph retorted. Evidently she did not realize that he was a form changer.

“You took my mouse, I'll take your bones!” she screeched. Her talons closed on the bone line, and she gave a tremendous yank. Marrow's fingers were wrenched from the branch they had clung to. His hand swung down to touch the water, dangling helplessly. The members of the pack of dogfish forged toward it. “Oh no you don't, fish-face!” the harpy screeched as a dogfish snapped at a bone finger. “These bones are mine to crack open!” She flapped upward, hauling the bone line after her.

Crack open? Marrow was in trouble! He could not reassemble himself; he had to be helped, and the harpy certainly wouldn't do that. It was up to Dolph to save him.

He became a small flying dragon. This gave him room enough to fly well, because he was not nearly as big as the roc, but also gave him fighting strength, because dragons were about as savage as anything. He launched himself at the harpy.

She saw him and did a messy double take. “A dragon!” she screeched. “Where did that come from? Help, sisters!”

Immediately there was an answering chorus of shrieks. The other harpies were coming! He had to get the bone line away from this one before they arrived.

He flew at the harpy, but she would not let go of the line. Harpies were very good at snatching, but no good at letting go. He sent a jet of fire at her, but she ducked it and kept flying. A real dragon probably could have speared her with a single lance of fire, but Dolph was clumsy at it, and his fire wasn't very hot anyway.

He closed his own talons on the middle of the line where the skull was. He pulled back on it, trying to snap the end out of the harpy's grasp. Still she would not let go.

“I fear you will pull me apart,” Marrow said. “That would be unfortunate, for if I lost some of my bones—”

Dolph was sure it would be bad. Meanwhile, the other harpies were arriving, each worse than the others. They would soon pull Marrow apart! What could he do?

“Perhaps some smoke,” Marrow's skull said.

Smoke! Dolph became a flying smoker dragon. It was a rare species, but he could become anything, rare or common. He inhaled, building up a bellyful of smoke. Then he breathed out a smoke screen that would have done credit to a real smoker. It formed a cloud that enveloped the bone line and the harpy at its end. He heard her coughing; she did not like the smoke. It was probably too clean for her.

“She has let go,” Marrow's skull said. “Haul me away!”

Dolph clung to the line and took off into the sky. But this carried him away from the cloud of smoke. The flock of harpies spied him and wheeled in the air to commence the pursuit. They wanted those bones! They screeched curses at him as they flew. Dolph was glad that his dragon form did not properly understand the human language, because his metallic ears were flushing. Those flappers had fowl mouths!

“Sticks and stones will break my bones,” Marrow's skull remarked philosophically, “but names will never hurt me.” Nevertheless, there seemed to be a slight flush even on the bone.

Dolph flew as fast as he could, the line dangling down and back. Marrow could not change back until kicked, and Dolph couldn't do that until he landed and changed form. He had to get away from the dirty birds!

But that seemed impossible. The harpies were ranged behind, not catching up but not falling back either. They would close the gap the moment Dolph tried to land, and might snatch away the flying bones when he kicked them. That was no good!

Maybe he could lose them in the deep forest. He veered to the east, where a forested mountain rose.

And the harpies fell back. Dolph had to glance back several times to be sure that his dragon's eyes weren't getting confused, but there was no doubt: they were no longer following. They were hovering hi the air above an invisible line.

“You'll be soo-ry!” they screeched in unison.

Dolph made a questioning growl. Marrow understood his query. “Evidently something bars them from this region,” he said. “But this forest seems harmless, and certainly better than getting my bones cracked by those awful creatures. Find a landing place, and we can resume our trek on foot.”

Dolph angled down. He searched, but found no suitable place for a dragon to land.

“You may drop me, then change to a smaller form,” Marrow said. “The fall should not damage me.”

Dolph located a small clearing, let go the line, then changed to hawk form and dived down after them. They reached the ground together. Then he resumed ogre form, picked up the line, bunched it together, and gave a big kick.

The bones flew up and out, and landed back in Marrow's familiar skeleton form. “That is a relief!” he said. ”I can not be harmed by many things, but bone chewing and bone cracking will do it. The harpies would have eaten out my essence."

“That's what I thought,” Dolph said. He was more shaken by the experience than he cared to admit. Those harpies were vicious creatures, so full of malevolence. Their example even made him inclined to wash behind his ears, because the harpies had ears almost as dirty as their mouths.