Authors: Michael Phillips
“Adela has too free a tongue for her own good,” snapped Alicia with uncharacteristic bluntness. “She’s too prone to tales.”
“But what did she mean—beware? Beware of what?”
“It’s nothing, Marie.”
“Please, Alicia, tell me.”
Alicia glanced away but still said nothing.
I waited. Finally, as she realized I wasn’t going away, she drew in a breath of resignation.
“It’s just one of those things Olivia spread after you came, when all the trouble about Gwendolyn and Alasdair was stirred up.”
“What did she say?”
“She said that you were trying to keep her from what she deserved.”
The reminder of Olivia’s attempt to subvert Alasdair’s reputation and keep Gwendolyn from her father made my blood boil.
“But beware of what, Alicia?”
“Of you, Marie.”
“Me?”
Alicia nodded reluctantly.
“Why beware of me? What harm could I possibly have been to anyone?”
“She said that you were after Alasdair’s money. I’m sorry.”
“Ahhgh!” I exclaimed in disgust. “I can’t believe it! I mean, I suppose I knew she was saying such things, but—”
I shook my head in disbelief.
“What did she say exactly?” I asked after a moment.
“There was a verse she whispered about town.—
Must
I tell you, Marie?”
“Yes, Alicia.”
“All right,” she sighed, then said:
“Of this stranger and idler beware.
Though her music seems soft and sweet,
and her words and smiles so fair,
in her heart lies only deceit.”
“That’s it?” I said.
Alicia nodded.
“It’s mean-spirited,” I said, actually relieved, “but it seems harmless enough. I thought it would be something really horrible.”
“None of Olivia’s verses are harmless,” rejoined Alicia.
I asked her what she meant. But nothing I could say would induce her to say more on the subject, and at last I gave it up for the day.
Tavia’s lesson was scheduled three days later, and Cora came on the same day right after Tavia. Whatever had been going on before seemed forgotten by then. As Alicia knew the other women, gradually it became our custom to have tea together between lessons, with Alicia joining us. She seemed to enjoy rekindling her former friendships after so long, despite the specter of Olivia that always seemed lurking not far away.
It occurred to me once or twice that Olivia might be preparing herself for the time when she would come back to Castle Buchan as a ghost. It almost seemed that she was
already
haunting the place, if only in the minds of the ladies who had coincidentally all been drawn back to the place they had known as children.
Being so far inside the castle, I hadn’t heard Alasdair drive up as we were having our tea. I was surprised when he walked into the studio suddenly.
“Marie, I was thinking, if you were free this afternoon, we—” he began as he walked through the door.
He stopped abruptly as he saw Alicia, Tavia, and Cora sitting with me, teacups in hand.
“Oh…sorry—I didn’t realize you had guests,” he said, standing still with an expression on his face I didn’t quite understand. He looked back and forth between the others for a moment. His mind was obviously revolving something.
“Hello, Tavia,” he said at length. “I haven’t seen you in some time…Cora,” he added, then turned and left.
“Excuse me,” I said. I set down my cup and ran to the door. Alasdair was disappearing along the corridor. I hurried after him, but he was walking quickly.
“Alasdair,” I called behind him. I caught up with him and fell into step at his side. “I will be free in an hour,” I said, “after my lesson with Cora, if you—”
“Forget it,” he said, still walking rapidly and not looking at me.
“But if you—”
“Forget it,” he said again. “It’s all right. I can see you’re busy.”
“I only have the two lessons, and Tavia is just leaving. I didn’t realize you knew her.”
“Yes, well…life is full of surprises.”
“Alasdair, what in the world is wrong?”
At last he stopped and turned toward me.
“What are those women doing here?” he asked almost angrily.
“I told you—just having harp lessons. I thought you—”
“But why are they here together…and with Alicia…Why are they
together
? What were you talking about?”
“I don’t know…nothing. Harp stuff.”
“Is that all?”
“Yes, of course. What else would you think it was?”
“I don’t know, nothing…I just— Forget it. I just wondered if Olivia’s little clique of mischief was back in business and if you were getting drawn into the web.”
“What web?”
“Olivia’s web—they were all part of it.”
“I know nothing about that. Please, Alasdair, I’m sure this is just a misunderstanding.”
“There are things you don’t know, Marie.”
“Then tell me.”
“It’s best you don’t know about them. Are you telling me that Olivia’s name never came up…that you only talked about your harp lessons?”
“Yes…Well, she came up a time or two, but only in passing and then everyone clammed up and no one said anything about her. Actually, it was strange.”
“So there was no talk of trying to initiate you into their little secretive club?”
“Secretive club? They haven’t been together in years— Good heavens, no, there was nothing like that. If anything, just the opposite. I felt like the odd woman out.”
“It would be Olivia’s pattern—to worm her way between us anyway she could to destroy the only time of happiness I have known in my life.”
“Nothing will destroy it, Alasdair. Olivia is in Aberdeen. She’s got nothing to do with any of this.”
“She has
everything
to do with it when those ladies are together. She can manipulate and control even when she is nowhere around. Maybe it’s telepathy, I don’t know.”
“I assure you, it’s nothing at all like that.”
“I hope you’re right,” said Alasdair, then he continued on down the hall, leaving me more perplexed than ever.
If this had been our first “fight,” I suppose it was a mild one.
Still, I didn’t like how it felt.
Thickest night, o’erhang my dwelling!
Howling tempests, o’er me rave!
Turbid torrents, wintry swelling,
Still surround my lonely cave!
Crystal streamlets gently flowing,
Busy haunts of base mankind,
Western breezes softly blowing,
Suit not my distracted mind.
—Robert Burns, “Strathallan’s Lament”
A
ll this time we heard nothing from Iain Barclay. I cannot say I forgot about him—I could never do that—but memories of our times together gradually receded into the background of my life with Alasdair.
One day, however, my curiosity got the better of me. There was one man in the neighborhood who was sure to know what had become of the former minister of Deskmill Parish. If anyone knew, that man would be Iain’s former spiritual mentor, Ranald Bain.
“How would you fancy a drive up the Bin to visit Ranald Bain?” I asked Alasdair at breakfast.
“I’m sorry, my love,” he replied. “I have a meeting with the accountant of the Fochabers estate to review some of our contingent leases. We’re having lunch together at Baxters. How about tomorrow?”
“Isn’t a storm coming in from Shetland tonight?”
“Actually, I think you’re right. Then go yourself and enjoy the sun while you can. And give Ranald my best.”
Alicia came in to clear up the breakfast things a little while later.
“Alicia,” I said, “how would you like to take a walk up the Bin with me later?”
She turned with the tray in her hands. “Today?” she said.
“Yes, in a few hours…when it warms up. I’m going to visit Ranald Bain—why don’t you come with me?”
“You’re going to the Bain croft,” she said with a strange look on her face.
“Alone?”
“Yes, of course!” I laughed. “What do you mean, alone?”
“I knew that you and the duke went to see him occasionally, but I…that is, I thought that was because the duke had business with him. I didn’t dream you would go by yourself.”
“What are you talking about?” I laughed again. “I’ve visited him a dozen times. He was one of my first friends here.”
“But don’t you know what they say?”
“What—you mean how the children are afraid of him? Of course I know about it. But that’s all nonsense.”
“It’s not just children,” said Alicia slowly. “And it’s not all nonsense.”
Her tone made me shiver. A weird sense of foreboding swept through me like a cloud had briefly passed overhead.
“What do you mean, Alicia?
You’re
not afraid of him, are you?”
“I don’t…No, not really, I mean…of course not,” she answered. But her tone and fumbling were hardly convincing.
“Then come with me. We’ll have a good time. If you don’t want to visit Ranald, we’ll just have a walk up the Bin.”
She agreed, though reluctantly. We packed a light lunch and set off between eleven and noon. By then I had managed to coax Alicia mostly back out from under the spell that had come over her so suddenly. It was a fabulous day, warm and bright, fragrant and with just the lightest breeze to keep the air interesting and to prevent it from being sultry. We talked freely as we went, more than we had since she had helped me get ready for the wedding. I told her about Canada and my childhood and about my hippie parents, and even some about my first marriage, which I’d not spoken about to anyone locally except a mention or two to Alasdair and Iain and Ranald.
As we set out, since it had been my idea, I assumed I was leading the way. But as we went it gradually became obvious that I was following
her
. She left the path I always took to the Bain croft and struck through the woods, veering a little farther south than my usual route. A few minutes later I found that we were indeed on a trail, though I hadn’t noticed when it had become one. Obviously, I realized, Alicia had grown up here and probably knew every path as well as she did her own backyard.
Most of the way took us through light woods blanketed with mossy undergrowth. At last we met the Bin trail coming from the south and began climbing the final steep slope, and I saw the trail of my usual path joining us.
We ate lunch at the summit. It was clear and beautiful as far as the eye could see. Alicia pointed out landmarks I hadn’t known from previous visits.
Suddenly a low roar sounded in the distance.
“What is that?!” I asked. “I hear it all the time. At first I thought it was thunder, but there isn’t a cloud in the sky.”
“It’s the RAF airfield at Lossiemouth…just there,” said Alicia, pointing west along the coast. “It’s probably a fighter jet taking off. Yes, look—there it is!”
About thirty miles away now, we saw a tiny speck banking almost straight up from the ground. Another roar sounded as a second jet took off. In seconds it had joined the first and was out of sight.
Peaceful silence again came to the top of the Bin. But not for long.
“Look, here they come,” said Alicia, pointing again.
Out over the water straight ahead of us the two planes were visible again, and coming our way. They looked like birds in the distance, except they were moving too fast to be birds. Within seconds they were nearly overhead. Still we heard no sound. They zoomed over us frighteningly low with unbelievable speed.
“Plug your ears!” shouted Alicia, clasping her hands to her head.
The next instant a thunderous explosion followed. Even as the delayed sound hit, already the jets were nearly out of sight.
“I never get tired of watching them,” said Alicia when stillness again reigned at the top of Crannoch Bin. “I have always been fascinated with airplanes. My father was in the RAF. Maybe that’s why. That roar of a jet engine always sends a thrill through me. Can I tell you one of my secret dreams?” she added, looking at me with what was almost a girlishly timid smile.
“Yes, of course. Please do!”
“It’s a little embarrassing, especially to tell
you
.”
“What do you mean,
me
? Why shouldn’t you tell me?”
“You’re an important lady now, a duchess. Why should you care about me and my silly notions?”
“Alicia! How can you say that?”
“But you are.”
“I’m still the same me I always was. I don’t want to hear any more nonsense about me being an important lady. I would love for you to share it with me.”
“All right—but you must promise not to laugh.”
“I promise.”
She glanced away. It seemed she was still staring after the two airplanes that had disappeared beyond the horizon.
“I would like to fly,” she said at length. “Not with wings, not like an angel, I mean…you know, actually learn to fly an airplane.”
“That
is
a big dream! Wouldn’t you be scared?”
“I don’t know—maybe a little. But I grew up hearing my father talk about flying as if it were no different than driving a car. Of course, I can’t drive a car either!” She laughed. “But I would still like to learn to fly. Maybe some day,” she added wistfully.
“I think it’s an exciting thought,” I said. “I would be frightened to death. But I was frightened when I first came to Scotland by myself, too. That was
my
dream, and look what happened!”
“Yes, but you’re more adventurous than me.”
“I never was. I’ve only had one adventure in my life…and this was it!”
“They don’t get much more exciting than marrying a duke and coming to live in a castle!” Alicia said with a light laugh.
“Does your father still fly?” I asked.
“He did. He was a pilot.”
“Is he retired?”
“He’s dead,” replied Alicia with abrupt matter-of-factness.
“Oh, I’m sorry. Did he have an accident or something?”
“No. He retired, then died of a heart attack two years later.”
“Oh.” I nodded. “And your mother?”
“She’s in a home in Elgin,” replied Alicia. “She has Alzheimer’s. I visit her twice a week, but she doesn’t know who I am.”
“That must be terribly hard,” I said.
Alicia nodded and smiled sadly.
Ever since I’d known her I had been curious about Alicia’s past, especially why she wasn’t married. She was attractive enough, yet she seemed to have lived a lonely existence in the castle all these years. Of course, so had Alasdair. Maybe she
had
been married? Why hadn’t she and Alasdair married? They were about the same age.
Now my thoughts were running away with themselves! None of it was any of my business.
Except that now
I
was Alasdair’s wife. Technically Alicia worked for me now, too. I was interested. I wanted to
know
her. Besides, she was my friend. At least I hoped she could become my friend. Up till now we had been what you might call friendly acquaintances. I hoped our relationship would grow to become deeper than that.
“Have you ever been married?” I blurted out after several seconds. The words just came out, but I let them stand.
Alicia said nothing for a long time. Slowly another smile came to her lips. But this, like the last, was a sad smile.
“No,” she said softly. Again it was silent. It was obvious she was reminiscing. I waited.
“I was engaged once,” she said after three or four minutes.
Another smile followed that spoke of happy memories. “It didn’t work out.”
“What happened?” I asked. “I mean…I’m sorry—I don’t mean to pry. I’m just interested. But you don’t have to tell me if—”
“No, that’s all right,” said Alicia. “It’s no big deal, really. He met someone else, that’s all, and called off the engagement. I suppose it happens all the time.”
“Not exactly
all
the time. It must have been awful.”
Alicia shrugged. “I guess it was. But in a way I suppose I half expected it.”
“What was his name?” I asked.
“It was Max…Max Urquhart.”
I stared back at her with wide eyes, wondering if I’d heard her right.
“You don’t mean
Olivia’s
husband?” I said.
Alicia nodded.
“I had no idea. I didn’t realize you were from around here. With your father in the RAF, I assumed you had moved around.”
“We did when I was very young. My only memories are of living in Port Scarnose. I started school here and have been here ever since.”
“So you knew Olivia…before?”
“All my life. We were close friends…well, as close as any of us could have been to Olivia. But of course after Max, that all changed. I hated her, but neither could I escape her.”
“You weren’t working for Alasdair at the time?”
“Oh, no—that came later. I worked part-time for his father and mother. Then after the duke’s first marriage, when he went away, they asked me to come live at the castle to help keep things in order. When the duke returned, I just sort of went with the place. He kept me on, and here I am.”
“Had you and Alasdair known one another well…before, I mean?”
“Well enough, I suppose. He was just Olivia’s brother to me. Then he went away to university and I hardly saw him again.”
“So there was never anything between the two of you?”
“Oh, no,” replied Alicia, as if the idea were absurd. “How could there be? I was under the spell.”
Her words took a few seconds to register. Before I could ask her what she meant, suddenly sounds from behind us interrupted the serenity of our picnic that had grown so serious. I turned to see a family of six hikers arrive, with four loud and energetic children and two rambunctious dogs that immediately began investigating our lunch. We scrambled to our feet and put our things away. We were through anyway and it was time to begin our descent, which I still hoped would result in a visit with Ranald Bain.
When we came to my usual path, I took it and Alicia followed. The easy slope down through the woods was much the same as the route we had taken before. But when we climbed the stone steps Ranald had placed into the wall bordering his meadow, Alicia became quiet, and she glanced several times in the direction where I knew the cottage lay. She clearly knew exactly where we were. I turned to cross the meadow in the direction of Ranald’s house. Alicia hesitated.
“I told you, Marie,” she said, “I am not going to that man’s house. You do whatever you want, but I am going back down to the castle.”
I stopped and turned around. “Do you know the way?” I asked.
She gave a little laugh. “I could find my way blindfolded,” she answered. “We used to come up here all the time.”
“Alicia, please,” I said. “I would really like you to meet Mr. Bain. He is a delightful man. I know you’ll find that he is—”
“Marie,” she interrupted forcefully. “I will not set foot in that man’s house.” Her voice was strange, distant, impersonal, like nothing I had ever heard from her before.
“But why, Alicia? Tell me why. What are you afraid of?”
“It has a curse on it.”
Without intending to, I broke out laughing for a moment. The look on Alicia’s face stopped me cold.
“A curse?” I said. “How could that be? I’ve been there a dozen times. It’s a wonderful place.”
“You’ve not actually been…You didn’t go
inside
?” said Alicia, her voice full of fear.
“Of course,” I replied, laughing lightly again.
“Oh, Marie!” she wailed in a horrible and forlorn sound. “Don’t you know what happens to people who tempt the curse? Don’t you know about his wife and daughter? They’re dead, Marie…
dead
. What have you done?!”
I couldn’t imagine what had come over her. She was almost hysterical.
Shaking her head and wailing, Alicia turned to run away.
But as she spun around, her first step took her headlong straight into Ranald Bain, who had been walking noiselessly toward us. How much he had heard, I didn’t know.
Alicia shrieked in terror and leaped back. I hurried to her and tried to calm her. She was trembling from head to foot.
“Hello, Marie,” said Ranald calmly. Then in the most kindly voice imaginable, he added, “Hello, Alicia. I am happy to see you again. It has been many years.”
Alicia only stared at him, her face pale, her body trembling. She was stiff and unmoving and made no attempt to leave my side.