Heat Wave (14 page)

Henry wriggled, placing a dirty forefinger beneath the line as he read.

Each word was faltering, some wrong. She frowned, watching him. He was reading far worse than before. “Henry, don’t you want to read today?”

His blue eyes stared solemnly at her. With a shock she realized he had been crying. His cheeks were smudged, his eyes red. When he’d entered the patio, she’d been too busy getting out the books to notice.

He didn’t answer, so she repeated her question. This time he shook his head, looking as miserable as she felt.

Marilee forgot her own troubles. “Henry, come here.” Scooting over to make room, she patted the seat beside her. Henry squeezed in next to her. Marilee pulled out a new comic book, placing her arm around him.

“Want me to read to you today?”

He nodded, so she opened the comic and started on a tale about dragons. She hadn’t finished the first page when she heard a sniff.

She looked down to see him brush at his cheek with his fist. She patted his shoulder. “Henry …” A shudder rippled the thin shoulders. “Henry, what’s wrong? What’s the matter?”

He hunched over, balling his fists against his eyes. “I want a daddy. Mom wants to get married and Uncle Cole won’t let her!”

Stunned, Marilee smoothed his curls with a gentle hand. “He can’t stop your mother from getting married.”

“Yes, he can. He doesn’t like Don. He told Mom she …” His voice broke on a sob and Marilee waited for him to get control of himself again. Her heart felt as if someone were grinding it into the dust. With a deep breath, Henry continued, “… was a fool to get married. He said it would only bring her trouble. They had a big fight.”

“Henry, oh, Henry.” Marilee hugged him as she stared blankly across the patio. She wanted to sob too. She fished a handkerchief out of her purse and pushed it in his hand. “Here.”

He brushed away the handkerchief so she dropped it into her lap. His small frame shook while he cried. “Uncle Cole said marriage is trouble and misery. He’s gonna talk her out of it and I still won’t have a daddy.”

“You have your Uncle Cole.”

“He’ll go. He always goes. He won’t take us with him.”

“If your mother really loves Don, she’ll make up her own mind.”

“Uncle Cole said she shouldn’t have married the other times and she yelled at him that she wouldn’t have me if she hadn’t. …”

Damn Cole anyway. “Henry, where were you when they argued?”

“In the hall some of the time. Uncle Cole came for breakfast this morning. They didn’t know I was awake.”

“Henry, your uncle loves you very much.”

He sniffed. After a moment he mumbled, “He doesn’t like Don.”

“Do you?”

“Yep.”

“Does your mother?”

“Yep. She loves him. Uncle Cole said she always thinks she’s in love. He said it won’t last, marriage is a trap. It’ll hurt her and me. It won’t! I know it won’t. He says it hasn’t brought anyone in our family any good.”

Oh, Lord. Marilee felt crushed. “Henry, your uncle loves you very much. He wouldn’t have hired me to tutor you if he wasn’t very interested in your welfare.” She squeezed his shoulder. She wanted to pull him into her arms and hold him, but she suspected it would embarrass him.

Henry sniffed, rubbing his sneakers together while he stared at the ground. “He’ll make Mom get rid of Don and then he’ll go and we’ll be alone again. He’s gonna leave.”

Something happened to her breathing as she felt a cold stab in her heart. “When’s he going?” She hated asking Henry, but she couldn’t resist.

“Day after tomorrow.”

A wave of agony swept through her. Unaware of how long she’d sat in stunned silence, she came out of her reverie when Henry coughed. She looked down at his hunched shoulders.

“Henry, would you rather ride Blaze today than have a reading lesson?”

He glanced up and her heart felt as if it were breaking. His blue eyes were wide, filled with hurt. A tear spilled over onto his mud-streaked face, where tears had already run across the grime. He wiped it away hastily. Suddenly she could picture Cole as a child, see him hurt as badly as Henry.

She ached for him, for Henry, for herself.

Henry said, “I can’t ride Blaze unless Uncle Cole is along.”

“I’ll get your Uncle Cole. Come on, let’s wash your face and get a drink of cold water.”

As soon as she had bathed away some of the grime and given Henry a glass of iced water, she sent him to the patio to wait.

With leaden steps, she walked to the foot of the stairs and called, “Cole!”

A husky voice drawled, “Hi.”

She twisted to look above her. Cole was leaning over the rail, gazing down at her, his broad shoulders, sexy blue eyes, his strong hands and lean body all conveying a vigorous, appealing masculinity that brought a tightness to her heart. She tried to ignore her automatic physical reaction to him. When her gaze met his, the smile on his face vanished. “Hey, what’s wrong?”

“May I talk to you a minute?”

He came down the stairs and her despair deepened. Her heart skipped a beat at the sight of him. He had bathed and was dressed in snug jeans, boots, and an unbuttoned plaid shirt with the shirttails hanging out. His unruly hair was blown dry and combed into waves, except for a few curling, wet tendrils above his collar. She loved him. Totally. It was that simple and that terrible.

Buttoning his shirt, he descended and stopped in front of her. The top three buttons were still unfastened, revealing his broad chest with its dark hairs. She longed to reach for him, to touch him, to put her arms around him. Instead, she asked quietly, “Can we go somewhere private to talk?”

He motioned toward the living room, closing the door behind them. He put his hands on her shoulders as he gazed solemnly at her. “What’s happened?”

“Henry overheard your argument with his mother this morning.”

“Oh, Lord.” He grimaced. “I thought he was asleep.” His blue eyes searched hers.

“I told him you’d take him to ride Blaze.”

“I think something else is bothering you.”

“He’s been crying.”

Cole flinched and she wished she hadn’t had to tell him. “I wouldn’t hurt Henry for the world,” he said gruffly.

“He said he likes Don. He wants a father.”

“Sandy is gullible, she’s vulnerable.”

And so am I! she wanted to shout. “Don’t you think Sandy ought to decide whether she’ll many or not?”

“Look, I’m the one who always has to pick up the pieces. Why do you think all her dresses are at the farm? Where do you think she goes when her world collapses?”

The hard look in the blue eyes she loved drove her beyond control. “It’s too damn bad she’s isn’t invincible, completely self-sufficient like her brother!”

His blue eyes became glacial. “Marilee, I warned you that first night,” he said quietly. “What we have together is marvelous. I want you now, but there’s a part of me that just can’t give. It isn’t in me. I’ve been alone too many years, for so damn long, I can’t remember when I depended on someone else for an emotional need. What family I have, depends on me. I had to be that way to survive, to take care of Sandy when we were kids, and now to take care of Henry. Whether I like it or not, my self-sufficiency has lasted.”

“You’re leaving this week.”

“I’ll be back now and then. Oh, honey, I don’t want to hurt you. …”

But you don’t need me, she thought. “Cole, Henry needs you badly. Will you see about him?”

“I will in a moment. Marilee, it’s been so good. What we feel is special. …”

His voice dropped to the husky note that could always send a shiver down her spine. She wanted Cole. In spite of everything, knowing that he’d never need her as she did him, she wanted him. “Please, see about Henry.”

For an instant she faced the unfathomable blue of his eyes, like an opaque sea. Then Cole turned.

“Well talk later, Marilee.”

He left, the door standing open behind him. She waited without moving until she was certain both he and Henry would be gone. As she started outside, Grant entered the patio.

“Time to go. Are you ready?”

“Yes.”

“Anything wrong, Marilee?”

She shook her head. “No. Nothing at all.” Nothing except the broken heart that had been inevitable since Cole’s first kiss.

She climbed into the truck and sat between Grant and Ted. As they followed the flat road to the gate they saw two riders leaving the barn. Cole swept off a broad-brimmed hat to wave at them. Grant tapped the horn. Inside of Marilee, a small voice said good-bye to Cole. She knew she would see him again, but their brief affair was over.

As soon as she reached home, she peeled off her clothes and bathed in a cool tub. Afterwards, dressed in cut-offs and the yellow halter she’d worn the day she’d fallen into Cole’s pool, she fixed a tall glass of iced tea and caught her hair up to fasten it on top of her head. She sat down in front of the papers piled on the kitchen table. Cole had cost her time when she should have been home working on her manuscript. He had cost her more than time. She stared at the wall and realized the cruise didn’t hold any charm for her. Nothing but sexy blue eyes, Cole’s strong arms, his companionship had fascination for her now.

She blinked back tears. Damned if she would cry over him like Henry had! Not at all. She wiped a tear off the paper under her hand and tried to concentrate. Oh, yes. Cole Chandler had cost her dearly. She shouldn’t let him delay the textbook, mess up her career too!

It was an effort to concentrate for more than a few minutes at a time. She couldn’t stop thinking about Henry, about Cole. Cole would leave soon, be out of her life forever unless she wanted bits and pieces of him if he came to stay at the farm again. No thanks. Could she resist even bits and pieces? She wiped her damp brow and checked the thermostat, moving it again.

By nine o’clock that night she knew with certainty that her air conditioner wasn’t working. Hot and miserable, she rummaged through the garage for a fan and set it beside the desk while she tried to type.

One hour, four finished pages, and eighteen discarded ones later, the doorbell rang.

Marilee opened the door to face Cole. Dressed in the same plaid shirt and jeans he’d had on earlier, he looked cool, handsome, and immaculate. A black Stetson was pushed to the back of his head over a tangle of curls. His gaze swept over her and his eyes narrowed. “Are you all right?”

“I’m fine.” That was a whopper. “What do you want?”

His eyes narrowed a fraction more. “May I come in?”

“Sure.” She stepped aside to let him enter.

“Damnation. Do you have the furnace on?”

She wiped her forehead and neck. For a moment she had forgotten the heat. “My air conditioner broke.”

“For heaven’s sake. Why didn’t you tell me?”

“It just happened an hour ago. Why should I tell you?”

“Come out to the farm until you get it fixed. With the weather we’ve been having, there’s probably a waiting list for repairs.”

“Thanks, but I need all my notes.”

As she talked his gaze traveled past her, taking in her surroundings, and she realized he hadn’t been in her house before.

“Well take your notes.”

“That’s impossible.” The good-bye had to come. She steeled herself to face him, to get through the next few minutes.

“Show me your notes.”

“I’ll stay here and practice some of your damned self-sufficiency.”

His gaze returned to her, settling with a jarring intensity as his eyes narrowed. She wished she hadn’t said it and added quickly, “I won’t get any work done if I’m at your house.”

“I won’t disturb you. I’ll be in Tulsa. I have to be there in the morning, sooner than I expected.”

Her temper snapped. “I don’t want to come to your house, to look at your things and long for you, your touch, your smile, your company!”

“Oh, honey, I’m sorry. Let’s go where it’s cool, where we can talk rationally.”

“Is this how you always tell your women goodbye? Leave the broken hearts strewn behind like old flowers?”

She knew the accusation was unfair, but everything hurt. She was hot and miserable and suffering. Her temper, her patience had burned away. Cole had started toward her, but at her angry words he halted, a flush darkening his cheeks. For a long moment they stared at each other.

When he spoke, his voice was harsh. “I didn’t mean to hurt you. We’ve had something good between us. I just can’t help what I am, Marilee. If I asked you to go to Tulsa with me, you wouldn’t be happy. Would you give up your work and go?”

“No,” she answered swiftly. “Because in a few weeks you’ll go to Alaska and I’ll return to teaching. It would be good-bye then, so it’ll be easier now.” She held her breath for an agonizing second, waiting, hoping he might refute her statement, say they wouldn’t part at the end of the summer. He didn’t and her tiny hope crashed to pieces.

Instead he said, “Come to Tulsa until summer is over. I want you.”

“ ‘Until summer is over …’No thanks. So there’s nothing more to say. I couldn’t bear to stay at your house. I’d rather move into a motel.”

He drew a sharp breath. “If that’s what you want …”He turned and left. Cole vanished out of her life as swiftly as he had entered it. Their good-bye had been quick and simple. The hurt was monumental.

She let the tears fall unheeded, staring at the door. Suddenly, she started to rush after him, to see if she could catch him. A few more weeks with him in Tulsa was better than nothing.

With her hand on the doorknob, she halted. It would be worse and hurt more to say good-bye later after weeks with him. Leaning her forehead against the door, she listened to the Thunderbird start and drive away.

Finally she walked back into the kitchen and stared at her papers while long minutes ticked past. She wanted to dump all her work into the trash. It held no interest at all. Only one thing in the world was important, and he was gone.

She picked up the phone to dial her parents and ask if she could spend the night where there was air conditioning. Then she reconsidered, riffled through the phone book, called a Holiday Inn, making reservations for a room.

She fed the dogs, packed, and moved to the motel. Half a dozen times that night she reached for the phone, wanting Cole so badly that she was willing to take whatever she could get. But each time she stopped, dredging up all the logical reasons to resist calling him. There would be a goodbye between them eventually. He had made that all too clear. Now would cause less pain. But how could the hurt be any greater? Marilee slept finally, still dressed, sitting in a chair. She woke early and returned home.

The next days blurred, running together. Cole had already left for Oklahoma when she, Grant, and Ted showed up for work that next morning. They finished scraping and finally painted his house. By working feverishly every spare moment she had finished her text before the deadline, but the effort drained her. All her enthusiasm was gone.

Gone just as surely was her interest in the cruise. She wanted to cancel, but it would place a financial hardship on Gina and Karen since she’d shared expenses with them. Besides, while nothing could alleviate her suffering, she might as well sit on a beautiful tropical beach as stay in blistering, dry Kansas.

She had continued tutoring Henry, who showed the marked improvement she had predicted to Cole, for as soon as Cole left town she discovered that Henry and Sandy lived in Wichita. They changed their schedule and she tutored Henry in her own home up until three days before the cruise. From Henry she learned that Sandy had an engagement ring and planned to get married the first week in September, and that one of Cole’s men had taken Bonny Charles to Kansas City to the livestock show where he’d won first place.

A few days before she was due to fly to Miami she received an envelope postmarked Tulsa, Oklahoma. She studied the scrawled handwriting for several minutes before opening the envelope. She pulled out a folded piece of paper and two checks fluttered to the floor.

Cole’s message was brief. “Hi, hon. Miss you. Love, Cole.”

Torn with agony, with longing for him, she gazed at the note for a long time. Finally she picked up the two sizable checks, one to be split among herself, Grant, and Ted, and the other for her tutoring. The latter was more than they had agreed upon.

She hugged his note to her heart, wanting any part of him. Then she carefully set it where she could glance at it while she packed for the cruise.

The time to leave finally arrived. Dressed in beige slacks and a matching blouse, Marilee settled in to her window seat beside her two friends, Karen and Gina. As they took off and the plane rose above Wichita, heading east, she glanced down.

Harvested fields of yellow stubble spread below. They flew over a sprawling house with a bright blue swimming pool and she was enveloped in agony, remembering Cole’s deep blue eyes, his hard, tanned body, his teasing companionship.

For the thousandth time she reminded herself that she had known from the start that it wouldn’t last. She felt a jab in her side and turned to face her blond companion.

Karen Franklin stared intently at her. “Marilee, what’s the matter with you? You only hear half our conversations.”

“I’m sorry.”

“You act like you haven’t climbed out of bed. Do you have your itinerary? Mine’s in my suitcase.”

“It’s right here.” She rummaged through her purse and handed the itinerary to Karen.

Gina leaned closer to Karen to read with her.

“Imagine being in Miami in such a short time,” Gina said. “I hope I get such a tan that it won’t fade until next April!”

Marilee smiled at the dark-haired woman. Gina was as dark as Karen was blond.

“I can’t wait to meet some gorgeous hunk on shipboard,” Gina continued. “I hope he’s six feet four, has golden hair, and blue eyes.”

“Good!” Karen said. “That leaves the tall, dark, silent type for me.” She glanced at Marilee. “What’s your type, Marilee?”

“I’m sorry, what did you say?”

“Where are you? What type of man appeals to you? We better know before we get on that cruise ship. Well know what or who to look for.”

“I’ll leave all the men on shipboard to the two of you.”

“Then why’re you going on a cruise?” Gina asked. “I’m looking for the future Mr. Whatever-His-Name-Is.”

Smoothing a wayward tendril back into the bun on top of her head, Marilee smiled. “I’m going to rest, swim, look at green trees and green grass and blue water. Anything besides wheat and dry ground.”

“I find that a little hard to believe,” Gina said, eyeing Marilee curiously.

“You know Marilee means what she says.”

“No woman in her right mind means that! You’ll change when we get on board.”

They landed in Miami and checked into their hotel. Marilee declined an evening of sightseeing, telling her friends truthfully that she had a headache. The next day they left for their ship.

Dressed in a green and white striped cotton dress with a thin green belt and white pumps, Marilee rode quietly in their taxi to the dock. At the sight of the Aphrodite Oceanis, the beautiful white ocean liner riding at anchor, her spirits remained at a low ebb. She climbed the gangplank, listening to her friends’ conversation, while part of her remained lost in memories of various moments spent with Cole, of his deep-throated laugh, his passionate lovemaking. She had been hurting so steadily and relentlessly, she wondered if she would ever get over the wound. As she trailed quietly behind Gina and Karen, she compared herself to her two companions.

Both of them were younger. Gina had just finished her second year as a Latin teacher and Karen had finished her fourth year as a home economics teacher.

While they were all good friends at school, Marilee found it impossible to share in Karen and Gina’s enthusiasm now. The prospect of meeting entertaining men on the cruise was obviously uppermost in their minds. And she knew they didn’t believe her when she said she wasn’t interested.