HEAT Vol. 2 (Master Chefs: HEAT Series #2) (2 page)

Yes. 
I was getting exactly what I deserved.  I’d strayed, strayed far, far off the
righteous path I’d carved out for myself.  And now I had to pay.

But
the cost of my isolation was wearing me down and wearing me out.  The endless
days of commuting to the institute, locking myself in the lab to work all day,
then commuting back only to spend my nights busying myself with tedious
housekeeping chores had become a blur.

The
one bright light I’d had in the past months was the development of a rich and
creamy sauce that was as voluptuous as any made with heavy cream and butter,
but it, in fact, had been made with skim milk.  With ninety calories less for
each cup, it was both satisfying to the palate and easy on the hips.

But
that bright light had quickly been extinguished.  I’d hope to present it to the
board, but Monsieur Franchines had simply taken a sample jar of the sauce and
my notes, and had met the board himself.

I
was shunned.

On
the bus ride to the institute, I readied myself for another long day alone, and
after four hours of blending, mixing, measuring and jotting down notes of every
more I made, I slithered out of the lab and headed down to the vending machine
for a cup of coffee.

“How
‘bout a real lunch?”

I
jumped and turned around, dropping my coins in the process.  As they rolled
away I looked at Taryn.  “Coffee is fine,” I blurted out.  I bent down to chase
and pick up my coins, hoping she’d be gone by the time I stood again.

No
such luck.  She stood there, her eyes surprisingly compassionate and kind.  Not
really what I had expected.

“Come
on.  I think we need to get some real food in there.”  She took me by the arm
and guided me out onto the street where she turned left and then entered a
small café nearby.  “I’ll order.  You go sit down.”

While
she waited in line, I sat at a table by the front window and stared out at the
street.  Maybe she had some news on Bobby.

She
arrived at the table five minutes later with a steaming bowl of thick vegetable
soup, some thickly sliced crusty bread and two cups of coffee.  “Eat up.”

“Thanks,
but I’m really not hungry.”

“Not
hungry?  Honey, you're emaciated.  When’s the last time you’ve had a full
meal?  Solid food?”

I
shrugged.  I couldn’t really remember.  For the most part the only food I’d
eaten in the past weeks was the sauce I’d tested.

“Your
heart may be telling you you're not hungry, but your body is showing just how
your heart has deprived you of nourishment.  Ironic for someone who spends so
much time working to make food better.”  She pushed the bowl of soup to me. 
“You need to eat.  Please.”

After
everything I’d done to Bobby, I couldn’t bring myself to accept her charity.

“I’m
not letting you go until that bowl is empty.”  Her smile was broad and
genuine.  No one would have ever thought me responsible for the expulsion of
her brother.

“Okay.” 
I sipped a few spoonfuls.  The soup was good; good and hot.  Inspiring even. 
Already I was thinking of a special soup I could make that I was sure would
sell well.

“Have
you spoken to Bobby since he’s left?” she asked.

I
shook my head and continued to sip my soup.

“I
happen to know he’s tried repeatedly to reach you.  He’s tried calling, has
sent you messages.  Don’t you want to talk to him?”

It
wasn’t a surprise.  The first few days he’d called virtually every hour, but I
ignored each call.  They dwindled down to a few every day, then once or twice a
week and finally, since the holidays, he’d only called once.

“Lilly,
Bobby is heartbroken, but he’s not angry with you.  He doesn’t blame you.  In
fact, he blames himself.”

“We
were both in that office,” I said plainly.

“Why
do you insist on beating yourself up about this?”

 I
looked at her as if she were a little stupid.  Her gaze remained sharp and
frank, and I softened my stance.  “I was his mentor.  Did he tell you that?”

“Yes,
but do you really think you're the first mentor to stumble and fall for a
protégé?  I assure you, there’s a very long line of teachers, professors and
mentors who weren’t able to resist the temptation of their subordinate.”  She
smiled a knowing smile.

“I
guess.”

“I
have to ask you; do you love him?”

“I
thought I did.  I don’t know.”  I concentrated on the soup then looked up at
her.  “I’m not sure I really know what love is.”

Taryn
nodded.  “Bobby told me you grew up in a convent.  You had a pretty sheltered
life, didn’t you?”

“Very
sheltered.”

“I
imagine the only love you know is that of Jesus; of your Lord.”

“You
could say that.”

She
chuckled. “That’s a pretty hard show to follow.”

I
smiled for the first time since bumping into her.  Actually it was the first
smile in a very long time.

“Had
you ever kissed a boy before?”

I
shook my head.  “I know it must sound ridiculous.  A twenty year old who’s
never been kissed.”

“Twenty?” 
Astonished, she looked at me.  “You're only twenty years old?”

“Do
I really look that much older?”  Instinctively, I brought my hands to my cheeks
and ran my fingers up to my temples.

“Of
course not.  It’s just… Well, there aren’t many twenty year old teachers at the
institute, never mind twenty year old mentors.  And you work at the lab?  When
and where did you learn so much so fast?”

“The
convent was very serious when it came to teaching us useful lessons.  Food is
just about the most important thing in life, after Christ of course.  We had a
garden, a vast garden and rows of fruit trees, and we learned to tend to the
food from the seed we planted in the earth to the finished product we set on a
plate.  We were taught that food should connect with every sensory aspect of
dining.  It should smell divine, look appetizing, be texturally interesting and
the flavors should explode in the diner’s mouth.”

“You
know, I was twenty-three when I first came to Paris, to the institute.  I may
not have led as sheltered a life as you, but I was still pretty innocent…
really naïve.  The feelings and emotions I had when I first met Errol really
threw me off.  I didn’t know what being with a man meant.”

“Are
you saying Errol was your first?”

She
nodded.  “Just because I’m from New York doesn’t mean I’m a slut, you know.” 

She
winked and I laughed. 

“That’s
not what I meant.  It’s just…  I guess I thought I was the last virgin.”

She
joined me in laughing about our lost virginities and the complexities of new
relationships.

“You
and Errol make it look so easy.  I mean, you're perfection together.”

Sighing,
her eyes glazed over and she seemed to leave me for a moment.  “It wasn’t
always like that.”

“But
you married him.”

“Eventually,
yes, but there were ups and downs along the way.  I think at first I had a
crush on him, then there was definitely a lot of lust, that physical
attraction, and finally I realized I really loved him for the man he is and I
wanted to spend my life with him.  If anything, I think all those obstacles,
all the things that got in the way of us being together are what make us so
strong together.  I mean, we worked so hard to get here and now we don’t want
to lose what we have together.”

I
nodded and took in what she said.  “How is Bobby doing in New York?”

“Actually
he left New York a month ago.”

I
frowned, my eyes questioning her.

“He
stayed and helped my mom out at the restaurant for a while.  The holidays are
always a real rush, incredibly hectic, so he stuck around until then, but after
that he came back to Europe.”

“To
France?”

“No. 
He’s been traveling all over Europe.  I think he’s on some kind of spiritual
journey to find himself.  He’s been backpacking across Germany and onward to Switzerland, blogging all the way.  I think he’s somewhere in Belgium now.  He’s met a lot of interesting and inspiring people, and I think he, in turn,
is inspiring people with his blog.”

“Oh.” 
I was stunned.  Bobby was back here in Europe.  Yet… one month… The last call I
received from him was one month ago.

“Monsieur
Franchines told him to grow up and mature before returning to the institute.  I
think Bobby is trying to find that maturity as quickly as possible.”

I
laughed, but felt tears work their way to my eyes.  “I’m happy to hear he’s
doing so well.”

“I
know he would love to hear from you.”

I
shrugged.  “I wouldn’t know what to say.  I think I would just blubber like an
idiot.”

“Have
you checked your emails lately?”

“No. 
I don’t have a computer at home.  I would usually check my emails at the
institute.  I had a computer in my office, but…  Anyway, no.  I don’t have
access to that office anymore, so I haven’t had the chance to check my emails.”

“I
think you should try to find a way to get them.  At the very least you could
just send him a quick word saying you're happy for him.  I’m sure it would mean
a lot to him.”

Chapter 2

I
t took a full three months before I could
access my old office and my computer.  It wasn’t easy.  Monsieur Franchines was
severely disappointed in what had happened between Bobby and me that I thought
during those three months, he would change his mind and fire me altogether. He
had taken the keys back and for a while, no one used the office.  That is until
they found Gaetan Petit, a replacement for the basic food science class I’d
taught, and gave him access to my office, while I was kept almost locked away
in the lab, working furiously on a new line Franchines wanted to debut at a
local food show. Despite what happened, I was too valuable for him to fire.
That was a consolation yet I still felt like an outcast.

I
hated the thought of sneaking in, but I couldn’t find an alternative.  At this
point I regretted not opening a personal email account, one that I could open
from anywhere.  As it was, I only had an account attached to the institute.

Hopefully
Monsieur Franchines hadn’t closed the account or changed the password.  If that
was the case, I would have no way of ever reaching Bobby.

So
there I was, at the threshold of the office trying to think of the best way to
get Gaetan to let me use my old computer.

Should
I just be honest and tell him what I needed, or would it be better to use the
little story I’d concocted… something about needing to pull up a recipe housed
only in my old computer.

“Can
I help you?” Gaetan said when he looked up and saw me.

“I
just ran into one of your students hanging around your classroom.  He said he
forgot something in the class; something he needs for his next class.  If
you're busy, you could just hand me the key and I’ll go open it for him.”

Frowning,
he looked at me.  It was clear in that very instant that he didn’t trust me.  I
had no idea why.  Was I that bad a liar?

Ashamed,
I realized I shouldn’t have lied at all, but I’d panicked and had felt the need
to get him out of the office so I could read my emails in peace.

Gaetan
opened the first drawer of his desk, grabbed his keys and stood.  “I’ll go take
care of it.”

Smiling,
I moved aside as he walked out, thankful he didn’t see a reason to close and
lock the office door.  The second he turned the corner, I hurried behind the
desk, opened my email account and checked my inbox.

Seventeen
messages from Bobby.

I
knew I wouldn’t have time to read them all, so I went to the last three.

Lilly,

I
don’t know what more I can say.  I wish you’d just send word you're okay.

Bobby

Then;

Lilly

Please,
just say hello.  Let me know you don’t hate me.

Bobby

A
month or two passed by and finally, a week and a half earlier;

Lilly

I
respect your decision.  Just know I wish you happiness.

Bobby

It
had been a while, but I hit reply;

Bobby,
forgive me for not answering sooner.  I don’t hate you.  There isn’t a day that
has passed that I haven’t thought about you.  I’m sorry I couldn’t get back to
you before today.  Taryn said you're hiking your way across Europe.  I’m happy
to hear you're doing so well.  Since that conversation with her, every night
when I close my eyes I picture you, in the Alps, in the forests of Germany, in the meadows of Belgium or even the crossroads of Italy.

Please
call me.  This time I will answer, I promise.

Lilly

I
heard footsteps coming down the hall and quickly hit send then closed my
account.  I hurried around the desk and stepped out of the office before Gaetan
turned the corner.  When I’d made it to the corridor facing the office, I
stopped to lean back against the wall and catch my breath.

If
I was caught, I’d lose everything I had left… my work at the lab, my good name,
and my reputation as a technician.

But
I smiled and tilted my head back against the wall.  “Bobby,” I whispered.  Just
the thought of having contacted him sent thrills up and down my spine.  The
thought of seeing him again was overwhelming and I realized just how much I’d
really missed him.

These
past weeks, I’d buried myself in my work – and a little bit of self pity – and
had pushed aside my thoughts and feelings for Bobby.  I’d tried to gloss over
the days I’d spent with him, the love we’d shared.