Heartbreaker Breaks (A Bittersweet Lottery Love Story) (Tangled Hearts & Broken Vows: Tales of Infidelity Book 1) (11 page)

  She purposely slept late the next day to avoid his questioning, popping out of bed in a mad rush when the front door slammed with his exit for the day. The time on her phone read 9:00 A.M, an hour until Nick would be waiting outside on the tree stump. She flew through the morning, showering with jasmine scented soaps and shampoos, singing a poppy love song she had heard on the radio the night before while driving Nick home.

  “What shall we do today?” She practically sang to him as she approached, her diaphanous and long white cotton dress trailing behind her in the light spring wind.

  “You look really pretty today, Faye,” He stood up and leaned forward as if he were going to kiss her on the cheek. They both pulled away before connecting as if shy with each other.

  “I dig that play we saw last night, but I need a man movie today. I’m not going to let you turn me into one of your girlfriends.” He laughed, and she laughed, and her world never felt so right as in that moment. She wanted to stand by the tree with him for all eternity, suspended in time in their unshakeable gaze until the universe tumbled into itself.

  “I would never want you to be one of my girlfriends… I tell you that all the time. Okay, what do you want to see?”

  He replied with the name of a big budget superhero film that Faye would have never gone to see on her own, ever, ever, ever.

  They had a leisurely breakfast at an outdoor café not far from her house. The conversation flowed, and they fed each other bites of their breakfasts. Faye felt joyfully and didn’t even mind the judgmental stares from the waiters. Finished with their meal, they rushed off to the Third Street Promenade to catch the first showing of the day.

  The film was worse than Faye had imagined. Cardboard characters, implausible plotlines and loud explosions, she quickly fell asleep. She woke-up as the credit rolled to find her head on his shoulder, his fingers aimlessly playing with her hair.

  She shot up in her seat, reestablishing their boundaries. She did it for his sake, not hers. There was noting more she would have rather done than rest in his arms, with or without intimacy. A pain shot to her heart as the bleakness of his future unfurled in her mind.

  Nick would never know what so many others took for granted, the ability to love without fear. He would push and push those that cared for him away, until it all became a self-fulfilling prophesy, and he would be alone. His greatest fear, and his greatest comfort.

  She squinted her eyes shut, grateful that the theatre lights hadn’t gone on yet. “What shall we do now?” She asked with false cheeriness.

  “How about if we just go down to the beach?”

  “Okay,” She murmured.

  “I’m guessing you didn’t like the movie?” He asked as they stood in front of the theater, stretching in the bright sunlight.

  “No… I liked it, it was…”

  “You fell asleep, Faye.” He laughed.

  “No, I didn’t,” She playfully poked his belly and recoiled instantly.

  “You can poke me, it’s okay.” He laughed again.

  “I don’t think so.”

“You know we slept together, right? You can touch me.”

  “That we did….” She looked down at the ground and felt herself blushing.

  “Yeah, we did, and you know what? You snore, and you snored through the whole movie too.”

  She looked up to him, meeting his eye, and saw he was joking. “I do not snore,” She opened her eyes wide and said through a bright smile.

“Yes you do, like this,” He leaned into her and made a loud snoring sound into her ear, causing her to collapse into giggles.

  “Faye?” A voice she recognized called out. She jerked backwards and hoped her mind was playing tricks on her. It was not to be. She turned and looked down the promenade to see Dario approaching her, a quizzical look on his face.

  “Dario…” She looked back and forth between the two of them, desperately trying to think of a reason why she would be standing in such a friendly way with a man half her age. “Hi… What are you doing here? This is my friend… Nick. He’s going to model for my handbag line. I’ll be running a big ad in Vogue at the end of summer.”

  She knew instantly that her lie was ridiculous. Why would should hire a male model for a purse line? She hung her head low, avoiding Dario’s piercing and paternalistic stare.

  “Hi Dario, nice to meet you,” She sensed they were shaking hands, but didn’t look up to see, “Well Faye, good to bump into you. See you around…. I have to go get some new running shoes, heading over to Nike.” He over-enunciated Nike, signaling for her to meet him there. In all her time with him, she had never heard him lie so poorly. He had been smooth before. She wanted to kick him in the shin.

  “Bye...” Her voice trailed off.

  She took a deep breath and looked confidently at Dario, “I’ll see you later, have to get home now… Make dinner for Adam.”

  “I was in New York last week, and I went into Bergdorfs. They’ve never heard of you Faye. They’re not carrying your handbags.”

  “Of course not, Dario,” She laughed shrilly, “The order was for fall. I’ll be shipping them at the end of July.”

“You’re lying. And who is that boy? He should be for Anja or Ines, not for you.”

   “I don’t know what you mean Dario,” She said very seriously as if he had lost his mind. “He’s a model I hired for my ads, and I just ran into him. I was out shopping.”

  “I know you and Adam are having troubles, but this isn’t going to help. You’re only making things worse.”

  “We are fine, and the boy, who is actually a man, he’s twenty-four, is just my friend. You worry too much.” She crossed her arms and looked down at the ground again.

  “I’ll give you a week because I love you like a sister. Tell Adam what you’re doing. If you don’t, I will.”

  “There’s nothing to tell.” She jerked her head up and shouted.

  “I know he hasn’t been fair to you, and maybe he deserves this, but he’s my brother. He saved me from the rabid dogs, many times.” He laughed as if trying to lighten the mood, “My loyalty will always be with him. You have a week Faye.” He leaned forward and kissed her on the forehead.

  Faye stood for a moment, her body stiff, ready to crumble as he walked away. Adam would make her cut Nick out of her life. She had always known in the back of her mind that it was inevitable that their time together would come to an end. Still, the finality of it, the end date so near and clear, pained her in a way that would have been unimaginable just a few weeks before.

  She found him in the running shoes department, a pile of sneakers lay by his feet. Two shop girls holding more boxes of shoes giggled, clearly smitten with him. Faye stood out of sight from them, watching their interaction.

  The girls were a bit younger than him, and vying for his attention, elbowing each other to get closer. Nick reveled in their ardor, smiling coyly, joking about the selection of footgear. Still, she could see a trace of contempt in his eyes, his worldview was so corrupt that he couldn’t see the innocence behind the girl’s very apparent crush.

  “Hey Faye,” He turned to where she was standing behind the display of socks, “You up for some reckless spending? I need some new running shoes.”

  “Of course… You should get some socks too,” She mindlessly grabbed a stack of them off the tiered structure.

“Is that your Mom?” One of the girls innocently asked.

  “If you mean hot momma, then yeah.” He laughed and reached out to pile of socks she carried with her.

  “Oh…” The girls scattered.

  “Nick… They weren’t rude, you shouldn’t have said that.” She gently admonished him.

  “Whatever,” He bent down and organized the shoeboxes into a keep and reject pile. “It’s gets annoying. Girls get so… Anyway, that’s why I like being with you, you were never like that.”

  “That’s not what you said the other day,” she mumbled, hoping he wouldn’t hear. The words still stung even though she knew they hadn’t been real and came from a place of pain inside of him.

  “Huh?” He stood, boxes in hand and with a head gesture led Faye to the checkout area, “What happened with you and Dario? That was a close call. Do you really think I could be a model?” He flexed his body into the style of 1950’s bodybuilder and pouted in an exaggerated way. Faye couldn’t help but laugh.

  “You’re getting a bit old for that career choice. You’ll be twenty-five in August,” She teased, hoping to distract him from asking more questions about Dario.

  “That’s a cold one, Faye.”

  “New shoes will cheer you up,” She handed her credit card to the distracted cashier.

  He looked toward the total on the register display, “It’s only 495.00, sorry I didn’t spend more. I know how much you hate money.”

  “I’m meeting with Serge, my lawyer, tomorrow. I think I have it all squared away now. Hopefully it will all be dispersed by the end of the month. That also means no breakfast for us. Lunch instead? 1:00, at Figtree Café?”

  “Yeah 1:00 good, but does that mean no more spas and shopping? What will we do all day?” He smiled mischievously to her.

  “It’s not like I’m going to be broke. Although, I am going to have go back to work again. My assistant must hate me by this point.” She shrugged as they walked out the door of the store. “You know what? All my lies about Bergdorfs? I would actually like my bags to be in that store. I should pursue it, maybe I’ll get a publicist.”

  “Are you giving me the brushoff?” He looked away and asked.

  “Stop,” She placed her hand on his arm, and held him firm, “I’ll always be here for you, okay? No matter what happens. Do you understand?”

  “Like I always tell you, I’m just along for the ride.” He shook free and continued walking.

  “I’m not afraid of my feelings like you are, and I mean it. No matter what happens, I’ll always be here for you. Tell me you understand.”

  “I understand,” He muttered.

  She marched into her home in the early evening. Nick had wanted to go to dinner in Chinatown but she told him she had a headache. Her head did ache but not with pain. It was the whirling thoughts of what she had to do that were troubling her mind.

  She glanced at the time on the cinema screen as she sat down at her computer table. Adam would be home in an hour, more than enough time to make things right. Making dinner for him was not part of her plan. She was sure he would feel as sick to the stomach as she did, a meal would not be wanted or welcome.

  First task, call her daughters and let them know of the lottery winnings. She was sure the news would only be met with excitement and that they wouldn’t ponder her concealment of the newfound fortune. She ran her fingers through her hair, took a deep breath and set up a video chat.

  “Mom,” Anja called out from her bed. She was bundled up under the covers and had dark circles under her eyes, “I have a cold, and it’s so hot out. It’s making it all worse. I wish you were here to make me soup.”

  “Oh sweetheart, I wish I were too. Do you have anyone to take care of you? Bring you juice? You need to keep hydrated and take some Aspirin.”

  “Lolly said she would bring me back soup from the Thai restaurant in town. But she’s taking so long. She did bring me a big bottle of Mango juice from the dining hall before she left.” She reached beside her and held up a half empty bottle.

  She had never liked her daughter’s roommate, Lolly. The girl had multiple facial piercings and a giant tattoo of Aphrodite on her back. Faye suspected that she was overly experimental with drugs too. “That’s nice of her. I’m sure she’ll be back soon—

  “Mom,” Ines suddenly appeared in the chat window, “I’m in a rush. Is everything okay?” She held her phone in a way that Faye could see the background behind her. It looked as if she were walking by a creek, but Faye couldn’t be sure, the image was fuzzy.

  “You’re sister’s not feeling well, and that’s not okay,” She laughed, “But that’s not what I’m calling about.” She paused, dreading the thought of telling them about the money.

  “Okay girls,” She sighed and shook her head for courage, “I’ll get to it… A few months ago, I was out on a walk and…” She paused again, and considered whether or not it was important for the girls to ever know. She didn’t want the money to curse their lives.

  “You were on a walk,” Anja prompted.

  “Yes,” She yelled out as if in great pain, “And I bought a lottery ticket, and won. We have millions of dollars.” She leaned back in the chair, dejected and full of despair.

  The girls began to laugh, very hard.

  “Why are you laughing? It’s not funny.” She asked as a smile broke through her maudlin mood.

  “Only you would say that as if it were the end of the world.” Anja said.

  “Is that why you’ve been acting so strange and buying us so many things?” Ines asked, “Anja and I thought you were having an affair.”

  “What? An affair?” Faye sat up in her chair. She felt as if she were about to throw-up, “ Why would you ever think something like that?”

  “Relax Mom, we know you would never do that. You and Dad have been having the greatest love affair of all time for our entire lives,” Ines said.

  “It was like all of a sudden, you were so pretty again, like when we were little. Does Dad know?” Anja asked through a sneeze.

  “No… I’m telling him tonight. I wanted to get the finances organized before—

  “I know Mom, you didn’t want him to waste it.” Ines said to the great surprise of Faye. She had always tried to keep her financial and marital problems away from her daughters.

  “No that wasn’t it,” she protested, protecting her husband. She shrugged, feeling the futility of the marital loyalty. Her kids weren’t stupid, and she was tired of being dishonest, “Yes, that was it, but don’t think poorly of him. He’s had a hard life in some ways… We all have our —

  “Faults?” Ines asked.

  “No, not a fault. Please don’t speak about your father that way.”

  “I didn’t mean it like that, sorry.” Ines said.

  “Forget all of that,” Anja sat up in her bed as if suddenly feeling well, “What are we going to do with all the money? We’re rich!”

  “Can we go to Croatia this summer? Please, please?” Ines and Anja yelled out simultaneously, and then both spoke so quickly with travel plans that Faye couldn’t hear them anymore.

  “Girls, girls, girls…” She laughed, “We’ll talk about the money when you come home for the summer… I don’t know about Croatia… I don’t think we’ll ever be able to talk your father into going…” She suddenly felt sick with the thought that Adam might leave her over her indiscretion with Nick. She had never considered it before. “I have to return Cassandra’s call before your father comes home. Keep hydrated Anja. I’ll talk to both of you tomorrow. I love you.” She closed the chat window and buried her head in her hands, wishing she could fall into a deep sleep.

  Like the trooper she was at heart, she picked up the phone and called Cassandra, “Hello Cassandra, how are you?” She asked in the calmest tone of voice she was capable of speaking.

  “Faye… Now you take an interest in my life?” She laughed, “You haven’t asked me one question about myself in months.”

  “I’m so sorry,” Faye grimaced into the phone, holding it tightly in her hand.

  “Oh stop… My life is fine, everything is moving along without any bumps. We’re allowed to be a little selfish every now and then if we’re in a friendship for the long haul. So… tell me about your adventures. Your life is more interesting than one of those Latin telenovelas I can never quite understand with only my high school Spanish to decipher them. I do try though…”

  “I have been stuck in my head, running around, chasing my own tail so to speak. I’m so sorry. Have you been seeing anyone? Has work been going well?”

  “Again everything in my life is fine and we’ll catch up as soon as your hurricane-style life dissolves into the sea. Spill, now. What’s going on with you and the boy?”

  “Is that even a proper metaphor? Do hurricanes dissolve in the sea? I thought the ocean is where they built their energy?” She laughed in spite of herself.

  “I have no idea. We live in California. We have earthquakes not hurricanes… Spill, Faye, the boy?”

  “He’s hardly a boy… Okay,” She sighed heavily into the phone, “He broke my heart but now we’re friends again. Unfortunately it’s all coming to an end. Dario saw us together at the Third Street Promenade and issued an ultimatum. I have to tell Adam, and I don’t think I’ll be able to see Nick anymore, or maybe Adam will just leave me.” Her voice caught on every word.

  “Oh Faye, don’t cry. Maybe you and Adam don’t belong together anymore. Your girls are grown… It happens to a lot of couples when the kids go off to college. Not that I think you belong with the boy, but maybe he’s what you needed to break away.”

  “I want to be with Adam. I love him as much now as the day I met him… I just don’t want to lose Nick. We’re only friends now… I really should never have allowed the relationship to progress the way it did… I was the adult.”

  “Why do you need a friend like him? I don’t think you’re being honest with yourself.”

  “I don’t know… I feel like his mother and then as if he’s my high school boyfriend… I don’t want to talk about this anymore. My head hurts from it. I was calling to tell you that I’ve told the girls about the winnings and I’m going to tell Adam as soon as he comes home. I’m going to have to tell him about Nick too. I’m scared he’s going to leave me. I can’t believe the mess I’ve turned my life into…”

  “You were due for a shakeup—

  “Faye,” she heard the front door slam shut, “Where are you? Let’s go out to dinner. I’m craving a steak. Let’s drive into town, go to The Grill.” Adam called out.

  “Adam’s home. I’ll call you later.” Faye quickly and with shaky hands ended the phone call. “I’m in the office, Adam.” She called back to him as the pit of her stomach soured.

  “Sweetheart,” Adam swept into the office and fell to her feet in the way he had been doing for the previous week. “I missed you today,” he took her hands in his and kissed her knees. Faye stiffened.

  “I have to talk to you…” Her voice creaked with a trace of authority.

  “At dinner, I’m starved,” He sat up on his knees and gazed into his wife’s eyes, “Town is too far. Let’s go to Gjelina.”

  “No. Adam,” The thought of ever going to Gjelina again with Adam was too much. The restaurant had become irrevocably tied to Nick in her mind. “There are some things I’ve been keeping from you and you’re not going to like it.”

  “What have you been keeping from me?” he gently laughed to her, “Have you bought a puppy?”

  “No,” She tilted her head in great confusion that her husband had never considered her capable of a mistake. So much faith her had in her. The faith felt crippling. “Not a puppy. I’ve been un— Her voice froze.

  “Unfaithful?” His eyes tore into her, frightening her.

  “That and many other things.” She managed to say.

  “I don’t believe you Faye,” He stood above her, crossing his arms defensively.

  “Believe what you want to believe… This isn’t how I wanted to start this conversation.”

  “You’re trying to hurt me? Make us even with lies?”

  “A few months ago I went for a walk, and impulsively bought a few lottery tickets,” She reached into her desk drawer and retrieved her brokerage account statement and checkbook. “Here,” She handed him the statement and turned away from him to write a check.

  “What?” He stared down at the page in his hands, “This is wonderful Faye. We’re rich.”

  “Well, we’re comfortable for the rest of our lives. I wouldn’t consider us rich by Los Angeles standards.”

  “You won thirty-eight million dollars. We’re rich by anyone’s standards.”

  “No… That was a few months ago… I’ve dispersed it, and here’s your share.” She handed him the hastily written check.

  “I’ve set up trust funds for the girls, bought us a house in Laguna, fully furnished in a style I know you’ll appreciate. Mostly from B&B Italia,” She took a sharp intake of breath and knew the furnishings like the restaurant Gjelina would only ever remind her of Nick forever more. The pain of the constant reminder would be her well-deserved punishment, she thought to herself.

 “250,000 dollars?” Adam asked, “Out of thirty-eight million?”

  “I took the lump sum, taxes took almost a third, and as I said, I dispersed it… to charitable causes. Mostly the homeless. That was your suggestion.” Faye spoke in a flat tone of voice she didn’t recognize.

  “You didn’t want me to waste it… You didn’t trust me.”

  “No…” She protested and instantly saw the folly of her false protestations, “Yes.”

“I’m sorry I went through your father’s money,” He stared directly into her eyes, his face tight, holding back emotion, “Will this make us even now?” He held the check out to her as if it were radioactive.

  “It’s not about being even…”

  “Your father worked his whole life, you save the way your mother did, even though we never needed to live that way.”

  “Of course we needed to live that way. Money is water in your hands.” She sat up high in the chair and spat out at him.

  “You’ve never wanted for anything, ever.”

  “I wanted security. I wanted to know we wouldn’t be a burden to our daughters in our old age.” Her anger surprised her.

  “I would have worked until my dying day to take care of you Faye. I would die before allowing us to be a burden to Anja and Ines.”

  “We’re very different Adam. You’ve been fighting a battle that hasn’t been real since you were a boy. You make things so hard, pushing the extremes.”

  “I won’t argue it, Faye,” He shrugged, drained of his vitality, “I pushed you away and held you close. I’m not blind to myself. I knew what I was doing with those other women. Keeping myself safe, never wanting to get too attached to anyone… Knowing doesn’t help.”

  “You could have spoken to me. You could have gone for counseling. There were many different choices you could have made.”

 “There were, and I’ll make them in the future. You showed me. Lesson learned.”

“I wasn’t trying to teach you a lesson—

 “Well, it’s what you did. But now tell me, are we even? Have you forgiven me?”

  “Adam… I did have an affair. I wasn’t lying about that. And no, none of this was about getting even.”

  “You stuck it to me good, Faye,” He stood up, and smoothed his lined pants, “Are you still having an affair?”

  “It was just one night, but he is my friend.” She looked down at the patterns on the rug, “I don’t want to lose him.”

  “Your friend?” She watched his feet move across the room to her and felt his hand on her chin. He forcefully held her face up towards him, “You don’t want to lose him?” He tore his hand away and banged it on the desk, frightening her.

  “You make me sick Faye. The only reason I’m not leaving you, and when I leave it’s for good, is because I’ve done this to you so many times. It’s a stabbing pain in my chest. You tear my heart out, and I know I deserve it.”