Heartbreak of a Hustler's Wife: A Novel (18 page)

“This is my cousin, Lava.” Lava, sensing they needed a moment alone, said, “If you don’t mind, I gotta get something from the car.”

Mother and daughter quietly stared at each other for a few moments. Angie was the first to burst the bubble of silence surrounding them.

“How do you feel now that you’ve finally met your father?”

The little girl inside of Desember wanted to scream out, “He’s everything I ever wanted!” But instead she said, “I won’t know how I feel until the DNA results come back.”

Angie’s facial features sank a little. “I know I haven’t been completely honest with you in the past, Desember, but you have my word.” Angie looked in Desember’s eyes. “Des is your father. I knew the moment I conceived. This isn’t any bullshit this time.”

If Desember looked deep enough into her mother’s eyes, she would see that Angie never stopped loving Des. “Well, only time will tell,” she said, nonchalantly. Angie had lied about who Desember’s
father was so many times that Desember refused to get her hopes up.

Angie asked, “What’s his wife like?”

Desember thought about the question, and for the first time, her real impression of Yarni came to mind. “I’ll make a deal with you,” she said to her mother. “You tell me about how you and Des met back in the day and I’ll tell you about Yarni, Des’s wife.”

Family Jewels

Yarni walked past Desember’s room and heard a surprising noise coming from the other side of the door. She listened for a second and then she knocked. “Desember?” When the girl didn’t answer, she called out again, “Desember?” After the second time, Yarni let herself into the room. “Honey, are you okay?”

Desember, laying flat on her stomach with her face buried in a pillow, was in tears. “What’s wrong?” Yarni asked.

“Nothing.” Desember raised her head and tried to wipe away her tears but they would not stop falling down her face.

“Well, ‘nothing’ doesn’t cause tears to fall from your eyes uncontrollably, Dee. So tell the B.S. to someone else, not me. We agreed just the other day at my office that we would not bullshit each other, right?” Yarni sincerely wanted to help. Instinctively, like a mother.

She’d made Desember laugh a little. “You wouldn’t understand.”

“You ought to be convinced by now that I was your age before. And I know it sounds cliché, but everything that you did I’ve already done.” Yarni looked at Desember and handed her a tissue. “I made a lot of mistakes growing up too, but from each and every one of them I was able to gather a wealth of information about men, women, life and bullshit in general. Maybe if you let me, I can pass on what I learned.” Yarni took a deep breath. “And who knows, maybe I can learn a thing or two from you too.”

Desember blew her nose, then with another tissue she wiped away her tears. After, she took a deep breath and looked up at Yarni. “Have you ever loved someone so much that you’d risk your life for theirs?”

“Very much so. I married him.”

A few seconds passed as Yarni waited quietly for Desember to continue.

“Please don’t be mad at me, but I snuck down to North Carolina to see Fame.”

“I’m not going to fuss, but you do understand that you can’t go back there. It’s just not safe, Dee.”

“Well, you don’t have to worry because I’m not welcome there anymore,” Desember said, blowing her nose and starting to cry again. “He told me that he robbed the wrong person and it’s just a matter of time before …” The tears were coming so fast now that she couldn’t get the words out, “before …” Desember couldn’t speak through her sobs.

“Take a deep breath; it’s going to be okay,” Yarni said in a
calm, loving tone. She put her arms around Desember. “Deep breath. Come on now, inhale. Another deep breath.”

Desember inhaled and exhaled a few times as Yarni directed and then started speaking again. “He said it’s only a matter of time before they kill him. And that I need to go on with my life and …” She started to sob harder as the words came out, “… to forget I ever knew him. It’s almost like the words he said to me were daggers.”

“I know. I’ve been there before,” Yarni said as she embraced Desember tighter.

“For him to know I love him the way I do and to tell me to get out of his life? I felt like I wanted to just die, like … like I was living that Lauryn Hill song, like he was killing me softly.”

“Yes, I know, baby,” Yarni said with an understanding heart. “Honestly, I faced a very similar situation when Des went to jail.”

“Really?” Desember asked. Hearing stories about Des intrigued her, even though she was feeling down at the moment.

Yarni didn’t hold back. “I was just about around your age, I guess, and he was my world. I had abandoned my mother and my friends, and once he was sentenced I was left to fend for myself. Because he had so much time, he told me to move on with my life and not wait for him. I felt so betrayed by him. The system had already hurt me by putting him in jail and then he was being so cold and callous toward me. I wanted to know how he could tell me something like that.”

“That’s how Fame is acting toward me. He told me to forget all about him. Act like I never knew him. I don’t understand how
he could love me so much one day, and then the next week, he shuts the door in my face. And wants me to walk away.”

“But love isn’t like a faucet: you can’t turn it off and on.”

“You got that right.”

“How could you do that when he’s been your world, right?”

“Yup. You do understand where I’m coming from.” Desember realized that she and Yarni had more in common than she’d thought.

“Nobody ever tells us when we get involved with so-called bad guys about the real dangers, the heartaches and pains that come with being a hustler’s wife.”

Twisting her face, Desember told Yarni that Fame never sold drugs.

“Hustling comes in many forms, Dee. The fundamental differences are if they are legal or illegal: at the end of day, it’s all about getting a dollar.”

“You are right,” Desember agreed.

“People always say don’t get involved with those guys, but nobody ever gives you the real-deal orientation for dealing with them. The bottom line is, we can’t control who we fall in love with. But we absolutely must be aware of the pitfalls and perils that come with being with a street dude. You could get kidnapped or caught up in a case with them or even lose your freedom or your life just for being associated—not to mention the toll it takes on your heart, soul, mind, spirit and sanity. It’s like gambling sometimes: high risk, high reward.”

Desember listened attentively, not interrupting.

Yarni looked in Desember’s eyes as she continued, “Nothing
can really prepare you for the B.S. that comes with life in general, but for street life—there should probably be some kind of mandatory orientation or guide for being a hustler’s wife and dealing with the other women, the jealous people, the police, the greed. All of it is a cancer.” She went on, “The heartaches and heartbreaks of a hustler’s wife can drive you into the crack house or the crazy house, because only the strong can survive. When we deal with these guys, we have to know that this is what comes with the game.”

Desember digested all that Yarni said. It made her look at things in her life in a totally different light. Desember’s wheels were turning in her head. “Wow! That was powerful food for thought. But why do we gamble with our lives?” she asked.

“In life, nothing is free. Eventually you have to pay the piper.” Yarni paused for a second, thinking how the same thing applied to Des’s life. He had done things and now they seemed to be chasing him.

“Dee, I know it hurts, but you should be glad that Fame loves you enough to protect you. Some men are so selfish that they will let you die right beside them on some fake Bonnie and Clyde type stuff.”

They both were quiet when Des entered the room. “What’s going on in here? You girls bonding?” he asked.

“Yup, I’m finding out that Yarni isn’t the wicked stepmother after all,” Desember said, smiling. “She’s giving me priceless heirlooms of wisdom.”

“Oh so she’s your stepmother now?” he questioned.

“A figure of speech,” Desember countered.

Yarni put her arm around Desember’s shoulder, drawing her
close. “You know, it doesn’t really matter what the test says. In my heart you are my baby, and even though we weren’t connected by the umbilical cord, we are connected by heart, and as far as I’m concerned you’re my daughter too.”

Desember gave Yarni a hug. “That made my day. I’m not usually no crybaby, but you making me cry again.”

“I mean it.” Yarni looked into Desember’s eyes and knew in her heart that Desember was Des’s daughter, without a doubt.

“Well, look what the mailman brought.” Des held up the envelope. “Do we even want to know?” he asked. Desember grabbed for it but he pulled it out of her reach. “I mean, we all seem to be getting along as one big happy family.”

“Yes, regardless of what the test says, I believe you belong here with us,” Yarni said, half joking. “But the next time you need to borrow something out of my closet just make sure you ask first.”

Desember agreed, but her focus was on Des, trying to get the valuable information he was holding hostage. She was shaking inside. And she didn’t know if it was because Des might not be her real father, or because he may be.

Des tortured the two ladies for a few more moments before opening the results, and when he did, in a Maury Povich voice he said, “I’m the father.”

Desember started dancing around. “So I guess you got a lot of making up to do, huh, Dad?”

The moment was surreal. They had all known there was a high probability that this day would come, but the reality was enormous.

Yarni had thought she’d lose part of her intimacy with her husband; instead, she’d gained a second daughter … and a friend.

Life would never be the same for Desember. From the only child of a single parent to a big sister, a Daddy’s girl with two moms—winning the lottery wouldn’t have made her feel as excited and happy as she was now. Well, maybe just as happy.

“After things calm down here, I’m going to have my sister throw you a welcome to the family party!”

Des smiled because he knew that Yarni was adjusting to the idea that Desember was now officially a part of their lives. He took it all in. He loved nothing in the world more than family. Love is family, and family is love.

How Dare He?

After the positive results from the DNA test came in, Des, Yarni, Desi, Desember and Joyce all went out to a posh restaurant for a celebratory dinner. Little Desi had a ball, but she couldn’t figure out what all the fuss was about. She already knew Desember was her big sister; they even resembled each other. Grown-ups can make things so complicated at times, she thought.

The next few days breezed by without incident, which was a welcome change from the prior week.

Des was still extra-cautious and made sure the whole family—including Joyce—let him know where they were going to be at all times. Until the identity of the person or persons responsible for the shooting and robbery were discovered, that’s the way it had to be.

Joyce had been the hardest to convince to stick to the script.

“I’m a grown-ass, unmarried woman,” she protested loud and clear. “And my days of reporting my comings and goings to a man are over.”

Des figured she didn’t want him to know how often she frequented the bingo spot. At least that’s where she said she went every Monday, Wednesday, Friday and more often than not, Saturday evenings. Maybe she had a male friend she was keeping a secret, Des wondered. Before leaving the restaurant to head home, Des told his mother, firmly, that it had to be this way until he got to the bottom of things.