Heart of the Matter (23 page)

She withdrew her arm from Joan’s and ignored her momentary twinge of guilt for snapping at her sister.

“You doing all right, Mom?” Ellen hugged her mother tightly.

“Oh, I am now.” Barbara Webster dabbed at her eyes with relief.

“Um, I’d like you to meet my friend Kate, Mom.” Ellen extended her hand, and when Kate grasped it, she pulled her close.

“She and her friend Sergei drove me over here.”

“Thank you so much, Kate. I don’t know what I’d have done without my family near me.”

“It was no problem,” Kate murmured. “I’m just glad Mr. Webster is going to be okay.”

Kate had tried to remain as unobtrusive as possible, standing near the door in case she needed to make a getaway. Hospitals made her exceedingly uncomfortable, and seeing Ellen and her sister in the corner clearly arguing about her hadn’t helped. She was pleasantly surprised to discover that the woman she’d run into leaving Ellen’s place that morning wasn’t another lover. Realizing now that everything was okay and that Ellen didn’t really need her, she excused herself and looked for Sergei.

He was sitting near the vending machines, drinking a Coke and reading or, rather, looking at the pictures in
GQ
, and glanced up when she approached. “How is he?”

“He’ll be fine. I’ve got to call my agent and let him know I’ll miss my flight.”

As expected, when she reached Dean, he wasn’t happy. “You what? Kate, they’re expecting you in the morning.”

“I know, but my friend’s father was more important. Reschedule the meeting and I’ll be there.”

“Maybe I can still get you on a flight out of Dulles tonight. Let me check and I’ll call you back.”

Kate bought a cup of coffee from the machine and sat next to Sergei.

“So that is Ellen,” Sergei said without looking up from his magazine.

“Mmm.”

He glanced up and stared at her until she met his gaze. “What does that mean, ‘Mmm’?”

“It means, yes, that’s Ellen.”

He continued to scrutinize her until finally Kate squirmed in her chair. “What?”

“She is very womanly, unlike those girls I have seen you with before.”

“Yes, Ellen’s not like anyone I’ve met before,” Kate admitted.

“And still you are going to London to pursue this job?” Kate shrugged. “I don’t have much choice. She’s not in love with me.”

Sergei’s face lit up in surprise. “She told you that?”

“Not in so many words, but she wants to play the field, and she did tell me that.”

“Bah.” He waved her comments away. “You cannot believe everything a lover tells you. I saw the way she looked at you in the car. She clung to you the entire time.”

“That was because of your driving, Sergei,” Kate deadpanned.

“I got her here, didn’t I? Seriously, Kate, she looked at you as only a woman in love can look. We Russians know all about love. There is more than the eye meets here—that is a new expression I learned—and I think you should talk to her. Tell her how you feel.” Kate’s cell phone rang.

“I can’t get you out until tomorrow, it’s the best I could do,” Dean said. “I’ve already talked to Tracy at CNN and they’re not happy. They’re on a tight deadline, and rearranging everyone’s schedule to accommodate you isn’t something they needed right now.”

“Did you explain what happened?” Kate asked, slightly irritated.

“Yes. I did. But that’s not their problem, Kate. They need someone in London ASAP, and your friend’s personal issues aren’t their primary concern.”

“Okay, okay, I know. But I couldn’t leave her like that. Tell them I’ll fit in with whatever their schedules are.”

“Just be on that plane tomorrow. United flight 922 leaves at nine twenty-six in the morning.”

❖

It was late by the time they left the hospital. Ellen was able to visit briefly with her father, and then her mother told both her and Joan to go home. They argued for a while as to who should stay, but Barbara absolutely refused to leave, and there wasn’t enough space in the room to accommodate more than one visitor. Eventually Ellen gave in and kissed them both good night.

She walked slowly down the hallway to the public waiting room, where she found Kate and Sergei watching the ten o’clock news.

Seeing Kate with a look of genuine concern on her face warmed and aroused Ellen. Exhausted, she wanted to simply go home, crawl into bed with Kate, and be held. Without thinking or caring, she reached out to her, needing to connect with her, however briefly. The stress of the day was an excuse to do so, but only an excuse.

Kate welcomed Ellen into her arms, almost sighing aloud at the contact. It felt so right to have her there, and she wanted nothing more than to protect Ellen from the day’s sadness. When she opened her eyes, she glanced over Ellen’s shoulder at Sergei, who stood looking at her, a knowing smile on his face. She glared at him.

Reluctantly releasing her hold on Kate, Ellen turned and hugged Sergei. “I don’t know how to thank you.” Sergei dismissed his involvement as minor.

“What about your trip to London?” she asked Kate.

“I have another flight out tomorrow.” Slightly disappointed, Ellen nodded. “I’m glad it worked out.” Sergei smiled. “I’m sure you must be exhausted. Let me drive you both home.”

“Thank you, I am a bit tired,” Ellen admitted.

They returned the way they had come, over the Fourteenth Street Bridge, but this time Sergei drove slowly. Ellen leaned slightly against Kate, and as the car swayed at curves and turns, she eventually laid her head on Kate’s shoulder. She closed her eyes at the comfortable position, and Kate put her arm around her.

Sergei dropped them in front of their building and unloaded Kate’s luggage for her. “Good night,” he called as he opened the driver’s side door.

“Good night, and thank you again.” Ellen waved.

As they stopped in front of Ellen’s front door, she felt awkward, wanting to invite Kate in, yet knowing she had a flight to catch in the morning. The thought of Kate moving to London made her ache all over, but there was nothing she could do, was there? “Well, I guess you should get some sleep. That flight to London is a long one.”

“Yeah,” Kate agreed. “I’m not looking forward to it.”

“You’re not?” Ellen asked hopefully.

“No, I hate flying, particularly into Heathrow.”

“Oh.” Ellen was disappointed, hoping for another reason.

Kate noticed the look of disappointment and wondered at its meaning. Even tired, Ellen was striking, her hair in slight disarray and her eyes puffy from crying. Kate had never seen anyone look more attractive. She leaned close, inhaling Ellen’s fragrance, the smell of her shampoo, and recalled the taste of her skin. Aroused, she had to struggle to keep herself from touching Ellen. The poor woman had been through too much and certainly didn’t need her hitting on her this late.

Ellen saw and felt the nearness of Kate. If she were to shift just inches her breasts would press into Kate’s, and the thought made her tingle. She longed to be touched, longed to feel her skin against Kate’s. She wanted to run her hands up and down Kate’s body and feel it react to her touch. She knew every square inch of Kate, and she wanted to get to know each one all over again. She needed to feel alive again.

The air in the hallway was so thick with tension Kate could almost touch it. Neither had said a word and the silence was deafening. Almost without realizing she was moving, she stroked Ellen’s flawless cheek, which was hot under her fingertips. She traced Ellen’s jaw down to her throat, finding the base and resting her fingers in the notch of her collarbone. She wanted…so much, more than she ever thought possible in a relationship. Could she really give this up for a job? It would be much easier to crawl inside Ellen and shut out the rest of the world and never venture out of the safety of her arms. But what would happen after that? She couldn’t stay there forever, and eventually Ellen would become bored. And she would become bored as well. If she was going to contribute in a meaningful way, she had to go to London—had to know if this job was what she was meant to do. But, God, it was killing her.

Ellen’s heart beat erratically, and her knees trembled. Resting against her door so that it would help hold her up, she tried to regulate her breathing. Kate’s touch electrified her and she had no control over her body’s response.

“I’ll miss you,” she managed to get out. Her eyes filled with tears and she blinked them back. They wouldn’t do any good now.

Kate had made up her mind about London. Ellen’s emotions were scattered in every direction, and she tried to gather them and put them back in their place. The day had been incredibly stressful, and she chalked up her lack of control to the scare over her father’s health. The sudden relief that the event was minor had left her weak and drained. She didn’t know what would have happened if Kate and Sergei hadn’t been there. She was so grateful to have Kate step in and take charge. Kate’s strength had buoyed her. Having Kate in her life completed her.

Kate was unable to speak. She would be gone only a few days, and then she would be back. This wasn’t good-bye, not yet. But why did it feel that way? Was it just her, or did Ellen feel it too? If this was good-bye, she wanted to make the most of it. She pulled Ellen into her and found her lips moist and waiting.

Ellen almost fainted with relief that Kate had finally kissed her.

It was so good, so right. Kate seemed tentative at first, questioning, but within seconds the kiss heated up. Ellen wanted to kiss her as though this was the last kiss she’d ever give, which it just might be.

Tears rained down her face, and she clung to Kate, not wanting to let go.

Out of breath, they finally parted, their foreheads pressed together. Once Kate was able to breathe normally, she released her hold on Ellen and they leaned apart. Ellen brushed her tears away and rubbed a smudge of lipstick from Kate’s cheek.

“I should let you get some sleep. You’ve had quite a day,” Kate murmured.

“And you have a flight in the morning.”

“I’ll call you from London. You know, just to tell you how it’s going.”

Ellen brightened noticeably. “I’d love that, Kate.” Kate nodded, her eyes never leaving Ellen’s face. If Ellen’s day hadn’t been like this, she wouldn’t have been able to stop. She would have swept Ellen into her arms and carried her to bed. But she didn’t.

The cab dropped Kate off in front of Turner House on Great Marlborough Street, CNN’s London headquarters. After checking in at the reception desk, she waited briefly for a young woman who led her up to the executive offices. Kate noticed the receptionist there looking at her, knew she was staring at the scar, and all her insecurities regarding her appearance resurfaced. She loosened the hair tucked behind her left ear and let it fall forward onto her face.

The door to the office directly behind the reception desk opened, and an elegantly tailored and coiffed woman emerged.

Everything about her was perfectly manicured, and she walked as though treading a fashion-show runway.

“Ms. Foster, I’m Tracy Shelbourne, but please call me Tracy.”

Tracy, an executive in the human resources department, was the first person she would meet with that day. “How was your flight?” she asked, leading Kate into her office and to a camel-leather couch.

“Just fine, thank you. Though your prime minister ought to condemn Heathrow as a national disaster.” Tracy laughed. “You wouldn’t be the first to say so, Ms. Foster.”

“Please, call me Kate.”

“All right, Kate. I’d like to run down today’s itinerary. Who you will meet with, their areas of expertise, the editorial staff that would report to you, and so forth.”

During the next eight hours Kate met everyone from the top down. She was grilled by executives, some of whom surreptitiously gazed at her scar when they thought she wasn’t looking. Their curiosity annoyed and embarrassed her, but she guessed it was natural. The scar was rather obvious. But hell, she wasn’t interviewing for an anchor spot, so what did it matter? Some of the staff were engaging and explained their work, while others questioned her decision to leave print journalism for on-air work. They didn’t ask why she was considering behind-the-scenes work. That was obvious.

She revisited the crazy pace of writers, and from the sound booth she observed the afternoon news program, one of the projects she would be working on. While she watched, she took notes on some issues that stood out to her immediately, and along with the thoughts and ideas she had prepared in advance, she knew she could converse reasonably well about the subject when it came up.

By the end of the day, jet lag had begun to take its toll, but she was expected to join Tracy, another executive, and the retiring managing editor for dinner later that evening. They gave her two hours to rest before they picked her up, but when she entered her hotel room, she collapsed onto the bed, sighing at the feel of the down pillows beneath her head. She didn’t dare close her eyes because she knew she would be asleep in two minutes.

She thought of Ellen—where she was and what she was doing.

Ellen had said it was all right to call her, though, and she reached for the phone. Hesitating, she replaced it in its cradle.

Then she retrieved a tiny bottle of Beefeater from the mini-bar and poured it into a cup of ice. Sipping the gin for courage, she picked up the phone again and made the call. After five rings, she was about to hang up.

“Hello?” Ellen panted.

“Hi, Ellen, it’s Kate. Did I catch you at a bad time? You sound out of breath.”

“No, it’s fine. I was on my way out but thought it might be you, and I didn’t want to miss your call.” Just hearing Ellen’s voice made her feel better. “How’s your father?”

“Much better. That’s where I was going.”

“Oh. I’ll let you go. I can call back later.”

“No, now is good. Mom and Joan are there, so he’s not alone. I’ll relieve Joan and hang out with them for a while. How’s it going?” Ellen asked.

“Okay, I guess.” Kate wished she could see Ellen’s face. “It’s too soon to tell. I’ve met with a bunch of people, so many that I forget. I’ve got a respite before dinner, but I’d rather be in jeans and a T-shirt at your place eating pasta and watching a movie. That, plus I’m ready to fall asleep any minute, so the prospect of putting on another suit and forcing a happy look on my face isn’t appealing.”