Heart of Light (8 page)

“Yes. I really think so,” he said, reaching out to wipe the other tears that had fallen.

Jolene immediately tensed up, taking a step back.

Cam noticed her reaction and lowered his hand. “I’m sorry,” he said quietly, trying to figure out what her story was, why she cringed before backing away in fear when he attempted to touch her. “I won’t touch you.”

Jolene let out the breath she didn’t even realize she was holding. She turned around, hiding the terror on her face at the thought of someone touching her uninvited. Every touch reminded her of
him
, and all the other men she had been forced to “entertain”. She could no longer differentiate between a loving, caring touch and an ominous, perverse touch. They felt the same to her.

“You should go,” she said, snapping out of her memories.

Cam nodded his head in defeat. “I’m sorry. I just wanted to do something nice for you,” he explained as he made his way to the front door. Stopping, he turned to stare at her once more, her back still facing him. “To apologize. To prove that I
am
a good person.” He opened the screen door to leave just as he heard a sweet voice.

“Jolene,” she said faintly. She faced him, meeting his eyes once more, the depth there stirring a sense of calm in the storm of her life. “My name’s Jolene.”

Cam’s entire face lit up. “Jolene. Thank you for telling me your name.”

“But, please…” Her demeanor turned from one of calmness to one of desperation. “You can’t tell anyone that you know my name, or that I’m here. No one can know.”

Cam closed the screen door, walking back toward Jolene, respecting her boundaries. “Who’s after you? Is it an ex-boyfriend or husband?” he asked urgently. “We can protect you. Me, and Benny, and the rest of the guys…”

“No,” Jolene said, her voice firm. “You have no idea, and I’d rather keep it that way. Thank you for buying me some groceries. I’d just rather be alone, if you don’t mind. It’s better that way.” She grabbed a bottle of water from the refrigerator and turned away from him, walking up the stairs to the second floor. “And you should stay far away from me,” she murmured, thinking Cam didn’t hear.

But he did.

Shaking his head, he left the beach house. “Easier said than done, Jolene.”

~~~~~~~~~~

C
AM
COULD
NOT
GET
Jolene out of his head the remainder of the afternoon. He tried to focus on a bit of research as he worked from his home office, but it was completely useless. His mind wandered, recalling how much of an ass he had been to her earlier that morning, and how beautiful she was when she gazed off into the distance, deep in thought, thinking no one was looking. But he was. There was a spark about her. And that’s what he was attracted to. Her spirit. Her wit. Her mouth. God, her mouth…

Every time he closed his eyes, her brilliant eyes flashed through his mind, the blue unlike any he had ever seen. He felt a warmth spread through his entire body at the simple thought of being in her presence.

But there was something else about her, too. She was a mystery…a mystery of which he wanted to get to the bottom. He couldn’t believe his luck when she finally told him her real name, but was what she said true? Could her life be in danger if anyone found out who she was or that she was living in that house? Based on her behavior, he had a feeling it was. He wanted to know why she was running. What happened in her past to damage her so badly that she cowered in fear of anyone touching her?

He wanted to go back over there to talk to her. To assure her that he would help her. To let her know that she would be safe. But she said she wanted to be alone and to stay away from her. Could that be true? From the looks of it, she had been alone for a long time.

Cam couldn’t take it anymore. If he couldn’t go talk to her, he needed someone he
could
talk to. Walking briskly out of his Victorian-style house just a few blocks from the downtown Fernandina Beach section of Amelia Island, he hopped in his Lexus and drove to Benny’s place on the south side of the island, hoping that Elsie was home from work. While he enjoyed Benny’s company, he really wanted to talk to his girlfriend to get her take on the mysterious woman who seemed to have captivated him almost instantly.

“Cam!” Elsie said upon opening the door and seeing him standing in the hallway. “Everything okay?” she asked, noticing the frantic look in his eyes.

He took a deep breath. “I’m glad you’re here. I wanted to talk to you.” He pushed past her into the ocean-front penthouse condo.

“Ya know, Benny and I could have been getting it on,” she joked sarcastically, following Cam down the short corridor leading to the spacious living area.

“Were you?” he asked, glancing around the penthouse for any trace of Benny.

“Actually, he’s not home from work yet.” She walked into the gourmet kitchen and opened the wine chiller. “Wine?” she asked, observing Cam’s demeanor as he paced in front of the large floor-to-ceiling windows in the living room. The ocean ten stories below was turning a pinkish hue from the sun setting behind the tall condo building.

He immediately stopped. “Yes. I need something tonight.”

“I figured as much. You almost look like you’ve seen a ghost. But not quite,” she observed, pouring two glasses of Pinot Noir.

“You’d make a great therapist, ya know that, Else?”

She laughed, walking around the kitchen island toward Cam and handing him the glass of wine. “I’m a bartender. I’m
everyone’s
favorite therapist.” She sat down on the luxurious oversized leather couch and indicated for Cam to have a seat, as well. “So, tell me about Tomorrow.”

Exhaling loudly, his gaze met Elsie’s. “She told me her real name.”

“Seriously?”

He nodded slowly, taking a sip of his wine. “There’s something about her, Else. Yes, at first I wanted to strangle that boyfriend of yours for bringing a girl that looked just like
her
back into my life. But the few times I’ve spoken with her today, they are nothing alike. Now, when I look at her, I don’t even see Olivia anymore.”

His voice had a dream-like quality to it and Elsie couldn’t help but smile in response. “You like her, don’t you?”

“I do, but there’s something about her. She’s mysterious and I want to figure out what she’s running from.”

Elsie sighed, the entire situation feeling like the past was about to repeat itself. Again. “Are you sure you like the girl, or do you like her because you see her as someone you can fix?”

Cam turned to face her. “What do you mean? I don’t like her just because I think she needs help.”

“Oh, come off it, Cam.” She rolled her eyes. “Every girl you’re attracted to is messed up in one way or another. That’s what you like. I don’t know if it’s your shrink background or trying to make amends for what happened to your sister, but you only seem to fall for girls that appear to need fixing. Or, at least, need fixing according to
you
. Based on what Benny told me about Tomorrow and what I’ve seen with my own eyes, she’s ninety-nine shades of messed up.”

Cam’s eyes went wide and his expression turned severe. He opened his mouth to defend Jolene, but Elsie cut him off before he could utter another word.

“But she’s sweet, Cam,” she admitted, her voice soft and caring. “And nice. That just seems to be the type of girl you go for…emotionally unstable with a beautiful smile and gorgeous eyes.”

“I am not only attracted to girls with emotional problems.” He stood up, indignant at what Elsie was saying to him. “And don’t even try to say it’s because of Marley.”

Elsie snorted as she took a sip from her wine glass. “Oh really, Casanova? Name me one girl you were attracted to that wasn’t messed up in one way or another.”

He crossed his arms, looking out over the ocean, searching his memory for someone he dated in recent history who was relatively normal. Long moments passed and he came up empty.

“See? You have a type, Cam.” Elsie got up from the couch and walked over to the windows. Standing next to him, she placed her hand affectionately on his shoulder.

He met her eyes, her expression full of understanding.

“You know I love you. And I admire the fact that you love helping people so much that you seem to be attracted to women who are, in a way, lost. But is it healthy for you?” Her eyes searched his. “Today, right now, I see the old Cam again…the Cam that’s been missing from all of our lives since you met Olivia and pushed her back into the arms of the man she was in love with. I’m thrilled that you’re back and I’m definitely grateful that Tomorrow’s had this effect on you. I’m just worried that if you fall for her and it all goes to shit, you won’t come back to us next time.”

“But there’s something about her, Else,” he declared passionately. “I’ve never felt this strongly about someone before. Even Olivia. I didn’t have this feeling toward her.”

“Cam, you just met her! How can you be certain that you actually feel this way toward her and it’s not simply because you’re…horny?” She shrugged, unable to find a better way of putting it.

He laughed a little in response before his expression turned serious once more. He wanted Elsie to know exactly how deeply he felt for Jolene in the short time since she had walked into his life.

“Elsie, I went in the house.”

Her eyes grew wide and her jaw dropped. “When?”

“Today. When she was visiting you. I felt so guilty for the way I had treated her when I first met her and I wanted to prove that I’m not an asshole. So I went to the grocery store and stocked the kitchen for her. At first, I thought I wouldn’t be able to stand being in that house, surrounded by the constant memories of everything that happened. But when I stepped inside, I didn’t feel Olivia. I felt Tomorrow… Her soul. It’s there in that house, even after just one night. Ever since looking into her eyes this morning, I’ve barely thought about anything else. Maybe it’s fate that Benny put up the house for rent without my permission. Maybe Tomorrow was brought into all of our lives for a reason. Maybe she’s exactly what I need to finally move on, like you’ve all been wanting me to.”

Elsie sighed. “You know I’m a strong believer in fate, but I just don’t want to see you get hurt again.”

They both stood silently, watching the last of the daylight disappear behind the tall building.

“You really know how to pick ‘em,” she joked, punching Cam playfully in the shoulder before heading to the kitchen with her empty wine glass, grabbing her purse and keys off the kitchen island.

“Wait. Where are you going?” Cam asked.

“I’m taking your new love interest out for a night on the town. Get to know her a little bit more. Someone’s got to make sure she’s good enough for you, and it should probably be me.”

He took several deliberate steps toward Elsie. “She said she just wanted to be alone.”

She laughed, shaking her head in disbelief. “Yeah. That was girl-code for ‘get the fuck out of my house’. She just didn’t want to be around
you
, which is understandable based on how Benny said you acted toward her this morning. I’m going over there and I’m dragging her out. If you’re really serious about this girl, you better turn on the charm, Casanova. You made a horrible first impression, and you’re going to have to pay for that.”

J
OLENE
WAS
RELAXING
IN
the beach house, enjoying the gentle ocean breeze as it blew through her temporary home, when she heard a soft knock on the front door. Her heart thumped in her chest and her adrenaline momentarily spiked before she reminded herself that if
he
had found out where she was living, he most certainly would not knock.

She got off the couch and padded to the door, smiling when she saw Elsie standing on her front deck.

“Hey, Tomorrow. Heard you told Cam your real name,” she said, walking past her and making herself at home on the couch in the living room.

Jolene couldn’t believe how forward Elsie was, but it didn’t bother her. She actually liked the thought of her being there. “Yeah. It was a moment of weakness,” she admitted, sitting down on the reading chair opposite her. “Or temporary insanity. You pick.”

Elsie laughed in response, a friendly smile crossing her face. “Don’t worry. He didn’t tell me, but I didn’t ask, either. Figured you’d tell me if you really wanted me to know.”

Jolene sighed, looking into Elsie’s brown eyes. “It’s not that. I
want
to tell you, but I can’t.”

Elsie held up her hand. “Listen, you don’t have to tell me anything you don’t want to. I get it. But if you ever want to talk, I’m your girl.” She winked. “Now, go get changed. We’re going out drinking. You drink, right?”

“I’m not a huge drinker, but I guess it’s never too late to start.”

“You got that right. I’ll wait here. I’m taking you out for a night on the town. Girls’ night.”

“But it’s Monday.”

“Yes. It’s Monday, but it’s also summer. Downtown is going to be hopping with people on the island for vacation. We’ll go find us some hotties to wink at and drool over us. And, hopefully, help you forget about whatever it is you’re running from, even if for just a few hours.”

Jolene opened her mouth to protest before shutting it quickly, knowing that Elsie was right. She needed this. She needed a normal night out. She had never been to a bar with a girlfriend where she could just relax and gossip. Hell, she had never even been to a bar before, aside from the one in the poker room of the hotel.

For the first time she could remember, her life was becoming somewhat normal. It was what she wanted for so long. So, instead of turning Elsie away and making up some excuse for not going, Jolene dragged herself upstairs and found a pair of jeans and a halter tank top to change into.
 

She tamed her wavy brown hair with a touch of gel, attempting to settle it down despite the Florida humidity. Putting a hint of blush on her cheeks and a bit of liner around her vibrant eyes, she double-checked her reflection in the mirror. She could barely recognize the person staring back at her. She had become so accustomed to the blonde-haired, heavily made up girl she was forced to be the past decade. The dark-haired woman in the mirror now looked nothing like who she felt she still was.