Heart of Courage (24 page)

“You are not saying I should have agreed to wed her?”

“Of course I am!” She knelt in front of him, reached out and took hold of his hand. Hers felt warm while his was icy cold, just like the lump inside his chest that was his heart.

“I know you love her,” Krista said. “And because you do, you will find a way to make her happy.”

For an instant, hope stirred inside him. Could it work between them? Could he truly make her happy? That hope quickly faded. Lindsey needed a gentleman, a man of her own social class.

“Have you thought what might happen if I got her with child? The potion she took kept her safe, but if we were married, sooner or later my seed would take root in her belly.”

“So…?”

“Lindsey is too slight to bear the babe of a man my size.”

Krista scoffed. “Don't be ridiculous. A woman's body grows to accommodate the child inside her. And if you haven't noticed, Lindsey has nice womanly hips, not so narrow as to be a problem. Besides, those are decisions God makes, not you.”

He felt a moment of relief. At least his lovemaking had not put her in danger.

“I hurt her,” he said. “I could not think of another way.”

“Well, I can. You can go to her, tell her you didn't mean those awful things you said. Tell her you love her and want to marry her.”

He looked up at her, wishing he could, knowing he could not. “I must do what I think is best for Lindsey. I am not the man for her.”

“She's your life-mate! She belongs to you! Do you deny it?”

Thor said nothing.

Krista made a sound of frustration, turned away from him and headed for the door. “Think about what I've said. And don't wait too long. She thinks you don't want her. I believe she will marry whichever man her parents choose.” She jerked open the door. “One of them is Stephen Camden. Perhaps you think he will make her happier than you can.” Krista slammed the door behind her, leaving him alone in his misery.

Camden.

He knew Lindsey would never marry a man who might be a murderer, a man known for his cruelty to women. Still, the point was well made. Who could say which man would make Lindsey happy? The only one he could be sure would try his very best was him.

But even if he wanted to undo the mess he had made, he could not.

He knew his woman well. After the things he had said and the way he had hurt her, Lindsey would never trust him again. And she would never forgive him.

P
leading ill health, Lindsey stayed home from work—as she had done yesterday and the day before.

Worried about her, Krista had stopped by that first day and the whole ugly tale had spilled out.

“I thought…I thought he would want to marry me,” Lindsey had told her, swallowing past a lump of tears. “God, I was such a fool.”

“He loves you, Lindsey, no matter what he said. He just doesn't believe a marriage between you would work.”

“You didn't see his face. H-he…he needs other women to make him happy. That is what he told me. And Thor doesn't lie.”

Krista hadn't pressed the issue. There was no use discussing a matter that wasn't going to change.

Thor wasn't going to marry her.

Instead, her mother was pressing her to make a choice from among the men on her list.

A knock on Lindsey's door signaled her mother's return again this morning. She smiled as she floated toward the bed. “How are you feeling, dearest?”

Lindsey glanced guiltily away. She was being a coward and she knew it. Still, she wasn't ready to leave the sanctuary of her bedroom. “I'm sure I will be fine in another few days.”

Her mother rested a hand on her forehead, checking for fever. “You don't feel hot.”

“I told you I will be fine. It is probably just a mild ague of some kind.”

Instead of leaving, her mother sat down in the chair beside her bed. “You've been home for the past several days. Have you given the matter of your marriage any more thought?”

Lindsey shrugged. Now that she understood Thor's true feelings, she no longer cared whom she wed. “I'm leaning toward Lieutenant Harvey. He seems a nice enough fellow.”

Her mother's eyes widened with glee. “Indeed! I think the handsome lieutenant would make an excellent choice. You would make a lovely couple. Your father and I were both quite impressed with the man.”

Lindsey's chest squeezed, began to feel leaden. “I need to get to know him, Mother. I need to spend time with the lieutenant before I can be sure.”

“Of course, dearest—that goes without saying.”

“Unfortunately, at the moment, I am simply not feeling well enough to go out in society.”

Her mother smiled and patted her cheek. “Of course not. We won't make any plans until you are completely recovered. Lieutenant Harvey must see you at your very best.” With a triumphant smile, her mother left the bedroom, so thrilled at the prospect of Lindsey finally agreeing to marry, she was willing, for the moment, to let the matter rest.

Lindsey was grateful. She was ready to get on with her life, but she was still wounded, her heart still painfully sore. In time, she would be able to get past the awful blow Thor had dealt her, but not yet.

Not yet.

She tried to hate him for what he had done, but since she was the one who had started the affair, the one who had always pressed him to continue—it would hardly be fair. When she thought of those times, shame engulfed her. She had behaved like a wanton. She remembered the women at the Red Door. No wonder Thor had been attracted to her. He was a man who enjoyed his whores.

Lying in bed, Lindsey told herself she had cried enough, but when Kitty set a tray of chocolate and biscuits down on the beside table and quietly left the room, Lindsey's heart seemed to shatter all over again.

She turned and wept into her pillow.

 

Thor knocked on the door of the large, slate-roofed manor house at the edge of the village of Westerly. He had ridden the stallion hard to get there. He wanted his stock certificates returned. He wanted this business over and done.

He rapped again and a doddering old man pulled open the door. The butler leaned toward him, staring at him through the quizzing glass he held up to a rheumy old eye.

“May I help you?”

“I am here to see Silas Wilkins.”

A bushy gray eyebrow arched up. “Mr. Wilkins is working in his study. Whom may I say is calling?”

“Thorolf Draugr, but I will tell him myself.” Thor brushed past the old man, careful not to knock him over as he walked into the entry. “Which way?” he asked.

Staring at him in amazement, the butler pointed a bony finger down the hall.

“Thank you.” Thor strode off in that direction, looking into several rooms before he reached the study. The door was open. Wilkins sat behind a big oak desk. His eyes widened in shock at the sight of Thor striding toward him.

“Wh-what are you doing here?”

“I came for my money. I want it now.”

“I—I told you…the stock you bought is—”

Wilkins squealed like a pig when Thor leaned over, grabbed hold of the lapels of his coat, and jerked him halfway across the desk.

“You stole my certificates and we both know it. I want them back.” He shook the man, then released his hold, strode round the desk and leaned over Wilkins's chair. “They are here, are they not? You would not have left them in London.”

“But…but I did! They are in my office safe. We'll have to go back there and get them.”

“So you admit to stealing them.”

“No, of course not, but—”

Thor wrapped a hand around the man's skinny neck and lifted him out of his chair. “I want to hear you say it. Tell me the truth.”

Wilkins sputtered and tried to speak, but the words came out hoarse with Thor's fingers gripping his throat. “Let me…go!” He gagged and tried to break free, but there wasn't the slightest chance.

“The truth!”

“All right…I—I paid…paid a man to take them.”

Thor slammed him back down in his seat but didn't let go. “And if you wish to live, you will give them back. Now.”

Wilkins nodded, his neck bent back as he stared into Thor's angry face. “Let…me…go and I will…get…them for you.”

Thor released his hold and Wilkins sat there panting. When Thor moved toward him again, he scrambled out of his chair and backed away. Shaking all over, he turned round and reached for a painting that hung on the oak-paneled wall behind his desk. He lifted it off to reveal a hidden safe.

“Open it.”

“Yes, yes…all right, I'll open it. But before you do anything rash, perhaps there is a way we could both—”

“No more talk. Open the safe and give me back what belongs to me.”

Wilkins's watery blue eyes darted around the room in search of help, but it was clear his butler, the ancient old man, was the only help available and even that would not be forthcoming. He turned and opened the safe, took out a pile of stock certificates and set them on the desktop.

“I'll have you arrested for this. No one will believe your story. The police will come after you.”

Thor ignored him, checked the certificates to be sure they were the correct ones, counted out a large stack—the number he had purchased—and shoved the remaining few back across the desk.

“You will not involve the police. If you do, they will investigate. If you stole from me, you stole from others.

Unless you wish to spend the rest of your miserable life in prison, you will say nothing.”

Wilkins opened his mouth to argue, but only a sputtering sound came out. On shaking legs, he sank weakly back down in his chair.

Thor stalked out of the house, slamming the front door behind him. Tied to the rail out in the yard, Saber's head came up at Thor's approach. The stallion nickered a greeting as Thor stuffed the certificates in his saddlebags, took the reins and vaulted into the saddle.

“Time to go home, my friend,” he said, leaning down to pat the animal's shiny black neck. He whirled the stallion and started back to London at a much more leisurely pace, his mission completed, the stock certificates riding safely behind him.

He had achieved his goal, secured his future. But nothing seemed able to fill the hollow place in his heart.

 

It was dark by the time Thor reached London. He returned Saber to the stable near Green Park, leaving him in the care of young Tommy Booker. The stallion nickered softly as the boy took the reins, fond of the gangly blond youth.

“Give him an extra ration of oats,” Thor instructed, “and see he's well rubbed down before you put him away.”

“Aye, sir.”

Thor left the stable. Hailing a carriage at the corner, he headed straight for his brother's town house. It was late to be calling, but lamps still burned inside, glowing through the windows of the three-story brick residence. Both Leif and Krista were home, the butler told him as he led Thor along the hall toward the family sitting room.

He caught sight of Krista on the sofa, cuddling his nephew, little Brandon Thomas; then he spotted Leif, who came out of the chair where he had been reading.

“Good evening, brother.” Leif smiled. “What brings you here at this time of night?”

Thor walked over to the sofa and looked down at the baby in his sister-in-law's arms, a robust, towheaded child who was certain to be the image of his father.

“How is my nephew?” he asked, fighting to ignore a pang of longing.

Krista flicked him a glance. “He is well, though he certainly has a good set of lungs.” But he was fast asleep at the moment. She rose from the sofa, gave Thor a brief look at the blanket-wrapped child, then carried the babe over to his nurse, a young woman with big green eyes and dark hair who stood in the doorway.

“We'll be up to check on him before we go to bed,” Krista told her, kissing the baby's cheek.

The young woman nodded and disappeared down the hall, and Thor turned back to Leif.

“I just got back from the country. I paid a visit to Silas Wilkins. I retrieved the stock certificates he stole from me.”

“You got them back?” Krista said. “You make it sound easy, but I don't imagine it was. How did you do it?”

“
Honing,
you don't want to know,” Leif said.
Honing
was the word for honey in Old Norse, and a warm look passed between them.

“Why don't we all sit down?” Krista suggested. “Would you like a brandy, Thor, or perhaps something else?”

He merely shook his head. Crossing to the sofa, he sank down wearily. “It was a tiring journey.”

“Even so,” Leif said, “I'm glad you stopped by. After our last conversation, I did some checking. You say you've got your stock back, the certificates you originally purchased?”

“Aye.”

“Do you have any idea what those certificates are worth?”

Thor released a breath. “Enough to buy a place in the country, I am hoping.”

Leif grinned. “You're a wealthy man, brother. Those stocks doubled and split, then split and doubled again. They're worth a hundred times what you paid for them. Add to that your interest in Valhalla Shipping, and your finances are in extremely good condition.”

Krista smiled. “Your future is secure, Thor.”

“That is good news, I suppose.”

“It is very good news,” Krista said. “It means—if you chose to do so—you could marry Lindsey.”

His heart jerked. Since the moment he had retrieved his stock, wedding with Lindsey was all he could think of. Now that Leif had discovered their worth, he knew he could take care of her, give her the things she deserved. And yet it was not enough.

He studied the swirls in the Persian carpet at his feet. “You say I have plenty of money. I can provide for her, but that is not enough. I am no gentleman and that is what Lindsey needs.”

“You could learn,” Leif said gently.

“It isn't really so hard,” Krista added. “And if you truly love her, the price would be worth it.”

He stared at his two best friends, a ray of hope expanding in his chest. “Do you truly believe I could do it?”

“My father taught you the basics,” Krista reminded him. “You already know most of what you need, and I could teach you the rest.”

Sir Paxton Hart had taught him a good deal, enough to move about comfortably in this country he now called home. In exchange for his help, the professor had bargained with Leif to be taken to Draugr Island. He was there now, studying the people and the Viking way of life. Sir Paxton would remain a year before Leif returned to pick him up and bring him back to London. Thor inwardly smiled to think of the professor trying to turn his sister, Runa, into a lady.

He looked over at Krista. “For me to become a gentleman…how long would it take?”

Krista glanced at Leif, who cast her a knowing look in return. “We would have to work fast. Lindsey's mother is pressing her hard. If you're serious about this, we could start first thing in the morning.”

Thor glanced away. “Even if I am able to learn what is needed, there is another problem.”

“Which is…?” Leif asked.