Hear Me When the Sun Goes Down (31 page)

I nodded off, jerking awake as my head slipped out of my hands to look down at the list, my eyes blurred with tears from the sun streaming in through the tiny basement windows.  Jumping up with a hiss, I shut the black out shades, relishing the cool darkness. 

I had to get to bed before I conked out again on the floor, but I passed by my writing desk on the way, glancing down at the list there.  “Bishop,” I sighed, fingers tracing over that single word with a sense of longing and loss. 

What was I doing?  Love wasn’t a dreamy sigh,
and it was more than a wish for what once was.  It was in every stolen glance I shared with Rob.  I loved Rob.  Not the dream of what could’ve been with Bishop and the thrill of having him chase after me for once instead of the other way around.  Love was the reality of the man sleeping in the room next to mine.  The man who’d risked everything for me time and again without asking for a single thing in return.  All of a sudden it got a whole lot simpler, like Laveda said.

Part of me would always love Bishop, but I was in love with Rob. 

I had to tell him.  Never mind that he’d said he didn’t want to hear me say the words, I needed him to know it was more than an infatuation for me.  That he was worth the risk. 

It took some finagling, but I managed to get the whole gang out of the house for the night, buying us all tickets to the ballet and then crying off at the last minute for an important meeting with Faust over Skype.  Since I was planning on staying inside, I sent most of the security force with them, leaving only a few guards patrolling outside. 

I pulled out all the stops.  I set the TV to one of my favorite stations on Pandora, with soft swing music from the forties, knowing Rob was partial to that era.  Now that I had my dining room back again, I set up an intimate candlelight dinner for Rob and me.  Okay, so the food was for him and the wine was for me, but it made me happy to set out the good china for the both of us.  Almost like a real date. 

Thanks to the blackout curtains, we had about as much privacy as could be had in the house while surrounded by armed guards. 

“What’s all this then?” Rob asked when he came into the dining room. 

“This, is my way of making it up to you for missing the ballet.”

“Wouldn’t say I was missing it all that much,” he said, the dubious look on his face, making me laugh. 

“Alright then, this is my way of making it up to you for missing everything since we got back.”

“Look at you, making plans,” he smiled, pulling me close, careful to keep out of sight of either door, in case we had an unexpected return by any in the household.  “Are you trying to seduce me, miss?”

“Why, is it working?”  I flashed him an impish grin, in an impossibly good mood. 

“Too right.” 
Rob reached up to frame my face with his hands, thumbs stroking alongside my jaw.  “Hullo,” he said gently.

“Hi,” I whispered, tipping my mouth up to his.  Instead of meeting them for a kiss, his lips feathered across my cheek and I held absolutely still, waiting to see what he’d do next. 

“So soft…” he breathed, lips brushing against the corner of my mouth.  “And sweet.”  His lips parted to taste mine, drawing my lower lip into his mouth.  “Won’t be wanting anything else for supper.”

“We can save it for after,” I nodded, no longer able to keep still with him right there for the taking.  

The phone rang, not the house phone, but my cell phone, which only a few people knew the number to.  “Hold that thought for half a sec,” I smiled, wriggling out of his arms long enough to pick it up off the buffet table.  Before I could even see the number I saw the picture and my heart sank. 

Jakob.

Briefly, I toyed with the idea of not answering it.  Of holing up in my house and doing whatever I damn well pleased for a change, but fear of what he’d do had me pushing the green button, injecting a note of false cheer into my voice. 

“Hi, Jakob.  What’s up?”

“I’ll be by to pick you up within the hour,” he said without preamble.  “Make yourself ready for me.”

I closed my eyes, biting back the urge to tell him to shove it.  “I can’t
, I already have plans.”

“Change them.”  His tone told me there would be no arguing the point.  “I’ll see you soon, petal.”  The line clicked off before I could get in another word and I threw my phone across the room hard enough to smash it into satisfyingly small bits.   

“Goddamn it, I would like one break.  Just one!” I howled, still at the peak of my tantrum. 

Rob knelt to pick up the electronic remnants.  “I’ll get you another phone while you’re with him,” he said stoically. 

“No, I’m not doing it.” I paced the length of the room, my hands flapping in agitation.  “I’m not going out with him.  He can show up here all he wants, but I’m not jumping because he snaps his fingers.” 

“You know you have to.  It’s a night like any other, like as not he’ll spend half the night ignoring you anyway.” 

“You don’t get it.  This was supposed to be our evening alone together.  Yours and mine.  It was supposed to be special.”

Rob straightened, his strong arms closing around me.  “It was,” he said into my hair.  “Just wasn’t nearly long enough is all.” 

I pressed my face into his neck, trying to draw comfort in the steady beat of his heart.  “I don’t know how much longer I can keep doing this.  I didn’t agree to be his slave.”

“We’ve little choice in the matter.”

“What if we leave here?” I asked, pulling back to look at him.  “What if we run away?”

Rob hardly paused before he answered, not even considering it.  “He’d find us.  Find my sister, your family…”

“Not if he didn’t know we were running away –
together
, together.  He could think I freaked out and ran away and you stayed by my side to protect me, like you always do.”

He was already shaking his head.  “He’d expect me to report to him.  When I didn’t it’d be a confirmation I was in on it with you.  And what about your post as Elder?  Your responsibilities?”

“I put things in motion, there’s real change happening whether I’m here to direct it or not.  The council, Bishop, they’ve got the basic blocks they need to build something new and strong.  I’ll always have the satisfaction of knowing I did that, whether I’m here to see it or not.” 

“But to leave everything behind…”

“I can’t keep doing this,” my voice broke and I dragged in a ragged breath, finding it harder and harder to breathe.  “I can’t keep pretending to be his when I’m in love with you.”  There, I’d said it.  Rob didn’t respond though, he stared at me, his expression unchanging.  “Did you hear what I said?”

“I’m not sure.”
He blinked rapidly, his head canting to one side.  “It sounded like you said…”

“I love you,” I repeated, my heart sinking at the furrow of pain that brought to his brow. 

“Anja, I can’t be what you need,” he started to protest, but I cut him off.

“You’re
everything
I need.  And I want a chance at a life with you.  Is that something you want too?  Tell me now if I’m off base here, because I thought that was something we both wanted.”

Rob’s eyes clenched tight, his jaw working and for a second
, I thought he was searching for a way to tell me I wasn’t worth the trouble.  But when they opened again, they were filled with equal parts hope and despair.  “I want that too, more than anything in this world.  But I can’t risk you or Leila…”  He shook his head.

“She knew we’d come to this,” I realized suddenly.  “Don’t you remember?  What did she say?  Something about not worrying about her – when the time came, trouble wouldn’t be coming after her.  Don’t you see?  She saw this coming, she knew we’d be at a crossroads and she wanted us to take the plunge.”

Rob was silent, but I could see him thinking his way through it methodically.  “I’m not saying yes, and I’m not saying no.  This kind of thing ain’t the sort you should rush into, careful planning needs to happen.” 

“I can do that, I’m a great planner,” I chimed in, doing a happy dance on the inside that he was even considering it. 

“Don’t do anything yet, alright?  Let me figure this out.  Might could find a way to work it.”

“We can make it work, I know we can,” I whispered fervently, giving him a last, desperate kiss.  “I’d better go hop into a quick shower and get ready for him.  He can tell if I’ve been getting all tingly over you.”  I rolled my eyes.  “We’ll come back to this though, tonight when I get back?  Maggie and those guys should be gone for hours.”

“Will they now?”  He raised a single brow.

“Hours,” I promised with a smile.  Suddenly the prospect of seeing Jakob didn’t seem so bad when I had something to look forward to. 

* * *

I’m such an idiot. 

It didn’t start out well.  Jakob waved Rob off when he offered to drive for us, telling him he had things in hand with a smarmy look. 
Eewh
. 

As soon as we got into the limo, he cornered me, a gleam in his eye.  “Did you think I wouldn’t find out?” he demanded, sending me into a cold sweat as I scrambled to figure out what he could possibly mean by that.  Whatever it was, it couldn’t be good.

“What?”

“Where you disappeared to when you took Amunet hunting.  My Anja has a taste for rough trade,” he chuckled, and I breathed an inward sigh of relief. 

“Not exactly, I thought it would appeal to her.”

“And yet you knew exactly where to take her.”  I opened my mouth to explain, but he waved me away.  “Don’t worry, I don’t mind at all.  In fact, I find it a delicious addition to what I’ve come to expect for you, beloved.  Would you like a taste of something rough tonight?”

So he was turned on by the fact that I’d taken Amunet to a dive bar?  Cool beans.  “Couldn’t we go somewhere for a drink instead?”

“Indeed,” he smiled, patting my knee. 

Only the limo didn’t go to one of the clubs as I’d grown accustomed to, instead it pulled up right in front of his place.

“I thought we were going out for a drink?”

“I will see to your needs, petal.  Tonight you will take my blood.”

Alarms started pealing in my head like mad.  “Thanks, but I’m good.  I don’t need to feed.”

“Come upstairs, unless you prefer to do this here in the car?”  His smile stretched wider.  “As I recall it, you have tasted my blood in a vehicle such as this before.  I would certainly be open to a return to such intimacy.” 

There was no way on Earth I’d end up having sex with him in the back of a limo again.  No frigging way.  “No, we can go inside,” I said, reaching for the door handle.  I had no intention of drinking his blood that night, and I needed a few minutes to figure out how to get out of it. 

Once we were alone and I felt like I could speak more freely, I turned to him – with a couch safely between us.  “How come you’re so big on me taking your blood tonight?  We never talked about this in our original deal.”

“Because I wish it, and because you need the strength.”

I hadn’t expected him to say that.  “Why?  I’m fine.” 

“I would have you as strong as possible,
petal.”  He poured us each a drink and came around the couch, eliminating the barrier between us.  “And I am not asking.  It is for your own protection.” 

Something was definitely up.  “Answer something for me,” I said, accepting the glass, but not drinking.  “Why are you so gung ho on protecting me?”

“That’s a silly question.”

“I don’t think so.  I think it’s pretty appropriate.”

“Because I love you,
älskling
.”

“Okay, I get that, but why the need for so much precaution?  It’s not enough that I have Rob and Gunnar stuck to me like glue every waking moment, I have to have an entire regiment of guards around me whenever I show my face in public?  I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I can actually defend myself.  I took out Angel in a fair fight, and I’ve even dropped Bishop and Rob a time or two.”

Jakob’s expression darkened as he stared into the bottom of his glass.  “There are some dangers you know nothing of.”

“So tell me about them,” I pleaded, taking the glass out of his hands and setting them both down.  “If there is some big bad out there waiting in the shadows, ignorance only gives it power.” 

For a split second I thought he might actually tell me what had him acting so crazed, but then his stubbornness kicked in with a vengeance.  “Enough.  You will have my blood now,” he said, grabbing my shoulders roughly and tumbling me onto the couch.

I pushed back with all of my strength, but it didn’t so much as budge him an inch as he pulled me close.  “Jakob, I really don’t want to do this.” 

“Leave off the pretty protests, you will do this for me.”

“Fine, then put some of your blood into a cup and I’ll drink it, but I’m not feeding from you directly.”

Jakob set me onto his lap and then stopped to look at me.  “What is it that troubles you in this?”

“I don’t want to um, you know… I’m not ready to take our relationship to the next level yet.”

“You may find that changing once you taste my blood,” he smiled.

That’s exactly what I was afraid of.  “Jakob, please, I don’t think I can do this.”

His blue eyes met mine and I felt the magnitude of his power.  “You can, and you will.”

Robbed of my free will, I nodded, in a daze as I unbuttoned his shirt, folding the fabric away from his neck
.  My fangs descended, the urge to bite him overpowering any feeble protests that cowered in the back of my mind and I lunged for his throat.  His pure essence burst against my palate in a rush of hot blood, my throat working to keep up with the rhythm of his heart that pumped madly. 

It wasn’t enough.  I wanted everything he had to give and more.  My hands wandered as I drank, sliding against bare skin, desperate for more contact.  Jakob’s arms bound me to him, his head thrown back in ecstasy as I drank and drank.  His blood made me dizzy and reckless.  It filled me with power as I straddled him, more power than I had a right to feel.   Jakob held me under his sway, but just as surely I held him under mine.  With a rasp of nails and a pivot of my hips I made him shudder with delight and his hands started to roam, intent on giving me the same pleasure.