Hear Me When the Sun Goes Down (19 page)

“Really?  ‘Cause I’m pretty sure they thought they were coming to a mixer tonight.  The biggest danger should’ve been high cholesterol from hot cheese.”

Rob acknowledged that with a short nod, inching closer still, his voice pitched low.  “Alls I’m saying is choose your battles carefully.  Making a scene here and embarrassing him ain’t the right way to go about it.”

“Oh, I’m not through with this battle, not by a long shot,” I vowed in a fevered whisper.  Jakob would get an earful before the night was through.  

“Hot damn, that was something special, wasn’t it?”  Felix made his way through the part in the curtains to find me. 

“It was something alright,” I grumbled, more than a little annoyed by his giddy mood.

“What’s the matter, didn’t you enjoy the show?”

“Is that all it was to you?  A show?”

“Yeah, in a manner of speaking, a show of power.”

“Jakob completely hijacked my inauguration.  That was supposed to be
my
blood they tasted tonight as a symbol of my leadership.” 

“
Right… but he’s the top dog.  We all owe allegiance to him first.” 

“And don’t even get me started about the people he killed,” I snapped, and Felix held his hands up, recovering his grin.

“Don’t sweat it, boss, I’m already on top of it.  The bodies are being taken care of as we speak.”

“Really not what I meant, Felix.”  I had to clench my hands into tight fists to fight the urge to hit something. 
Many somethings.  I shook my hands out, trying to let go of the anger and tension before I did something rash. 

Felix noticed my strange behavior
and I could feel him staring at me, trying to think up something to say next, when he remembered what he’d come back to do.  “Oh, here’s your ring back.  Sorry we didn’t get to present it to you.  Gee, is that what’s got you so sore?” he asked with the sudden realization.

“Yes, Felix, that’s exactly why I’m feeling peeved at the moment,” I said in a complete monotone.  “There’s nothing that bugs me more than a missed presentation.” 

Felix swallowed uncomfortably in the face of my bizarre behavior by his standards.  He backed away to the stage entrance, watching me warily.  “I’ll go see to the um… whatever.”

“
Uh huh, you go do that,” I ground out, my anger targeting the boneheaded vamp in front of me until he’d retreated to a safe distance.  “Do you believe that guy?  None of them have a clue as to what’s wrong about tonight’s spectacle.” 

Rob laid a single hand on my arm.  “Calm down, miss.  No need to get your knickers in a knot.”

“I’ll have knotted knickers if I want to,” I snapped irritably.  He smirked at that, and I bit back my own smile, not wanting to give into it.  But the simple touch had the desired effect and I could feel some of my anger seeping away.  “This is a disaster, Rob.  How can I begin my term in office with a start like this?”

“I ain’t so sure that’s what’s been started tonight.”

My voice dropped to a whisper, even though I was fairly certain no one gave a rat’s behind what we were talking about.  “Do you think Jakob means to take over the West?”

Rob’s lips compressed into a tight line as he considered the question, worry deeply etching his features.  “All things are possible through his blood.”

“That’s exactly what I’m afraid of.”

“I think that went swimmingly well, don’t you?”  Jakob laid back against the plush, leather seat of the limousine with a self satisfied sigh. 

“Oh, now you’re interested in my opinion?  What a novel idea for you,” I muttered, unable to keep it inside after saying less than ten words in the past hour.  I’d taken Rob’s advice to heart and bitten my lip against speaking out against Jakob in public, but all bets were off now. 

Jakob’s brows twitched together as he started to get an inkling that I wasn’t having such a peachy time.  “Something troubles you?  You shouldn’t be concerned about the reports of unrest.  There is always unrest when there is change.  It will be far less here than in Vetis.  Don’t trouble yourself, petal.”  He patted my knee in a familiar way.  “Allow yourself to enjoy the victory.”

“And what victory would that be?”

“Your triumph as Elder, of course.”

“Sure, because tonight was all about me,” I murmured, looking out the window.

Jakob was less than apologetic, offering a careless shrug.  “I warned you, there would be much of an impact when I stepped into the light again.  Try to enjoy it, there are benefits to being my consort.”

“Name one.”

“I should have thought that would be self evident.”  His predatory grin stretched wide as he slipped his arm around my waist, pulling me closer.  “Come back with me to my home tonight. I will show you what benefits there are to be had by my side.”  Jakob’s voice was all silky seduction, but I shoved him away, my anger bubbling higher.

“Are you kidding me, after what you pulled tonight?”  Did he not know me at all?  Jakob stared at me, completely taken aback and I forged on when he didn’t speak.  “You expect me to get all cozy with you after you murdered three people right in front of me
?  And don’t you dare say a word about their sacrifice, it’s not like you gave them any choice in the matter.”

Jakob recovered his voice, defending himself against the venom in my words.  “I shared a ritual with your people in your honor.”

“There wasn’t anything honorable about what you did tonight.  You made it all about you, your grand gesture to the little people, sharing your blood with them.  Do you have any idea the kind of message you gave them?”

His chin came up with absolute authority.  “That I will make this petty land strong, to rival the most powerful Houses in the world.”

“Is that what you’ve been planning this whole time?  To forge a new empire, or whatever you want to call it?”

“I hadn’t planned to step forward at all, but I had little choice when I was required to save your lovely neck, did I?”  His head canted to one side, with a penetrating stare. 

Okay, so maybe it was my fault he’d been pushed out into the open, but that didn’t mean he had to go down the path he’d chosen.  “You could’ve whisked us in and out of there if you wanted to.  No one would’ve been the wiser.”

“That would have left you on the run.  I’ve been living in the shadows for too long, I couldn’t abide that life for you.”

“At what cost?  Destroying the life I’ve made for myself so far?  You’ve made a mockery of everything I stand for.”

“I’ve done nothing but add to your power base and your reputation.”  He was starting to get angry now, but I couldn’t back down.

“That’s not the kind of reputation I want.”

“A true leader must be revered but also feared.” 

“No, that’s the definition of a true tyrant.” 

“Tyrant or not, it is my right to rule as I see fit.”

“Is that what you’re doing then?  Taking over the West?”  Why didn’t I see it coming?  The way he’d held court in Vetis, staying behind to conduct his
business
.  The stunt with the blood shouldn’t have come as a surprise. 

“I see the heart of the matter,” Jakob said with a knowing smile.  “You fear I am wresting away all of your power – that is not so.  You may have your paltry kingdom, but all will swear their ultimate allegiance to me.  I will make this nation great
for you, so none may destroy it.”

“Who do you expect to come knocking on our door?  We had years of peace while you were away.  No one gave us any trouble.”

“But neither did they take you seriously.  I don’t understand your upset, you began this.  You declared war on Vetis, I am merely taking steps to make you great enough to defend yourselves.”

“I didn’t declare war, I cut ties with them, those are two very different things.  And I hardly think Aubrey’s going to have Vetis vamps on our doorstep anytime soon.  He’s got his own problems since you got rid of the Order there.” 

Jakob laid a hand on my shoulder.  “You must stop looking in the short term and start to grasp the end game.  That is the difference between us.  You still view things in human terms.”

“Yes, I do.”  Why couldn’t he see that as a good thing?  “This is the world we live in, and I think it’s important to remember.”

“You are wrong.  Fortunately, you have me to protect you when you come to that realization.” 

Could he be any more condescending?  I sputtered beside him, trying to think of the right thing to say to put him in his place, but I came up with nothing.  It was clear to me there wasn’t anything I could say to change his mind, his opinion had taken centuries to take form.  “Take me home,” I said quietly, admitting defeat for the time being.

He took on a cajoling tone, his hand massaging at my shoulder.  “The night is still young.  Let us leave off these minor differences and enjoy it together.”

“No, thank you.  I have work I need to catch up on since I’ve been away.  Rob?” I met his gaze in the rearview mirror.  “Please, take me home.” 

It killed me that Rob didn’t answer right away, instead he looked to Jakob for approval.  At Jakob’s nod, he changed the direction of the car.  “Right away, miss,” Rob said briskly.  

“In time you’ll come around,” Jakob said, with absolute certainty. 

I hope to hell you’re wrong about that
, I managed to keep on the inside.

* * *

I wasn’t lying about having work to do.  While the majority of the vamps in town were still partying until dawn, I took the opportunity to sit at my desk without the phone going nuts for once.  Only I couldn’t focus on work, mostly I sat there staring off into space, thinking about where the night had gone wrong and how to possibly salvage it. 

I thought about Hanna and Mason, wondering if she was
actually fine with the break up, or if the new guy was a coping mechanism.  Poor Mason… I thought about calling him even though we hadn’t been on the best of terms for a while.  He hadn’t shown at the ceremony, but then again, no one from the Order had. 

Even Bishop hadn’t stayed long enough to finish a single drink.  I spent a half second wondering where he’d disappeared to with Laveda before I firmly backtracked and thought about something else. 

I heard Maggie and Marcus come home, the gaps of silence punctuated by soft laughter between them telling me her aggressive turn seemed to have done the trick.  At least someone had cause to celebrate that night.  It made me both happy and sad at the same time, listening to those murmurs, the promise of something new.  Something I wasn’t free to share with the man I loved. 

Right on cue, my office door creaked open and Rob appeared, a mug of cinnamon laced cocoa in hand.  “What you still doing up
here?” he asked, with a light scolding.

“Oh, you know,” I shrugged, blinking away the heavy emotion as I found a smile for him.  “No rest for the wicked.”

“You should be sleeping like a baby then,” he said with a faint smile, setting the hot drink beside me. 

“Somehow I don’t think warm milk will carry me off to dreamland.  I have way too many things on my mind.”

Rob perched on the end of my desk.  “Want to talk about it?”

Where to start?  “Everything’s gone crazy.  It’s like a crazy bomb went off and
tiny bits of crazy globbed onto everything it hit.” 

“Take a breath,” he rumbled, sliding the cocoa closer to my hand.  “You can’t fix everything, you know.  It’ll take time to set things right, but I know you can do it.  Let Jakob have his public spectacles
.  You can make real change now, like you always wanted to.”

I picked up the mug, the warmth and scent of the spiced chocolate soothing
me before I’d even taken a sip.  “Yeah, maybe.”  Maybe it really would all blow over soon?  For all the sweeping statements about making the West great, Jakob hadn’t actually instituted any changes except to lead by example.  I could combat that if I had to.  Just because Jakob said it was groovy to slaughter humans didn’t mean vamps could go doing it willy nilly.  “I guess I don’t have much choice but to try and ride it out.”

“Too right.  You’re not licked yet.”  He nodded in support.

“That’s not all though,” I sighed, taking a shallow sip, but it was still too hot.  “My sister called, she broke things off with Mason.  I mean I know we had our differences, but I liked the guy.  I thought Hanna and Mason stood a chance, you know?”

“Sorry to hear that,” Rob said simply, and I couldn’t tell what he thought about it, his face shuttered.  Even though he sat not three feet away from me, it felt like an ocean of distance between us.  I wanted to say something, anything to get him to look at me again, but I could practically feel the extra security lurking outside, Gunnar moving in the kitchen.  We were never truly alone anymore. 

“This is all we get, isn’t it?” I murmured, a profound sadness sweeping over me at the realization.  “As long as Jakob’s in our lives, he’ll be running them whether he’s here or not.”

Rob didn’t say anything, but his eyes held a world of regret.  “I should leave you to it,” he said finally, pushing away from my desk.

“Do you have to?  There’s nothing wrong with staying up talking with me.  We used to do that all the time.  Remember?” 

“You want me to stay, I’ll stay.”  Rob drew himself up, his tone formal as he stood by the door, his shoulders stiff, almost at attention.

“I’m not ordering you to stick around and talk to me.”

“Then if it’s all the same I’d rather go before one of us says something that can’t be taken back.”

“We’re already past that point.”

“Even more reason for me to go then.” 

In a heartbeat I was up and around the desk, my hand closing over his on the doorknob.  “This is stupid,” I pitched my voice low for his ears only.  “We should be able to spend time together in our own home.  We’re not doing anything wrong.”  I reached up to caress his face.

Rob’s eyes met mine, the furrow between them crinkling with sorrow.  “Don’t…” he said, his voice tight as he caught hold of my hand and pulled it away.  “We can’t.” 

I nodded, stepping away from him, my heart heavy with loss and longing.  “Do you ever wonder what it would’ve been like if we’d met before?  When I was a regular human and my life was my own.”

“My life ain’t never been my own since he stepped into it.  I just keep forgetting when you’re near is all,” he said with a sad half smile.   

“If we’d never met him then.”

“Then I’d have been dead long before you were born, more than likely.  Ain’t no use spinning fairy stories about what might have been, this is our lot in life.  I didn’t never figure on having you anyhow. 
Being near you is more than I could’ve hoped for.”

The simple admission tore at my heart.  “No, it’s not enough.” 

“It has to be.  Tonight was reminder enough of that.” 

He had me there.  We’d witnessed Jakob’s casual brutality, and we’d already seen his vindictive rage
.  There was no hope for us with Jakob in the picture.  Numb with the realization, I didn’t object as he brushed past me to open the door. 

“I’ll leave you to it then,” he said brusquely, his lips hard and cold as he left the room. 

There was work to do.  Emails to answer, petitions to review, proposals to consider, but all I could do was sit by the window and wonder if we’d ever find the freedom to be happy together.  One thought gave me hope. 

Forever
is a long time.