Healing the Wounds (27 page)

He might think her braver than him, but he had it backward. Henry hurt her when she asked for it. Like the flogging. Anal sex might hurt the same way. Pain-with-pleasure during. An ache later. She lacked context. “Maybe a little.”

He dodged soda glasses and condiments and clasped her hands. “It won’t hurt. Promise.” Muscled forearms flexing, he squeezed her fingers. “The first time, it’s kinda uncomfortable, ’cause it’s odd, you know? Like your body’s not sure what’s going on. And then it feels amazing. Full. If it hurts at all, even the first time, you gotta tell Henry right away. He won’t be mad if you need to stop.”

“I know.” She did. She just needed to hear it from Jay. Her expert.

“I think—” Concentration added tiny lines to Jay’s forehead and the corners of his eyes as he squinted. “It helps to breathe nice and slow. And relax your muscles. And listen to Henry’s voice. If you feel like you’re starting to panic, listen to Henry. He loves you. He knows what you’re ready for. He won’t try to give you more than you can handle.”

He let go of one hand and pointed a stern finger at her. “If you’re getting your information online, stop right there, young lady. You’ll make yourself crazy worrying.”

She stared at her empty plate with its smear of barbecue sauce. Caught. Jay sported a sweet and playful surface, and he liked things simple and decided for him, but he wasn’t stupid.

“People do weird and unnecessary stuff. They spread stories when things go wrong.” He held understanding in his eyes, as wise as Henry about her need to research and analyze from every angle. “Things go right, they’re too busy enjoying brainless-orgasm-land to babble about it online.”

When she needed him to play senior submissive, he stepped up and got the job done without thinking less of her. Her fears slipped away, floating free. “Thanks, Jay.”

“If you need more convincing, I can go first. Sacrifice myself as a demonstration model for your needs.” He flashed his charming flirt smile and waggled his eyebrows. “I’m willing to take one for the team.”

She laughed until she was out of breath. “Eager, you mean.”

“Always. And so are you.”

Well, that was true enough.

Jay stood, dropping bills on the table to cover the tab. “C’mon, I’ll give you a lift back to work on my pegs.”

She let him pull her up from the chair. “You just want my arms around your neck and my breasts bouncing against your back every time you brake.”

“Of course I do.” He tugged her toward the door. “You’re gonna say yes anyway, right?”

She ducked her head, grinning as she followed him outside. He was such a horndog. And a sweetheart. And hers. She answered in a soft voice. “Of course I am.”

* * * *

On Wednesday night, Alice didn’t remove her shoes at the door.

She was ready by far to shed her work clothes. The day had been a long one, filled with complications caused not by the nature of the work but by the client. New demands requiring revision to a project already well under way. Time constraints forcing the team into a brainstorming session of epic proportions. Wrung out, she needed more comfort than flopping on the couch until dinner could provide.

Jay’s sweet smile proved an intoxicating lure, a reminder of the domestic tranquility she enjoyed these days. And the spicy aroma emanating from the kitchen promised another delicious dinner delivered by Henry’s capable hands.

Her lovers greeted her with cheerful voices and gentle kisses.

The last of the table settings found its place courtesy of Jay, which necessitated thanks and praise from Henry. Hands-free, as his were coated in some unnamable sauce. A homemade marinade. Certainly the origin of the spicy scent.

Jay gave off his own scent, fresh and woodsy, from his postwork shower. His hair hadn’t fully dried. The ends curled under.

She ran her hand up the back of his head, threading her fingers through his hair and shaking it out. Her frisky puppy wriggled in place.

“It smells great in here, Henry. How long until dinner?” A casual question unlikely to draw Jay’s notice. But Henry’s brief glance at her would give him a wealth of information.

“Oh, I think we might have an hour, my dear. Perhaps more. You might wish to relax a bit beforehand.” Yeah, he knew. The lightness of his answer, the slight twitch at the corner of his mouth, and the tilt of his head added up to pure Henry amusement.

“I will, I think. I can’t wait to get out of these clothes.”

Jay twisted to face her, widening his eyes with exaggerated innocence. “I could help with that. Chief unfastener, at your service.”

She tapped the counter. “I think helping me with my clothes is a task reserved for very good boys with very clean rooms.”

Odd, how a Jay so still could be so alive with energy. The potential for action crawling under his skin, waiting for the explosive rush into kinetic energy, practically made him vibrate.

“I’ll be going to my room to undress in four minutes.” Fair warning, enough time for him to clean up any lingering trouble spots. “If I like what I see, the person who’s done such a wonderful job taking care of my room can take care of me until dinner.”

Jay whipped his body around. “Henry, may I be excused? The table’s all set.”

Henry’s gentle nod came with a straight face and no hint of a tease at her game. “Of course. You’re free to amuse yourself until I call you for dinner.”

“Thank you, Henry.” He trotted away at a more-than-fast walk. Wanted to run, probably, but Henry had a no-running policy to prevent Jay from slipping and cracking his skull open. A necessary measure, no question.

Leaning in, she nuzzled Henry’s neck and inhaled below his ear. Sharp citrus. Musky leather. She left a kiss behind, as soft as her voice. “Yes, thank you, Henry.”

He turned to catch her lips and gave her a more thorough kiss than a simple welcome home. Pulling away, he left her close-eyed and shuddering, drawing energy from his attention.

“You’re settling in well, my sweet girl. The eager anticipation on Jay’s face tells me your rewards have been thoughtfully chosen. Tell me, are you comfortable with your role?”

She leaned against the counter beside him. His long-fingered hands conducted casserole like a symphony as he layered thin strips of meat in a dish. Modified beef stroganoff, from the mushrooms and onions and sour cream on the counter.

“He makes it easy.” No, that wasn’t right, exactly. “And hard.” She shook her head. Giving Henry the wrong impression might make him stop the game. “I mean, it’s complex, but not.” She crossed her arms. “I’m not explaining well at all.”

Henry chuckled. “If I may?”

She gestured with one hand, serving up the conversation on a silver platter. “Be my guest, o eloquent one.”

“You find Jay responds well however you praise him, so long as you do so verbally and provide a task he enjoys. This is an easy matter to accomplish, as he enjoys any task that makes you happy. And, paradoxically, a difficult matter to accomplish, as you cannot tell if the reward truly makes him happy by itself or if it is merely the action of pleasing you that rewards him.”

Henry magic, taking a jumble of complexity and turning it linear with such quickness.

Practice. Experience. Tonight would be her third attempt at enforcing the spot checks on their shared bedroom. Henry had years of experience, not only with the submissive mindset in general, but with Jay specifically.

“Not to worry.” Henry kissed her cheek. “You’ve done nothing thus far to upset him, and I don’t expect you will. Have you considered that you may simply ask him if he’s enjoying himself? In your room, he’s duty-bound to answer you honestly.”

She nearly smacked herself in the face. “Checking in. I should check in with him even when I’m rewarding him. I don’t know what I’m doing otherwise.”

“Asking questions is not a sign of failure, sweet girl. Your ability to intuit his needs will grow with time.”

He’d told her something similar the night of their anniversary dinner, when he’d held her in his lap. Then he’d been talking about himself. “Like you did with me at first.”

“And still do. A question is not a weakness but a strength. Information gathering. A tool to sharpen your mind just as you do at work. Now—are you comfortable in your role?” He winked as he asked. Gathering information about her, still, and in no way relinquishing the dominance in the conversation.

Damn, he was good. She’d have to work on questioning Jay the way Henry questioned her. She didn’t have to anticipate Jay’s answers the way Henry did hers. That skill would grow. The appearance of confidence and the deep desire to know would get her through in the beginning.

“More than I was three minutes ago.” She breathed deep and exhaled slowly. “If you’ll excuse me, I have an appointment to keep.”

“Have fun,” he murmured. “I’m certain Jay will.”

* * * *

Her shoes clicked on the hardwood in the hall. She crossed onto the bedroom rug in silence. Jay stood at the foot of the bed with his feet spread and his hands clasped behind him. At ease. Not raised or hunched, his shoulders signaled eagerness, no tension.

He didn’t look up, and she didn’t speak. Not yet. Earning his reward had to mean something to Jay. She’d taken her cue from Henry here. Stillness. Waiting. Jay struggled with those things. So she started her spot checks the same way every time, requiring him to be still and quiet while she pulled a dominant cloak over her mind.

She went to the vanity, the one Henry had loaned her the first day they’d met. Other than the lone double bed, she had her furniture and Jay had his, which left the bedroom cozy rather than crowded. A good fit, like Henry’s bed and their bodies. She bent at the waist, giving Jay the chance to ogle her ass. Waiting would be easier if he had something fun to think about.

She slid open the thin center drawer, the one intended as a jewelry tray, and lifted out her pen and notebook. A basic Moleskine, but it served her purpose. She’d splurge on a leather cover when her budget had more wiggle room. She wrote the time and date at the top right on a fresh page.

“Jay.” Her quiet call brought his head up immediately, his eyes focused on hers. “Show me what you’ve done this week, sweetheart.”

She took notes as he led her around the room. Everything in its place. Laundry in the basket. Items lined up across the top of his dresser. Clean clothes folded in the drawers rather than tossed in. The bed made. The closet tidy. The rug vacuumed. She noted each task he’d completed and praised his thoroughness, his dedication, and his courtesy in keeping their shared space immaculate.

“You’ve been very good, Jay. Do you know how proud it makes me to come home and see this?”

He shook his head, his face sweet and open to her. No, he probably didn’t. Organization was something Henry had trained in him, not an inborn trait. A well-ordered space didn’t calm his mind the way it did hers.

“No?” She laid the notebook aside and took his hands. “When I walk in the door, sweetheart, I only want two things—to see my beautiful boys and to relax. And here’s my Jay, keeping everything in order, so there’s no work to be done here. Nothing I need to worry about.” She raised his hands and kissed his palms. “You’ve earned a reward for such generosity. Would you like to help me relax even more, Jay?”

“Yes, please, Alice.” He squirmed, a subtle ripple.

She didn’t have to look down to know he’d be hard.

“On your knees, then.” She squeezed his hands once and let go. “Help me undress. Shoes first, please.”

He sank to the floor in a single fluid move. She rested a hand on his shoulder as he lifted her right foot. Ran the other through the hair on his bowed head.

He caressed her feet as he slipped off her shoes, his fingers warm and firm through her thin socks.

She moaned soft encouragement. “Your hands are so much more comfortable than shoes, sweetheart. Socks next, please.”

His slipped his hands inside her pants leg and rolled her dress sock down to her toes, first one side and then the other.

She flexed her foot.

He squeezed.

“Tell me what you’re thinking right now, Jay. Are you enjoying your reward?”

“Yes, Alice. I’m thinking about how small your feet are. How they fit in my hands. How soft your skin is. How it tastes when you let me kiss you.” His words tumbled out unfiltered, without pause.

“Would you like to kiss me now, sweetheart?”

He answered with a sharp nod and a whispered
please
.

“You’ve been such a good boy this week that I’m going to allow it. You may kiss any skin you’ve uncovered, Jay.”

He curved over her bare feet like a territorial puppy guarding a toy, his elbows out to ward off nonexistent challengers. Kissing the tops of her feet first, he sucked at her skin with strength. Placed the gentlest of kisses on her ankles. Rubbed his cheek against her.

“Thank you, sweetheart. I’m feeling nice and relaxed thanks to you. Do you know what else will help me relax?”

He sat back on his heels, eyes bright, smile sly. Henry’s little comedian. Her playmate. “No pants?”

She laughed, nodding. “No pants. Can you help me with that, Jay?”

His fingers were at her belt before she’d even said his name. “Yes, Alice.”

Oh, yes. God knew Henry had him undress her often enough. Jay could probably do it blindfolded. Something to consider for the future, but one she’d have to ask Henry about. Blindfolds had to count as toys, and toys required permission.

Opening her belt and unzipping her slacks, Jay inhaled on an almost-silent whimper. He curved his hands around her ass over her panties. She hummed in happy agreement with his solid grip.

The pants slid to the floor.

He leaned into her, resting his forehead against her panties. His breath gusted across the silk. A new pair. Dark green. A welcome-to-our-home gift from Henry.

Jay traced the edges with his fingers.

“Do you like my panties, Jay?”

His nod brushed dark hair along the hem of her shirt.

“Do you want me to leave them on for now?”

Stillness, but not a no. A yes he didn’t want to voice? She ran her hands through his hair. “Do you want to know why
I
want to leave them on for now?”