Healing Love at Christmas (3 page)

And then he went crazy, his thrusts becoming erratic as he searched for the blissful peak which she'd already found. His fingers dug into the flesh of her ass. The sound of pounding flesh filled the air around them. Natasha could hear her satisfied groans and his deep grunts as he approached his peak.

“
I love you, Natasha,” he growled as he seemed to bend backwards. She could feel his cock jerk inside her as his release washed over him, spilling inside her.

She cried out as he came ,her heart melting and hurting with the need to feel his love. His hands dropped her ass as he cupped her face and Natasha could feel him shaking as he caressed her face, landing kisses all over her cheeks and lips. Desperation had clearly taken hold of Jake. She hugged him while his body was still connected to her in the most primal way.

“
I love you so much,” he whispered the words over and over, as if trying to embed them in her mind. As his lips touched her, she kissed him back.

Jake rested his chin in the grove of her neck, inhaling her scent. Natasha squeezed his shoulders.

“
I love you, too.” She spoke the words content with how right they felt in her heart.

Chapter
Three

“
We’ll need a tree.” Natasha reached out to hold his hand. Jake smiled, loving the new connection he felt with his wife, the love of his life.

“
We already have a tree,” Jake responded as he took a sip of his cocoa. They were snuggled in front of the fire, their naked bodies folded together under a blanket where they could see the falling snow outside. It was a beautiful Christmas view.

“
Not a plastic, fake one. We may not be with family, but I want a proper tree.” Kissing her on the head, Jake followed her vision. She was staring out at the snow.

He knew what she was thinking about. The first Christmas they shared at this cabin they did nothing but make love. They made love in front of this very fireplace as snow fell, trapping them together. There was no escape and they didn’t want one.

“
I love it here,” she sighed, her head leaning back to rest on his shoulder.

“
I have a tree.” Ever since they separated, Jake had hoped and prayed they'd be forced together over the Christmas holiday. Even if they didn’t end up stranded this year, Christmas was going to bring about something new instead of the limbo they’d been living in.

Natasha leaned back and smiled at Jake while his heart jumped a beat. Her smile radiated light upon her entire face. She was the most beautiful, bewitching woman he’d ever been with and he loved everything about her including h Her smile, which could light up a room. No matter how busy she was, she always had time for everyone else. Even though they had their own problems, nothing could undermine her caring nature.

“
Let’s decorate it!” She jumped up from the sofa, her breasts bouncing with her excitement. Laughing, he caught her round the waist bringing her flush against his body and kissed her.

“
I’ll go get dressed. Don’t want my package freezing to death.” He kissed her again, groaning as he pulled away.

“
Just think, Jake. You have me to keep you warm if you do,” she teased him, cocking one of her sexy hips. He could see his finger marks on her flesh and a possessive satisfaction swamped over him, seeing her marked flesh. She was his woman and she always would be.

He forced himself to turn his back and put some clothes on.

A few hours later the tree Jake had sawed down was secure in the corner of the living room.

“
It looks good.” Natasha folded her arms, observing the tree. It really did look good. The full greens, vibrant and youthful, emitted a smell that reminded Natasha of joyful childhood holidays when everything was simple and serene. As Jake was getting the tree situated, she went in search of Christmas decorations and returned with three cardboard boxes.

Together they spent the next two hours decorating their cabin. Mistletoe hung above the door frame leading from the kitchen into the dining room. Tinsel covered most of the free surfaces and picture frames. They even managed to decorate the tree a little more tastefully with simple purple and silver tinsel, silver ornaments and bright, white, fairy lights. A pure, perfect white angel sat in a place of honour at the top. It was truly an amazing site.

“
All we need is the carols.” Jake stood back to observe the beauty of the tree. He really did have good taste.

“
I thought you already had that covered,” Natasha raised an eyebrow, handing him a cup of hot cocoa.

“
My family won’t be happy with us,” Natasha warned.

“
I think our families would want us to work out our problems.”

****

Jake was delicately approaching the subject he’d been dying to investigate. Natasha accused him more than once of cheating and now he'd like to know where she'd gotten that idea.

He couldn’t get hard for any other woman but her. Besides, it was Jake that had been the one to take their relationship to the next level.

“
I don’t want to talk about it.” Jake watched her instantly withdraw as she turned to a block of ice as cold as the snow outside. He was tired of the snow and ice. He wanted his hot, passionate woman back for good. He longed for her fiery abandon scorching him and the sheets.

“
We need to talk about this, Natasha.” He put his cup down on the table and stepped closer to her and his anger spiked as she took a step away from him.

“
No, we don’t,” she protested, about to turn away from him.

He couldn’t have that. He couldn’t allow her to leave things unsaid. His biggest mistake had been not to speak up six months ago. He’d wasted six months. He wasn’t going to waste any more time.

Jake took hold of her shoulders and thrust her up against the nearest wall, not hurting her but letting her know he was determined, even obsessed, with needing to know what was going on in Natasha’s head.

“
What the hell are you doing?” She struggled against his arms but he didn’t budge.

“
Saving my marriage,” he growled before his lips plundered hers. She drove him crazy with longing. Kissing her, loving her, would send him to an early grave. He didn’t care. He would do anything for her love.

“
Why?” That simple word cut him up inside.

“
I love you, damn it,” he growled. She was all he could think about. Whenever they were away from each other he counted the hours until he would see her again.

“
You couldn’t have loved me all that much.”

Taking hold of her hand he flattened it against his chest where his heart pounded for no one but her.

“
Feel me. Feel how my heart beats for you. I love you so much, Natasha. How could you think otherwise?”

The tears rolled down her face making his gut clench. He hated it when she cried.

“
What about that small brunette who came into your office building? I heard you, Jake. You told Mrs Watson not to disturb you.” She stopped, trying to stem the flow of tears as she bit her wobbly lower lip. “I’ve never seen her before and you can’t tell me she was there on business.”

Jake tried to think past the wave of confusion. When had he told his secretary not to disturb him? He couldn’t put his finger on it. He had to fix this. There was no way he could allow Natasha to believe these ridiculous lies. He rummaged through his brain. While there'd been a lot going on in the past six months, a pretty brunette wasn’t popping up in his memory.

And then he finally remembered, the thought sobered him instantly. He'd have to tell her. He released his hold and Natasha’s shoulders slumped as she rubbed her upper arms. Shaking his head, Jake walked slowly to the sofa in front of the burning fire and the purple and silver Christmas tree. He heard her enter and sit next to him. He could feel her heat against him.

Out of all the things he had to tell her, this was the worst. Taking a deep breath, he gazed into the flames, his hopes and dreams disintegrating before his eyes like the logs burning away in the fire.

“
That brunette you saw in my office six months ago wasn’t a business deal or an affair or anything like that.” His elbows rested on his knees, his head cradled in his hands. Jake could sense her holding her breath as he struggled to find his own.

“
The brunette was a fertility specialist. Dr. Catherine James.” His face was red with shame.

“
What? Why? Why would you need to see a fertility specialist?” she asked him.

Looking up from the carpet to the burning flames, then to his wife’s face, Jake answered.

“
Do you remember what we discussed when we first got together?” He turned, giving her his undivided attention.

“
We talked about what we wanted out of life--family, friends, everything,” she answered. He could see the confusion on her face and it was killing him. She was going to make him spell it out.

“
We wanted kids, Natasha. Lots of kids, at least four. Do you remember?”

She nodded.

“
I can’t give you those kids.”

Silence fell between them. Jake stared at Natasha. Natasha stared at Jake.

Natasha made the first move. She lunged at him, her arms circling his neck, holding onto him tightly. “Oh my god,” she gasped over and over again. She pulled him close and inhaled his fragrance, trying to get as close to him as she could. He never expected this.

“
Natasha, you’ve got to listen to me.” He truly believed she hadn’t heard him. “I can’t give you the children you want.”

He took her face between his palms, forcing her to listen to him. “You can’t have my children.” He repeated.

“
I don’t care about that.” She kissed his lips to silence him. “Do you have any idea what I’ve been going through thinking you’d found someone else?”

“
How could I want someone else? You own me, Natasha. I’m yours.”

Natasha cried out with happiness. Out of all the things she feared or anticipated, it was apparent she hadn’t expect this. She honestly thought he’d found another woman to love.

“
What about children?” he asked in between her raining kisses.

“
I’m not going to lie. I would've loved to have your children. But I can’t imagine being anywhere else than with you. If I can’t have your children then I don’t want any."

“
I can’t do that to you Natasha.” He pulled away. “You deserve children. You will be a great mother.”

She placed her finger over his mouth to stop him from talking.

“
There are thousands of children in this world who aren't wanted. We can adopt and give those children our love.” Natasha had no problem adopting. “What made you get tested?”

“
It had been a couple of years and I knew you weren’t on the pill. I kind of put two and two together.” Natasha felt a stabbing pain in her heart.

****

He’d gone through all this pain on his own.

She loved him so much it hurt. Natasha truly believed this trip, this conversation, was the start of the end of her marriage but if anything, it was the beginning. She leaned over and kissed him on the lips. She could clearly see he was in shock. Smiling against his lips, even though he wasn’t responding, she continued to kiss him. Nibbling on his lower lip, trailing her tongue over his lips, she teased and tasted him, trying to get a response.

Natasha could sense the internal battle he was having. She knew Jake couldn’t understand or believe she truly didn’t care about his fertility issues.

“
I love you, Jake. Everything is going to work out.” She truly believed that. Provided they were together, everything else would work out.

“
I love you too. But this—”

She cut him off with a stern look.

“
But nothing, Jake. We’ll work through this and we’ll have lots of kids.”

He nodded. She could see he wasn’t convinced but she knew just how to tempt him. “You know this means? We can have lots and lots of sex and not worry about protection.”

When they’d first started dating and early in their marriage, they used protection every time they made love. When they decided to have children, sex without protection felt so right and beautiful between them.

Her comment had the desired effect and his eyes flared, the interest returning almost immediately. He came at her, kissing her hard. His lips commanded her, taking everything he wanted from her. She was laughing as his desire overcame her.

“
If, however, you’re unfaithful, we’ll have to reconsider the no protection policy,” she said.

His palm came up to cup one of her full breasts, her nipples already budding against the cotton of her bra and blouse.

“
How could I ever leave a woman like you?” Jake whispered. Natasha gasped as his lips covered her nipple, sucking it through her shirt. “You’re passionate, beautiful and you love me.” His teeth bit down and her back arched into his caress. Her nipple pressed into his mouth, budding. The pleasure shot inside her body careening all around her.

“
Yes, yes...” she panted. Her hands reached for his face. Her legs came up to accept him at the juncture of her thighs.

He moved to the other nipple taking the blouse and her nipple between his teeth giving her twin wet patches at her breasts.