But today her hair was simply drawn back and knotted behind
her head, and her lips and her eyes were pale; and her exposed
ears were tiny and white and somewhat pointed.
"Observe the scalloped capitals," he whispered. "In their
primitive fluting they anticipated what was later to become a
common motif."
"Faugh!" said she.
"Shh!" said a sunburnt little woman nearby, whose face
seemed to crack and fall back together again as she pursed and
unpursed her lips.
Later, as they strolled back toward their hotel, Render said,
"Okay on Winchester?"
"Okay on Winchester."
"Happy?"
"Happy."
"Good, then we can leave this afternoon."
"All right."
"For Switzerland..."
She stopped and toyed with a button on his coat.
"Couldn't we just spend a day or two looking at some old
chateaux first? After all, they're just across the Channel, and
you could be sampling all the local wines while I looked. . ."
"Okay," he said.
She looked upa trifle surprised.
"What? No argument?" she smiled. "Where is your fighting
spirit?to let me push you around like this?"
She took his arm then and they walked on as he said,
"Yesterday, while we were galloping about in the innards of
that old castle, I heard a weak moan, and then a voice cried out,
'For the love of God, Montresor!' I think it was my fighting
spirit, because I'm certain it was my voice. I've given up der
geist der stets verneint. Pax vobiscumi Let us be gone to
France. Alors!"
"Dear Rendy, it'll only be another day or two . . ."
"Amen," he said, "though my skis that were waxed are
already waning."
So they did that, and on the morn of the third day, when she
spoke to him of castles in Spain, he reflected aloud that while
psychologists drink and only grow angry, psychiatrists have
been known to drink, grow angry, and break things. Construing
this as a veiled threat aimed at the Wedgwoods she had
collected, she acquiesced to his desire to go skiing.
Free! Render almost screamed it.
His heart was pounding inside his head. He leaned hard. He
cut to the left. The wind strapped at his face; a shower of ice
crystals, like bullets of emery, fired by him, scraped against his
cheek.
He was moving. Ayethe world had ended at Weissflujoch,
and Dorftali led down and away from this portal.
His feet were two gleaming rivers which raced across the
stark, curving plains; they could not be frozen in their course.
Downward. He flowed. Away from all the rooms of the world.
Away from the stifling lack of intensity, from the day's hundred
spoon-fed welfares, from the killing pace of the forced
amusements that hacked at the Hydra, leisure; away.
And as he fled down the run he felt a strong desire to look
back over his shoulder, as though to see whether the world he
had left behind and above had set one fearsome embodiment of
itself, like a shadow, to trail along after him, hunt him down,
and to drag him back to a warm and well-lit coffin in the sky,
there to be laid to rest with a spike of aluminum driven through
his will and a garland of alternating currents smothering his
spirit.
"I hate you," he breathed between clenched teeth, and the
wind carried the words back; and he laughed then, for he
always analyzed his emotions, as a matter of reflex; and be
added, "Exit Orestes, mad, pursued by the Furies . . ."
After a time the slope leveled out and he reached the bottom
of the run and had to stop.
He smoked one cigarette then and rode back up to the top so
that he could come down it again for non-therapeutic reasons.
That night he sat before a fire in the big lodge, feeling its
warmth soaking into his tired muscles. Jill massaged his
shoulders as he played Rorschach with the flames, and he came
upon a blazing goblet which was snatched away from him in
the same instant by the sound of his name being spoken
somewhere across the Hall of the Nine Hearths.
"Charles Render!" said the voice (only it sounded more like
"Shariz Runder"), and his head instantly jerked in that
direction, but his eyes danced with too many afterimages for
him to isolate the source of the calling.
"Maurice?" he queried after a moment, "Bartelmetz?"
"Aye," came the reply, and then Render saw the familiar
grizzled visage, set neckless and balding above the red and
blue shag sweater that was stretched mercilessly about the
wine-keg rotundity of the man who now picked his way in their
direction, deftly avoiding the strewn crutches and the stacked
skis and the people who, like Jill and Render, disdained sitting
in chairs.
Render stood, stretching, and shook hands as he came upon
them.
"You've put on more weight," Render observed. "That's
unhealthy."
"Nonsense, it's all muscle. How have you been, and what are
you up to these days?" He looked down at Jill and she smiled
back at him.
"This is Miss DeVille," said Render.
"Jill," she acknowledged.
He bowed slightly, finally releasing Render's aching hand.
". . . And this is Professor Maurice Bartelmetz of Vienna,"
finished Render, "a benighted disciple of all forms of dialectical
pessimism, and a very distinguished pioneer in neuroparticipa-
tion although you'd never guess it to look at him. I had the
good fortune to be his pupil for over a year."
Bartelmetz nodded and agreed with him, taking in the
Schnappsflasche Render brought forth from a small plastic bag,
and accepting the collapsible cup which he filled to the brim.
"Ah, you are a good doctor still," he sighed. "You have
diagnosed the case in an instant and you make the proper
prescription. Nozdrovia!"
"Seven years in a gulp," Render acknowledged, refilling their
glasses.
"Then we shall make time more malleable by sipping it."
They seated themselves on the floor, and the fire roared up
through the great brick chimney as the logs burnt themselves
back to branches, to twigs, to thin sticks, ring by yearly ring.
Render replenished the fire.
"I read your last book," said Bartelmetz finally, casually,
"about four years ago."
Render reckoned that to be correct.
"Are you doing any research work these days?"
Render poked lazily at the fire.
"Yes," he answered, "sort of."
He glanced at Jill, who was dozing with her cheek against
the arm of the huge leather chair that held his emergency bag,
the planes of her face all crimson and flickering shadow.
"I've hit upon a rather unusual subject arid started with a
piece of jobbery I eventually intend to write about."
"Unusual? In what way?"
"Blind from birth, for one thing."
"You're using the ONT&R?"
"Yes. She's going to be a Shaper."
"Verfluchter!Are you aware of the possible repercussions?"
"Of course."
"You've heard of unlucky Pierre?"
"No."
"Good, then it was successfully hushed. Pierre was a
philosophy student at the University of Paris, and he was doing
a dissertation on the evolution of consciousness. This past
summer he decided it would be necessary for him to explore the
mind of an ape, for purposes of comparing a moins-nausee
mind with his own, I suppose. At any rate, he obtained illegal
access to an ONT&R and to the mind of our hairy cousin. It was
never ascertained how far along he got in exposing the animal
to the stimuli-bank, but it is to be assumed that such items as
would not be immediately trans-subjective between man and
apetraffic sounds and so weiterwere what frightened the
creature. Pierre is still residing in a padded cell, and all his
responses are those of a frightened ape.
"So, while he did not complete his own dissertation," he
finished,
"he may provide significant material for someone
else's."
Render shook his head.
"Quite a story," he said softly, "but I have nothing that
dramatic to contend with. I've found an exceedingly stable
individuala psychiatrist, in factone who's already spent time
in ordinary analysis. She wants to go into neuroparticipation
but the fear of a sight-trauma was what was keeping her out.
I've been gradually exposing her to a full range of visual
phenomena. When I've finished she should be completely
accommodated to sight, so that she can give her full attention
to therapy and not be blinded by vision, so to speak. We've
already had four sessions."
"And?"
". . . And it's working fine."
"You are certain about it?"
"Yes, as certain as anyone can be in these matters."
"Mm-hm," said Bartelmetz. "Tell me, do you find her
excessively strong-willed? By that I mean, say,, perhaps an
obsessive-compulsive pattern concerning anything to which
she's been introduced so far?"
"No."
"Has she ever succeeded in taking over control of the
fantasy?"
"No!"
"You lie," he said simply.