HDU #2: Dirt (25 page)

“You got nothing
for me now, huh?” He rubbed the stubble on his jaw as he sneered.
 
“That’s funny ‘cause I’m not even done
listing the shit you’ve pulled on Liam.
 
Like getting into his head about Logan, digging up all the things from
his past that you knew would fuck with his head.
 
Getting him to buy you that fucking house somehow —
that’s fucking
crazy
, Jesus
Christ
.”
 
Connor shook his head as he looked up at the ceiling, his
smile one of bitter disbelief.
 
“You know, at least when he was fucking a bunch of different girls every
week, he was sane.
 
I didn’t have
to worry about him, about him making crazy decisions or screwing up all the
things he’s spent his life and his brother’s life working toward.
 
Just for a girl who’ll leave him once
she finds some new, maybe richer idiot to fall for all her tricks.”

“
None
of that is what you’re making it
out to sound like,” Amanda finally managed to say, despite knowing well that it
was a weak argument.

“Then what was
it? Because it sounds a lot like the mind games Angie played to keep Liam
around so he’d keep her tanking career relevant.
 
So she’d have someone big enough around to pull a publicity
stunt on once she needed it.”

“What publicity
stunt did I pull on Liam?” Amanda demanded defensively.

“I didn’t say
you did yet,” Connor said, enunciating each of his words as if she were an
idiot.
 
“But I have a feeling
you’re going to at some point considering the stunt you pulled to keep your job
here.
 
Offering Wendy’s money to
your ex-boyfriend so he’d play the villain for you?” Connor let himself nod as
he lifted his eyebrows.
 
“That was
good.
 
And you know what, I have to
give it you — you’re smart.
 
Or I should say cunning.
 
And there’s something very impressively manipulative about you that
helps you keep people like Wendy and Liam so close.”
 
He tilted his head to the side, giving a disparaging
laugh.
 
“Then again it’s a little
less impressive than what you do to Liam, considering Angie was a fan of the withholding
too.”

“Withholding?”
Amanda repeated, though she hardly wanted the confirmation of what she
suspected Connor was referring to.
 
Her stomach turning, she felt her teeth grind as he spoke.

“You kept him on
a tight leash by refusing to have sex.
 
I’m guessing his weird fascination with you had a lot to do with the
fact that he hadn’t gotten you in bed yet.”

Amanda’s fingers
curled into fists.
 
The heat in her
body had risen to the point of feeling ice cold.
 
Doing her best not to reach out and pummel Connor like she
wanted to, Amanda stood frozen, her lips barely moving as she spoke between her
teeth.
 
“I did not withhold sex to
keep Liam interested,” she said, her fury white-hot.
 
“It wasn’t even…
withholding
,
I was just…”
Insecure and scared and inexperienced
but I sure as hell won’t try to tell you that.

“Whatever,
Amanda.
 
I know what you’re going
to do, you’re going to go into the innocent, wide-eyed thing with me but I’ll
save you the act — I’m sure you’ll have to use it on Tom when you go back
in there later,” Connor said, heading for the door.
 
Pausing with his hand on the knob, he laughed.
 
“Fuck it, maybe you’ve played that part
for so long that you actually believe it.
 
But I can tell you that you’re as ruthless as anyone else in this business
and it’s just a matter of time before you use someone up and toss them to the
side when you’re done.
 
I just sure
as shit won’t let it be my best friend because I’ve seen him through everything
he fought through to get here and he shouldn’t have to fight anymore.”

Feeling suddenly
exhausted, Amanda leaned against the table in the room, barely trying to argue
with Connor anymore.
 
“I would
never hurt Liam.
 
I love him.”

“Whatever you
say,” Connor shrugged, equally tired.
 
“I at least have the comfort of knowing you’ll be canned from
Leadoff
before your fake breakup with
Liam ends.
 
You’ll be back in
Missouri soon,” he muttered before walking out and shutting the door.

GET
READY FOR THE SIDE-BY-SIDE LIVE-TWEETING OF THE LEADOFF AND LEGACY PREMIERE
PARTIES!

Pop Rock Gossip

September 13
^th

Posted by Jessie O.

Remember my friend, Bitty (not her real name), who guest posted for me
the week I was mourning the death of Liamanda? Well, it just so happens that
Bitty has spent the past two years toiling in the background at
Roebling-Hunter, one of New York’s top PR firms.
 
And since Roebling-Hunter represents just about every actor
in
Leadoff
, including the two stars, newcomer Kyle
Laurie (Milo) and Hollywood vet Zoe Mercury (Milo’s girlfriend, Gina), Bitty
got handed a VIP pass to the show’s premiere party tonight at The Bowery’s
swanky new hotel, Metropolis.

Lucky for me, Bitty is a terrible person and hates Amanda Nathan and
anything that has to do with her, so I get to go to
Leadoff’s
big three-episode screening tonight.
 
No need to cry for Bitty though —
she scored herself a plus-one pass for
Legacy’s
premiere party, which is also a three-episode screening being held
tonight but at The Strathorne because apparently these shows are hell-bent on
drawing comparisons to one another.

Well, if they want comparisons, they’re going to get comparisons.
 
Like, actual side-by-side tweet
comparisons.
 
So prepare your
popcorn and get ready for tomorrow night’s side-by-side live-tweeting of the
Leadoff
and
Legacy
premiere parties
— hope you’re excited as Bitty and me!

Chapter 16

Amanda stared
blankly into her reflection in the lit mirror, letting the stylist comb and
pull her hair and head in whatever direction she so pleased.
 
Her dead eyes actually made her laugh,
though not visibly or audibly.
 
It
was just funny to think about the fact that six months was apparently all it
took to get sick of big celebrity parties.
 
Earlier in the year, the idea of getting dolled up for a red
carpet still put butterflies in her stomach.

Tonight, there
were none.
 
She had let Wendy come
to her apartment to dress her particularly unenthusiastic self before sending
her off to do hair and makeup with Harper, in hopes of “pepping you up with
some girl time.”
 
But the pep had
yet to make its appearance — though perhaps because
Leadoff
didn’t feel like anything worth celebrating.
 
The show had yet to premiere and it was
already failing.
 
Her boss was
tired, exhausted and finally showing his age in the industry.
 
Her coworkers hated her.

And worst of
all, Casey Mulreed was already winning whatever game she’d challenged Amanda
to.
 
Of course she’s winning
, Amanda thought dully as her stylist blew
out her straight hair with a large, round brush.
 
She’s been in
Hollywood for a decade-and-a-half longer than I have.
 
This game has been hers since she was a teenager.

“Amanda.”

Harper’s voice
of protest came from the chair to her right.

“
Amanda
.”

Ian’s voice came
from behind her.
 
Blinking, Amanda
looked at him through the mirror.
 
“Sorry.
 
What?”

“Stop feeling
guilty about me,” Ian said.
 
“You’re not, are you?”

Actually, I wasn’t.
 
“No… not really,” Amanda answered.

“Good, because I
feel bad enough about leaving him alone tonight,” Harper said.
 
“I just have to be there for Zoe,” she
explained, referring to Zoe Mercury, who played the role of Milo’s love
interest in
Leadoff
.

“Harper,” Ian
frowned.
 
“She’s your best friend,
don’t feel bad.
 
You have to
support her.”

Yup, because best friends have unbreakable
bonds and have to support each other and all that
, Amanda reminded herself
bitterly while looking down at the surprise text that Liam had sent about an
hour ago.

I can’t stop thinking about you.
 
I’ll be at your premiere tonight as
Connor’s date
.

The text had
probably been meant to make her laugh but after her day at work yesterday, the
thought of Connor only made Amanda want to throw things.
 
The thought of being at the same event
as Liam and being unable to talk to him while Connor got to gab away made her
want to punch the onyx wall in Harper’s vanity room.
 
She wanted desperately to be near him, to tell him about
work, about the strange man in the green cap, about all the things bothering
her that she couldn’t word eloquently in a text message.

And more than
anything, she wanted to fall asleep in the same bed as him again.

“True, Zoe would
kill me if I didn’t at least make an appearance.
 
Especially since she gets so bored at these parties,” Harper
agreed as she examined her hair, which she wore straight, down and dramatically
slicked back.
 
She smiled her
thanks to her stylist.
 
“Good thing
Amanda and I’ll be leaving early to come hang out with you, Ian — right,
Amanda?”

Amanda fluttered
her fake lashes.
 
She didn’t even
know when the stylist had put them on.
 
“Sure.
 
Definitely.”
 
There was essentially no one worth
staying at the after party for considering she was banned from going near Liam.

“And we’re going
to ease Ian back into the swing of going out at night, right?” Harper asked
brightly with a clap of the hands, like a preschool teacher trying to pep up a
class of small children.

“Yes,” Amanda
and Ian answered in unison.

“Perfect,”
Harper beamed, an excited lilt in her voice that Amanda had never heard
before.
 
“It’s going to be a good
night,” she breathed, reaching behind her so Ian could take her hand.
 
“I can just feel the good energy.”

~

Despite the
bouffant, Amanda’s up-do felt entirely too tight.
 
Touching the dramatic bun at the top of her head, she turned
around, once again peering over her shoulder and through the rear window of
Harper’s Audi.

“What is it that
you’re looking at?” Harper asked, her eyes still glued to the screen of her
phone.

“Nothing,”
Amanda lied.
 
It wasn’t quite nothing.
 
It was a yellow cab that had been
parked outside of Harper’s Flatiron building since they had left the apartment
and climbed into the Audi — that had since followed them down Fifth
Avenue, across Eighth Street and down then down The Bowery.
 
Unless she was imagining it, Amanda
could see that the cab’s passenger was wearing a green baseball cap.
 
God,
just let us get to this thing already.

“Are you
thirsty?”

Amanda blinked
over at Harper.
 
“What?”

“I thought you
were staring at the 7-11 ‘cause you were thirsty.
 
Which reminds me,” Harper mumbled as she undid her seatbelt,
opening her spiked clutch and taking out her wallet.
 
“All they’re going to have at this thing is liquor so I
think I’m gonna pick up some coconut waters for us right now.
 
I’ll just have Ron pull over right over
here — Ron.
 
Can you pull
over right here?”

Amanda felt a
tinge of panic.
 
“What? Are you
sure we need to pull over?”

Harper gave a
wry smile.
 
“How else am I going to
get out of the car? Don’t worry.
 
We’re early.
 
It’ll only
take a second.”

As Amanda’s
protesting lips failed to form a sentence, the car parked and Harper got out,
running expertly in her sparkling, four-inch Jimmy Choos.
 
Once her door slammed shut, Amanda
locked it, spinning around in her seat to locate the yellow cab.

It was parked
directly behind them.

“Shit,” Amanda
hissed, wondering if the windows in Harper’s Audi were even tinted.
 
Her heart pounded as she watched the
capped passenger slide out of the backseat and open his door.
 
Instinctively, Amanda grabbed her
phone, her first thought to call Liam.

By the time she
realized that wasn’t an option, her body was instinctively scooting away from
the right side window which the capped man had approached, his fist rapping on the
glass.

“Drive! Drive away!”

It was what she
was desperately trying to tell Harper’s driver but Amanda only ended up
coughing, her voice catching in her throat with fear.
 
By the time she had gathered herself, her eyes had focused
on the man outside her window.
 
Or
rather, the boy — whose cap was not so much green as it was blue with a
St. Louis Rams logo on the front.
 
Amanda squinted.

“Jake?”

That’s his name, right?
It was him.
 
She should’ve known from the way he had
somewhat limped over to the car.
 
And from the way his nervous posture didn’t remotely resemble the brazen
paparazzo who had been stalking her.

“Jake?” Rolling
down the window, Amanda could feel the confusion contorting her face, her eyes
going from squinting to scanning his odd ensemble.
 
To go with the St. Louis hat, he wore a blue Yankees hoodie
and Mets logo sweatpants.
 
What… is going on?
“Did you just tail my
car from my friend’s apartment?”

Jake
cringed.
 
“Yeah, I’m sorry.”
 
Wringing his hands, his pale blue eyes
darted about the sidewalk.

“Um… why?”
Amanda asked, feeling oddly like she was interrogating poor Jake despite the
fact that he had just followed her for over twenty blocks.
 
“Hello?” She waved her hand to get his
attention as he continued peering nervously up and down the sidewalk.
 
Heaving a sigh, Amanda opened the car
door.
 
“Jake, would it be easier
for you to talk if you were sitting in the car?” she asked, hoping her tone
came off as reassuring and not impatient since she did mean to sound
comforting.
 
Despite his odd
behavior, Amanda couldn’t help but feel sorry for the kid — possibly
because there was still something about him that reminded her of someone she
knew.

“Thank
you.”
 
With one more eye down the
block, Jake slid into the backseat of the car, closing the door on his
own.
 
Amanda eyed his jittery limbs
as he got situated, wondering immediately if she’d made a mistake.
 
He certainly did have the body language
of a carjacker.

“So.
 
Please tell me what’s going on.”

Jake cleared his
throat.
 
“I just feel like I need
to confess why I even applied for my internship at Waltman Global, I applied
because I read you were working there.”

Amanda stared,
feeling herself instinctively slide closer to the door.
 
He winced at himself.

“I’m not a
stalker though.”

“Okay.”

“I’m not here to
stalk you, I mean.”

Amanda felt her
face truly contort with confusion.
 
Jake covered his own face with his hands.

“I keep saying
the wrong things.”

“You… do.
 
But it’s okay,” Amanda said
slowly.
 
Looking out the rear
window, she spotted Harper outside of the magazine store in which she’d bought
her coconut water.
 
She had her
cell phone wedged between her shoulder and her ear, casually waving to fans and
stray paparazzi while chatting with a girlish smile on her lips.
 
It was no doubt Ian on the phone.
 
“Just take a deep breath,” Amanda said,
turning back to Jake.
 
She had some
time.
 
“Relax for a little bit and
then try to tell me everything you want to say in the fewest amount of words
possible.”

“Okay.”
 
He nodded, taking a deep breath.
 
“Okay.”

“Whenever you’re
ready,” Amanda said though when Jake remained silent for the next fifteen
seconds, she tried to come up with an icebreaker.
 
“So… are you a Yankees fan or a Mets fan?”

“Neither.”

“Oh.
 
Are your… friends Yankees fans? Or Mets
fans.”

Jake’s cheeks
reddened slightly.
 
“Friends?” he
repeated with a laugh.

Oh… kay.
 
No friends, not a Yanks fan, not a Mets fan.
 
“Um.
 
So, where are you from?”

Jake peered at
Amanda before pointing to the Rams logo on his cap.
 
“Missouri.”

“You’re from St.
Louis?” Amanda raised her eyebrows.
 
Immediately, she wondered if he were someone she had met while living
out in St. Louis and somehow forgotten already.
 
She had, after all, met a significant amount of people since
then.
 
However, Jake shook his
head.

“No, not St.
Louis.
 
I’m from Columbia.”

“Oh.”
 
Amanda felt her eyes squint.
 
Wait.
 
Someone else is from Columbia.
 
She watched as Jake studied the slow recognition on her
face.
 
He nodded, chewing his lip.

“I’m Casey’s
brother.”

Holy shit.
 
“You… what?”
How the
hell did I forget that she had a brother?
Suddenly rushing back to the
forefront of Amanda’s memory was the story Casey had told when they had first
met in the bathroom of The Strathorne.
 
“I lived here until I was six but
after my parents split, my mom moved us to Missouri because she wanted us to
have a decently normal life… but I’ve always wanted to be like my dad and
conquer every aspect of show business.
 
So I moved back here when I was thirteen.”

While Jake
stayed in Columbia, apparently.
 
Amanda’s wide-eyed gaze drifted as she tried to recall any stories about
Jake, any media coverage that he had ever gotten.
 
But her mind came up empty.

Jake gave an
awkward smile, seeming to read her mind.
 
“Yeah, you probably didn’t even know Casey had a brother.”

“She… told
me.
 
Once.”

“Oh.”
 
Jake seemed surprise.
 
“Well, she hasn’t seen me in thirteen
years.”

Amanda raised
her brows.
 
“Seriously? Why not?”
she blurted.
 
“I mean… you don’t have
to tell me that if it’s a… sensitive topic or something.”

Jake’s eyes
actually relaxed as he gave a short, sheepish laugh.
 
“Uh, I think I probably owe you as much of an explanation as
possible considering how I just had a taxi tail you.”
 
He made a face.
 
“And how weird I act around you a Starbucks.
 
I just… get afraid the paparazzi will take a picture of me.”