Harvest of Hearts (33 page)

“Hot tea would be gut. Danki.” Her voice shook.

“I’ll be right back.” Shanna walked to the small room beside the nurses’ station, where there was a coffeemaker with one coffeepot half full of thick, dark liquid, the other filled with steaming water for tea. A basket filled with packets of hot chocolate mix, various herbal teas, sweeteners, and creamers sat nearby. She thumbed through it and picked out a chamomile tea bag for Mamm. She could use something like that to calm her nerves.

Shanna needed something with caffeine, because she needed to think. Where would she go?

No worries about her family. They’d be glad to see her go. Her, and all the havoc she’d brought with her.

She sighed.

“Shanna? Girl, is that you?”

Shanna set down the cup she held and raised her eyes to the pretty, lilac-print scrubs and then to the dark-skinned face of Dionne Relefourd, an LPN who had supervised one of her clinical rotations.

“Are you crying? What’s wrong?” Dionne grabbed Shanna’s hands and pulled her away from the coffee service, through a door, and into a private conference area with couches and end tables topped with boxes of Kleenex.

Shanna wiped her eyes again. “I’m okay.” But her voice cracked. Right now, she appreciated Dionne’s solicitous ways and her habit of taking charge. Her chatter had always made the nursing clinics fun.

“Right. Then, let’s start with why you aren’t here as a nurse. Girl, you were one of the best students in the class. You could have had a job immediately! Where’d you go? Did you get to go on that mission trip, after all?”

“No, I went home. I didn’t think things through very well.” She straightened her shoulders. “But I could use a job now.”

“Obstetrics, right?” Dionne took a pen and scribbled something on a note sheet she ripped off a chart. “Talk to her when your crisis here is over,” she said, handing the paper to Shanna. “You probably don’t want to go with bloodshot eyes.”

She felt a stab of regret. Why hadn’t she thought of pursuing this kind of opportunity instead of going home, working at McDonald’s, and causing health problems for Daed? A lump formed in her throat.
Matthew.

This would be a career confirmation, of sorts. A second chance to do it right, maybe.

“Dank—thank you.” Shanna sucked in a breath. “My daed—dad had a heart attack. My mom is blaming me for it.”

“You know better. Those things happen.”

“Stress can trigger them, though. And my dad and I…we don’t always get along.” She wiped her eyes with a tissue. “I need a place to stay, too. I can’t go home again.”

“Well, that problem’s solved. You can stay with me. My roommate’s away on vacation with her family for two weeks. When she gets back, you might have to sleep on the couch, but it turns into a bed. You’d be fine for a while.”

“Thanks, Dionne. You’re a life saver.”

“And don’t you forget it, honey. But you’d better get back to your mom. I’ll go check on your dad for you. What’s his name?”

“Levi Stoltzfus.”

“I’ll send someone right out to talk to you.” Dionne reached out and wrapped Shanna in a hug. “It’ll be okay, honey. The doctors know what they’re doing. You know that. Have faith, sugar.” She walked to the door, then glanced over her shoulder. “Will you be coming home with me tonight, then? I get off work at ten.”

Shanna squared her shoulders. “Jah. I mean, yes.”

***

At the hospital, Matthew followed Joseph, Bishop Sol, and Bertha King into the waiting room to which they’d been directed. He spied Deborah sitting by herself, gripping a Styrofoam cup with both hands, as if trying to warm herself. He glanced around the room, his eyes skimming over the other people seated in chairs, but didn’t see any sign of Shanna.

Bertha walked over to Deborah, wrapped her in a hug, and whispered something in her ear. Bishop Sol, Joseph, and Matthew all sat down near the two women, Matthew perching on the edge of his chair. The bishop bowed his head in prayer. After a moment, Matthew did the same.
Lord, heal Levi, if it’s Your will. Be with Shanna.

“Mamm? Any word?” Joseph clasped his hands in front of him.

Deborah shook her head. “Shanna knows someone, a nurse. She said she’d go see. She’s waiting over there.” She pointed to a nurses’ station. Beyond it, Matthew saw Shanna pacing in front of the double doors. She wore jeans and a blue T-shirt that covered her waist, but the V-shaped neck dipped rather low in front, providing a tantalizing glimpse of…. He averted his gaze, mentally chastising himself for looking. A nurse dressed in black pants and a purple shirt stood near her, talking quietly.

After a minute or two, Matthew jumped to his feet and walked briskly over to her. Not paying any mind to the others waiting, he came up behind her and stopped her pacing by wrapping an arm around her shoulders in a hug.

She stiffened before turning to look at him. Recognition flashed in her eyes, and she sagged against him. “Ach, Matthew.” A sob caught in her throat.

He pulled her nearer. “Shh. Any word?” He directed the question to the nurse.

“He’s conscious and stable. They took him back for an EKG. He’ll need to stay in the hospital for a few days, maybe longer, depending on the results of the tests they run.”

Right. He didn’t understand much of that. An EKG—that stood for what? He didn’t ask, not wanting to appear dumb in front of Shanna.

“Is there anything else we can do for you?” the nurse asked. Her gaze flittered over him, his Amish clothes, to the others in their group, then returned to rest on Shanna.

Matthew glanced at her name tag. “Dionne, thank you for your help. How soon will we be able to see him?”

“The doctors are still evaluating him, but as soon as he’s taken back to a room, someone will come out and talk to the family.”

“Thanks again.”

Dionne nodded and winked at Shanna, then disappeared through the double doors.

Matthew wrapped his other arm around Shanna. “Are you doing okay?” He brushed a kiss over the loose hairs that swept across her forehead.

She straightened, pulling away from him. “I’m fine.”

That strange, wild look was still in her eyes. It made him nervous. He wondered what was going on in her head. “Shanna. Let’s talk—”

“I need to tell Mamm what Dionne said. She needs to know.”

“And then you’ll walk with me? We won’t go far, in case they come out with news. I saw a koffee kiosk when I came in. Would you care for one of those fancy koffees? I’ll get one for you.” He was babbling. He slammed his mouth shut.

Her head rose. The hardness in her gaze startled him. “There’s nothing to say, except I’m sorry. It won’t happen again.”

Chapter 26

Ignoring Matthew’s frown of confusion, Shanna walked over to the group of people waiting and quietly explained what she had learned concerning Daed. Matthew stood silently behind her, a source of strength, one she wished she could lean on. But she didn’t.

The bishop’s eyes surveyed her Englisch clothes, and he frowned, then looked at Matthew and raised an eyebrow. Shanna didn’t have a clue what that meant. Probably a nonverbal communication regarding her attire. She didn’t look at Matthew to see his response. Really, what did it matter? This situation with Daed spelled the end of her Amish life. Who would care how she dressed?

She went back to pacing, certain she’d wear a hole in the linoleum before someone came out with another update about Daed. Maybe she wouldn’t be a very good nurse, after all. She couldn’t handle being on the other end. Then again, maybe this would make her more empathetic, more compassionate.

“I’m going to get you a koffee, not that you need the caffeine.” Matthew stopped her at the far end of her pacing route. “Maybe a decaf?”

“A latte, please. Iced. Hazelnut, if they have it.”

A small grin flickered on his face. “Right. Maybe I’d better write that down.”

“Maybe so.” She didn’t smile. Her heart hurt, knowing she was about to break his. “They aren’t going to know what to think if you order a fancy koffee.” Ouch. That had sounded harsh. She should probably apologize.

His smile died. The light went out of his eyes. “Nein, I suppose they won’t. Iced hazelnut latte, if they have it. I shouldn’t have trouble remembering.” He walked off, shoulders firmed, back straight, and head up. He didn’t turn around. She blinked back some tears.

Fifteen minutes later, the double doors opened again and a doctor came out. He glanced down at a file. “Stoltzfus family?”

Mamm, Joseph, the bishop, and Bertha all stood. The doctor led them off to the side a little ways. Shanna trailed behind them.

“Mr. Stoltzfus is currently stable, but we’ll know more after all the tests come back in the next forty-eight hours. In the meantime, he’s been admitted for observation. We’ll be monitoring the cardiac enzymes in his blood over the next twenty-four to forty-eight hours, but I anticipate that he’ll be released in a few days.”

“Can I see him?” Mamm blurted out, her hands twisting her black apron.

“As soon as we get him settled upstairs, we’ll allow family members to see him, one at a time.”

Shanna’s eyes brimmed with tears. She fought to keep them under control, but they escaped and ran down her cheeks, anyway. Daed would be fine. She hadn’t killed him. As far as she knew, “admitted for observation” was doctor speak for “Nothing’s wrong, but we just want to make sure.”
Danki, Lord.

Even though the doctor was still talking, she slipped away from her family and the bishop and headed toward the double doors separating the ER from the rest of the hospital. She wished she could order some flowers, but they wouldn’t be allowed in an intensive care room. And that was probably where they’d take him. Nein, the time had come for her to exit his life. Their lives.

They probably wouldn’t even miss her.

e

Matthew carried two iced hazelnut lattes toward the ER waiting room. He’d mentally repeated the name of what Shanna wanted several times so he wouldn’t forget before he got to the kiosk, or while he waited in the long line.

As he came around the corner leading to the waiting room, one of the double doors opened. Shanna stepped through, tears streaming down her cheeks.

His heart stuttered. “Nein. Ach, nein.”

She blanched. “Ach. Daed’s fine. Really. I’m, uh….” She glanced around. “I’m going to look around the florist shop.”

“I’m so glad. Want some company?” He studied her in concern as he handed her the coffee and a napkin. “Your iced hazelnut latte.”

Her smile wobbled. “You remembered.” She wiped her eyes with the napkin.

“Jah. I haven’t forgotten anything I’ve learned about you.”

She lowered her eyes. “Maybe you should.” She started walking down the hall in the direction of the florist, and he followed her. “What kind of flowers do you think a man would like?” she asked.

“He’ll love anything from you.”

“Maybe carnations? They’re supposed to symbolize health and energy.”

“Really? I’ve never heard that.”

Shanna waved her hand. “Flowers have different meanings, based on the type and color. I read about it once in a magazine. Thought it was interesting.”

“Ah. So, which flower stands for ‘Ich liebe dich’?” The scent of the blossoms was overpowering. Matthew resisted the urge to hold his breath.

“A red rose.” Shanna studied the display of flower arrangements wrapped in cellophane.

“Then, out front by the porch of our haus, I’m going to plant a red rose bush.”

She picked up a vase full of red carnations and baby’s breath. “This is pretty. Daed might like this.” Then, she hesitated and turned around, her eyes widening. “What? What did you say?” She ducked her head and blushed.

He hoped the blush was a positive sign.

“You don’t give up, do you?”

“Nein reason to.”

“I don’t understand why you want me.” She put the vase back on the shelf. “I can’t order any.” Her voice cracked.