Authors: Janice Kay Johnson
Nina's vision of Scott shifted as she tried to picture the arrangement in their household. Bethany worked twice as hard to get Scott to notice her contribution. Meanwhile Scott seemed content to let her so he could do good works.
“Sounds like being the perfect couple is taking a toll,” Nina said before she edited it in her mind.
Crap.
“Sorry. What I mean is that you two are both working so hard, making a positive difference in the community. But when you're striving in opposite directions, it must be hard to reconnect.”
She knew she was oversimplifying. Yet she felt compelled to point out something positive about their relationship. Scott and Bethany weren't the kind of people who should split up. They had always been such a force to be reckoned with, organizing family reunions or fun-runs to raise money for local families who fell on hard times.
“I'm sure it would be difficultâif we
tried.
” Bethany's voice broke, a small sob escaping. “But when we don't try, of course, it's totally impossible.” She clamped her lips shut as if to hold back another outburst. Then she stuffed a big bite of cupcake into her mouth.
There was no mistaking the frustration in her voice stemmed from more than anger. It hinted at a deep love and a deep hurt. Because who got that upset about someone they didn't care about?
Nina weighed her words, not wanting to say the wrong thing.
She must have taken too long, though, because Bethany shook her head and blurted, “I have no right to burden you with my problems when I haven't seen you in so long, Nina. It's just that I'm not close to my family and I can't talk about Scott to anyone at work because, well, he's the boss here. You know? I would never undermine him like that.” She blinked fast. “I don't want to chase you off talking about my problems. It was so nice of you to stop by today.”
“I'm glad to see you, too. I used to be so sure you'd be my sister-in-law one day, and maybe a part of me still looks up to you like that.” She reached across the table to give Bethany's arm a quick squeeze. “I hate that you're going through such a rough patch right now.”
“This year has been a real wake-up call for me. But I'm sure I'll find a way to...get through it.” Her shaky smile didn't seem one bit certain about that.
“I don't mean to overstep, but have you considered talking to a counselor about it? I'm not close with my family, either, and a counselor helped me deal with some of my issues after I left Heartache.” Nina had visited the counseling office at Manhattan College, working through Vince's death and her parents' abandonment in those first lonely years away from Mack. Those events still hurt, but she'd learned how to deal with them better. She took more time making big decisions, waiting to be sure she wasn't reacting based on emotion.
She hadn't even peeled out of New York at the first sign of trouble. Not until she'd spoken to her grandmother and found out about Gram's health did she decide to return home. She'd discussed it rationally with her landlord and made practical arrangements for the furniture.
“I asked Scott to go to therapy with me once, but he's convinced that counselors are only for people like his mom who have more...overt issues.” Bethany straightened her phone on the picnic table beside the walkie-talkie. Then straightened the walkie-talkie. The stress practically hissed off her.
“Have you seen much of Scott's mother since Mr. Finley died?” Nina wondered if it was common for her to lock the door when visitors came over. Or if it was just part of her illness. “His loss must have been hard on her. On all of you.”
Had Bethany been the recipient of the same kind of scathing set-downs that Mrs. Finley had given Nina long ago? She couldn't imagine how difficult it would be to have your husband's mother be so antagonistic toward you. Her stomach still clenched tight to remember Mack's mother's words from that night.
“She's done better than expected, but her doctor has been monitoring her closely. And while her problems have taken their toll on us, for the most part, we've been able to deal with those.” She started to play with her cupcake again, turning it in a half circle and setting it down. Then rotating it another ninety degrees. “The bigger issues are the ones he and I create.”
Nina wished she had answers for Bethany. What if she could have talked like this to her mother before her parents had separated? Would their reasons for splitting have seemed so...thin? Granted, she was no marriage expert. But if you weren't going to battle hard for a happily-ever-after, why stand in front of the world and God and promise to do just that? Especially when a child was involved?
“What does he say when you tell him how you feel?” She folded her discarded cupcake wrapper and tilted her face into the Tennessee sunshine. It was so beautiful here. In New York, the days were turning cold.
At the thought of New York, she imagined tabloid journalists haunting the corner near her storefront, waiting for news of Olivia, her elopement and the jilted socialite bride. One more love affair gone wrong.
“He doesn't even hear me.” Bethany's voice broke but she recovered herself, waving away the offer of a tissue from Nina's purse. “He gave me lilacs for my birthday last year. Three days late, too, but...lilacs!”
“You don't like lilacs?” Nina must be missing something.
“I'm allergic!” Bethany's raised voice was thready and upset. “I had a major allergic reaction to them two years ago and he has zero recollection of that fact. How much more proof do I need of his indifference when he doesn't even care if his gifts send me to the emergency room?”
“He must have felt bad when he remembered the allergy.” Nina didn't know what else to say. Men could be forgetful and clueless. But Scott always seemed so well meaning. She wasn't sure Bethany would thank her for standing up for him just now, though.
“I wouldn't know how he felt. He was in Nashville with his mom that day. I got the flowers from a delivery truck and went into anaphylactic shock. His sister took me to the hospital and picked up Ally from school.”
Oh, Scott.
Did he have any idea how close his marriage was to imploding? Nina's heart squeezed tight for both of them. She wanted to ask more, to find out how Ally was doing, but Bethany stood abruptly.
“I'm so embarrassed for talking about me the whole time, Nina. We need a girl date where guy talk is off-limits. But there's the delivery I was expecting.” She pointed to a tractor trailer just pulling into the parking lot, its smokestack puffing a gray cloud into an otherwise blue sky. “I should reallyâ”
Her walkie-talkie crackled to life, a woman's voice suddenly blaring from it.
“Mrs. Finley?”
“I see the truck, Grace. I'm coming.” Bethany gave Nina an apologetic look as she got to her feet.
“I'll let you get back to work.” Nina rose, careful not to split the skirt of her sheathe dress as she hopped off the picnic table bench seat.
Grace's voice crackled again. “It's The Strand Salon on the phone for you, ma'am. They said it's urgent. Ally is hurt and they need you to come down there right away.”
* * *
M
ACK
HATED
HOSPITALS
.
He shoved through the main doors downstairs at the facility in Franklin, a full half-hour drive from Heartache. He understood why Bethany had brought Ally here after the girl had cut herselfâpurposelyâat work today. But damn it. The scent of antiseptic and bleach always brought him back to the nights as a kid when his mom had an “accident” with her medicine.
Or later, when he'd brought Jenny to this very same hospital.
His phone vibratedâas it had every five minutes with a text from his mother asking for an update. Stalking toward the elevators, he pulled his phone out of his back pocket, tempted to heave the thing across the reception area so he didn't have to answer it anymore. Didn't have to pretend everything was okay for his mom's sake.
“Mack?”
Nina's voice stopped him. She appeared out of the crowd on his left, her red linen dress and heels making it apparent she hadn't planned to spend her day in a hospital, yet here she was. Her expression looked as worried as he felt inside.
And he couldn't deny a rush of relief to see her, even if he still wondered what had gotten into him when he'd asked her out again. She'd always be a restless spirit with notions of the white picket fence and family he'd never be able to fill.
“Hey.” He shoved his phone back in his pocket, another text already causing it to vibrate. “Thank you for coming.”
She gave a jerky nod, a caramel-colored strand of her hair teasing her cheek while the elevator doors swept open and a crowd of people carrying flowers and “get well” balloons rushed to fill it.
“I was with Bethany when she got the call that Ally hadâ” she gave a helpless shrug “âhurt herself.” She breathed out a shuddering sigh. “I feel so bad for their whole family. Bethany was close to the breaking point even before the call. I drove her to the salon because there's no way she could have gotten behind the wheel.”
“Thank you. You don't seem that steady yourself.” Unable to stop himself, he reached for her hand. Squeezed it. “How are you holding up?”
Seeing her fingers wrapped around his helped to settle him even if it didn't do a damn thing for her. He had to be careful. It was one thing to ask her out to dinner so they could put the past to rest. But having her here, with his family, stirred up so much more.
He wished they wanted the same things. But he'd be leaving Heartache soon and he could never fulfill the longing she had to have a real family of her own. She deserved it after what she'd gone through with her parents, never having siblings and barely having her parents in her life. But Mack's family had created so many problems for him that he refused to recreate the same situation with children of his own. He'd visited shrinks plenty of times over the years just to be sure his occasional bad days were normal. Level. He wasn't about to pass on those fears to a kid.
“I'm okay.” She let go of his hand to retrieve some tissue from a leather purse tucked under one arm. “I drove her and Ally here because Bethany didn't want to call an ambulance, and I didn't blame her. Ally's arms had stopped bleeding by then.”
The weight of what his niece was going through him hit him like a semitruck.
“I got a text from Scott.” He didn't mention the thirty texts he'd received from his mother.
“He beat us to the ER so he was able to help Bethany when we arrived. I stayed down here to wait for you because I didn't want to be in the way, and I knew coming here would beâ” she gestured to the waiting room “âtough.”
Nina must remember him telling her about the nights as a kid when his dad would wake them up so he could drive their mom here. She didn't know about that darkest of ER visits with Jenny.
“The toughest part is realizing that Ally could be facing the same kinds of issues Mom does.” The elevator doors swished open and an orderly pushed a wheelchair with a smiling young mom holding a newborn wrapped in pink. A dad juggling bags and flowers sprinted out ahead of them, car keys jingling.
“You don't thinkâ” Nina bit her lip, her gaze lingering on the pink bundle before returning to him. “That never occurred to me. I guess I just figured...I don't know. Teenage angst.”
Unlike him, who saw mood disorders everywhere he looked.
He nodded toward the stairs. “Do you mind if we walk up?”
“That's fine.” Nina double-checked her phone. “Ally is waiting for a consultation from a dermatology specialist upstairs, but Bethany said we could meet in the fourth-floor waiting area.”
“Did Ally say much on the ride here?”
“No. The ride was so silent I intruded with babble just to make noise or make it less awkward. But then I thought maybe I was the only one who felt really awkward.”
“There's a lot of silence going around in that house.” He reached in front of Nina to shove open the door to the stairs, the scent of her vanilla fragrance stirring memories in spite of the hellish day. Didn't it figure she would smell incredibly edible?
His phone vibrated. He cursed.
“If you need to take it in private,” Nina offered, “I can meet you upstairs.”
“It's not that. It's Mom.” The door fell shut behind them and they started to climb. Mack withdrew his phone again and checked the message. “She's had a rough year since Dad's death and I'm...” He blew out a pent-up breath. “I'm not Scott. I can't provide constant reassurance. I justâcan't. I'll send her a note when we get upstairs.”
Nina was quiet.
“I know that makes me a heel.” What decent guy ignored his own mother?
“God, no,” she confided, her frankness something he'd always enjoyed about her. “I can totally identify with drawing boundaries when you have a strained relationship with your parents. I just didn't realize you'd reached that point with your mom.”
Long ago. Mack had left town before his mother had found the right mix of medications that seemed to be helping her more lately. But unfortunately, he hadn't found a new, healthy way to relate to her. Avoidance had become his go-to coping mechanism.
“You remember she ended up in the hospital after Vince's accident.” One of many reasons he never could have gone to New York with her.
* * *
N
INA
TRIED
NOT
to let her jaw hit the floor at Mack's comment. Had he honestly just said that?
“Of course I remember. That was one of many things I blamed myself for in those months after we broke up.” She'd been devastated when he'd told her his mom had been hospitalized. That was in the first few weeks after Nina had left town, when they'd still been speaking.