Authors: Lisa Plumley
Kara closed her eyes. Hoisted by her own words. She could try to get to know Ash as he was now, instead of expecting him to behave like he had done seven years ago. âI suppose we can play but no wagering. We have gone beyond that sort of thing.'
âCoward.' He gave a wicked smile, the sort that made her insides go liquid. âAren't you even going to ask what the wager was?'
Kara tilted her head and tried to control the pounding in her heart. Her entire traitorous body longed to know what the wager was and if it involved touching Ash and feeling his skin against hers. It would be so easy to melt into his embrace, particularly if she had no choice in the matter.
She straightened her spine and forced her feet to stay still. âHow am I a coward?'
âYou challenge me, but then you run so you can sit up on your lonely mountaintop of female superiority, telling all the world that I forced you into a corner and that was why you surrendered.'
Her cheeks burnt. âAm I that obvious?'
âNo, I'm greedy.' He bowed low. âI want to possess all of you rather than simply enjoying your body for one night.'
He was gone before she could utter a word in protest or explain why even one night would be a bad idea.
She lent her fevered brow against the cool panelling as her lips ached. Logic and not emotion. She had to think clearly, rather than consider the shape of his mouth and if the bristles on his chin remained as soft as they had been before.
Rurik needed a father, someone who could properly train him.
She had made the right decision, but she knew what she wanted from her life's partner and it was very different from what she had wanted as a young girl. But she had to give Ash a chance. She wanted to see if it was more than desire or the memory of what had once passed between them. Why had everything become so complicated now that Ash had returned?
Chapter Eleven
âI'
ve brought the tafl board to you,' Kara said, setting the board down next to where Ash sat in the great hall, engaged in an engrossing discussion with one of his men.
The remains of the welcome feast were spread out before him. Kara doubted if Ash had even realised that she had gone from the table. Just before she left, he had seemed utterly absorbed in the conversation about rigging sails. Further confirmation that Ash had no intention of staying here for the long term.
He wanted her to be a custodian of the estate and carry out his orders when he was gone. It wasn't going to happen like that. It was why she had rejected several suitors earlier in the year. She knew what she wanted and all she had to do was to stick to her well-considered plan and keep her heart out of it.
Ash immediately broke off his conversation and turned towards her. His face lit up with some secret amusement. âYou returned, Kara. I thought we might have to send out a search party.'
His friend laughed. âYou've no idea how worried his lordship was, my lady. I've never seen him this perturbed. No, I lie. Once before when he worried about a Ranerike attack. His caution proved right that day. He kept turning his head and looking for you, even when he denied it. Normally he has no eyes for a skirt or a sultry smile. We used to wonder why and now we know. He left a beautiful lady at home.'
Ash banged his fist on the table. âSaxi! Enough!'
Ash had ignored other women? Kara forced a breath and recited the names of Ash's mistresses before their marriage. Hring had made sure she knew about each and every one.
Had none come after her? She dampened down the sudden spark of hope. She must be realistic rather than grasp illusions of romance. It would be because he had been determined to regain his honour and didn't have time, rather than because he had been pining for her. But she found it impossible to silence the insistent little voice that whispered,
He seems
to care now
.
âYou did say you wanted a game and this is the perfect time.' Kara slid back into her place and attempted to control her heart's fierce beating.
It had seemed simple enough in the kitchen where she'd retreated under the guise of checking the stores after she'd checked that Rurik was truly asleep and not watching the feast from some hidden vantage point. Playing the game in front of everyone would ensure that it remained an innocent game, rather than turning into one of wagers and forfeits in the bedroom. Being alone together with a bed nearby would have compounded her mistakes. Falling into his bed would make the situation worse rather than better despite what her body screamed or what her dreams promised.
Trust and mutual regard were the necessary ingredients for a happy marriage. She had made a list after Hring died. Nothing had happened to change her determination to have that contentment. The joining of bodies was simply passion and passion faded.
âPerfection depends on your point of view.' His eyes deepened to a midnight blue. âI'd hoped for later, but we can play now. Test our skill against each other and see how well matched we are.'
âThe skald can sing as we play.' Kara opted for a bright smile as warmth flickered throughout her body. She could remember how well matched they were in bed. It was outside of the bedroom which bothered her. âWho knows, maybe we can create a tournament and get others involved? We had one three winters ago with your father. He found it very enjoyable.'
A faint smile played on Ash's lips. âAnd who was the overall champion? My father again? He always enjoyed being the champion and sulked if anyone else won.'
âI was, much to your uncle's disgust and your father's amusement.'
âMy uncle and father were alike in many ways. Both of them hated losing.'
Kara stared at the tafl board, remembering the tournament. âYour uncle, though, knows when he is beaten. Your father never liked to admit it.'
âMy uncle tends to be pragmatic. You have nothing to fear from him.' He put his hand over hers. âI enjoy playing more when there is a challenge.'
She withdrew her hand. If she wanted to show Ash her skill, she would need all her wits about her. âThen you agree, we shall play here. In front of everyone.'
His look became one of mock innocence. âWhere else is there to play? You must enlighten me some day, Wife.'
âYou are teasing me now because you want to put me off my game.' She glanced up and tumbled into his dark blue gaze. âI know all of your tricks, Ash.'
âI hope not all of them,' he murmured. âShall we begin and see if I can match your winning form?'
The game started well. Kara rapidly saw that Ash was a skilful tafl player, perhaps even better than his father. But she wasn't worried. She had spent hours in the last few winters pitting her wits against Hring and everyone else. There was something therapeutic about playing, rather than wasting energy worrying about whether they had enough grain or if the trees would be felled at the proper time. And she had missed the challenge since Hring's death. The two times she had played Valdar, she had easily won. Ash was rightâthere was little challenge in always winning.
She glanced down at the board. His basic strategy was one she had encountered before several times with Hring. His father's son. She made the correct countermove and captured a piece. âDid you play much tafl when you were away?'
âOnce I managed to save a man's life with a tafl game.'
âWas he a good man?' Kara leant forward, eager to know more about his life.
âBetter than me.'
âWhy? Why was he better?' she asked.
âHe had simply been unlucky. He bore no shame of causing other men's deaths.'
âWhat was he to you?'
âMy lord. He had plucked me up from obscurity.'
âWhy did you play instead of him?'
âHe had a head injury. My shield had connected with his head. But then he was a hopeless tafl player and I knew if I won, I could bargain for our freedom. But if he lost, we were all dead.'
âAnd you won.' She saw from his face he had. âDid he forgive you? You saved his life.'
âHis wife and two children forgave me when I brought him home. But I had to find another master.' He shrugged as if it was nothing. âGudrun appears to be missing from the festivities.'
âGudrun departed this afternoon. I offered her a cottage.' Kara noted the change of subject. Some day, he would trust her enough to tell her. âShe is grateful for the cottage and has taken Virvir with her to fetch and carry.'
âYou sent Virvir with her? Interesting.'
âOn reflection, it seemed better than banishing him. He couldn't stay at the hall. He has caused so much mischief since he arrived after his parents' death ten months ago. The roof incident was the final straw.'
âBanishment rarely works,' Ash said, moving his king piece and neatly capturing one of her pieces. âHe will have less time on his hands. Allow Rurik to see Virvir, Kara.'
âAre you giving advice beyond the training ground now?' Kara dropped her piece and hurriedly moved another one. âYou must be joking. You know where his mischief led. They have to be kept separate. I won't have that boy ruining my son.'
âOur son.' He raised his hand. âHear me out. Please. Then you decide.'
Kara reluctantly nodded.
âAll you will do is to create temptation by forbidding something. Rurik will get used to defying you. Virvir is his best friend at the moment. I used to defy my father to see my friends.'
Kara rolled her eyes. âYou're spouting nonsense.'
He covered her hand with his. A warm current ran up her arm. âI speak from experience. Rurik needs time to create a new god to worship. In time he will see this Virvir for the false friend that he surely is, but you have to allow him the opportunity to make that discovery on his own.'
âYou? You want to be his new god?' she enquired softly, clenching her hands together. She couldn't allow her attraction to Ash to override her judgement. She knew what it was like to have Ash as a god and how he could destroy with casual indifference. âDo you still need to be worshipped?'
âHardly.' He shrugged and moved another piece. âOne of my men would be better. Someone he can look up to rather than a father who is lacking.'
âAnd here you are, the person who saved a man's life with a tafl match.'
âSaxi might do,' he said by way of answer. âHe had children once. Right now Rurik spouts all sorts of nonsense about Virvir says this or that when he is holding his sword or bow wrong. He watched us in training this morning with your woman, rather than helping with the grain, and I took the opportunity to quiz him.'
Kara wrinkled her nose. Thora was supposed to have been keeping an eye on him. She supposed Thora couldn't resist watching the warriors. And Ash had always been one to take advantage of opportunities. âRurik doesn't know how to hold a bow.'
âI agree. His fingering is all wrong. He will never be able to kill any prey or hit any target beyond the barn door, if he continues to hold it in that way. But he insists that Virvir has shown him the true way.'
âAn accident in the making,' Kara said, pressing her lips together and rapidly moving one of her pieces. Rurik had been using a bow and arrow without her permission. He had climbed without her permission. What else had he done?
âYou can see why he needs to be properly trained. He needs to learn not to point the arrow at anyone except if he is in battle.' Ash neatly captured another of her pieces.
Kara frowned. This match was not turning out how she had planned. âHe is too young, Ash.'
âBut he desperately wants to be a warrior and he is a boy. He wants to have a hero. A man to look up to. I'm not speaking about sending him into battle or off to sea, but giving him the skills to survive.'
âHow do you know so much about boys?'
He laughed. The rich sound warmed her down to her toes. âI was one once.'
âWhat happened when your heroes turned out not to be what you thought they were? When they left you?' she asked, concentrating on his face rather than on the board. Ash had to understand how it hurt when it turned out the hero you worshipped was simply ordinary and very flawed. She knew intimately how much that ached.
âAre you asking for Rurik or for yourself?' His fingers cupped her cheek.
âI want to know if you remember the feeling,' she said and kept her head absolutely still, resisting the temptation to turn her lips towards his palm.
âIt hurt,' Ash admitted with a long sigh, releasing her. âYou can't protect Rurik from every hurt or sorrow, Kara. You will drive yourself mad. You need to relax and trust your son's judgement. He is an intelligent boy. No one is perfect. It is wrong to make a man into a god and then hate him when he turns out to be a man. Now take your turn.'
Kara's hand trembled on her king piece. It was easy for Ash to criticise. He only saw Rurik as he was nowâwell and strong. She had seen him struggle for his breath and the terrible colds he suffered each winter. She had nursed him through each illness until even her bones trembled with weariness.
âI've lost interest in this game.' She put down the piece. âThere are a thousand things I need to do before I retire. Perhaps it is best we end it here.'
âRunning away won't change the truth. I learnt that lesson long ago.' Ash put his hands behind his head. âAre you giving up this easily? I never took you for someone who quit at the first sign of losing. It was one of the reasons I wanted to marry you in the first place. You never wanted to quit. Have you changed that much?'
Kara peered at the board. She could win, just. And he was right. She hated quitting and admitting defeat. âI've just begun to fight.'
She rapidly took one of his pieces to show that she could.
âGood. Let me try this, Kara.' He leant forward. âLet me follow my instinct with Rurik. I promise you only good will come of it. Give me permission. Let me fight for our son.'
How very like Ash! Agreeing to one thing and then asking for more. But she could understand why he asked it and at least he was asking.
âThe last time I let you follow your instinct, you were gone for seven years.'
âCircumstances beyond my control.' He gestured about him. âHad I known all this waited for me, I would have tried harder to get home.'
Something inside her melted. Ash had offered her an apology of sorts. And he liked it here. âI'll take it into consideration.'
The firelight lit the planes in his face, highlighting his cheekbones. His eyes had turned into pools of the summer sea. He wore the identical expression as Rurik when he'd begged to be trained. âPlease, Kara.'
Her heart tugged. She hated that Ash might be correct about Rurik and his hero-worship. And he was abiding by her decision, rather than begging forgiveness after the fact. It was a question of the lesser of two evils. âVery well, I won't forbid Virvir, but it is up to you to keep Rurik safely occupied.'
âGood.' Ash expertly took her king piece. âThis match is now mine.'
Kara stared at it in dismay. âHow did you do that?'
A smile kissed his mouth. âMy father taught you well, Kara, but I know that gambit that you used. You're far too cautious and seek safety when it is an illusion. I waited for you to make a mistake. I never give up even when things appear blackest.'
âYou have no idea how I play.' She raised her eyes to his. âNot now.'
A muscle twitched in his jaw. âI've made a careful study over the past few days. You are a fascinating woman, Kara. Endlessly fascinating.'
Her mouth ached to be kissed. She kept her gaze on the board. âA warning that you don't play fair?'
âI preferâtaking advantage of every opportunity and having the patience to wait for the right one.' He gave a half-smile. âIt makes life easier.'