Harkham's Choice (Harkham's Series Book 2) (2 page)

“I know. It’s not enough.” He hummed.

“But when I didn’t live here, you slept alone every night. What’s changed?”

“I wanted to be in a bed with you then, too, but it wasn’t an option. Now it is. Stop leaving my bed.” He sighed like he was content to stay here forever.

“I knew this was a bad idea . . . I never should have started sleeping in your bed each night. This isn’t good for you to be this dependent, and we’re gonna get caught. I need to get a job immediately and get my own place,” she said and stopped the light touches on his back and neck.

“No!” He flipped over and held her head still with one hand while peering deeply in her eyes. “Stay.”

“How can I? Your dad’s never gonna allow you to sleep with me every night, and I can’t let you sleep in the hallway outside my door.” She stroked his bottom lip with her thumb, then kissed it.

“I’ll convince him. And, besides, we’re not sleeping together, because it’s not sex.”

She grinned. “That’s right—this is not about sex at all,” she said with a facetious tone.

“This
is
all about sex. It’s all I want to be the happiest me I can be—lots and lots of yummy Mari sex—but he doesn’t have to know that bit. I’ll keep quiet about it this time.” Her face dropped. He cleared his throat and added, “This isn’t lying—I’m not doing that. I’m just making sure I keep private things private.” He smiled like he had it all figured out and he was the smartest man in the world.

He
was
, but still . . .

“Your dad remembers what it was like to be a horny young guy. He’s gonna say no without even considering it.” She moved his hand off her head and pushed herself up to sitting.

“How do you know?” He sat up, too.

She straightened out her clothes and hair.

“Because—I wouldn’t allow it if you were my kid—not under my roof if you weren’t married. He has standards and expects you to uphold them.” She stood up. They were gonna be late to school.

“That’s an ancient way of thinking. We’re living in today’s world where people have sex without being married.” He paused, and his shoulders sagged. “And I wanna be part of them. Either that or we head back to Vegas. No turning around this time until it’s done.”

“We’ve discussed this. Vegas isn’t an option.”

He grinned. “Fine by me. I don’t need to be married to have sex.”

She smirked back. “Oh, you plan to be promiscuous, huh? I’m sure that’ll make Daddy proud.”

Adam looked up at her and scowled. “It’s not funny. Do you know how much it hurts me that I can’t have you when we both want it? It’s one hundred times worse than being denied soda! What the hell are we waiting for?”

She chuckled. He was so adorable when he was sexually frustrated, and as sexy as any man could be. Not to mention he seemed to forget every conversation they’d had about this subject before. Why was that so endearing?

“We’re waiting because we both know it’s the right thing to do. You’re not gonna die if you don’t ejaculate around the clock.”

His lips shook, and he grimaced. “I might. It
feels
like I’m gonna die from exploding in my pants. I have to have you, Mari.” He looked at her with those lost, pleading, animalistic eyes. “It’s the reason I even breathe anymore—to be with you and someday be able to show you how much I love you with every part of me.” His hands dropped to the floor. “Can’t you see how it’s killing me?”

She groaned and slid to the floor. “It’s only a few more months. You’re so strong, sweetie. I know we can do this the right way, and we can both finally be proud that we didn’t take shortcuts. We followed the rules and we benefited from it.”

“How?”

“Huh?” Her brows came together.

“Benefit, how? I don’t see any fucking benefit from waiting!” He flung his arms up in the air, and his hands smacked down onto his thighs.

She swallowed a chuckle, and it landed low in her belly. “Cursing regularly now? I need to watch what I say, because you’re sounding too much like me.”

“Don’t change the subject.” He gripped his knees. “And I always thought those words in my head but kept from saying them. Now that I’m allowed to be more
me
around here, I’ll talk as I please.”

He cocked his head at her, waiting for her to explain.

“You want me to list benefits?”

“Yes.” He adjusted himself, unashamed of his semi.

“Okay, how about this . . . In the future, once we’re married and when we come here for every Thanksgiving and Christmas, your dad won’t see me as the girl that trashed her son’s innocence.”

He rolled his eyes. “You need to come up with something better than that, because I know he wouldn’t hold a grudge, and he’d be fine with it in time.”

“How about—I never wanted to be married
ever
, so I need time to adjust to thinking about this. And even though I know I want to be with you forever too, I don’t relish the idea of being married in high school.”

His eyes dropped. “I embarrass you. That’s what this is all about. You’re okay with people at school thinking this is temporary, but if they know it’s permanent, well, then you look like a fool.” He bit his trembling lip and started rocking back and forth.

“No!” she said, scurrying toward him and flinging her arms around him. “I don’t give a damn what anyone at school thinks. I hate all those morons!” She hissed a few stronger curse words and somehow balled herself up and found her way into his lap. She cupped his jaw. “It has nothing to do with what anybody thinks outside your family.”

“You promise?” He blinked like he was forbidding tears from coming out.

“I promise you on your virginity, I’m not lying.”

He grabbed her hand on his face and pushed it into his skin harder, like he wanted to tattoo the impression of her palm into his skin. “I still need to know more benefits, because I’m sick of waiting. It’s too painful.”

She sighed, big and heavy, her chest rounding, then concaving. “I didn’t want to tell you this, but I’ve been thinking . . .” She glanced around her room. What if this made him lose it? What if he trashed Zach’s room? How would she contain him? “Don’t freak out, hum some music while I tell you this . . .”

He obeyed immediately without asking why.

“I want to find your mom. I want her to be at our small wedding, and that’s going to take time.”

His expression was blank.

It was like he saw past her.

“Adam?” She could tell he was breathing, and his heart rate seemed normal.

“Shhh . . . Thinking,” he said in a terse tone.

She tucked her head into him and played with his sparse, but sexy as hell, chest hairs.

“Okay, but we’re gonna be late, and I know you hate that,” she whispered.

“It’s healthy to ditch now and again,” he said woodenly.

This wasn’t him. At least, not outside that crazy Vegas trip he tried to take her on.

Stupid! You should’ve never brought
her
up. They never talk about their mom. At least not when they’re all together. Way to go . . . He’s about to go ballistic, and it’s your fault. Just sleep with the guy now and get it over with. You’re too exhausted. You can’t keep doing this . . .

She inhaled deeply, taking in his scent that was always stronger after he’d been sleeping.

His arms slowly wrapped around her, and he began to rock them. Hums kept going, but she could tell he was crying.

“I’m sorry . . .” She cried, too.

For him, for his family, his mom’s absence and how much this was hurting him—all of it.

“Okay, we’ll wait . . .” he said after a few moments of holding her tightly bound against him. “But I need you to kiss me every day like you mean it—like it’s a kiss that’s gonna last forever, just like us. And I have to feel it all the way down to my toes, because if I don’t, I feel lost. And I don’t like feeling that way.”

“I can definitely do that for you, love.”

He squeaked. “I can too, sweetie.”

She stroked his stomach. “Are you taking my endearment from me?”

“Yeah. You’ve made a new one, and I think I like this one even better. I hope you’ll use it around other people, because they need to know I’m your love.”

She looked up at his consuming gaze, and it made her stomach twist, so she practiced right then, giving him a kiss that would douse him from head to toe in overwhelming feelings of pure bliss.

He put her on her back and simulated with their clothes on what they’d be doing five seconds after they were married, because who needed a reception? Not them.

* * *

They showed up to school late that day, but Adam was unconcerned by it.

He was growing so much—able to adjust to his surroundings easier every day. The entire day went smoothly, and he was in a good mood.

That night at home, Samara was quiet as their dad cooked dinner. She sat at the counter and merely watched as Mari and Adam assisted him.

“We need to find Mom,” Adam blurted to his dad while chopping carrots.

His dad swallowed and went rigid. “Why?”

“We want her to be at our wedding, the day after we graduate,” Adam explained.

Now Mari was the one gulping and stiffening. They’d never discussed a date. The speed of his brain and how it worked was astounding. Truthfully, there was no objection to the day after, but where did that come from?

She mused internally over how he probably calculated it down to the second when he could have her in his bed and they could both end their celibate misery.

She had been so close this morning to giving in . . . She certainly wanted to as much as he wanted her to, but it always felt wrong to dirty him like that. He was more than a gorgeous guy and an easy lay. He was everything wonderful and needed to be treated special.

“I have no idea where your mother is. It’s not like she left a forwarding address,” his dad said flatly, then went back to attending to the meal.

“We need to look for her,” Adam insisted.

“You don’t think I’ve tried?” His dad’s voice shook. It was shocking to hear—he was always so measured and in control. “I’ve hired private investigators, and no one can find her. It’s like she disappeared off the face of this planet.”

“The planet doesn’t have a face—not like the moon,” Adam corrected.

His dad gave a hint of a smile.

“I think I know what you mean,” Adam said and bit the corner of his lip like he was trying to conceal his smirk.

Mari nudged him and grinned widely. “So cute!” she whispered and tweaked his nose.

“Can Mari and I try? Would that be all right?” Adam asked him.

“I honestly don’t know why you would even want to,” Samara mumbled. “Not after how it ended with her.”

Adam stopped and turned to her. “Because it wasn’t her fault.”

“It was too!” Samara said, sitting up a little straighter, her eyes going black. Her white teeth flashed.

“How? She didn’t know I was gonna go berserk. I’m sure she was scared of what I might do next. I don’t blame her for leaving. I want to apologize and tell her she can be in our family, with me keeping a respectable distance.”

“She’s never gonna do it. You know it’s not going to work,” Samara said, shaking her head in disbelief.

“Well, I can try!” Adam said. “Besides, I’m trying out for the basketball team tomorrow, and if I make it, then maybe Mom can come see one of my games, too.”

His dad set a hand on his shoulder. “You can try to contact her—nobody’s going to stop you. You have my blessing to invite her to any family functions you wish and to join any after-school sports teams. Just don’t expect me to go anywhere near her if she shows up to any function that I’m at. I don’t want anything to do with her. Not anymore.” There was a trace of heavy despair in his eyes, but he went back to finishing the meal like he was no worse off than when they first began.

Only his fist held the spoon much tighter than was needed, and his tendons stood out on his neck.

Mari looked away to give him a moment and to avoid prying.

“The whole family can ignore her if they want, but Mari and I want her there. Who knows if Mari’s own mom will show up,” Adam said.

Mari’s heart sunk.

She hadn’t thought of that. He was right. She might not have any friends or family there at all.

Depressing.

Suddenly, she’d rather just go to City Hall this weekend and have a Justice of the Peace do it. Less stressful.

And then she could deflower him like some deranged, debauched villain. Get back to being a bad girl, since she seemed to excel at that particular role.

Chapter 2

“Adam, we’ve gotta go, you maniac,” Zach said, tugging on his shirt.

“Just one more minute . . .” Adam hunched over the computer. “I’m so
close
.” He was tired from basketball practice today, yet jumpy because he’d found out he made the team. Really, though, his legs were bouncing with excitement because of something else entirely.