Hardline (14 page)

  
Too wiped out to push him, I simply went through the motions. It was a remembered feeling, one I had brought on myself not so long ago when we’d been separated under very different circumstances. All of it wore on me now. I hated not knowing what he was thinking, and a part of me was afraid of what he’d say if I dared ask. I needed to believe that we’d get through this, that there was a light at the end of this tunnel. If I thought for a second that we couldn’t—that we wouldn’t—I wasn’t sure I could go on.
 

  
Gradually people pulled up their chairs, and I jotted down some last minute notes. I pushed down all the fears, silently refusing to let the events of the weekend derail my entire day. Despite everything, we had work to do, and I had to push on.
 

  
James dropped into the seat opposite Blake. The air grew thick around me, filling the space between them. It crackled with their distaste for one another. The clarity I was grasping scattered when I caught Blake’s stare. James shifted in his seat as Blake leveled a look so venomous, I wouldn’t have been surprised to find them at each other’s throats, literally, in a matter of seconds.
 

  
I cursed inwardly, questioning how Blake had convinced me to let him drive this meeting knowing James would be there too, right in the thick of it. I might have guessed that Blake would be looking for an opportunity to meet him head on, to start something that he could finish.
 

  
I hurried to speak and shift their attention to the matters at hand.

  
“This weekend Blake and I met with a prospective partner, Alex Hannon, who’s given us the go-ahead to refer ecommerce sales to his site, in return for increased exposure and commissions for us. We’re still working out the finer details, but this is a huge break for our growth, to expand beyond what we’ve been doing and broaden our reach. We’ll need to make some adjustments to our platform to maximize this opportunity
.
”

  
“Any updates with advertisers?” James asked, tempering my good news with the cold reality of the hit we’d already taken as a result of the competing site’s endeavors.
 

  
Alli chimed in. “No one else has pulled their account since last week, so maybe Risa’s grabbed all the low-hanging fruit, so to speak. Hopefully the rest remain loyal through this expansion.”
 

  
I masked a grimace. I had a few other choice monikers for Risa I would have rather used.

  
“What’s the timeline?” Chris, our resident Hawaiian shirt-wearing developer, spoke up.
 

  
“As soon as possible. I know it’ll be tricky to build this out while maintaining what we have. But I figure with what we’ve been through with the hacking attempts, we can multi-task easily on this. Sid, can you start looking into their API?”

  
Blake offered him a stack of papers. “I have the documentation for you. Alex and I went through it. Should be pretty straightforward to implement.”
 

  
Sid reached for it, his eyes wide. I cracked a small smile, not quite ready to celebrate but grateful at least to have Sid’s interest. Seeing the plan moving forward was a little scary. I was wandering into uncharted waters, but this was what we had to do. Sink or swim, and I was determined that we would survive. This opportunity with Alex promised to be the lifeline we needed.
 

  
The rest of the meeting went well as I divvied up tasks among everyone. In the process I began to feel more grounded than I had been. I’d only been away the weekend, but I’d returned completely off kilter. Being with the team again had grounded me, and I was eager to dig into this new work. The tension rolling off Blake had eased, so maybe the same was true for him. Still, James sent me a few concerning looks. As always, he knew something was up, that I was off. Except I had no idea how I’d ever tell him why. A weary sigh left me. What I wouldn’t give to turn back time.

  
The meeting ended and people began to disperse. I gathered my notes, preparing to return to my desk and dive into my day.
 

  
“We need to talk.”
 

  
Blake’s voice was low, the threatening tone unmistakable. I looked up to find him fixed on James.
 

  
James sat unmoving behind a mask of supposed indifference. “About?”

  
Blake rose slowly. “I think it’s better discussed in private. Shall we?” He gestured toward the door.
 

  
James casually shoved out of his chair and led the way. My heart was beating wildly as I scanned the office. No one seemed the wiser. Hurriedly I followed. They’d moved a few feet down the hallway by the time I’d joined them, closing the door behind me.
 

  
Blake stood across from James, his stance wide and his arms across his chest. “I wanted to be the one to tell you that you’ll be giving your notice. Preferably this week.”

  
“Excuse me?” James’s posture tensed. “Erica’s my boss, not you.”

  
“That’s not the point. You’ll be leaving.”
 

  
Blake’s tone left no doubt. Anger and confusion whipped through me. I wanted Blake to know how sorry I was, how desperate I was to make this right between us. But he was attacking me where I felt it most. My business. My livelihood. The safe place that was mine and only mine, and he was casting a shadow over it all with these demands.

  
“Blake, what are you doing? Stop this.” I took a step closer, hoping no one in the office could hear us.
 

  
He turned to me, his eyes colored with all the hurt I’d caused, compounded with the rage he’d focused onto James. “He’s leaving, Erica. It’s that simple. Unless you’d like me to leave instead.”
 

  
“You don’t mean that.” I stared hard at him, almost too tired to test his resolve.
 

  
James’s soft chuckle broke our standoff. His cool blue stare fixed on Blake, his hands fisted tightly by his sides. “You really let success get to your head don’t you, Landon? You think you can march around here and bark orders. What kind of smug bastard does that? And you have the balls to lay a hand on her. I should beat the hell out of you so you know what it feels like.”

  
Blake snapped to face James again, his jaw twitching. “What the fuck are you talking about? I’ve never hit her.”

  
I took a tentative step forward, not entirely comfortable with physically coming between them right now. With all the emotions flying around, I didn’t trust that I wouldn’t get hurt in the fray.

  
“James, no. You don’t understand.”
 

  
“You told him I hit you?”

  
I met Blake’s imploring look full of confusion, maybe even a hint of guilt. But he had it all wrong. My heart fell, tears threatening.
 

  
“No. God, just stop, both of you.”

  
James took a careful step toward me, his voice softer. “You don’t need this shit, Erica. Say the word, and I’ll have him out of here.”

  
“Like hell you will.”
 

  
Blake shoved James then, his slightly shorter frame hitting the wall. James reacted immediately, throwing a punch that Blake narrowly avoided. The two men skirmished. They pushed and pulled until I was certain they’d tear each other apart if I stood idly by. I was desperate to make them stop.

  
“It was Daniel,” I yelled, no longer clinging to that secret truth if it meant they’d stop this madness.
 

  
Blake shoved James off, and for the moment he kept a distance, as they both heaved for air, eyes wild with fury.
   

  
A look of confusion softened James’s anger slightly. “Who?”

  
“He’s—it’s not important. But the day you saw me that way, I’d just seen him. We had a fight, and...” I sighed, the weight of the past forty-eight hours crashing down on me in an instant. “He hit me.”

  
Silence fell. No words, no fists. Neither man moved.
 

  
The look on Blake’s face gutted me. As if learning about James hadn’t been enough, these words cast a shade of betrayal across his features that made me want to go to him then. To hold him to me and say sorry all over again. For all of it.
 

  
“First this,” Blake said, pointing to James, “and now you’re telling me that Daniel hit you. What the hell is going on, Erica? Is there anything else you want to tell me? Let’s just get it all out.”

  
My lip quivered, tears threatening again. Too wrapped up in his own anger, he wouldn’t feel my remorse today. I was alone with it. Alone and scrambling to keep some semblance of peace between my personal and professional life. A lost cause if I’d ever seen one.
 

  
“You should go. Both of you. Just leave.” The last words caught in my throat, lacking conviction and reflecting my frayed nerves.

  
James cursed and left us alone, his footsteps disappearing down the stairwell. The door slammed shut below, the sound echoing up to us. Blake stood motionless, his stare burning into me. The silence was painful, my own thoughts reeling and loud amidst it.
 

  
I could almost hear his too. More questions of why.
Why had I been so stupid? So stubborn?
When I looked up into his wounded eyes, they confirmed it. The effort to restrain his anger, the culmination of all the hurt, was evident in his posture. The muscles of his arms were taut and coiled, no doubt still primed to punch James into next week.
 

  
I would have apologized, tried to bring him back to me, if I weren’t so goddamn angry at myself now. I knew he was jealous, but he’d taken it too far. He had no right to confront James and step into my business that way. No matter what had happened.

  
“I don’t even know what to say to you,” he finally said.

  
“Then don’t say anything at all. Blake...I’m exhausted, I’m sore, and I’m ready to seriously lose it. I don’t need you berating me, making this all my fault.” My voice wavered as I brushed away a tear that had broken free. “Maybe it is, but I can’t bear you telling me that right now. I can’t take it.”

  
He hesitated a moment, that heavy silence filling the space between us again. Then, without another word, he left.
 

  
Out of my world again. I watched his retreat, relieved of the pressure of his resentment, yet infinitely more miserable than I’d been before.
 

I hesitated in the hallway, my hand resting on the door. Alli’s laughter with others carried beyond the walls of their new apartment. I wanted to celebrate and be happy for Alli and Heath, but I was on the other side of that emotion as long as Blake was keeping me at arm’s length.
 

  
He’d taken my request to not say anything at all and to leave too literally. A couple days had gone by. He’d worked late again last night, arriving after I’d fallen asleep and rising before I had. The only proof of his being there was an empty coffee mug in the sink. He always seemed just beyond my grasp, and though I was angry too, the distance was tearing me up inside.

  
I took a breath and pushed open the door, not remotely prepared for all the love that rushed around me whenever I was around Blake’s family. All of it was infectious too though, so I held some hope that they could pull me, and maybe even Blake too, out of this funk.
 

  
As if in perfect reflection of Alli and Heath’s energy, the apartment hummed with laughter, the buzz of conversation, and Alli’s loud whoop when the cork popped off the champagne.
 

  
“Erica!”
 

  
Blake’s younger sister, Fiona, ran over to hug me as I stepped into the main area. Catherine was right behind her, coming for a warm embrace as soon as Fiona stepped away.
 

  
“How are you, honey? You look wonderful.”
 

  
“I’m good. Thanks.” I gave a weak smile, self-consciously glancing down at the outfit I’d thrown together. I was surprised I wasn’t wearing two different shoes for how focused my brain had been lately. Black skirt, top, and ballet flats. That was hard to screw up.
 

  
When I met Catherine’s gaze again, a line of worry marked her forehead. I brightened instantly and plastered on a happy face. No matter what, I didn’t want my problems with Blake to upset Alli’s party. This was an important moment for her and Heath, and I was already worried about stealing her thunder with all this wedding madness that she reassured me we had to cover tonight.
 

  
Alli joined us, grabbed my hand, and pulled me farther in. “Let me give you the tour.”
 

  
“Sure.” I gave Heath and Greg a small wave before they disappeared out of view.

  
Alli took me room by room, through the space. The apartment lacked for nothing, on par with what I would expect from any Landon property. Warm colors, spacious rooms, and tasteful design. Some rooms were still cluttered with boxes, but for the most part, it already felt like a home, theirs.
 

  
“It’s beautiful, Alli.”

  
Her shoulders crept higher as she smiled. “Thanks. I love it. I’m so excited to make it ours. Heath has been working a lot, but hopefully soon we can do a little more to it.”