Hard To Love (12 page)

Ella did as she was told, as she watched Carter walk to the bottom of the bed. Reaching for one leg, he pulled her toward the end of the bed before loosely tying the soft black rope around her ankle. Her breath hitched. Bondage was something Ella had only read about. Now images of gag balls, whips and chains ran through her mind and were scaring the hell out of her.

“Carter, wait,” she cried out.

“Something wrong, kitten?” Carter asked, stroking her other leg as he wrapped another rope around that ankle.

“I’m scared,” she admitted.

“Of me or of losing your control?” he asked.

“Both,” she breathed.

“Get out of your own head, Ella. I promise I won’t hurt you. But you’re going to have to give up that control you covet.”

“I don’t
covet
control,” Ella hissed, as Carter’s fingers danced over the skin on her calves while he made his way to her arms.

“Ella, darlin’, you are a severe control freak, and if you keep talking, you’ll leave me with no choice but to gag your mouth as well as binding your hands and feet.” Pulling her hand toward the headboard, she saw the devil’s gleam in his eye.
He wanted to gag her, that bastard!

Carter trailed his finger down her inner arm, leaving a blazing path from her bound wrist to her bound ankle as he made his way to the other side of the bed to secure her arms together to the headboard. Her body shook from excitement as their eyes locked on one another.

“Your body is talking to me kitten. It’s ready for me. Are you?” Ella’s nipples pebbled at his touch and sexy, raspy voice. “See how responsive your body is to my slightest touch? Obeys and submits from the faintest contact?”

Carter stepped back, taking a deep breath, looking at the beautiful woman trussed to the bed. Desire burned deep in her eyes, that never broke contact with his, silently begging him to take her. Confusion whirled through his brain as he tried to understand the feeling down in the pit of his stomach, all the while fighting the desperation to take her now, and bury himself in her. The urge to touch her consumed him like no addiction ever could.

Sitting down on the edge of the bed, Carter leaned over Ella. Every nerve ending in her body was anticipating the mounting pleasure he was building.

“Mmmm,” he inhaled the scent of her hair, trailing a finger down the edge of Ella’s jaw. “I’m gonna enjoy playing with you tonight.”

After years of making him want her every time she ran away, when he
never
chased anyone, he finally had her where he wanted her. As a matter of fact, Carter couldn’t remember the last time he had worked this hard to get a woman under him. But this wasn’t just any woman. This was Ella Reid. But, six years of rejection worked on a man’s confidence. Now, he was meeting her challenge, and was going to show her just how much she’d wanted this too.

Ella’s stomach awakened with butterflies as Carter looked at her with sparkles lighting up his blue eyes. He slid his fingers around the side of her throat, checking her escalating heartbeat. The rough pad of his thumb gently stroked across the soft flesh of her bottom lip as his half-mast eyes slowly surveyed her mouth with possession. Dipping down, he took it with uncontrollable need.

The taste of Ella’s lips ignited Carter’s thirst as he forced her lips apart. Trapping back a moan, Ella’s stomach tightened with need, when his tongue flashed hot and powerful to take what he wanted.

“I’ve pictured you like this, in my head, so many fucking nights Ella,” he murmured against her lips.

Reaching beside the bed, Carter took one long stem rose from the vase, slowly trailing it up the rise of one breast, feathering it around her sensitive hardened, peach nipple.

Ella took a shuddering breath, staring into his shocking blue eyes. Nothing existed in this moment. Nothing but him, and her, and the sounds of their breathing. Her sex clenched in anticipation of his next touch.

Carter continued running the velvety petals of the rose over her skin, as Ella writhed beneath the intimate contact, making soft, sexy mewing sounds. She was a fucking wet dream, as her mahogany hair flowed over the pillows and glazed emerald eyes stared back at him. Once again, he forced his tongue between her lips, searching for her tongue as she began to suck on his.

“I want to take my time, kitten. I like the feel of you wiggling under me,” he husked.

Taking a piece of ice from the bucket, he traced the same path as the rose, only this time he ignored her most erogenous zones, swirling it around her heavy breast, coming closer and closer to the nipple, but never touching it. Down her sides, around the ridge of her ribs he trailed the shrinking cube leaving a tiny trail of water in its path. Chills covered her body, and the need she felt was causing physical pain.

“Carter, touch me please,” she begged.

“Shhh,” he soothed, blowing heated breath over her chilled skin. The mixture of hot and cold sending a whole other frenzy of sensations throughout her body. “Patience, sweetness.”

Traveling across her hipbone, Carter trailed his way down her inner thigh and over her calf before popping the ice cube in his mouth. “Mmm, tastes like an Ella popsicle now,” he smiled, crawling between her legs. Cupping his hands under her hips, he raised her mound to meet his chilly lips. With quick flicks of his cold tongue against her heated clit, he felt her body shudder beneath him. “Do you like that, baby?”

“God, yes. Carter, I need you in me,
now
!” she cried out.

“Not yet, baby. Not yet.”

Reaching in the ice bucket, he pulled another piece of ice out and began his torturous path again, this time paying particular attention to her hot center. Dragging the ice around her folds, followed by heated kisses had Ella coming undone with the alternating sensations.
For god’s sake would he just fuck her please?
She wasn’t sure how much more she could take, as she pulled and tugged on the ropes that bound her to the bed.

Holding the cube between his fingers, he let droplets of the melting ice drip and slide down her clit into his waiting mouth. The taste of the mixture of her juices and the water caused his already hard cock to stiffen even more, as he sucked her deeper into his mouth,
waiting for her to explode and release her cream on his tongue. Inserting his middle finger into her pulsating channel, he massaged the special spot, causing her to come completely undone. A violent orgasm hit her, splitting her in two, but Carter didn’t let up. Nibbling and sucking his way across her thigh, up over her pelvic bone and across her shivering stomach, as he reached for another cube of ice.

“God, I love to feel you tighten around me, trying to keep me there. But, kitten, I’m not done with you yet. We’re just getting started,” he whispered with hot breath across her skin.

Placing the cold wet square into his mouth between his teeth, he dipped it into her navel, swirling it around while caressing and lightly pinching her nipples. With the ice still between his teeth, he trailed his way up her writhing body, finally circling her sensitive nipples, as the driblets of water rolled down the sides of her body. Ella moaned from the feeling of the coldness of the ice, combined by the heat of his body covering hers. As he made his way up to her throat, the liquid dribbled down her neck. Pressing the ice against her lips, he coaxed them apart, allowing the coldness to slide over her tongue as she swallowed. The cold mixture of water and salt from the sweat covering her body left a tangy flavor on her taste buds.

“You look good enough to eat, El. I want you to be inside you.”

“Please, Carter, I need you now,” she pleaded.

“Need me to what? Say it. Tell me what you want with that dirty mouth of yours,” he demanded.

“I need you to fuck me, Carter. Hard and fast, please.”

Nestling the large crown of his cock at her apex, he began pushing into her very slowly. He rocked several times before shifting onto his elbows, while he rested his weight on top of her, he began to thrust quickly. Shoving both hands into her hair, he held her head still, while pumping into her.

“Look at me. I want to see your eyes while I make you come undone,” he commanded. As Carter looked down into those intense green eyes, he knew what he really wanted to see was the look in her eyes when he made her his and claimed her. An overwhelming primal instinct overtook him when he felt her walls tightening around him, holding on and pulling him into her deeper. Picking up the pace, he pounded into her, fast and hard, just like she had asked. Every time he slammed into her, that sexy sound she made penetrated deep into his mind, and he craved the taste and feel of her even more.

Ella dug her nails into the palms of her hands, pulling on the ropes that bound her and wanted nothing more than to dig them into his skin as he pummeled her body. She watched his eyes change to something wild when she screamed his name, and a sinful grin spread across his lips.

Abruptly pulling from her, Carter released both her ankles from the rope with quick movements, flipping her over on her stomach and jerking her hips up to meet him as he slammed into her again. Ella gripped the edge of the mattress, and pushed back against him as he slowed his pace.

She wanted him to take her hard again, but he wasn’t moving fast enough.

“Carter,” she whimpered.

Wrapping her long hair around his hand, Carter pulled back, only the tip of his cock making contact with her hot, slick opening.

“You want to come again, kitten? Beg me,” he instructed.

Begging a man was not something she was accustomed to, but she needed the release more than she needed her next breath right now.
The sick bastard!
“Carter, please,” she implored.

“No one will ever make you feel this good baby, you remember that,” he announced before sinking back inside her. And he was right, she already knew she was helplessly addicted him. Gripping her hips, he began driving into her, over and over until she heard him shout her name, and felt hot, sticky fluid run down her inner thighs, while another mind blowing orgasm overtook her body.

Untying her hands from the bed, Carter left her wrist tied together as he rolled her over to her back. Gently, he placed her arms over his head and around his neck, as he kissed her forehead. The sounds of uneven breathing filled the space of the room as they both tried to catch their breath and allow their heart rates to calm.

“Sweet Jesus, I don’t think I’ve ever come that hard. You freaking do something to me with that magical pussy of yours,” Carter panted into her hair.

“Magical pussy?” Ella asked on a laugh.

“Yeah,
magical pussy.
You’ve got me hooked. I already need my next fix, see?” he asked, grinding his hips on her so she could feel his growing hard-on.

Rolling them over so he was on his back, she straddled him with her knees on either side of his hips, as Carter raised her up and slipped her back down over his stiffness. “Go on, sweetness. Put another spell on me.” With one rapid movement, Ella’s arms were free, and she was in control.

Now, Ella was in control of the pace, the motion, and how deep she took him. Slowly running her fingers down his chest to his shaft, she stroked and teased him before she slowly lowered herself onto him. With one hand on his chest for support, she began moving up and down to build momentum, sensuously
grinding on him from side to side and in circles, as he wrapped his hands around her hips and began helping her move.

As Ella began to get into her groove, she pulled Carter’s hands to her breasts while she rode him. When she pulled his shoulders toward her so they were both sitting face-to-face, Carter squeezed and nipped her nipples, craving the taste of her skin.
With her legs wrapped around him, she began to rock back and forth, lightly trailing her tongue across his moist lips, until he opened to her, and she took control of his mouth too.
Throwing her head back, she rocked harder and harder while he slipped his fingers between their sweat slicked bodies, circling her clit, and as if even possible, she delivered the most titillating orgasm of his life. As waves of the orgasm overtook him, ecstasy detonated, his breathing picked up and everything in the room disappeared behind sparks of white hot explosions.
Yep, magically enchanted pussy!!

Chapter Thirteen

They spent the next day at the recording studio, in a large red room, with several computer screens and what seemed like a billion buttons that made Ella feel like she was on the Star Trek Enterprise. Two men sat in swivel chairs facing Carter in a sound room behind a large glass window, and Carter was on top of his game.

Ella watched in awe from one of the black leather chairs behind the bridge of the starship, and was surprised to hear that Carter actually wrote his own music and lyrics. Every day she learned something new about this man, and it revealed a new layer to care about, and today was just another example of that. First, Carter sang two upbeat fun songs, and everyone laughed and patted one another on the back as they congratulated him on a job well done. Then, they slowed things down a bit when Carter sat on a bar stool in the middle of the room, and began strumming his guitar as he sang into the large microphone.

The first time that I saw you,

Standing in the neon light.

I knew you were something special

And to you I had no right.

Then my daddy’s words came whispering,

In his haunting words he said,

Boy you’re too hard to love,

Better get that through your head.

And I knew somehow I’d lose you

I’d push you away from me

I’d test your trust, then break your heart

With my selfish tendencies.

As Ella listened to the lyrics,
goose bumps chased over her skin, as she witnessed just how insecure and vulnerable Carter truly was. Maybe he hadn’t written this song about her, but she could feel it in her soul, the raw emotion as he sang, like he was dragging the words from deep down in his core. He was just as afraid to care as she was. Trust was an issue for her, and although they were working on her trust issues, she wasn’t sure how they’d ever overcome all the self-inflicted obstacles they had standing in their way.

After finishing the few tracks, they said goodbye to the men in the swivel chairs, whose names Ella had learned were Vince and Mark. An awkward silence surrounded them in the elevator as they made their way down to the front lobby of the recording company’s large building. Ella kept repeating the words to Carter’s song in her mind, thinking back to the conversation they had about his father saying he was hard to love. Was that what he thought of himself, that he was hard to love? At one point, she thought the same thing about him, but now, she saw someone that was more than easy to love.

The word love and Carter Dawson was a scary thought, and certainly not one she planned on entertaining right now. Determined to never give her heart away again, Ella cleared her throat and broke the silence.

“So, Mark and Vince seemed to think that went well. How do you feel?”

“I don’t know,” he mumbled, not making eye contact. After they made love and Ella had fallen asleep, Carter had slipped out to the balcony and scribbled that song out. Now, he wasn’t sure he should’ve sung that song in front of her. Showing anyone his vulnerable side was not in his game plan, especially someone who was drawing all these damn crazy emotions from some dark seated place inside him he never even knew existed.
Damn her with her mesmerizing green eyes and magic pussy.
As soon as they stepped foot off the plane in good ole Paradise City, he was grabbing the first fangirl he could find, burying his cock in her so deep he’d forget Ella Reid ever existed.
Yeah right, dumbass!

“I thought you sounded amazing,” her soft voice pulled him from his own thoughts. “I never knew you wrote your own songs, Carter. That’s a remarkable talent. No wonder your mother thought you had a God given gift.”

“Yeah, I guess,” he answered, rubbing his hand down the back of his neck. This thing between them was supposed to be a quickie, get in, get her out of his system, and move the hell on. Now, she was provoking feelings and shit. What the hell was he going to do? Just like he wrote in his song, he was going to push her away. But, wasn’t that what he wanted to do, push her away? Confused and aggravated with himself, Carter released a loud shuddering breath, as he finally made eye contact.

“I don’t know, El. I guess once I get to hear it played back, I’ll know for sure.” As if on cue, his cell phone rang in his pocket while they were exiting the elevator.

“Carter,” he barked. “No, I’m still in the building.” Looking at Ella, he saw the hurt in her eyes. He had known from the beginning he was no good for her. Hell, he was no good for anyone. Benton Dawson, his daddy, had said so for years. Carter’s momma had tried to prove Benton wrong, but the proof was in the pudding. Those vibrant green eyes that shown so brightly in the dark, were now shadowed with sadness in the middle of the day, and it was all Carter’s fault.

“Yeah, I’ll run back up. Be there in a few minutes,” he said, before ending the call. “That was Ms. Harmon. She wants me to stop by her office before I leave. You go on to the room, and I’ll meet you back there, okay?”

“Sure, whatever you need to do.” Ella’s heart sunk. Another layer of Carter Dawson exposed, only this one she didn’t like at all.

Without another word, Carter turned to step back through the elevator doors. What was that about? Had she read him wrong? Was the song about an old girlfriend, and now he had drudged up old feelings? Or maybe, their time was just up, and he was ready to move on already? If that was the case, she’d make this easy on him.

With her mind made up, Ella hailed a yellow cab and headed back to the hotel to pack her suitcases. Whatever Carter Dawson’s problem was, she wasn’t going to hang around and let yet another man destroy a part of her, no matter how big or small that piece was.

Two hours later, Carter entered the dark hotel room. The meeting with the cougar had gone about as had been expected. Rushing fingers, and roaming hands. Trying to wipe the red lipstick from his cheek, he had an empty feeling as he flipped the lights on, wondering why there were no signs of life inside the room.

“Ella?” he called, taking his jacket off and tossing it across the sitting chair and his phone on the table. After leaving her so gruffly today, and dealing with Ms. Harmon’s sexual advances, he was ready to admit how much he was enjoying her company, and let her know that he’d like to see more of her. Yeah, he had been scared shitless earlier today when the realization hit him, but now, he was ready to see where this thing was leading them.

“El, you here?” he called again, scanning the room. The sudden realization struck him when he noticed her suitcase was gone. “Fuck!” Snatching up his phone, he started dialing her number before he noticed the note she left on his pillow. Cautiously, as if it were a rattlesnake coiled and hissing, he made his way to the note. He carefully unfolded the small piece of hotel stationary, and began reading the words.

Carter, Sorry to cut our trip so short, but I needed

to get back home, something came up. I had a great

time with you, and wish you luck with your career.

I’m sure we’ll see each other again, and if you decide

the benefit is too much for you, I’ll understand.

Ella

“Oh, sweetness, I’m sure we’ll see each other again too,” he grumbled, wadding the paper up in his hand and slinging it across the room.

********

By the time Ella had booked her flight, and waited for the boarding, it made a long trip home. Ella’s credit card had suffered the consequences of her quick departure, but, she wasn’t sorry she had done it. She wasn’t about to be another man’s regret, and she had already saw something in Carter’s eyes. Whatever it was, Ella wasn’t about to wait around and find out. Her feelings for Carter were growing faster than she would ever admit, so it was time to put the brakes on that train wreck about to happen. Besides, if he had wanted her to stay, he would’ve came and found her at the airport, right?

Discreetly, she made her way into her little house, praying Liv was still out living the night life. Explaining her early return, was not something Ella was ready to do, especially with her little sister. Just as she kicked off her shoes and plopped in the bed, her phone began ringing. Relief flooded her nervous system as she picked it up to see Becky’s name on the screen instead of Carter’s. With a sigh of relief, she answered her friend’s call.

“Hey Becky, what’s up?”

“Girl, where in the hell have you been? You haven’t answered my text or calls.” Becky screeched through the phone. “I was fixin’ to send out a search party for your ass.”

“Sorry, I’ve been having trouble with my phone.” The lie was easier than the truth, especially talking to Becky Harris about her little cousin, Carter.

“Sure,” Becky answered in disbelief. “Hey, Dusty is in this weekend. Why don’t you come out with us tomorrow night? Mike and Troy are coming in too. Troy said he’d like to see you again.”

“He did, did he?” Ella said, rolling her eyes. She met Troy the night Becky met Dusty. They had had some fun until he passed out, and she hadn’t seen or heard from him since.

“Yeah, so we’ll meet you at Silver Spurs tomorrow night. Bring Liv too, maybe she and Mike will have a thing or two in common.” Becky snorted, knowing Ella’s baby sister all too well.

Reluctantly, Ella agreed to meet them. Carter wasn’t scheduled to be back until Sunday, so there shouldn’t be a chance of her running into him. Not that it would matter anyway. She hadn’t even received a text from him since she left. Maybe he had hooked up with the very blonde,
Ms. Harmon
. The thought disgusted her and she cringed at the picture running through her mind. Whatever his reason, he hadn’t contacted her, and now she was even more certain she had made the right decision to leave. Apparently, trusting him only applied to the bedroom, and not with her heart. At least she found out now, before anther heartache. The problem was, her heart was already aching.

********

As promised, Ella met Becky, Dusty, Mike and Troy at Silver Spurs the next night. Troy looked the exact same as he had the night they met, except his skin was a few shades darker from the sun, and his strawberry blonde hair was a little longer.

“Hey beautiful,” he said, pulling her in for a hug. “You’re a sight for sore eyes.” Troy’s eyes roamed over her body, noticing the ivory openwork flounce lace blouse and tight denim jeans she was wearing.

“Hey Troy, long time no see. I see you still haven’t seen the barber, huh?” she teased, flipping the curled hair at his collar up.

“Baby, haven’t you ever heard of Samson?” Troy teased back, tugging her closer to his side. “If I cut my hair, I’ll lose my powers.”

“Power to what, make women gag?” Dusty snorted, slapping his friend on the shoulder.

“Hey, dipshit. Don’t be a cock blocker.” Troy smiled at Dusty, shrugging his hand off his shoulder.

“Cock blocker my ass! You have to have a cock to block, numbnuts.” Dusty laughed again.

“Don’t hate the player, hate the game, man. Not my fault you’re on lockdown.” Troy goaded.

“Lockdown? I can get it whenever I want, jackass.” Dusty defended.

“Hey, watch it cowpoke,” Becky snapped with a raised eyebrow.

Squeezing Becky tightly against his chest, Dusty whispered, “Well, I can get it whenever I want when I come to see you, right?”

“You’re just trying to save your ass now.” Becky scolded.

“Good thing you like my ass, baby,” Dusty joked, kissing Becky hard on the lips.

“You two need to get a room,” Ella laughed.