HARD KNOX (5 page)

I made a fist and punched at Knox’s
chest. “I hate you!” I cried out. What I wanted to tell him was that I loved
him. That I wanted him to take me away. That we could figure it out.

Knox grabbed my fist as I tried to
hit him again. He brought my fist to his mouth and kissed my hand. He then
reached for my face again and touched my cheek.

He walked to his motorcycle and
just like always, he was gone.

I stood there, tears in my eyes.

That night came to an end, but what
happened with me and Knox was far from being over. I was going to pay dearly
for it.

Oh, and remember how Knox told me
to stash the money because I’ll never know when I would need it?

I would use some of that money
to buy a pregnancy test.

chapter eight

(knox)

*THEN*

Yeah, I had set the car on fire. It
was a clear message to a rival crew to stay the fuck away from me, my club, and
my fucking town. Yeah, I had ruined some merchandise in the trunk of the car.
And, yeah, I may have beaten up the driver to the point where he wouldn’t talk
for a good two months.

I wasn’t going to tell the cops
that though.

Someone had ratted my ass out and
within ten minutes of getting away from the fiery scene, a cop car was waiting
for me. Right in the middle of the road. The prick hit me right in the eyes
with his spotlight. I tried to dart around him and lost my edge, dropping my
ride right on the road. I ripped up my right leg and the cop dragged me to the
back of his car.

Now I was in a small interrogation
room, facing down a detective who wanted to paint me as the guy who set the car
on fire.

“I have no idea what happened,” I
said. “I was coming back from the strip club.”

“Right, right,” he said. He said to
call him Joey. “I’ll be contacting that club to confirm you were there.”

I leaned forward and smiled. “Why
don’t you just check between Amber’s tits? That’s where I spent most of my
night. Oh, and between her legs. She tastes great.”

“I thought strippers don’t like to
be touched.”

“By guys like you, no,” I said. “But
a guy like me…” I laughed.

Joey stood up and put his fists to
the table. “I’m going to get you for this one, Knox. And since you’re representing
your gang of friends, I’m going to roll on them too. Unless, of course, you
want to help me out with that.”

“How’s that?”

“Tell me why they had you set that
car on fire. What was really happening between everyone.”

I touched my chin. “Okay… let me
think.”

Joey squinted his eyes. We were in
silence for a minute. Finally, Joey asked, “Anything?”

“I can’t stop thinking about Amber’s
pussy. See, those were the only lips I saw moving tonight.”

“Fuck you, Knox,” Joey spat at me. “I
know what you fucking guys are up to.”

“If you really did, you wouldn’t be
so mad. But the truth? We have a common interest in motorcycles and strippers.”

“Run by your father,” Joey said. “You
know what’s going to happen when I come down on you all?”

“No, I don’t. Tell me. Let’s talk
about it. Sit down. Have a drink, Joey.”

The detective left the room.

I exhaled and wasn’t sure what was
going to happen next.

I did not expect the Chief of
Police to enter the room. I did not expect him to take out a gun and put it on
the table in front of me. I figured he was there to break my balls some more.

Instead, he walked behind me and
unlocked the cuffs.

“Stand up, son,” the rough voiced
chief said.

I stood up.

Chief walked to the side of the
table and put his hands on it. “What’d you tell Joey?”

“Nothing,” I said. “I was at a
strip club. I had nothing to do with some car fire.”

Chief nodded to the gun. “What if I
put that gun in your mouth. Would you still say the same thing?”

“Probably not,” I said.

“Why not?”

“If there’s a gun in my fucking
mouth, how could I talk?”

Chief let out a laugh. He grabbed
the gun and tucked it away. “Get the hell out of here, kid.”

“Yeah?” I asked.

“Tell Hammer to meet up for coffee
tomorrow. He’ll know where.”

Just like that, I was off the hook.
I knew the Reap had the PD working alongside us but I didn’t realize it went
that deep. As it would turn out, Chief was the one who asked the old man to
have me take care of that car.

Small fucking world, right?

When I left the police station, two
of my boys - Slam and King - were waiting for me. We hugged and rode back to
the clubhouse. I entered the clubhouse and it was quiet. Everyone was just
sitting there, looking at me. Someone pointed to the chapel (the room where we
would meet and discuss business). I opened the door and it was a full table.

My old man at the head of the
table, standing, looking pissed off.

“What’d you tell them?” he asked
me.

“Nothing. I said nothing.”

“You sure about that?” Banger - the
then VP - asked. “Looks to me like you botched the job.”

“Fuck that,” I said. “Someone
ratted me out. PD was waiting for me. I had no chance. Look at my fucking leg.”

“Come here,” my old man said to me.

I walked the length of the table
and faced him. The old man at home was one thing. The old man that wore the
President’s patch was a much different person.

“We took a vote,” he said. “About
this shit. You know it goes with the Reap, Knox. We don’t allow and can’t
afford mistakes.”

So that was it? They were going to
strip me of my cut? Slice my ink off my body?

The old man then started to smile.
The whiskey in his eyes made him a little misty. Banger stood up and reached
into his pocket. I was presented with a new patch. I was going to be part of
the table now. Meaning I was able to attend church. I’d have a say. Goddammit,
I was going to have a fucking vote in everything the club did.

It was almost as good as touching
my first tit.

The table exploded into cheers.
When I exited the chapel, the clubhouse exploded next. Then there were drinks
and women. Lots of each. I had my choice of anyone I wanted, as long as I
wanted. I sat on the edge of a pool table, two women topless in front of me,
and I did something insane.

I walked away.

I went outside and walked to my
motorcycle.

I took my thundering beast out of
the lot and knew right where I wanted to go.

When I pulled up to the front of
the house, I looked at it. It was funny how those days with my grandmother
living downstairs and my mother upstairs worrying about money used to seem so
bad. Now the place was unused. Except for me. I crashed there when I wanted to.

But this wasn’t a fucking
homecoming thing.

My eyes then went to the house next
door.

Shit, my old man got caught fucking
Ana’s mother. Ana and her mother were on the outs and Ana was basically on the
loose. But that night, Ana’s bedroom light was on. To me, that was enough. Just
to know she was home and she was safe.

My life was simply out of control.
I was now a table member of the Reaper’s Bastards MC. There was too much
violence on my hands and in my heart. I would love Ana with every last breath
of mine but I knew in her eyes she wanted more.

That night she came to the window
and saw me. When she disappeared I knew she was coming outside. I could have
taken off, but I didn’t. I sat right there. I watched as she darted out the
front door and ran toward me. She ran up to my motorcycle and jumped on the
back. I gave her my helmet and we took off together.

I took her to her favorite spot in
town, at the top of a ridge that overlooked the city. It was like the stars
were on the ground. I put a blanket down, sat there, showed her my new patch,
told her what it meant, and then we started up. The first time I fucked her,
she was looking up at the stars. The second time, I was looking up at the
stars. But the truth was that I couldn’t take my eyes off her. I held her,
loved her, wanted to keep the night alive forever, but then I got a call. It
was from the old man. I had to get back to the clubhouse. Something was wrong.

That night, Ana cried when I
dropped her off.

I told her I loved her as she
walked away.

She hugged herself and walked as
though shame rattled through her bones.

It was the last time I fucked
her
… well, up until I got her pregnant years later
…

chapter nine

(ana)

*NOW*

The club was finally closed for the
night. It was strange being in there after closing. When the place was silent.
The chairs flipped over, resting on the tables. The gentle clank of glasses as
Danny, Porter, and a couple of the other guys at the bar, enjoying their last
few drinks of the night.

Eddie stood at the register,
closing out.

They were all over him by now.

He was stealing hand over fist and
had a way to close out the register without missing what he stole. That meant
when Danny or someone went to take care of the drop, it would end up short, but
it would look like someone ripped off cash from the safe, not the register.

I didn't want to be there. I didn’t
like the feel of it.

Porter threw back a shot and turned
his glass upside down. He then gave a nod to a guy name Muddy.

I felt my heart start to race.

Danny stood and folded his arms,
leaning against the back of the bar.

It looked like a scene from a
mobster movie.

Muddy walked up to Eddie.

“Hey Mudd,” Eddie said.

Eddie put his hand into the
register and Muddy moved fast. He slammed the drawer with Eddie’s fingers still
in it. Eddie let out a scream and jumped back. Porter was there and wrapped an
arm around Eddie.

Muddy then searched Eddie’s pockets
and found four hundred dollars in all twenties.

He was totally busted now.

I figured they were going to beat
him up and toss him out.

But they put Eddie right on the
bar.

Porter looked at me. “Get some
fucking towels. Now.”

“What are you doing?” I asked.

“Muddy tells me we could recoup our
money lost with some kidneys.”

My stomach did a flip.

They all started laughing.

I ran away, refusing to take part
in whatever they were really going to do.

I bolted from the club, got into my
car, and sped away.

In my heart I wanted to go find Knox.
I hadn’t seen him since last week when he came to the club with his band. I
drove by the old garage and clubhouse for the Reap and saw there were a few
floodlights on. I ended up driving by the old houses, too. They were so rundown
and left to just collapse, kind of like the rest of town.

What the fuck am I doing here?

I kept asking myself that.

I went home to my little shithole
of an apartment and counted up all my savings. The bulk came from what Knox
gave me. It was pathetic. I was trapped.

I decided to just sleep the rest of
the night off.

I wasn
’t given a choice
to do that
…

It sounded like a crack of thunder.
That’s what woke me up. I jumped up and turned the light on. That’s when Porter
came bursting through the door. He had a towel in his hands and was wiping
blood off his hands. I feared for what waited outside in my apartment.

“Porter,” I said. “Are you…”

He dropped the towel and lunged at
the bed. I kicked back, slamming myself off the wall. I hurt myself as he
closed in on me. There was rage in his eyes, vodka on his breath, and death on
his hands.

“I had nothing to do with Eddie,” I
said. “I told Danny the second I saw it happen. Like you asked.”

Porter gripped the covers on my bed
and leaned forward. “What else happened that night?”

“What?”

“Who was fucking there?”

The color left my face. I wanted to
throw up.

Danny must have told Porter about
Knox. The question was… how much did Danny see and how much did he tell Porter?

My answer stared at me.

“You fucking worked over Danny to
help out Knoxville,” Porter said. “That’s what I heard.”

“That’s a lie,” I said. “Danny wasn’t
going to pay Knoxville’s band. So Knoxville hit Danny a few times.”

“Who gave Knoxville the money?”

I froze. That was a mistake. I was
giving myself away.

“Who?!” Porter growled at me.

“I did,” I whispered. “Danny gave
me the money and said he was calling you.”

“And you expect me to believe you
just gave him the money and that was it?”

“He left,” I said, trying to save
face. The money Danny had given to me was under my bed in a shoebox. “He got on
his motorcycle and left.”

“What if someone saw more than
that?” Porter asked.

My teeth started to chatter with my
lips shut. I was terrified. I knew the rage Porter had but I never knew the
rage he had after killing someone. It was spilling over, as though he wasn’t
done yet.

“You don’t understand,” I said. “What
we went through.”

“That’s what you want?” Porter
asked. “Some dirty mechanic biker?”

“I never said that,” I said. “I was
helping him. He always helped me. When I was younger…”

I saw Porter move his left hand.

I had no idea if he was going to
hit me or kill me.

So I snapped. My
flight or fight
kicked into overdrive and I swung my foot up, kicking Porter in the mouth.
His head snapped back and it gave me an opening to escape.

I rolled to the right and jumped
off the bed.

The door looked a mile away.

It wasn’t like the movies though. I
didn’t make some last second escape and get away. That’s not how real life
always worked.

Instead, Porter had a handful of my
shirt and pulled. I flew backwards from the door -
now it looked two miles
away
- and he had an arm around me. I thrashed and kicked before he let me
go and tossed me forward into the wall. I turned at the last second, my
shoulder taking the brunt of the hit.

I turned, not knowing what to
expect next.

“I should have known you were a
whore,” Porter said. He then closed in on me again. “But you don’t get away
with it that easily, Ana. You’re going to be my whore until I’m done with you.”

This time, when Porter moved his
left hand, I didn’t try to fight back.

I shut my eyes and braced myself
for whatever I had coming
…