Hard Choices (23 page)

I leaned in and kissed him quickly on the lips. Then I hopped up and headed over to his coffee maker. “Good! Let me get some coffee, then let’s go for a walk!”

Matthew smiled like a little kid who’d just opened a present. “Sounds perfect,” he said.

***

Fortunately, the boots Becca had picked out for me had a flat heel with good souls, so they were fine for walking the groomed trails around Matthew’s house. And I’d thrown a heavy coat in the back of my car since the weather can turn cold quickly in our mountainous corner of Idaho. I grabbed my coat and we headed out. We wandered through the woods for hours, and I marveled at how easy it was to talk with Matthew. Aaron had been fun and simple, but conversations with Matthew went so much deeper.

We talked about deep, real things – like why and when Matthew had backed out of Inlay Systems. Had he stayed, he would have made even more money.

“But how much money do you need?” he’d asked rhetorically as he held a low-hanging branch out of my way. “I just couldn’t see the point of it anymore. I was making all this money, and never had
time
to enjoy it. Or enjoy my daughter. It wasn’t worth it.”

I smiled knowingly. “Robert and I basically made the same choice at some point along the line, when we were building the business. We turned down some lucrative clients because they were assholes,” I shrugged and Matthew laughed. “We both wanted a life, too, just not a huge business.”

Since we were only a few years apart, we had the same set of cultural references, and laughed over stupid things, like our favorite Seinfeld episodes.

I had started to realize, from all our conversations on the phone, that Matthew was someone who could really be my partner, not just my boyfriend. Spending the afternoon talking and walking just intensified that feeling.

Sunset comes early in November, and Matthew pulled out his phone and glanced at the time. “Whoa, we better head back.”

I nodded and looked around, “Where the heck are we, anyway?”

“We made a loop,” Matthew pointed up the hill from where we were down on the beach. “There’s my house, right there.”

His house. With his bedroom.

I took his hand and said, “I hope you have some of that amazing wine left.”

He grinned. “And plenty more where that came from.”

***

Matthew felt like a teenager when Lyssa reached over and took his hand. He couldn’t remember a more enjoyable afternoon he’d spent with anyone. Everything just flowed with her.

When he’d pointed up to his house, he’d noticed a moment’s hesitation on her face. This day was going so well, he was almost afraid to hope it would turn into a night that was just as good. When she’d taken his hand and suggested wine, Matthew tried not to let his excitement get out of hand. They may have met months ago, he reminded himself, but they’d really only been dating for a couple of weeks.

Let her set the pace,
he reminded himself.
Go easy.

They climbed the winding path up to his house and Lyssa stopped for a moment on his back deck. “It’s so beautiful,” she breathed, looking out at the lake.

“I like my view better,” Matthew said huskily. Lyssa turned to see what he was looking at… and her eyes widened when she realized he was watching her. “Those mountains can’t hold a candle to you,” he reached up to her face and brushed her hair back. She closed her eyes and shivered a little at his touch.

Then she opened her eyes, looked into his, and leaned in to kiss him.

***

We stood on the deck kissing and holding each other, until I couldn’t wait anymore. I wanted Matthew, and I wasn’t going to hold back anymore.

“Let’s go inside,” I said breathlessly. I didn’t have to tell Matthew twice. He opened the door off his deck into his house. I scurried through, throwing my coat off and quickly unzipping and kicking off my boots.

Matthew grinned and peeled off his coat off, too, as he stepped out of his hiking shoes. Without saying a word, I wrapped my arms around his chest, pulling him to me.

The kiss didn’t last long. Matthew scooped me up into his arms. I wrapped my arms around his neck and laid my head against his shoulder. He walked down the hall and through double-doors into his bedroom. He set me on my feet again, and kissed me again, as I slowly unbuttoned his shirt and stripped it off him. We weren’t in a hurry; we both wanted to thoroughly enjoy each other. I pulled back from him and stripped my sweater and cami off. I barely had it over my head before he was undoing my bra, then my jeans, then pulling my panties down.

I stepped back against his bed, which was set high off the ground, hopped up on the edge and laid myself down. Lying naked before him, I didn’t feel exposed, or vulnerable. I felt open. I felt free.

Matthew stripped off his jeans and tossed them aside. He was wearing boxer briefs. I love those things. I’d bought some for Scott at one point, thinking, maybe, if I could get him out of tightie-whities, I might actually find him attractive again. It did not work.

It worked with Matthew. I could see the swell of his enormous cock through the black cotton, and all I could think about was getting him inside me. My god, this man was beautiful. And from the size of his erection, I could understand why it hurt to have it confined in jeans. He yanked down his boxers and climbed on the bed.

He lay down on top of me, kissing me, loving me. I wrapped my legs around him, feeling his hardness against my stomach, running my hands down his back. I had been thinking about him so much, it almost didn’t feel real, finally lying naked in his arms.

“Lyssa,” Matthew pulled away and leaned up on his hand. “I have something… indelicate to ask you,” he smiled, looking a little embarrassed, and he rolled on his side, pulling me over so I was facing him. “Look, I had a vasectomy years ago. I haven’t been with anyone for about a year,” he actually blushed a little, “and I had a complete check-up six months ago.”

I was so out of practice with this, it took me a second to figure out where he was going. “Oh. OH! Um, well, it had been years since I’d been with Scott. I know he wasn’t unfaithful until long after we’d stopped having sex. And with that ‘rebound’ of mine, we always used a condom. Every single time, so, if you’re OK with it, I certainly am – ”

I had barely finished my sentence when Matthew pulled me toward him, pulled my top leg over his hips, and slid inside of me. I gasped. I hadn’t had sex without a condom in years, since the last time Scott and I had had sex. I hadn’t had
good
sex without a condom
ever
. The feeling of his length inside me, with no barrier between us, was indescribable. He kept his hand on my hip, with his other arm wrapped around me, and slowly, deeply stroked me.

It felt like every movement set off an orgasm. I didn’t know if I could take it for long.

I moaned with the first few strokes.

I screamed with the next few.

I grabbed his hips with one hand, and touched his chest – his amazing chest – with my other. He kept moving inside of me, slowly, completely. I took every inch of him, and tried to pull him in deeper. But from that position, slow and deep was the only choice. I wanted more.

I launched myself on top of him, flipping both of us over while keeping him deep inside of me. I sat astride him, and threw my head back, reveling in the feeling of him all the way inside of me. I leaned back and put my hands on his thighs, moving up and down on top of him, moaning in the pleasure, in the abandon. Matthew’s hands were on my hips, guiding my rhythm as I rode him. But I still wanted more of him. I came forward and ran my hands up his body, from his incredible abs, to his broad, strong shoulders. I leaned down and kissed him again, as I continued to ride him. He wrapped his arms tightly around me, pulling me as close as we could get. Kissing as I rode him, he cried out and stiffened, moving his hands back to my hips, holding me down all the way onto him as he came deep inside me, as I came all around him.

I collapsed on top of him, and we lay there for a while, hearts beating together. Then Matthew gently rolled me over onto the bed, planted a soft kiss on my shoulder, and got up and went into the bathroom. He came back with a warm wet cloth, and started wiping me clean. I lay there with my eyes closed, feeling adored and cherished. I reached up and took his hand, “That was amazing,” I said quietly. Matthew looked a little surprised, then a slow smile spread across his face. He leaned down and kissed me again. Without saying a word, he dried himself off, threw the towel on the floor and lay down with me, curling himself around me. I’d never felt so safe. I fell asleep in his arms.

I woke up a few hours later, and it was already dark outside, though still early evening. Matthew was still curled around me; I could feel his hardness against my back, but he was still asleep. Grinning, I squirmed a little until he woke up, too. He slipped himself inside me again. We made love gently, in the dark, with him laying kisses down my shoulder. We both came again, then we drifted off to sleep, still joined together.

***

I woke up to an empty bed. I glanced at the clock and realized it was about eight. I sat up and glanced around the room. I saw a beautiful black silk robe at the bottom of the bed, laid out for me. I smiled at Matthew’s thoughtfulness as I pulled on the robe and wandered back out into the living room.

“Matthew?” I called.

“In the kitchen,” he stuck his head around the stone fireplace and grinned at me. He was only wearing drawstring pajama bottoms. And my god, did he wear them well. Just a tuft of chest hair, a dark happy trail below his belly button, and a body that left no doubt that he was a very fit man. “You look hot in my robe,” he grinned at me.

I laughed. “Why do you have a silk robe, by the way?”

He shrugged. “It was a Christmas gift at some point. I don’t think I’ve ever worn it. Glad I kept it, though,” he leered at me, and I laughed again. “Coffee?”

“I’ll be up all night.”

He put his arms around my waist and pulled me in. “I’ve got news for you: you’ll be up all night anyway,” and he kissed me again. He tasted so good – like mint and pine, somehow.

I pulled away from him, and he looked down at the way his silk robe hugged my breasts, and my VERY erect nipples.

“Come here,” he took my hand and led me into the living room. I hadn’t noticed before, but there was a beautiful wool rug on the floor, in front of the fire place. Matthew must have stoked the fire before I got up, because it was roaring. He grabbed pillows off the couches, and a chenille throw, and pulled me down on the rug.

He lay down beside me and whispered in my ear, “I just want to feel myself inside you again,” and a warmth rushed through my body. I lay on my back, with my arms over my head, as he stripped off his pajama bottoms and lay on top of me. He didn’t untie the robe; instead he caressed my nipples through the silk. Then he rubbed the silk along my hip with one hand, as he braced himself with the other. He entered me gently. I couldn’t believe how hard he was again. Even after Aaron, it was still a wonder to me that
I
could arouse such a beautiful man so fully.

Matthew stroked me over and over; each stroke so complete, so deep, I fell into an abyss of pleasure that I didn’t want to come out of. But then my body pulled me back. I felt my orgasm building. My back arched up, and Matthew reached down and took my nipple in his mouth. I cried out – over and over, as my orgasm washed over me, and his washed over me, too. I collapsed back against the soft rug, spent and sated. Matthew collapsed on top of me, panting, with a sheen of sweat covering him.

It took a few minutes for me to feel aware again. When I opened my eyes, Matthew was lying next to me, propped up one elbow, staring at me, covered in goose bumps. I immediately reached for the blanket to pull up over him. “Don’t get chilled,” I said lazily, “you need to keep those muscles warm. We have all night, you know,” I smiled at him, utterly relaxed.

“All night?” he smiled down at me. “Really?”

Suddenly, I was a little flustered. “Well, I mean, if you
want
me to stay – “

Matthew removed any doubt by kissing me thoroughly and deeply. Then he pulled back and looked me in the eyes. “Lyssa, there is nothing I’d rather do tonight than sleep wrapped around you,” I felt that flutter in my chest again, the flutter that got that voice telling me I was really in trouble.

I told the voice to shut up and pulled Matthew down with me, snuggling into his chest as he wrapped his arms around me.

After a few minutes, I finally confessed, “You know what? I am
starving.
”

Matthew rolled onto his back and said, “Thankfully, we have plenty of leftovers.”

I hopped up and went into the kitchen, with Matthew close behind. I dived into the refrigerator, pulling out covered dishes of all the amazing foods we’d eaten for lunch. Matthew pulled out dishes and turned the oven on to
Warm.

We talked easily as I piled plates high with leftovers and Matthew poured us some wine. We sat back at the table, and I felt decidedly unsexy as I ate with gusto, moaning in delight.