Harbinger (9 page)

No one else looked much better. Whatever Zach had been on yesterday had obviously worn off. Unfortunately, the zoned-out look was replaced by a kind of frenetic energy, his jittering hands and knees vibrating the whole table.

The Marine was missing some of his composure too. Although his body held the same stillness, the calm had evaporated. His eyes roamed around the room as he gulped down aspartame-flavored “juice.”

But Kel was the worst. There were purple smudges under his eyes like thumbprints, and the pain I’d felt last night was there in his eyes.

He was the only person in the entire cafeteria wearing any of his own clothes. The lone aberration in the herd of identical jumpsuits. Did he have some kind of pull with Dr. Mordoch? What could he have traded to be able to keep these vestiges of his life?

I flushed, thinking about the things I’d confessed to him in Solitary, the closeness I’d felt.
He wouldn’t have—

But then why the sweatshirt?

Why gloves?
They looked like something a guy with a motorcycle would wear, but I couldn’t picture that either. Just the tips of his fingers, his red-stained fingernails, were sticking out.

Red-stained fingernails.

Kel had the same red tinge to his fingertips as I did. I caught his gaze from across the table. He was exhausted, but the green in his eyes was still blazing. And the message in them was clear: “
Look!
”

Then slowly, deliberately, he looked around the table.

I watched as the others ate their oatmeal in silence. Picked up their glasses. Wiped their mouths. Maya, Zach, the Marine, and even Nami had the same pink tinge to their hands. And the same half circle of red under their nails. I glanced at the nearby tables, but everyone else’s hands were clean. Goose bumps shivered up my neck.

Then, as if there’d been a secret signal, my whole family looked up from their breakfast. Each of them met my eyes, and this time they didn’t look away. I saw the usual flicker of fear, and it tremored through me too.

What the hell happened to us?

10

“WELCOME TO SOCIALIZATION
Please make a circle on the floor.” The teacher’s black, curly hair flounced as she unfolded her chair and motioned for us to sit around her.

After breakfast, we’d been marched out to the Knowledge Annex, near the Meditation Center, for our first class of the term. But the only sign that this was a classroom was a chalkboard shoved into one corner.

The teacher smiled with faux warmth as she pulled out a clipboard and a yellow Nerf ball. “We’re going to play a little get-to-know-you game.”

Everyone arranged themselves neatly in a circle, in the same order as our cafeteria table. Even though we’d known each other for less than twenty-four hours, we were already functioning as a group. Bonded not just by Tasers or forced medication. But by something to hide.

Zach sat on one side of the teacher, so I planted myself cross-legged on the other side of her as she started speaking.

“I’ll be your Family’s Aunt while you’re here at Holbrook Academy. And this is the Speaking Sphere.”

I smirked at the pretentious title, for her and for the ball. An almost inaudible snort of laughter echoed my amusement. Kel’s eyebrow was arched, a sardonic gleam in his eyes as he met mine. My face threatened to break out into a grin, and I dropped my gaze.

Kel’s eyes still weighed on me from two spots away and I could barely listen to what “Aunt” was saying. I concentrated on staring at the faded blue carpet, but my eyes kept being pulled to his hand tapping out a steady rhythm on his knees.

I imagined drawing his fingers, long and graceful, hidden under black leather. His gloves were a little uneven, like he’d cut them off himself, exposing just the very tips stained with red. I shivered as I wondered again what had happened to us the night before.

“Faye, please show me the respect of looking at me.” The Aunt’s voice jerked me back to reality.

Her scolding tone made my face burn and sent me straight back to elementary school. Teachers were always sending me to the corner for not paying attention. My eyes flitted up to Kel’s face.
Or for paying attention to the wrong things.

I shifted around on the carpet, my jumpsuit already clinging to me in the hot room, and craned my neck to look up at the Aunt and her canary-colored Nerf ball. Our eyes met for a second before she looked away, just long enough for me to be stung by the spitefulness glittering in her black pupils. I definitely didn’t want to be related to this woman. Not even in an imaginary, crazy-school way.

“Thank you. When we’re in a circle like this, you must be holding the Sphere if you want to talk. Our first exercise goes like this. Each of you will hold the Sphere and say your name, where you’re from, and how you’re feeling this morning. Like this: I’m Aunt and I’m from New Mexico. I feel excited to be part of a brand-new Family today.” As she spoke, she looked around the circle, pausing on each face. When she got to mine, her eyes flickered for an instant, then rushed on.

“That’s all there is to it. Easy-peasy. See how I made eye contact with you all as I spoke? Now you try, Zach.” Her snub nose crinkled, and she handed him the ball.

“I’m Zach.” He gazed around the circle, not quite daring to look in anyone’s eyes. He focused just below them, like he had a secret fetish for noses. “And I’m . . . I’m from Indiana . . . Broad Ripple Cooperative.”

He squeezed the ball so that it pumped in and out with the same manic energy that ran through his body. “I don’t know what else to say. I feel unnerved. No. Discombobulated . . . Yes. That’s it.”

He shrugged awkwardly and turned to Nami to rescue him.

“I’m Nami and—”

Aunt cut her off. “I’m sorry, dear, but you spoke before you had the Sphere.”

Zach looked stricken and shoved the ball into Nami’s short fingers.

“Please go to the back of the room and face the wall.” Aunt spoke in a friendly voice, the same tone someone uses to say, “Have a nice day.”

“Really?” A twitch of amusement streaked across Nami’s face. “But don’t you wanna hear
all
about me first?”

Aunt examined Nami like she was a bug she’d caught, as if she were deciding how to display this blue-haired specimen in her collection. Finally, Aunt’s face resolved into a sympathetic smile.

“I’m sorry, but rules are rules.” Like it was completely out of her hands. If I hadn’t hated her before, I did now.

“But . . .” Zach’s voice cracked. “It was me. I was the one who forgot to give her the ball.”

“You can join her, Zach, since you’ve spoken without the Sphere as well.”

Zach’s whole body deflated as he looked at the Nerf ball he’d just given Nami, then back at his own empty hands. Nami’s half smile turned to ice as she watched Zach crumble. With the same look I’d seen on her face yesterday morning, she let the ball fall out of her hands.

“Oops!” Nami watched the Speaking Sphere roll across the floor, her eyes huge.
The girl’s got balls.

“Pick up the Sphere and bring it here. Then go to the back of the room, before I call a Caretaker to remove you.” Aunt never lost her smile as she gave instructions in her even, pleasant tone. “You will both stand facing the wall, spread-eagle. Damion, you look like a military man. Maybe you can show them what I mean.”

Aunt looked meaningfully at the Marine. Even I knew what
spread-eagle
meant, but clearly she was fishing for an ally. The guy, Damion, looked uncomfortable being singled out. He stood up anyway, tall and straight, like someone used to taking orders. Not the Holbrook type at all.
What’s this guy’s story?

Aunt pointed toward the back of the room. Damion’s face looked conflicted, but he obeyed. Striding back there alongside Nami and Zach. She had her first recruit.

Aunt nodded as Damion helped the offenders into the standard pat-down position. Making sure they made a perfect X against the back wall.

“Toes, knees, and nose touching the wall, please,” she corrected in a cheery voice.

Damion adjusted Zach’s thick limbs until he was awkwardly close to the wall.

“I want you all to understand,” Aunt went on, “this is not a punishment. It’s a learning tool. Now you’ll remember the rules and we can avoid future unpleasantness.”

Damion hesitated before putting his hand on Nami’s arm. I saw him mouth
“Sorry”
to her as he maneuvered her curvy body into the correct position. Her lips moved in a whisper near Damion’s ear and his eyes went wide. He grinned, but the smile fell right off, like he couldn’t remember what to do with it. And I was surprised by what was left behind, a raw grief that pulled at every line of his face.

Blinking hard, Damion refocused on his task, bending Nami’s knees so they touched the wall. Then a flash of anger passed across his face as he looked at Nami standing there in that uncomfortable pose, nose smashed against the plaster. I didn’t want to watch either. It was humiliating.

“Thank you, Damion, that’s perfect,” Aunt cooed, and he came back to the circle, shooting a worried glance back at Nami. “Let’s try again, shall we?”

Aunt handed the Sphere to Maya. Maya held the ball for a second, her fierce eyes suspicious. It was the look she’d given me the night before when she’d asked why Kel and I had gotten tased for her. Remembering our conversation, I answered her look with the same shrug.

She shrugged back at me and in an irritated tone said, “I’m Maya, I’m from Rockport Cooperative, Massachusetts, and I feel like this is bullshit.”

An ugly grin passed across Aunt’s face so fast I wasn’t sure I’d seen it. By the time she’d grabbed the ball from Maya, she was back to her cookie-cutter smile. “Inappropriate language will not be tolerated. You may join Zach and Nami.”

Maya thrust her chin out at me and headed to the back of the room. I guessed this was as close as she was going to come to saying thank you for our show of solidarity at dinner the night before.

“You must all learn that here at Holbrook, Consequences are cumulative. Thanks to Maya’s misbehavior, those in the back will now be squatting on the floor. Hands clasped behind their backs.”

Maya took her place next to the other two as they all rearranged. They hunkered down, weight on their ankles, like someone trying to keep his butt from getting wet on the grass. As Zach put his hands behind his back, he wobbled, fighting to keep his balance. It looked painful.

“I can teach class just as well whether you’re all squatting in the back or sitting in a circle.” Aunt smiled broadly and sat back in her seat. She was enjoying this, showing us who was in charge.

Not so fast.
It was down to Kel, Damion, and me. Kel looked at me, raising his eyebrow in a challenge, and I realized I had something new to lose. My universe of one had expanded, whether I’d wanted it to or not. Kel and I and the rest of this family were stuck together at Holbrook, and after whatever had happened the night before, drawing attention to ourselves was the worst move we could make.

But when I looked back at Kel’s sparking eyes, all I wanted to do was join him in rebellion. I wanted to make Holbrook eat it, and with that thought, a little thrill of power shot through me.

The ball was in our court. Literally.

Kel didn’t even bother taking the Sphere from Aunt.

“I’m Kel.” He made a show of looking me and Damion in the eye while he spoke. “I’m from all over the place, and I feel like squatting.”

He walked over to the wall and carefully lowered himself into position. But Aunt had already changed strategies. She knew she had one more shot at stopping the mutiny. With utter solemnity, she offered Damion the ball. As if entrusting him with our future.

He took it, looking uncertain. He stared at the ball as he tossed it up in the air and caught it again. Toss. Toss. Toss. As if it had the right answer.

“Damion?” Aunt pinned him with her eyes.

“I’m Damion.” He looked over his shoulder at Nami. His studious frown morphed into a grin as he tossed the ball to me. “I’m from Otis Air Force Base in Cape Cod, Massachusetts,” he said, getting up. “And I don’t feel like playing ball today.”

Aunt looked down at me from her chair. Gone was her amiability. Gone was her nose crinkle. Instead, her taut face had the cruel curl of a smile.

“Think carefully, Faye,” she warned me. “Right now, people are just uncomfortable. Sure, they’ll have to finish the Consequence that their actions invoked. But when class is over, you can all go to lunch, enjoy the rest of your day, and we can try again next time. On the other hand, if you don’t behave, you’ll all be staying right here until I’m convinced you understand the lesson.”

I just wanted this to be over. To be out of this airless room. Away from this woman.

Gripping the ball, I watched Maya balance awkwardly, shifting her weight from heel to heel. Even though she hadn’t understood why Kel and I’d stuck our necks out for her the night before, she’d returned the favor in full. Kel, Nami, and Damion kept their backs straight as they faced the wall. Zach’s legs trembled, but he also seemed determined to hold the torturous pose.

“If you disobey, this will become a matter for Dr. Mordoch to settle. Is that what you want?”

No
.
That is definitely not what I want.

“I’m Faye,” I said, and Aunt smiled at me with approval.

I looked around the circle like I was supposed to, but there was no one left to make eye contact with. I dropped the ball and headed over to join my Family.