Hannah's Dream (11 page)

"
My late husband's money
, Becky.  Let's not forget that.  Mr. Ross certainly didn't let me forget."

Becky put her hand on Marian's arm.

"Don't let them make you feel bad.  You earned every penny living with that man.  And now you're taking care of his boy.  It was your money.  It was
you
Ross wronged and they know it.  And whatever you get from the sale of this house is yours, plain and simple."

Marian smiled.  "Yes, it is.  And I'll have to give something to James for all he's done.  I'm just glad there's something to give."

Chapter 17

Sophie Liberty sat in Marian's parlor with a letter in her hand.  Becky had left her there while she notified Marian of her neighbor's unexpected visit.

"She's in a tizzy, that one is," Becky said.  "She's very upset."

"I wonder what it's about.  I know John hasn't written Hannah in quite a while.  I hope everything is all right."

Marian went to the parlor and greeted Sophie.  Sophie's eyes were red and her pallor gray.  She seemed very agitated.

"Sophie, what's wrong?" Marian asked.

Sophie was twisting the paper with both hands.  "It's from Johnny."  She sniffed.  "Oh, Marian, he's gone and gotten married!"

"Oh, dear!" Marian said as she sat.

"She's some woman he met at the hospital, some volunteer.  He's been working there assisting a doctor as part of his studies.  He said her name is Amanda Sue.  Now if that doesn't sound like a brazen hussy..."

"Judge not lest ye be judged, Sophie.  She must be a very nice girl if John loves her."

"He calls her Mandy.  It just makes me so mad.  He's deprived me of a wedding!  And I love Hannah like a daughter.  How could he do this?"

"He must have fallen in love.  Things like that happen."

"I'll not allow her in my house."

"If I may offer you some advice -- it's best to be nice to her.  You don't want John to have to choose between you and his wife."

Sophie looked up from the letter.  Her face was grim.

"I hadn't thought of that," she said.  "John can be headstrong."

"And she'll be the mother of your grandchildren."

"Oh, dear."

"Is he bringing her to meet you?"

"His father has forbidden it.  Malcolm is beside himself.  I'm afraid it will be some time before John is welcome in our house."

"He's a good person, Sophie.  I'm sure his wife is a good person, too.  Try to persuade Malcolm to forgive him."

Marian heard the front door open.

"Hello," Hannah said as she walked into the house.

"How will I tell Hannah?" Sophie said.  "Oh, Marian, she'll be heartbroken."

Hannah heard her name, stopped and leaned against the wall near the parlor door.

"I'll talk to her.  Hannah is a strong girl.  It will take some time, but she'll rally."

"I just feel so terrible.  But you're right, Marian.  She's John's wife and I don't want him to have to choose between us."

Hannah's heart skipped a beat.  John's wife.  How could this be?

She turned toward the door and walked into the parlor.

"What do you mean John's wife?" she said.

The ladies looked at her.  Hannah saw pity in their eyes.

"Mrs. Liberty has had some news from John," Marian said.  "He's...taken a wife."

Marian rose from the settee and went to Hannah.  She put her hands on Hannah's shoulders.

"She's a volunteer at the hospital where John is assisting a doctor.  Hannah, I am so sorry..."

"How could he do this? " Hannah cried.  "Why didn't he tell me?"

Hannah turned and ran up the stairs to her room.  Marian turned to Sophie, who had risen from her chair.

"I'll be going now," Sophie said.  "Please tell Hannah how sorry I am."

"I'll make sure she knows," Marian said.  "Thank you for coming in person to tell us."

Marian walked with Sophie to the door.  She kissed Sophie on the cheek and gave her a small hug.  Sophie's eyes filled with tears.

"I wanted Hannah for my daughter!" she said.

"I know, dear.  I know."

Marian patted Sophie's back.  Then the women parted and Sophie went home.

Marian stood in the foyer trying to decide what to do.  She wondered if she should give Hannah some time alone or if she should go to her.  She decided to go to her daughter and slowly climbed the stairs.

Marian thought she would find Hannah sprawled on her bed in tears, but Hannah was sitting on the bed looking out her window.  Marian sat next to her and put her arm around Hannah's shoulders.

"I haven't heard from him in six months," Hannah said.

"Has it truly been that long?" Marian said.

Hannah nodded.  "I thought something was wrong, but I didn't want to think about it."

"You were both so young when he left," Marian said.

"I wanted to marry him, Mama."

"I know, dear."

"I...wanted to marry him now, before we leave.  I thought if I did I could stay here."

Marian sighed.  No one was looking forward to leaving.

"That's not a good reason to marry," Marian said.
 "Marry in haste, repent at leisure."

Hannah looked at Marian.

"I don't want to go to Colorado," she said.  Then the tears began to stream down her face.

"I hear it's a beautiful place.  The mountains and the sky might inspire you to paint."

Hannah had abandoned sculpture when she lost the contest.  Now she and Louise were painting together.

"But it's so far away.  I'll never see Louise."

"Perhaps Louise can visit.  She'll be graduating, too.  Has she made any plans?"

"Mrs. Mason is sponsoring her.  Did I tell you she's living with her now?"

"I think you mentioned it."

They sat together for a while and looked at the darkening clouds.  A storm was coming.

"Are you all right?" Marian said.

"I'm disappointed," Hannah said.  "I thought he loved me."

"But did you love him?"

Hannah thought.  When she was younger, she had adored Johnny Liberty, but had she loved him?  Everyone at school knew they were "promised," and no boy had ever approached her because they all knew that she and Johnny Liberty had an understanding.  Hannah thought that was love.

She had been caught up in the idea of belonging to someone, being someone's sweetheart, and then his wife.  The other girls had envied her.  Her relationship with Johnny had given her a place in the world, a power she wielded over the other girls.  She'd never thought of herself as haughty, but she had
enjoyed
being betrothed.  Maybe a little too much. 

"I don't know, Mama."

"Then perhaps it's just as well.  This gives you time to sort out your life."

"But I still don't want to go to Colorado."

"None of us do, dear.  But it's what we have to do."

"Is that always the way it is, Mama?  Do we always have to do things we don't want to do because we have to?"

Marian stood and looked down at Hannah.  The girl looked dejected.

"Sometimes we get to do what we want to do.  Just not as often."

Marian kissed the top of Hannah's head and left her alone.  Supper would be ready soon and she had to find Jimmy.  He had gone outside to play stickball with some friends and with the rain coming, she wanted to call him in.

A few days later, Hannah received a letter from John Liberty.  She took the letter to her room and sat on the bed.  She didn't want to open it at first, but she remembered their friendship and read it.

Dear Hannah,

I know my ma has told you the news of my marriage.  I hope you will forgive me for not telling you sooner, but things moved quickly.  My new wife, Mandy, is a volunteer at the hospital where I'm working while I go to school.  She is a wonderful girl.  I didn't mean to fall in love with her, but I did, and I wanted to marry her.  Hannah, when I met Mandy, I never dreamed I'd care for anyone but you.  We talked about you all the time.  She never meant for this to happen, either.  She knew I had a girl back home and when I asked her to be my wife she refused at first, out of respect for you, but I couldn't let her go.

Hannah, I hope you find someone like Mandy, someone you can love with your whole heart.  I will always think of you as my friend.  I hope you can think of me that way, too.

Your friend,

John Liberty

Hannah lay the letter aside.  She thought it would hurt more, knowing he had found someone he liked better than her, but surprisingly, it didn't.  She was glad for him.  They had been apart so long that sometimes she forgot what his voice sounded like.  She put the letter in her jewelry box and decided she wouldn't write back to him.  She would tell his mother to let him know she had received it and to wish him well.  Then she went downstairs for supper.

Chapter 18

Hannah was quiet during supper.  Becky tried to think of things to say, but she couldn't stop thinking about John's betrayal.  Marian felt it was better to let Hannah be and focused on her meal.  Jimmy kept kicking his feet back and forth causing Becky to give him stern looks.

"I can't wait to go to Colorado," he said.

Hannah glared at him.

"I want to ride horses and shoot Indians."

"Jimmy, we don't shoot Indians in this family," Marian said.

"But I want to!  Like Kit Carson."

"I'm sure Mr. Carson's mother didn't approve of his behavior.  Eat your supper," Marian said.

"Can I ride a horse?"

"Of course, you can ride a horse.  I'm sure Uncle James has many horses."

"You can ride a horse here," Becky said.

"These horses are boring," Jimmy said.  "I want to rope steers, too."

"These horses are civilized," Becky added.

"You can paint out there, too, Jimmy," Marian said.

"I don't want to paint anymore," Jimmy said.

"Why not?" Marian asked.

"Only sissies paint."

"Who told you that?"

Jimmy was quiet.  Marian felt it best not to push him.  She would ask him about it when she tucked him into bed.

"I heard from Mr. Leighton at the law firm," Marian said.  "He's found a buyer for the house."

Hannah and Becky looked at Marian.

"He said we can stay until the children finish school.  The buyer has allowed us three months to vacate the house."

"Then I can graduate," Hannah said.

"Yes, dear, you can graduate.  We'll go to New York just as I promised you.  That hasn't changed."

"We don't have to go to New York, Mama," Hannah said.

"I want to take you, Hannah."

"I don't think I want to go anymore."

"Well, if you change your mind, we will go as we planned."

Marian wanted to make all the hurt Hannah felt go away, but she knew there was nothing she could do to ease Hannah's pain.  The next few months would be a whirlwind of activity as they prepared to leave their home of twenty years and Marian hoped that if Hannah was busy, she would forget John Liberty and begin to look forward to a new life in Colorado.  

Evan Morgan came into her mind.  She still kept his picture in a box under her bed.  Would Hannah keep a picture of John Liberty under her bed?

She has to find a good man
, Marian thought,
a kind man who will love her as she loves him.

Becky stood and began clearing the plates from the table.  Hannah stood and helped her.  Jimmy ran upstairs.  Life carried on.

The last few weeks of school seemed endless to the graduating class of 1897.  The breeze from the ocean helped alleviate the oppressive heat in the classrooms and one of the girls, Laura, swooned during art class when the paint fumes overwhelmed her.  Hannah heard another girl remark that Laura wore her corsets too tight.  She was trying to look like Lilly Langtry.

Pierre stood behind Hannah and looked at her painting.  It was a vast improvement over her sculpture.  She was expressing herself on the canvas and Pierre was impressed by the vivid colors she used.  Her anger over the move to Colorado had given her the impetus to create new colors and paint in bold strokes.

"It's coming along nicely," he said.  

He had to restrain himself, but since hearing that John Liberty was no longer an impediment to his pursuit of Hannah, it had been hard for him to be around her without expressing his feelings.  He wanted to touch her shoulder, her cheek, and if he found himself standing too near to her, he would force himself to back away.  It would be unseemly for a teacher to show such advances to a student.  Especially when that teacher was living under the roof of his benefactor.

He walked past Hannah to Louise.  He was always astonished by her works.  She was painting a still life of a vase filled with roses, and the petals that had drifted to the tabletop looked real.

"Very good, Louise," he said.

Louise looked up.  Since living in Margaret Mason's house, she had been observing Mr. Rousseau at home.  She knew he wasn't always truthful.

"Thanks," she said.

He continued on to the next student while Louise watched him.  She knew he liked Hannah, but Louise never told her.  John Liberty had broken Hannah's heart and Louise felt very protective toward her friend.  She didn't trust Mr. Rousseau and if he tried to get too close to Hannah, Louise would tell Mrs. Mason.